Be committed to the things of God. Don’t be so busy with your career or family life that you abandon your purpose and the assignment for which God created you. Make sure you pursue your purpose because that is where true riches and fulfillment lie.
5. Love or lust?
Be selfless! That is how your marriage will last. Let the love of God propel you in all you do. Let the love of God be shed abroad in your heart. Love her truly. Respect him indeed. That is the blueprint that keeps divorce away!
Respect means a lot to a man while love means a lot to a woman. Rather than go back and forth on who is right or wrong, go ahead with agape love, unconditional love and you will keep your home together.
6. Space and Forgiveness
Forgive easily. It is the way to go if you want your marriage to last. Practice advance forgiveness. Never hold your spouse in bitterness. Men, be patient with your spouse and make sure you love her genuinely.
Women, do not close up your spirit against your husband to a point you now live like strangers in your matrimonial home. Those are dangerous precursors to divorce!
7. Mentors
Adulterous relationships and extra-marital relationships are rooted in secrecy. The moment you can hide something from your spouse, you have planted a seed for chaos. Be open with each other. It kills the power of infidelity.
Learn to have a joint mentor who you trust, whom you can report yourselves to that will help you sort out issues that are beyond you. Take issues as they come and don’t store up hurts.
God will help you and give you grace in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 2:10-12 KJV When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
Spend time together. Never allow jobs, people, or any other thing to take this away from you. Learn to pray together every morning. This morning, I held my spouse in my arms, and we prayed together before I got up from the bed. You are able to maximize your time when you put God first place in your marriage.
2. Transition
Transition is defined in three ways:
a. the act of passing from one state or place to the next
b. an event that results in transformation
c. a change from one place or state or subject or stage to another
There will be transition times in your lives, when either spouse travels away for some time or when you get to a new place. Be careful with developing emotional affairs simply because your spouse is not around.
This can easily lead to adulterous relationships and this can further lead to separation and divorce since God’s injunctions that protect you have been violated. If you are already in one, it is not too late to stop it and ask God to help you!
3. Unequal yoke
Be wary of developing associations with friends who don’t know God or colleagues who don’t value the things of God. They can sow the wrong seed of words into your marriage and before you know it, you are already following their advice which is contrary to the ways of God.
Never discuss your spouse or family issues with colleagues. It can trap you and push you to the edge of confusion. I pray for you this morning that God will frustrate every counsel of Ahitofel in Jesus name!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things; -Proverbs 2:10-12 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
I have been married for over 20 years and I can categorically tell you, love is not blind at all.
Love is a serious business, that you engage in with all your five senses intact and even the sixth one.
Sometimes ago, I was revisiting the marriage vows taken from a wedding I attended. I thought to myself, most people taking these vows don’t understand half of what they are saying. Then I felt like the wedding day sermon should be spent on explaining a little about the vows.
Many couples spend most of their time together praying. Is it that prayers or praying together is not good? Absolutely, it is 100% good.
Many other couples spend most of their time talking. Is it that talking is not good, (depending on what they are talking about). Absolutely, good.
Marriage is both spiritual and physical, so we have to take care of the spiritual aspect as well as the physical aspect. Talking to God will handle the spiritual aspect while talking together about issues will handle the physical aspect.
We cannot enjoy the marriage and maximize our full marital potential by engaging in one at the expense of another. We have to pray as though our marriage depended on our prayers and we also have to talk as though our marriage depended on it.
When I mean talk, I mean talk to yourselves, not about something or someone. All most couples do is talk about events, news, something or someone, they hardly talk about themselves. They simply gossip and that is all they do.
Most of your time together must be spent on talking about yourselves, leave the remaining to talk about other events or issues.
Love is no longer blind. Some of us had loose ends before marriage that has left us as prey to the enemy. We should not be afraid to talk and trash out issues after all, we get to know ourselves by asking and answering questions.
There has to be a balance between praying and talking. No matter how long you have been married, we should go back to asking ourselves pertinent questions, and write our discussions down. At least God wrote down His thoughts.
These serves as our projections, our values, our commitment. We get to know and understand each other’s expectations.
One of the major causes of problems in marriage is unmet expectations. We have expectations our spouse didn’t even know anything about. They are not aware of those expectations not to talk of meeting them.
Talk, ask questions. What are your expectations in marriage? What do you want from me? Were you in cult when you were in school? What is your vision in life? What do we do to avoid divorce? What do we do to have a blissful marriage? What can I do that you will never forgive me? And so many questions.
Keep asking questions and talking all through your marriage. Your words together coupled with your prayers are knitting your hearts together until the Twain became one flesh, and nothing will be able to put you asunder.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes of understanding are open.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
Women get easily hurt. And the husbands may not even be aware that they are hurt because their needs are miles apart.
Those are the times a husband asks his wife, “what is wrong?” She simply answers “Nothing!”
She says nothing because she doesn’t feel good explaining that something so little gets her upset.
Or she knows if she tries to explain, the husband might end up making her look like an idiot. So she keeps quiet.
What are examples of those little things that could upset your wife?
1. Don’t do things that make her uncomfortable sexually. Don’t embarrass her and don’t compare her with some past escapades.
2. Don’t ignore her when it comes to making important of financial decisions. Don’t leave her in the dark, keeping her guessing all the time.
3. Don’t compare her with others especially when it has to do with her appearance, weight or hairdo. Don’t go out of your way to appreciate and dote on other women while you completely ignore her.
4. Don’t do things that you have disallowed her from doing, making her feel like a little child who cannot think for herself.
5. Don’t ignore her when she is emotionally down or physically tired. Don’t say things like, “I am tired of you. When you get out of your nasty moods, let me know!”
6. Don’t hug and embrace other ladies endlessly while you don’t even hold her hands in public. Go out of your way and offer some PDA! Public Display of Affection!
7. Don’t leave her alone to do all the house chores while still expecting her to be an amazon in bed later in the night. That would be insensitive.
8. Don’t watch football all day and all night while refusing to let her watch her favorite programs. Don’t make her look like an idiot for her preference of programs. Join her to watch sometimes, and encourage her to join you as well.
9. Don’t forget or deliberately ignore her special days like birthdays and other anniversaries. Rather go out of your way to set notifications so that you can surprise her on those special days.
May God grant more understanding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am good spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bless our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 (KJV) Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Have you ever seen a Nollywood movie where the couple are close or seen a couple where the wife is so loving?
I am sure you also must have seen couples who just seem to be close but there is something that just doesn’t add up, they are in one way or another disconnected.
When there is a disconnect and you are sensitive, you just know it, you just pick it up and are able to discern it.
Either the wife is cheating or the husband is cheating or they are just not agreed. Well apart from both couples praying together, there are some practical things the wife can do to be a good wife. The kind of wife any husband will be proud to call his wife.
1. Be loyal to your husband 2. Make your husband and his affair matter to you 3. Seek to do whatever he likes and things that pleases him. 4. Be thoughtful of and about your husband. 5. Cook his meals, serve them yourselves and make it a special something 6. Be fun to be with every time 7. Be a defender of your spouse anytime and always 8. Be his cheerleader and make him feel good about himself always 9. Enjoy the company of your husband every time 10. Absolutely let your husband trust you 11. Be gist partners 12. Be his confidant and his companion 13. Be his prayer partner and a prayer warrior for him 14. Be his mum, wife, side chick and flirt with him 15. Be his collaborator, his manager and his covenant partner
You may not be these naturally but you can engage in the place of prayer. Be the specific things you want to see yourself become.
Be focused and decisive about what is it you want to see your self become. Let it be as your goal. Let it be SMART. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound.
The Lord will help us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
