There are several factors that could literally put an end to a marriage.
The first in the series of marriage killers we will be looking at is Home Invaders. I always counsel newly married couples – Don’t allow anybody to come and live with you when you are newly married, be it cousins, brothers, sisters, mother or father.
If you want to help your folk, and you should help them, you can make provision for them without necessarily their coming to stay with you. How I wish newly married couples can lend their ears to this wisdom.
This is because the newly wedded couple needs as much privacy as possible to be alone and to discover themselves. They don’t need any distractions in those foundational years, especially the first five years.
They need to focus on God and themselves. If a young couple can focus on God and themselves in the first few years, they would have established a solid foundation that will withstand any marital storm or wind that may come.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. – Proverbs 5:18 (KJV)
They don’t need anything that might trigger inhibitions in their sexual life. They don’t need anybody to complain about the wife’s inability to cook well or the husband’s uncaring attitude.
Two is a good company, three is a crowd. They don’t need somebody to critique the stew and how the meat didn’t collide well with the catfish.
The young wife needs to focus her love and respect on her husband and she does not need all the additional emotional upheavals and pressures that are often engendered when she has a lot of people to attend to.
They should be left alone to discover themselves. They should be free to walk around their house naked, play together, jump on themselves and have a lot of fun together.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom to fulfill my role in my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage and fill me with the Spirit of wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the suggestions above
In preparing for a successful marriage, money is not the most important thing.
Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold. – Pro 8:10 KJV
When you have instruction, money will eventually come.
Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life. – Pro 4:13 KJV
Another translation says:
Hold tight to good advice; don’t relax your grip. Guard it well–your life is at stake! – Pro 4:13 MSG
Dear couples to be, hold on tight to wisdom, because your marriage is at stake.
Dear wife to be, beauty is not the only thing you need. Beauty without gumption is ugliness! Sound practical knowledge is essential.
As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. – Pro 11:22 KJV
Message translation says
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head. – Pro 11:22 MSG
Now that you are still single, keep on developing yourself. The Bible says ‘he that findeth a wife…’ Not he that findeth a sister or babe! He that finds a wife!
How do you become a wife without being asked out? By developing yourself and knowing what it takes to be a wife. A wife material is what every man is looking for.
Dear husband to be, you will eventually become the head of the house and give direction to your wife and ultimately your children. Are you ready? Are you currently learning? Are you ready to give the necessary and right leadership not only to your future wife but to your future children as well?
There is no special anointing that comes on you on your wedding day…but you have a whole life on your hands from that day! Keep at self-development.
I pray for you this morning, that the heavens be opened over you and that every door that seem closed, may it open this day of its own accord in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I keep at self development. I search for knowledge daily
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a heart that pants after your word daily.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 13:18 KJV Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honoured.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to build a Marriage library. Get books and materials on marriage and learn as much as you can.
Husbands, are you hurting your wife? Do you care for her emotional well-being? Or are you just focusing on what gives you fulfillment which is your job?
Do you leave your wife lonely, vulnerable and unhappy? Are you really concerned about her as a person or you just want her to be well behaved so you can have some peace and concentrate more on your job?
Do you really love her, cherish, appreciate adore and affirm your wife or you are too busy for that? Do you understand her inner struggles, unfulfilled aspirations, dreams and depression triggers?
Are you secretly cheating on her thinking that nobody will discover? Do you know that the scripture says one day will come when your sin will find you out? Even if you run to UK or USA, the ‘sin’ will collect visa too and will appear like James Bond!
Remember God has a marking scheme, and the marking scheme says, ‘Husbands, love your wife.’
Wives, are you submitted to your husband’s desires? Do you respect him even when his decisions seem hard to follow? Do you go your own way while you leave him to go his own ways? Do you spend ‘your own’ money the way you want without having the attitude that it is ‘our money?’
Are you really a loving couple or strange bed fellows? Do you seek to appreciate him? Do you make yourself available as a suitable help, adaptable to him or you are busy and consumed with just your own self?
Are you selfishly drawing or demanding attention for self without being selfless? Do you realize deep down in your mind that you can deceive somebody for a long time, but you cannot fool God for a second? That is why the scripture says God is not mocked!
Remember that if you fail in your marital assignment, you have failed in a major area of your life and destiny. But when we do fail, His mercy covers for us and he helps us in our weaknesses. He turns our failures into glory.
Thank God for grace, because God is a God of second chance. While grace is not a license for habitual sins, grace will embrace you if you make a mistake. He teaches and trains us while on the assignment. He gives us several tutorials and allows the Holy Spirit to show us some of the questions in the examination. He allows the Holy Spirit to enter the examination hall with us and help us out! What a God!
If you find yourself floundering in any areas, you have a father who will always embrace you and help you. Turn to Him and talk to Him. He has listening ears and He will not condemn you. He will rather embrace you in His everlasting and loving arms and turn your life and home around.
I pray that God will give you more wisdom in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will make a success of my marital assignment. I will love my wife. I will be submissive to my husband.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let every crisis area in my marital assignment receive healing in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 (AMP) However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask your wife how you can love her better. Ask your husband in what ways you can be the wife of his dreams.
I am very persuaded that when you are not living right and following God’s principles, there are a lot of things you are missing and then you make yourself vulnerable to the antics of the devil.
I can prove this to you from the scriptures and from several experiences my ears have scraped from phone calls from every continent on this earth! It is the same everywhere, tales of regrets the moment compromise has been entertained.
You see, the devil knows you are a child of God. He knows you want to make heaven. He cannot access your life until you allow him. You allow him the moment you buy into his suggestions, temptations and traps.
He sets specific traps that are unique to your weakness. And this is what you must realize! Before someone starts winking at you for extra-marital affair, the devil ensures you have been fighting your spouse thereby making you vulnerable!
Everything that happens is of spiritual significance! Nothing just happens! Before you take that action, ask yourself, is this moving me towards God or away from God? There is no middle ground!
But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. –Ephesians 5:33 (GNB)
When you were single, you were at the preparation stage, but now that you are married, you are at the performance stage of your married life. You are at the center stage and heaven’s spotlight is on you.
Your performance in marriage will either allow you to be marked right or wrong. God gave you the marital assignment and He is going to mark your script.
Dear husband and wife, it is not what you feel or think is right that you do that will earn you a pass mark in your marital assignment but what God requires according to His marking scheme (the Bible).
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will make a success of my marital assignment. I will love my wife. I will be submissive to my husband.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let every crisis area in my marital assignment receive healing in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. –Ephesians 5:33 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask your wife how you can love her better. Ask your husband in what ways you can be the wife of his dreams.
…And Judah turned unto her by the way and said, go to, I pray you, let me come in unto you: And she said what will you GIVE me, that you may come in unto me? And he said what pledge shall I give you? And she said, your SIGNET, and your BRACELETS and your STAFF that is in your hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him. –Genesis 38:16, 18 (KJV)
This scripture shows that Judah made a certain exchange to have sex with this woman. He exchanged his Signet, Bracelets, and staff.
Signet: which signifies your AUTHORITY
Bracelets: which is your BEAUTY
Your Staff: represent STABILITY
Many people do not realize that at every compromise there is always an exchange. There is a lot of significance to the things he exchanged; apparently, he didn’t see it that way. Just like most people do not consider the things they give out at every compromise, for every sexual escapade either as a man/woman, you lose something.
You lose those three things each time you compromise in adultery or any other form of sexual perversion.
Every time you had a quickie that is misplaced, every time you thought you were having fun, every time you thought you were cheating on your spouse, some part of you actually die.
Let’s look at some of those words:
What PLEDGE shall I give you..?
The Hebrew word is ‘Arabon’ taken from a root word that means ‘in the sense of exchange.’
So it was actually an exchange! It was a transaction.
I pray you will not exchange your destiny because of lust! Esau exchanged his destiny over a plate of porridge and the Bible says he sought for it with tears later. We are advised not to be a fornicator, and a profane person like Esau was.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have grace, wisdom, and diligence to build my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I resist every hindrance to my success in my assignment.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So Jotham became mighty because he prepared his ways before the LORD his God. -2Chronicles 27:6 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all your attitudes, positive and negative. Find ways to improve on your good attitudes and eliminate the bad ones.
