How Men Can Earn Authority in Relationships or Marriage
Yesterday, we started looking at how and why men are losing authority. We will continue in that light today.
How to Earn the Authority You’re Demanding.
1) Master Yourself First
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (Proverbs 25:28)
Get your finances in order
Control your temper
Break free from addictions
Develop emotional intelligence
Take care of your physical health
Grow spiritually through consistent discipline
2) Serve Before You Lead
Find ways to serve your partner or family without being asked
Anticipate needs
Do the unglamorous tasks
Sacrifice your preferences
Put their well-being before your comfort
3) Become a Student
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” (Proverbs 4:7 KJV)
Read books on marriage, leadership, and emotional intelligence
Listen more than you speak
Seek counsel from older, wiser men
Learn from your mistakes instead of repeating them
4) Lead by Example
“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.” (Titus 2:7)
Don’t just tell your family what to do, show them. You want them to pray? They should see you praying. You want them to read Scripture? They should see you reading Scripture. You want respect? Show them what respectability looks like.
5) Own Your Failures
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)
Real men apologize when they’re wrong. They admit mistakes. They don’t blame others but take responsibility.
6) Seek God First
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
Your relationship with God must be your foundation. Everything else flows from there.
Biblical submission is a woman’s RESPONSE to godly leadership, not her obligation despite ungodly leadership. When you love your wife like Christ loves the church, when you’re serving, sacrificing, protecting, providing, and prioritizing her good, submission becomes natural. It’s not forced or demanded, it just flows from trust and respect.
It’s time to grow up, earn the authority you’re demanding. It’s time to lead like Jesus led through service, sacrifice, and love. The women are scaling up. The question is: Will you?
In a world filled with distractions, pressures, and competing priorities, men are called to rise above the noise and live with purpose. The Bible provides clear guidance on how to navigate life as a man of integrity, strength, and faith. Here are five critical decisions every man should make to fulfill his God-given role and leave a lasting legacy.
1. Decide to Lead with Humility
True leadership isn’t about power or control—it’s about serving others. Jesus set the ultimate example when He washed His disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15), demonstrating that greatness comes through humility. As a man, decide to lead your family, workplace, and community not by demanding respect but by earning it through selfless service. Be willing to admit mistakes, listen to others, and prioritize their needs over your own ego.
2. Decide to Walk in Integrity
Proverbs 10:9 says, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” A man of integrity aligns his actions with his words and values. Decide today to live honestly—even when no one is watching. Whether it’s in business dealings, relationships, or personal decisions, choose to do what is right rather than what is easy. Your reputation is built on the small, consistent choices you make daily.
3. Decide to Protect What Matters Most
Men are called to be protectors—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Ephesians 5:25 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, sacrificing for her well-being. Beyond marriage, this principle applies to all areas of life. Decide to safeguard your family from harmful influences, defend those who cannot defend themselves, and stand firm against injustice. A protector doesn’t shy away from challenges; he faces them head-on with courage and conviction.
4. Decide to Pursue Wisdom
The Book of Proverbs repeatedly emphasizes the importance of wisdom, calling it more valuable than wealth or power (Proverbs 3:13-18). Decide to grow in knowledge and understanding by spending time in God’s Word, seeking counsel from wise mentors, and learning from life’s experiences. Wisdom enables you to make sound decisions, avoid unnecessary pitfalls, and guide others effectively. A wise man leaves a legacy of insight that benefits generations to come.
5. Decide to Depend on God
No matter how strong or capable you may feel, true strength comes from leaning on God. Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Decide to surrender your plans, fears, and struggles to Him. Trust that His timing is perfect, His provision is sufficient, and His grace is abundant. When you depend on God, you become unshakable because your foundation is secure in Him.
Final Thought:
Every decision shapes the man you are becoming. Will you choose humility over pride, integrity over compromise, protection over passivity, wisdom over foolishness, and dependence on God over self-reliance? These choices define not only your character but also the impact you’ll have on those around you. Men, the world needs godly leaders who reflect Christ’s heart and exemplify His ways. Start making these decisions today, and watch how God uses you to build a legacy of faith, strength, and love.
We’re halfway through the year already. For some, that’s exciting as goals are being crushed, plans are working out, and momentum is strong. For others, it feels like the year is slipping away, and the energy that came with January 1st has long faded.
Wherever you find yourself on that spectrum, now is a great time to pause and ask: What will make me stand out in the months ahead? What is that one thing that will set you apart?
People everywhere are talking about pushing harder, resetting goals, and making the rest of the year count. And that’s good—we should strive to grow, improve, and use our time wisely.
But here’s something that’s often overlooked: beyond talent, ambition, and strategy, there’s one key ingredient that will truly set you apart, and that is God’s presence.
Look at this moment from Scripture:
One of them said he knew a young fellow in Bethlehem, the son of a man named Jesse, who was not only a talented harp player, but was handsome, brave, and strong, and had good, solid judgment. “What’s more,” he added, “the Lord is with him.” 1 Samuel 16:18 (TLB)
David had skill. He had strength. He had the look. But what made him stand out? God was with him.
Israel was home to numerous talented musicians. Music was a huge part of their culture. Yet, when King Saul was tormented and desperate for peace, only one name came up: David. Not because he was the best performer, but because he carried something supernatural.
It wasn’t the harp that calmed the king. It was the presence of God in David’s life that made his music powerful. That same presence helped him defeat Goliath. Those stones didn’t win the battle—God did.
So here’s the real question for you this season:
What’s the “one more thing” that sets you apart?
At your workplace, everyone may have the same qualifications. In your business, others may have more resources or experience. Among your friends, you may not be the most outgoing or popular. That’s okay. The X-factor is not your talent but God’s presence in your life.
Are you going to be just another name on the list, or will you be the one people look to because they sense something different about you? Peace. Wisdom. Clarity. Purpose. That’s what comes from living in God’s presence.
Maybe you’re in a relationship and your current “growth goal” is more romantic getaways or cute Instagram photos. Inasmuch as there is nothing wrong with that, what if you also focused on being the kind of person who brings spiritual strength to the relationship?
Or maybe you’re aiming to improve your image, career, or influence. Great! But beyond the surface, how’s your soul? Are you investing in the one thing that really lasts?
This season is full of opportunities—but it’s also full of distractions. Don’t get caught up in the noise. Refocus. Reconnect. God’s presence will bring clarity, direction, strength, and favor in ways you can’t manufacture on your own.
People may not always be able to put it into words, but they’ll notice. They’ll be drawn to the person who carries real peace, real power, and real purpose. That’s what David had. And it’s available to you too.
And when you truly walk with God, you’ll find that excellence follows. God’s Spirit doesn’t produce mediocrity. But His presence isn’t automatic, you have to pursue it. You have to practice being aware of God daily, in both quiet moments and busy ones.
So don’t let the second half of this year go by on autopilot.
Choose to be the one who carries the presence of God. That’s what will truly set you apart.
Daniel was a young man in a foreign place. Everything around him had changed—his name, his language, his environment. The safety net of his home, culture, and spiritual community was gone. No one was there to check on him. If he wanted, he could have blended in and lived like everyone else. No one would know. But he knew who he was. That was the difference.
Daniel 1:8 – “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself…”
Daniel chose discipline. Not because it was easy. Not because someone was standing over him. But because deep down, he had already made up his mind about the kind of person he wanted to be. He knew his identity in Christ.
That’s the heart of self-discipline. It is not about “trying to be a good Christian.” It is the practical proof of who you believe you are, even when no one is watching. No partner to see if you prayed today. No one to notice whether you’re slipping spiritually. It is just you, your choices, and God. And honestly, that can feel like a lot, not because you do not love God, but because consistency is hard when no one is around to hold you accountable.
But this is the point where real growth happens. When you can:
– Set boundaries without needing applause.
– Guard your emotional space even when loneliness shows up.
– Stay sexually pure, not because you’re scared, but because you respect who you’re becoming.
– Manage your time like it matters, because your purpose actually does.
That kind of discipline? It builds a spiritual backbone.
Daniel didn’t wait until he had power or influence to start being disciplined. He started when no one knew his name. As singles, this season is not just about “surviving until someone shows up.” It is a season for building habits, mindset, and structure that will carry into every future season.
If you only live well when someone is watching, then you are not really rooted. But when you can lead yourself without pressure, that is maturity. That is spiritual strength.
And honestly, that is what makes you ready, not just for a relationship, but for the bigger responsibilities and challenges ahead.
The position of a man plays a crucial role in his destiny. Many things we pray about that seem delayed are not necessarily being withheld by God. Rather, they require us to be in the right place to receive them.
Divine positioning is key to unlocking God’s promises. Without it, a person may struggle unnecessarily, even for the simplest things. In Genesis 12:1, God told Abram “Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee.”
God had great plans for Abram, but his current location limited those plans. The wonders and blessings God had in store for him could only manifest after he moved to the place God had ordained for him. Sometimes, a shift in location physically, spiritually, or even mentally is all that is needed for a breakthrough.
One can work tirelessly and still have nothing to show for it. At such moments, the question to ask is: Am I in the right place? The right place is not just about geography; it is about being in the center of God’s will.
When Jesus healed a blind man in Bethsaida, He first led him out of the town before performing the miracle. Could it be that the town was filled with unbelief? Could the atmosphere have hindered the man’s faith and delayed his healing? Jesus knew that the right positioning was necessary for the man’s miracle.
What are you trusting God for? A new job? A spouse? A house? A business breakthrough? Sometimes, the key is not more effort or even more prayers but divine positioning.
Being divinely positioned means being aligned with God’s plan, will, and agenda. Outside of His plan, life becomes a struggle. But when we are where He wants us to be, grace flows effortlessly, doors open, and favor abounds.
Pray today, “Lord, position me in the right place, at the right time, for my destiny to be fulfilled.”
