We spend a lot of time praying for the “right person” to come our way, but how often do we ask God to make us the right person ourselves? We have long lists of qualities we want in a life partner, but are we becoming someone who embodies those same qualities?
Finding the right person is only one part of a godly relationship; the other is becoming the kind of person who can sustain it. Instead of worrying about when you’ll meet your future spouse, see this season of singleness as an opportunity for God to shape you into the best version of yourself, spiritually, emotionally, and in every area of life.
How to become the right person:
1. Build a Strong Relationship with God
Before you pursue a relationship, your first priority should be deepening your relationship with God. The truth is, no one can complete you or fill a void that only God was meant to fill.
Have you ever had this thought that “If only I had a relationship, I would be happier”? This is a lie the world tells us. True fulfillment comes from knowing God first. A relationship should complement your life, not complete it because in Christ you are already complete.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
The more you invest in your relationship with God, the more you become the person He created you to be, and the more prepared you’ll be for the right relationship when the time comes.
2. Let God Shape Your Character
To be very honest, no one enters a relationship as a flawless, perfectly put-together person. We all have our struggles, habits, and past wounds that, if left unchecked, can spill over into our relationships. The problem isn’t having flaws, it’s refusing to let God work on them.
A relationship won’t fix insecurity. Marriage won’t heal emotional wounds. A godly partner won’t erase unhealthy patterns. Only God can transform you from the inside out. Instead of waiting for someone to “complete” you, allow God to refine you.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (ESV).
God isn’t asking for perfection, He’s asking for willingness. So, instead of just praying for the right person, pray that “Lord, make me into the person You’ve called me to be.”
3. Grow in Emotional Maturity
Love is more than just an emotion. When things are going well, it’s simple to feel in love, but true love isn’t about fleeting feelings. Love is a choice, a daily decision to be kind, patient, and dedicated even when things aren’t going well
Strong relationships need maturity, self-control, and sacrifice. Feelings alone will not get you through disagreements, or misunderstandings. That’s where commitment comes into play, the determination to stick around, the intentionality to work through problems, and keep choosing the other person.
Maturity is that you know how to apologize, take responsibility, and handle your emotions in a healthy way. It means you’re prepared for love beyond the honeymoon phase, the kind of love that mirrors Christ’s love for us which is unconditional.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)
4. Build yourself
A relationship isn’t some shortcut to wholeness. If you’re not making progress now, marriage won’t magically fix it. So instead of waiting, start building.
“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.” (Proverbs 24:27, ESV)
Before stepping into love, take time to build yourself first. Build your career, and skills, and pursue your goals. your purpose isn’t on hold until marriage. Make progress, develop your gifts, and embrace the season you’re in. In this way, you’re not just waiting for the right person, but becoming the right person.
Conclusion
This season of singleness isn’t a waiting room, it’s an opportunity. So embrace it, grow through it, and trust that when the time is right, God will align you with the right person. Until then, keep becoming the best version of yourself in Christ!
Abigail is one of the women in the Bible, with rich lessons to teach and wisdom to glean from.
Her story is in 1 Samuel 25: 1 – end.
Her story teaches us how to handle any difficult relationship. Whether it is a relationship with an employer, an associate, a colleague, a child, a mentor, a mentee, a spouse, or a family member, it’s the same principle and it can be applied for success.
1 Samuel 25:3 [KJV] Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb.
Emotional intelligence, people management, and good understanding were virtues that Abigail possessed. Abigail had a good understanding of herself, her husband, her situation, and her household.
Our focus is not on Nabal’s behavior but on her ability to beautifully manage and navigate the situation.
It is our year of supernatural growth and our emphasis should be growing in the fruit of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 [KJV] But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
The more we learn to develop the fruits of the Spirit, the better our relationships will be even if the persons are “churlish and evil in their doings” like Nabal
We can see her good understanding being displayed in her attitudes, speech, actions, and the quality of her inner life.
Her good understanding helped her to know the times and seasons and how to salvage a situation that would have led to the murder of every life associated with Nabal, both young and old.
The story of Abigail is not just for wives but also for men, who want to know how to manage people. People are ladders, especially those relationships God brought into your life.
Don’t discard people because of offenses and unforgiveness. You need to understand that not every man has developed fully in the fruit of the Spirit. They might just be the help you need at certain junctions in your life.
There are some things we have control over and some we don’t have control over. You don’t have control over other people’s behavior but you have control over your attitudes.
It’s all about how you react when others treat you badly.
Being married to Nabal was a lot, but Abigail was a woman who had a good understanding.
Isaiah 11:2 tells us that the Holy Spirit is the spirit of wisdom and understanding.
I pray the Holy Spirit will impact our lives with Good understanding in Jesus’ mighty name amen
There’s something truly special about being on God’s side. You can achieve effortless victory when others are succumbing to defeat or falling.
As we look ahead to the coming year, it’s hard not to feel uneasy. The global economic situation is not a cause for celebration. All signs point to a challenging and uncertain future.
However, you are aware that the scriptures have already foretold us about these challenging times.
Isa 60:1-2 (KJV) Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee. [2] For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the LORD shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee.
You are to arise and shine!
Don’t be afraid or let trepidation hold you back. The darker it gets, the brighter your light shines!
I particularly love the Amplified Version.
Isa 60:1-2 (AMPC) ARISE [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you–rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! [2] For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and dense darkness [all] peoples, but the Lord shall arise upon you [O Jerusalem], and His glory shall be seen on you.
You can rise to a new life in the coming days! You have the opportunity to transform your life in the coming days!
How do you stand tall when others are falling? How do you maintain your composure when others are losing their footing?
Psa 20:7-8 (KJV) Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God. [8] They are brought down and fallen: but we are risen, and stand upright.
It is where you put your trust that matters!
Don’t join others in trusting in chariots, horses, man-made solutions, and inventions; rather, put your trust in God!
These are the times to remember the name of the Lord!
Take these Prayer Points:
I will not fall in Jesus’ name
My light will shine and will never be put out in Jesus’ name
Lord, teach me and grant me the grace to always trust in you, in Jesus’ name!
We started on this topic of what every husband must do his wife yesterday, I’m sure we’re being blessed and are learning. Let’s continue…
3. Husbands, know that your wife is vital to your success and progress.
She was taken out of you and so provides the other side to make you balanced. The man is logical but the woman is emotional.
She is given to details. When she is part of your success and progress, then the success is well-rounded, not loop-sided.
Your wife is a co-heir of the divine grace of life, she is vital to your destiny.
She is an important entity and her input is relevant in the equation of your life. This is important so that your prayers will not be hindered. Even God recognizes the vital role your wife plays.
Husbands, you have to treat your own wives well according to the scriptures.
Be a friend. Provide a conducive atmosphere for her to communicate and express her innermost thoughts to you.
She is your helper, let her function in her role. If she is not able to function well, the loss is yours, but if she is given the opportunity to function maximally, it is to your benefit.
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4. She wants you to know that she looks forward to your leadership.
God has placed the man in a leadership position over the woman in their relationship. He has been given what it takes to lead the woman because he has the map of their destination.
The woman needs a good head for her to function maximally. She is meant to follow but needs someone to provide that good leadership.
It is important that husbands know that the way they lead their wives matters. You are not to dominate or shout out commands and rules. You are to guide lovingly.
The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. – Eph 5:23 (MSG)
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. – Eph 5:23 (KJV)
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 1Co 11:3 (KJV)
In a marriage relationship, there is authority from Christ to husband, and from husband to wife. The authority of Christ is the authority of God. -1Co 11:3 (MSG)
I will stop here and continue tomorrow.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to honor my wife in all things
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I nullify every activity of the devil over my family.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Husbands, you in turn must treat your wives with tenderness, viewing them as feminine partners who deserve to be honored, for they are co-heirs with you of the “divine grace of life,” so that nothing will hinder your prayers. -1Pe 3:7 (TPT)
