I am devoting a lot of time on these love languages because it is a key element in having a fulfilling marriage. Once you understand your spouse’s love language and the God factor is involved in your marriage, at least, a large percentage of understanding yourselves and loving yourselves is guaranteed.
When you understand your wife’s love language and endeavor to speak it, half of the marital issues are solved.
When you love your wife the way she wants to be loved, you will see a new radiance on her. Then she will blossom, she will be more responsive, more cooperative and supportive. She will have more energy and her creative juice will be more alive.
She will be happy and the home will be more calm and peaceful. Your wife will be that joyful wife you have always dreamt she will be. There will be unity among you and you will be able to fulfill God’s mandate of one chasing one hundred and two of you chasing ten thousand.
The 5 love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time and Attention
Acts of Service
Gifts
Physical touch
Let’s look at another love language today.
3. Acts of Service This is a beautiful way of showing that you care and love your wife. But don’t try to speak this love language if this is not your wife’s love language. A wife may get irritated at your wanting to help her do her “duties”.
A wife may frown at the idea of her husband coming to the kitchen or cooking dinner. She may even put up a fight, saying that her husband thinks she is a lazy brat that cannot cook. She may even say her husband thinks her food is not sweet.
Any woman that feels that way, definitely her love language is not acts of service or maybe she prefers the acts of service in another way. You will know it is your wife’s love language when she demands that you help her do stuffs.
She will always call on you to help her do things, unlike the wife who has all the energy and will do everything so that even if you want to help, there is nothing to help with.
You communicate love to a wife whose love language is acts of service by doing things for her. You help her with dishes, the kids, laundry, throwing the trash, cleaning the house, cooking, packing her clothes and everything that she needs help for.
Here, the husband must enjoy helping her before she can sense love. If you are too busy, you have to employ people that can help her out. In her frustration, she may cry out that she is slaving herself for you.
Some wives are satisfied when you do things for them. They don’t even want gifts as such. Once you are doing things for her, she’s okay.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am becoming a loving husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, teach me to understand my wife.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pay attention to loving your wife
We startedyesterday talking about how important it is for you to speak your wife’s language. I also stated that language here means your wife’s love language.
If you didn’t read yesterday’s post, I will implore you to go ahead and read it.
There are five basic love languages which are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time and Attention 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical Touch
We have looked at Words of affirmation. Let’s continue from where I stopped yesterday.
2. Quality time and Attention It is good to know that basically, it is the responsibility of the husband to learn his wife’s love language. It is God’s order in a marriage that the husband loves his wife while the wife respects and honors her husband.
It is not a case of “my wife is too demanding, she always wants me to speak her love language while she doesn’t attempt to speak mine.” Husbands must concentrate on loving your wife.
Quality time as it suggests means spending quality time with her. Here, quality time could mean different things to different women. To some, it could mean spending time with her when she is in the kitchen cooking, it could mean going on vacation together, having weekend trips, going to the movies, shopping, just spend time with her.
It means you are spending time and giving her attention. You let her know your plans, your whereabouts, investments, meetings, friends, and everything. You don’t keep secrets.
Your wife may be crying for your attention and you are busy working yourself out to stupor trying to provide for the family. She will not sense your love until you slow down and spend some time with her.
If you are a busy husband, schedule time consciously to be together. We had to plan that into our marriage. Call it me and you time. Let nothing interrupt this time. You may need to switch off your phone or do a get-away for two.
It doesn’t have to be expensive or far. If the children are still young, find a friend’s place you can keep them for a few hours to just go. Your wife will appreciate you more for your effort.
Many quarrels go on in marriage because we don’t know where to focus our resources and energy. Once you discover your wife’s love language, go ahead and start speaking it and improve on speaking it.
Your wife may be throwing tantrums just because she doesn’t feel your love. She feels your love when you speak her love language. She will adore you and respect you the moment she can sense your love.
Try and pay attention to her and seek to find out her love language. What does your wife complain about all the time? It is a clue to what her love language is. You may have to try different things before you finally discover which one it is.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have wisdom for my marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
Today, I wantto encourage us to keep on asking, keep on seeking and keep on knocking. Help is on the way, Help is closer than you think. Don’t give up on your spouse, don’t give up on your children. Help is on the way
Matt 7:9 says, ‘Ask and keep on asking and it shall be given you; seek and keep on seeking and you shall find, knock and keep on knocking and the door shall be opened to you’.
Keep on asking, seeking and knocking on a continual basis day in day out 365 days a year, so that we may keep receiving what we need.
How long do we stay awake all night wrestling with our issues and losing our sleep? Instead of simply casting our cares upon Him by asking Him and trusting Him.
Maybe your spouse has a weakness and you have talked to him/her about it for a long time and he doesn’t seem to listen.
Maybe your spouse even agrees to change but finds it difficult to change. Your children are wayward and they seem impossible.
You are having a difficult time maintaining a close, godly relationship with them. Just don’t give up or maintain the status quo.
You must know how to stay with what you want. Jesus already promised in His word that (Luke 11:13) …how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him”.
God wants us to trust Him with our request. He wants to see how much we trust Him and how much we can stay on what we want without shifting grounds.
You have to keep asking till your marriage becomes what you want it to be. You have to keep on knocking until your children become what they should be.
Never give up on God and this goes for everything. Never give up until you are rich, until you have your children, until you get that job.
God is committed until it is completed.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not give up
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord make right everything wrong in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 128:2 (KJV) For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
In today’s devotional, I’d be speaking mainly to our women, but men can still learn a thing or two from this. We’re looking at how you can influence your husband as a wife. A woman isso influential- that her role or her absence in a man’s life can be easily felt. Have you ever thought of why most men will eventually remarry after their wife dies? No matter how much he claims to love his wife. Even if he stays without remarrying for a long time or mourns her for a long period of time. He will still eventually get married.
For the women, it is not so. Usually, a woman will stay unmarried after her husband dies. The men will always have one excuse or the other, who will help take care of the kids? But even if the kids are all grown up they still remarry. They would say, who will they talk with? The truth is that a man cannot do without Jeru trip for long. He needs that release for him to be okay and complete.
So if a wife is that important to a man’s life, let wives use their influence well. Don’t let us just reduce it to the other room, taking care of the children and the kitchen. As a wife, you can use that power to positively challenge your husband to move the family forward.
Here are some areas that a woman can influence her husband positively;
1. A wife can encourage her husband to be more spiritual. It is known that women are more spiritual than men, at least they have a heart for God. A woman can encourage him for bible reading, daily devotions, and prayer time.
2. A wife can encourage her husband to go to church.
3. A wife can influence her husband to be committed in God’s house and serve God.
4. A wife can encourage her husband to make financial investments.
5. A wife can influence her husband to build a house and start a business.
6. A wife can encourage her husband to be a nice person.
7. A wife can influence her husband to live healthily and have a healthy lifestyle.
8. A wife can encourage her husband to treat in-laws and family members rightly.
9. A wife can influence her husband to get better at what she knows he can do. e.g get a better education, study a course, pass his exams.
10. A wife can encourage her husband to start something innovative and develop his dreams, talents, aspirations, achieve his goals and start something altogether new.
There is no end to the influence of a woman. Women have been known to influence kings, defeat nations and do near-impossible feats.
God gave you the power to influence. Find out what it is that your husband is called to do and influence him positively. Influence him to be the best in his field of endeavor. Be known for something and let it be a positive influence.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a positive influence on my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a positive influence on my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A woman shall compass a man
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to deploy your power of influence.
This morning we’ll be looking at the topic “This is what your husband wants from you”
If youthink anticipating Jeru trip with your spouse is a sin, then you are holier than God. When a man craves, longs anticipates, imagines, and sends SMS to his wife for the eventual Jeru trip later in the night, there is nothing wrong with that.
Religion may tell you that it is wrong. And then this need of the man becomes suppressed and then finds himself in some sexual sin with another.
You see, marriage does not address the lust problem. After you are married, these Jeru trip feelings will not go. You will see other ladies that are still beautiful, and you will still be barraged in your mind about exploring.
If you lack self-control; you will still find yourself messing around with other ladies. That is the quickest way to ruining yourself and your family.
So, what God does is to train you and to teach you how to put your body under. He trains you how to say “No” to compromise.
That is how to live long. That is how to preserve your family. That is how to please God. And this is why he tells you, don’t do it before marriage.
But in marriage, He says, don’t deny each other. What is unavailable to you as a single becomes always available after marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be faithful to my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:37 (KJV) Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study agreement in the scripture. Use a concordance
