And it is definitely not “if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
Love is work.
It’s showing up on days you’d rather check out.
It’s choosing to pray together when talking feels hard.
It’s saying “yes” to service when your body says “rest.”
Singles—don’t just pray for love, prepare for labour… prepare to work it out. Marriage is a responsibility, so you have to be responsible in order to do marriage well. Can you wake up daily and keep choosing one person? Can you plant seeds of kindness even when you’re not in the mood? Can you lose sight of yourself in order to care for another?
Couples—remember, butterflies don’t keep flying forever. You must build the love you have. Think of it as a garden. That therefore means planting, watering, and weeding. Keep planting new memories again and again. Keep pouring into your spouse’s emotional tank. Then water with patience and weed out bitterness and comparison.
Love does not thrive because feelings are always there, but because work never stops.
Let us not grow weary in DOING good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.Galatians 6:9
Don’t give up. Keep working. That’s how love lasts.
Some days, love feels like butterflies. Other days, it feels like a sacrifice. If you think godly love is just about how you feel, you’ll walk away the moment the feelings fade.
The truth is, love that lasts is not always powered by emotion; it’s powered by intention.
Feelings come and go. They rise and fall with mood, stress, seasons, and even hormones. But real love, the kind God talks about, is deeper than that. It shows up when it’s hard. It stays when it’s uncomfortable. It chooses even when it doesn’t feel like it.
1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t say love is a feeling. It says love is patient, kind, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Those aren’t emotions. They’re decisions. Daily decisions.
You won’t always “feel” in love, and that’s okay. What matters is what you do in those moments. Do you still choose to honor? To forgive? To pray for them? To show up? That’s godly love.
You see, culture tells us to follow our hearts. But God says to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). Feelings are unstable in everything, especially in relationships.
Even Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross. He prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39), but love made Him stay. Love made Him choose obedience. That’s what godly love looks like. It’s a decision to honor God even when it’s uncomfortable.
Commitment is the only virtue that will take you further than chemistry, so you won’t always wake up with butterflies. I encourage you to choose love, not just when it feels good, but when it reflects Christ.
The opposite will always attract in marriage. You fell in love with your spouse because he/she is different from you. This is so not to encourage disagreement but to bring a different viewpoint into your covenant relationship.
Your love should move from being emotional to being intentional. This is where commitment, maturity, and understanding come to play.
You don’t do marriage because of feelings, you do because of commitment and respect to God who instituted marriage
Emotional love is when you have butterflies in your belly. When your spouse is so nice, loving, caring and he/she is just dope. No faults. No flaws. Everything is just right about them.
But you move to a point of maturity when even though you don’t feel loving towards your spouse because of what they have done or what they have not done, you are intentional and committed to doing those things that keep the love alive.
You don’t kill the embers of the fire of love. You keep on servicing love. Serving and maintenance is an important part of anything we hold dear and anything of value to us that we use.
We maintain our cars, clean up and repair things in our houses so also we should be ready to service our marriage.
Just because things are broken in your car or house doesn’t mean you throw them away. You are committed to spending your money and time fixing whatever needs to be fixed.
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Remember, marriage is till death do us part. You are not going anywhere. You stick with it until you have a breakthrough.
Don’t wait till everything breaks downtown beyond repairs. Just like you don’t wait till your four tyres are flat before repairing and changing them
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus mighty name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am intentional about my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV)Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a logical conversation with your spouse
