There are two things in life that are so important and pertinent that if you can have them, you are good to go. They are two things you need in relationships, marriage and life. They are the two things you need at work, in your school, in your business and in every sphere of life.
The Presidents of nations will pay millions to get these two things and the common man will desperately search for them. What are these two things?
These two things have caused not a few to dabble into the occult and some other terrains that are dangerous.
People are willing to pay millions for these two things. Some die in their bid to get them and some even lose their lives when they fail to get it right. Some have committed suicide at their inability to have these two things.
Everyday of our lives, we are trying to answer these two questions. We make decisions based on our projections on these two things.
What are these two things?
1. Profitability or fruitfulness 2. Direction or Navigation
That is the summary of success in life. The young girl wants to know who to fall in love with. That’s direction. She also wants to know whether it will last or be fruitful and then lead to marriage. That’s profitability.
The young man wants to know which career to follow or business to do. That’s direction. He also wants to know whether it will eventually make him rich. That is profitability.
The minister of God wants to know what God will have him do. Is it a church or an itinerant ministry? That’s direction. He also wants to know whether the church will grow or the itinerant ministry will prevail. That is profitability.
And it goes on like that all through life. We are constantly tying to search and check. Will it prosper? Is it the right direction?
Life without a compass can be frustrating. One can be lost in the meandering paths of life without a navigation system. There is nothing as tiring as proceeding on a journey without direction. And after you have direction, what will I do when I get there? We are all in a race, so says Apostle Paul, but then to where? Speed in the wrong direction can be a tragedy of life.
God gave me a scripture that answers with all finality what I have been discussing with you this morning. Direction and Profitability!
Here is the scripture.
Thus saith the Lord, thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; I am the Lord thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go. (Isaiah 48:17 KJV)
This scripture nailed it all.
I am the Lord thy God which teacheth thee to profit – Profitability.
I am the Lord thy God which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go – Direction.
In studying some of these words in Hebrew from where they are translated, I saw some beautiful truths.
The word “teacheth” is “lamad” and it means amongst other things, “to diligently and expertly instruct” Do you believe God is an expert enough to teach you in your relationship, marriage, career, business and so on?
And then, the word that interested me most and caused an explosion of revelation within me is this. The word “Profit” is “yaal” and it means to “properly ascend,” to be “valuable” and “useful”
I know you have ascended a little in life, but we are talking about “to properly ascend!” God is about to expertly and diligently instruct you to properly ascend and to be valuable and useful!
And then He says He will lead you in the way to go. The right man to get married to, the right lady to go after, the business to choose and the career to settle with.
Get ready as God teaches you to profit and also leads you in the way to go! When you have these two things; success is inevitable!
I see God teaching you and leading you! It is difficult in the natural realm to have these two together. A good teacher may not know how to lead. A good leader may not know how to teach. But in God, we have both! You will succeed. God will lead you. He will teach you. You will no longer be confused! The light of God dawns upon your soul right now.
From this morning, you know what to do and where to go. You will no longer draw a blank, God is your teacher and you leader. From this morning, you will no longer be lost in the maze and turns of life that leads nowhere, you will have direction and you will profit! Why? God said so! Go ahead and speak that into your life!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led and taught by God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will lead you to your right partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 48:17 (BBE) The Lord who takes up your cause, the Holy One of Israel, says, I am the Lord your God, who is teaching you for your profit, guiding you by the way in which you are to go.
Part of beingsincere and being open and transparent in marriage is being able to express yourself without feeling ashamed. This is why we are considering the topic Don’t Be Afraid of Being Needy In Marriage”
I know this could be difficult to do. I have been there before. My husband is a full-blown-blooded choleric. And clerics are very expressive and opinionated. They could be very blunt and believe why should they be diplomatic? In fact, the blunter the better. They are not apologetic at all.
In my own thinking as a phlegmatic, everything has to be with diplomacy. You have to think of not hurting the other person even if it means you get hurt instead. You have to be apologetic and so on.
My husband is of the opinion that if he needs anything he will ask. Jokingly or straightforward, he will ask. He believes there is nothing he should not be able to ask his wife especially Jeru trip(*winks). He is never ashamed.
I had to learn to ask and not be ashamed that I am needy.
Recently, I saw our Caucasian dog do this and the Holy Spirit ministered to me that it’s so easy to ask for what you want.
Shame is a sign you are not naked and transparent with your spouse yet.
Our huge dog, whenever you are outside will come to you, make sure you notice him and then lie down very close to you expecting that you use your leg to rub him. He shows pleasure and if you remove your leg he will use his own legs to touch you. A non-verbal way of saying “don’t stop”.
We as couples should always learn to ask politely and courteously from our spouse. Don’t let the unfavorable answer of our spouses discourage us. Just ask. It is either he/she says Yes, No, or some other time.
We all are needy, in one way or another. Where I am strong my husband is weak and he is strong where I am weak. God created it so. We need one another, but we have the responsibility of making our needs known.
Don’t be too egoistic and don’t be ashamed of your needs. God already knows you are needy. Don’t also try to be humble unnecessarily by sacrificing your needs. Talk about your needs as a woman. Talk about your needs as a man, which includes jeru trip, intimacy, affection, time out even the need to be pampered.
Let’s be expressive even if we have to learn it.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I put God first place in my life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, empower me to do thy will, at all times
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to sow a good seed into her today!
One of the greatest challenges that a man will face is how to care of his wife. This is not because a man is reluctant to do so, but simply because the definition of care in a man’s brain is sometimes exact opposite of how a lady defines care. I am not talking about when you’ve just fallen in love. Mostly at that time, your eyes are not open to reality then. At the times when you’ve just fallen in love, everything he does is okay and everything she does is okay!
A woman sees C-A-R-E as availability, attention and some good money! A man often sees C-A-R-E as money, money and money, and that is where the problem is?
Didn’t I just send you money? How can you say I don’t care? Didn’t I just send you to Dubai? You see, a woman that truly loves you doesn’t mind going to Dubai, but she doesn’t want to go alone! She wants to go with you!
I know there are some women who see C-A-R-E as money, money and money! This isn’t a genuine love, and at the end of the day, they are still frustrated despite the money because the real need is never met!
This is the bane of ladies who are of marriageable age, but refuse to love and be loved appropriately because of some man who is giving them money or who rents an apartment for them somewhere.
You call them big girls, but they are really small inside! The big girls are not the ones spending some ill-gotten money that they accumulated from using their bodies as a commodity; the big girls are the ones who refuse to compromise in the face of provocation, who decides to stand up for God!
If you are engaged to a lady who never asks for your time and attention but only wants you to send her money, you should really be worried! She is probably getting the emotional fulfillment somewhere else and you are just a tool in her hands, to get money!
On the other hand, if a lady never stresses you for money but only asks that you call regularly and be there for her, she really loves you! Though, there could be an extreme of this as well, when the lady in question is overly needy because of past experiences and self-esteem issues.
So how do you take care of lady? Be there for her. Take care of her by spending time with her. But, I have to provide for her, so I am busy and I have to be away! Yes, but you have to create time out of no time, to be available for her. May you not get the money and then lose her!
You need to understand that it is a need of hers! Initially she might not complain because the money is always there, but after a while, she would rather let you have her than the money having her.
Why do you think some rich women get depressed? Haven’t you seen ladies living in palatial mansions who are so unhappy and depressed?
Money answereth all things…that it can answer!
Like it is often said, can money buy sleep? Nay, it may buy waterbed, not sleep!
Can money buy a good heart, nay, it may get a beautiful face, not necessarily a good heart. One of the worst things that can happen to a man is a stunningly beautiful face sitting on an evil heart! Conversely, one of the greatest tragedies that can happen to a woman is a stupendously rich man and a handsome face sitting on an abusive, egocentric and violent man!
His money buys your body, your mouth and your mind! You can’t even think for yourself, that is not marriage! Sadly this is where a lot of ladies find themselves! A lady called me sometimes ago weeping profusely; that she has all the money but she cannot spend! She was living in a prison!
It is for this reason that when you are talking of a relationship or marriage with a person, the most singular important factor is God’s choice for you!
And then some people will come up with some funny ideas like; what if God gives me somebody I don’t love? What you don’t know is that God is not man, that arithmetic or geometry will never be.
That God will lead you to somebody you hate all your life? It never happens like that! You will always love what God offers because He gives you the best! Yes, initially you may not cooperate with God’s plan because of selfishness and greed, but when you come to embrace God’s plan, you will see the wisdom of God, and you will be full of praises to God!
Only God knows the man or woman that will last the whole journey with you. Only God knows the one that will pack his or her load along the way. Only God knows the one that might pull the trigger on you five years later. Only God knows the one that wouldn’t mind using you for some ritual… because God looks into the heart…while you are looking at the bank account and the face! You see why it is important you follow God’s direction?
What if you are already married and you feel you made a mistake? Stay there and correct that mistake, with prayers, good attitudes, wisdom and a lot of maturity, God can heal your marriage and make it good!
May God help us all!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not confused. I am being led of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord lead me into that place by your side.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. (Psalms 5:3 KJV)
There aremany reasons why your wife loses interest in bed with you.
This attitude is not to be ignored because it can potentially bring harm to marriage.
It can push a man without self control into the zone of adulterous escapades, and of course, that comes with its unpleasant and attendant consequences that are detrimental to the family and home.
When this happens over and over again, that marriage is in serious danger of being exploited by the devil.
What seems like occasional refusals can quickly degenerate to a point where the wife closes up her spirit and the husband starts looking elsewhere.
When you look at the scriptures, it advocates that you should not deny each other sexually.
As a counselor, I have to counsel not too few a couple on this area.
What are those reasons why a wife can suddenly lose interest, especially if she has been cooperative before?
1. When she is repeatedly hurt and disappointed
Yes, the man is the head of the house and he is supposed to have the final say.
But when the man refuses to let his wife talk all the time, shuts her up and mute her voice, it can make her withdraw emotionally. When she is withdrawn emotionally, she cannot enjoy jeru trip like she should.
She is not a prostitute. And because she is not, a sexual experience for her is a total experience that affects every part of her.
If she is unhappy while at it, she can have the feeling of being raped.
And when this happens continuously, she would associate pain to an experience that you are supposed to enjoy and which is supposed to transport you to a land of delight like never before.
I believe this is one of the reasons Apostle Peter said:
1Pe 3:7 (CEV) If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor…
Being thoughtful about her off bed will make her cooperate more on the bed. Invest in her emotionally. Stop hurting her over and over again. The moment you lose her emotionally, you will not enjoy yourself as well.
I am not justifying this attitude on the part of the wife, because this attitude is not the appropriate response to an insensitive husband.
Maybe he just does not understand how to treat a woman or how you want to be treated specifically.
That is not a sin in itself, he only needs to learn. So, talk to him. Explain, rather than withdraw, go quiet and sulk. Communicate. Express your frustrations without nagging and work together to build your home.
May God grant more understanding!
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will cooperate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your love be shed abroad in our home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (GW) Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.
There are myths every single should disbelief. Let me show you some.
1. The reason I am not married is because I am not beautiful
You see, beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When you truly meet your spouse, you will be beautiful to him however you look.
Why do you think you are ugly? It is probably because some people told you that. Well, that is their opinion. However you look, somebody will soon see you and tell you you are beautiful.
I always say humourously that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You will be fearful (ugly) to some and you will be wonderful (beautiful) to others.
Psa 139:14 KJV I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
2. God is punishing me because of my past mistakes.
God never consults your past to determine your future. Let’s take a look at the scripture.
Heb 10:17 KJV And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.
God will not only forgive you, He will forget about it. He would erase it out of His records. And listen to me, what God has forgiven and forgotten, don’t let the devil who is the accuser of brethren hold you on it.
Here is what Message translation says:
Heb 10:17 MSG He concludes, I’ll forever wipe the slate clean of their sins.
What God has concluded on, don’t allow the devil to add another paragraph. Where God has put a full stop, don’t allow anybody to change it to a comma.
3. A woman can never successfully submit to her husband
Submission to one’s husband is not a negotiation, it is an instruction from God. When you submit to your husband, you will bring yourself into a season of unprecedented favour, an unleashing of creativity and flowing in the fullness of God’s blessings over your life. Why? Because you are obeying God, even when it is not easy.
1Pe 3:1-2 AMP (1) IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, (2) When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
4. There is certainly a curse working against me.
Curses are real. But the liberation from curses is even more real! The devil is wicked, but God is loving.
Through the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have been redeemed from curses of the law. We have been made free. No devil should be allowed to lord it over you again!
Gal 3:13-14 MSG Christ redeemed us from that self-defeating, cursed life by absorbing it completely into himself. Do you remember the Scripture that says, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”? That is what happened when Jesus was nailed to the Cross: He became a curse, and at the same time dissolved the curse. And now, because of that, the air is cleared and we can see that Abraham’s blessing is present and available for non-Jews, too. We are all able to receive God’s life, his Spirit, in and with us by believing–just the way Abraham received it.
I will conclude on these myths tomorrow. Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am free from myths and wrong beliefs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will deliver you from known and unknown myths
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Rom 5:5, KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Challenge every myth you know about marriage.
