How will you know if your lover truly loves you or not?
He will love God first
This is the first acid test to know whether a man would really love you appropriately or understands what love is.
Listen to me, guys, you will never be able to love a lady the right way until you love God first.
You don’t love a woman with money alone or with fame, otherwise, the love tangos of celebrities should have been successful, but that is not always the case. The fundamental cause of marriage failure among them is that they don’t know God.
God is love and love without God is no love, it becomes lust
Is he a God-lover? If he has issues with loving God, he will have issues with loving you. True love can only be shed abroad in your heart by the Spirit of God.
It is only the God factor in a man that won’t allow him to lift up his hands against his wife in the days on anger.
Will those days come? Yes, they will come, but what will restrain a man from the tendency of beating and battering his wife is that fear of God.
So then, Pastor, how do you know a man that loves God?
a. He would want to obey God always. If you love God, you will keep His commandments. That is what Jesus said. He wouldn’t be insisting on pre-marital sex.
b. He will serve God with his time. He wouldn’t be too busy to serve God in any capacity.
c. He will serve God with his finances. He will not struggle with tithe. That is how you know a man that really loves God.
d. He will listen to his pastor or mentor. If a man loves God, he wouldn’t have problems with the servants of God.
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e. He doesn’t joke with his devotional life. He knows that is the source of his strength in God.
f. He will not manipulate your emotions or try to use you. The fear of God in him would not allow all that.
g. He will not be “okay” with habitual sins. He will be uncomfortable with offending God in anyway.
h. He will not be able to accommodate strife for too long. He will be forgiving and will not be comfortable quarreling for extended number of days without feeling bad about that attitude.
I can go on and on but those are just a few.
At the background of all these, however is the fact that nobody is perfect, and nobody will have it all. You will never be able to see a man that has it all. We are all “works of project” in the making.
So there may be mistakes here and there, but you will see signs of genuine repentance and willingness to make adjustments.
At the height of all these, do you have peace? If you have peace, then go ahead, irrespective of some imperfections. When I say, imperfections, I don’t mean consistent habitual sins!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by the Spirit of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me in the way to go and guide my feet into your plans
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “No one who abides in Him [ who lives and remains in communion with and in obedience to Him—deliberately, knowingly, and habitually ] commits (practices) sin. No one who [ habitually ] sins has either seen or known Him [ recognized, perceived, or understood Him, or has had an experiential acquaintance with Him ].” (1Jn 3:6, AMP)
That is the name he usually calls her. As he held her hands and looked into her eyes, Angie tried to look back into his eyes and beyond the words, to really find out if Buddy meant his words, but she couldn’t decipher anything.
“Well, I am not sure” replied Angie.
“Why would you say that,” Buddy said, still holding her hands.
“You are going for NYSC next week, I am not sure what you will come back with.”
“Oh, common, Angie, we have been together for four years now and by the grace of God, we will get married soonest. You have no reasons to doubt me.”
“I don’t doubt you, but I get scared sometimes.”
“Angie now, why would you be scared?”
“You know what happened….”
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“Don’t go there!” Buddy cuts in, raising his voice a bit. “I have already asked for forgiveness and that it wouldn’t happen again. I thought you have forgiven me?”
And they went on and on.
Angie has her fears because of the mistake that Buddy made of recent with another girl that he slept with whom he initially claimed he was mentoring. How did a protégée end up in bed? What type of mentoring is that? There is a difference between a mentor and a tormentor!
Angie wasn’t sure whether it was a genuine mistake or a state of his heart. If it is a state of his heart, then he would still do it again.
But the dilemma is that you cannot enter a man’s heart.
Only someone knows the heart of a man, and that is God. Angie knows she would need God to really make up her mind, as she wouldn’t want to be hurt and disappointed again.
How do you know a man’s heart? How do you know a guy who loves you and will eventually marry you? That will be our subject of discourse tomorrow morning.
Don’t miss it!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by the Spirit of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me in the way to go and guide my feet into your plans
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “No one who abides in Him [ who lives and remains in communion with and in obedience to Him—deliberately, knowingly, and habitually ] commits (practices) sin. No one who [ habitually ] sins has either seen or known Him [ recognized, perceived, or understood Him, or has had an experiential acquaintance with Him ].” (1Jn 3:6, AMP)
Focus on your marriage to make it work at all costs and against all odds. Lay the bed on your marriage well, so you can enjoy all the beauty in your own marriage. Learn all the principles you need to learn, drop all bad habits you need to drop. Break all pride, cockiness, selfishness, deception, and let your own marriage work.
If you are already separated, decide what you want, walk with God, and let him show you what next to do. Whichever way, God loves you and still wants the very best for you.
How to focus on your own marriage
1. Focus on yourself You are a vital part of that marriage. Discover yourself. Who are you? What are your desires, what makes you come alive, what makes you enjoy living? Love yourself. Be a happy you.
2. Focus on your spouse As a married person, the most important human being on earth is your spouse. Begin to treat him/her as such. Let nothing absolutely come in between that. Let the whole world know, your spouse is so important to you.
Some people treat their wives like ‘one kobo’ and expect her to treat them like ‘ a million dollar’, it ain’t gonna work that way.
Seize every opportunity to let everyone know this one human being is number one on your list.
3. Focus on God Now, it will be very foolish to want to focus on yourself and your spouse and leave God out. It can not work. God is the center that holds the pieces all together. God is the vital force that crowns all our efforts with success.
4. Focus on your strength You have strengths. Whether it’s your beauty, your home-making skills, your intellect, your being jovial, whatever it is, focus on it. It’s your selling point in your marriage. Don’t let go of your strong points.it is what will make your spouse keep coming back to you.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
5. Focus on minimizing your weaknesses Don’t ever make the mistake of pretending your weaknesses don’t exist. Don’t ignore them. Your weaknesses have the potential of destroying the marriage you are building, so destroy your weaknesses before they ever destroy your marriage.
6. Focus on satisfying yourselves Why should you spend your energy, time, money on trying to please or satisfy another man’s wife? That’s called wastage.
Don’t go into an unprofitable venture. Ask yourself, if I satisfy her, how does it add to me or make my own marriage better?
Tend your own garden. When it’s harvest time, you won’t go and harvest on another man’s farm. It is not your own, so focus and build your own marriage.
He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread: but he that followeth vain persons is void of understanding.
Pro 12:11
God bless you and bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to embrace your love
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 49:16 (GW) I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Your walls are always in my presence.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register, pray and plan to attend camp meeting now
The opposite will always attract in marriage. You fell in love with your spouse because he/she is different from you. This is so not to encourage disagreement but to bring a different viewpoint into your covenant relationship.
Your love should move from being emotional to being intentional. This is where commitment, maturity, and understanding come to play.
You don’t do marriage because of feelings, you do because of commitment and respect to God who instituted marriage
Emotional love is when you have butterflies in your belly. When your spouse is so nice, loving, caring and he/she is just dope. No faults. No flaws. Everything is just right about them.
But you move to a point of maturity when even though you don’t feel loving towards your spouse because of what they have done or what they have not done, you are intentional and committed to doing those things that keep the love alive.
You don’t kill the embers of the fire of love. You keep on servicing love. Serving and maintenance is an important part of anything we hold dear and anything of value to us that we use.
We maintain our cars, clean up and repair things in our houses so also we should be ready to service our marriage.
Just because things are broken in your car or house doesn’t mean you throw them away. You are committed to spending your money and time fixing whatever needs to be fixed.
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Remember, marriage is till death do us part. You are not going anywhere. You stick with it until you have a breakthrough.
Don’t wait till everything breaks downtown beyond repairs. Just like you don’t wait till your four tyres are flat before repairing and changing them
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus mighty name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am intentional about my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV)Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a logical conversation with your spouse
One way you can achieve this is by rejecting the victim mentality in your relationship.
There are people who live with a victim mentality. It is not a good place to be. It is a negative mentality, an unfortunate place to be.
The guy with the victim mentality goes into a relationship expecting it to break up. The lady with victim mentality expects to be heartbroken, expects to be disappointed, and expects to be jilted.
Somehow, that person is addicted to pain. Until he or she is treated in some bad way, he or she is bored. It is a contradiction. He or she prays against pain but then looks forward to it through actions and in-actions. Such a person enjoys the depression and despondency that comes after being hurt.
So the person indirectly positions himself or herself to be hurt. Even when the hurt is not forthcoming, he ensures something happens that will create the scenario.
It is a victim mentality, a time-waster, a destiny twister.
And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.
Num 13:33 (KJV)
How did these people know that they were like grasshoppers in other people’s eyes? It was their belief system.
When you go into a relationship with this mentality, the break up is guaranteed.
This mentality and feeling must be rejected.
Don’t go into a relationship believing that you will be abused. Don’t go into a relationship believing that you will be jilted. Don’t go into a relationship believing that you will be cheated and conned.
Don’t go into a relationship believing that you will be dumped and discarded. Don’t go into a relationship when you don’t even love yourself.
Believe the best of God. Love believes the best. Give yourself some hope, stay positive and constantly declare God’s word over your life.
I will stop here this morning.
May God bless your relationship!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am loved of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, take away from me every negative spirit
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Num 13:33 (MSG) Why, we even saw the Nephilim giants (the Anak giants come from the Nephilim). Alongside them we felt like grasshoppers. And they looked down on us as if we were grasshoppers.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Confession God’s word over your life
