Before we can talk of keeping love ablaze we have to talk of couples living true to their covenant responsibilities. First, we should know that our marriage has a certain mandate in the heart of God to fulfill.
And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. -Malachi 2:13-15 (MSG)
Let’s see how the scripture goes in the Amplified version.
Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. -Malachi 2:14 (AMPC)
This is an indication that God takes our marriage vows seriously.
Our marriage vows are not just some cute words spoken on our wedding day, it is a promise before God and then to our spouse.
It is this understanding that will help us to see the reason why love must be kept ablaze, it is a lifelong work. We have to keep at it, at good times and not-so-good times, if we don’t understand the covenant of marriage, we will struggle.
Finally, let me add this for women. Being your best means being a virtuous woman, protecting your husband by satisfying him always sexually, know that his vulnerability will increase and become more intense if you don’t. Refuse to cheat on him no matter what, come what may.
I pray God helps us all in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The wine in my marriage will not run dry, our love is rekindled and our hearts burn for each other.
PRAYER FIR THE DAY Lord, help me to keep my marriage covenant
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. -Malachi 2:14 (AMPC)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘one flesh’
It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. The value of friendship is known in hard and tough times. Nothing is as soothing as when a friend speaks to you in your down moments. When his or her words are like cold water to a thirsty soul.
If the effect of a friend could be that felt, how much more is the effect of a spouse? Of course, our spouse is supposed to be our best friend; who we are vulnerable with, with who we can share the joy and the privilege of being naked and not ashamed.
I think every spouse should ask themselves this question: “Am I a friend to my spouse?” Can your spouse confidently say, he/she can find a friend in you? Does your spouse find you easy to talk to?
Every spouse should ask these soul-searching questions and try to find answers to these questions.
It’s easy to point accusing fingers at your spouse, but are you also fulfilling your end? Quit playing the blame game and face reality, walk and work together to make a formidable team.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed? -Amos 3:3 (KJV)
Come in agreement with each other. Forgive every hurt and pain. Marriage is where we hurt deeply.
Some spouses are so hurt they vow never to forgive. If you have any knotty situations, talk things over with your mentors. Sometimes, the issues in marriage require the authority of someone higher than you, just a word, a prayer or a prophetic utterance can solve the issue.
Some people have destroyed their marriage because of staying on their viewpoint of being right. In marriage, it is not always about who is right or wrong, but our willingness to allow God’s purpose to be done.
Jesus our model didn’t insist on being right. He willingly suffered for us, the righteous for the unrighteous. He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us so we can be made sons of God.
The mandate on our marriage must be fulfilled. Let’s get over with all forms of bitterness, malice, and unforgiveness, these are toxic to our being best of friends with our spouses.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. –Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
This scripture is very profound. You must show yourself friendly to have your spouse as your friend.
The issue is some of us don’t even know to be friends; we must aim at being friends with our spouses. I believe the Holy Spirit, the spirit of truth and revelation will help us if we ask Him to.
Here are some ways to be friends with your spouse:
1. Maintaining the right attitude and positive disposition is important.
2. Kind words and loving words; every human being responds to love.
3. Believing the best of each other.
4. Being fun to be with.
5. Not pointing attention to the weak areas of your spouse.
6. Encouraging our spouse.
7. Avoiding criticism, accusation, and blaming.
8. Being very understanding.
These are a few tips for being there for your spouse.
God help us indeed.
May God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my spouse’s best friend, I am loving and kind towards him/her
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to keep my marriage covenant
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. –Proverbs 18:24 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘one flesh’
It is in marriage that all our bad attitudes show up. They show up bad that they give an offensive odour literarily, and guess what, your spouse won’t be able to stand it for too long.
Most of the things we can get by with as a single, we won’t be able to get by with them as married couples.
Remember, your mum used to tell you, you were lazy, and it didn’t matter as long as you were single.
Your friends told you, you were a snob. Your dad told you, you were too temperamental. Your boss told you, you were rude. Your roommate told you, you were too greedy.
All the weaknesses that show up and we get people to correct us about them, is God trying to correct our wrong attitudes.
These same wrong attitudes are what we carry into our marriages. These attitudes cause a lot of trouble. We expect our wives to cope with our negative attitudes, all in the name of being submissive and respectful. The wives should be submissive, but please don’t let us over-stretch ourselves.
Also, the wives complain about the husbands not loving them, but let’s say the truth. Is it easy to love a wife with negative attitudes? Let us make it easier for our spouses to submit to us and love us, as the case may be, and begin to correct any negative attitudes you notice in your life.
God corrects us because He does not want to leave us the same way we are. We have to yield to His corrections if we must live a better life.
For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. –Proverbs 3:12 (KJV)
And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? –Hebrews 12:5 -9 (KJV)
The Lord urges us to change our negative attitudes. Here are some bad attitudes that will not make our marriages work;
1. Lazy attitude
2. Unforgiving attitudes
3. Insincere attitudes
4. Selfish attitudes
5. Mean attitudes
6. Unpleasant attitudes
Work on these negative attitudes and the Lord will bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I work on my negative attitudes
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, help me, I receive grace to work on my negative attitudes
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will work on my negative attitude
THOUGHT OF THE DAY For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. –Proverbs 3:12 (KJV)
The original intention of God for our homes and marriages is that we are blessed by the Lord. God wants us to be abundantly blessed with the treasures of heaven and earth.
We are supposed to be blessed in the city, blessed in our going out, and coming in, blessed in the field, blessed in the fruits of our baby, blessed in the works of our hands, and blessed all around. The blessing is supposed to follow us and overtake us.
The blessing is supposed to be a gift to us as we stay in God’s purpose as His children who obey Him. These blessings don’t however come automatically. The devil will try and contend with the blessing God has already released to us.
He will want to negotiate us out of the blessing. All the devil is after is the blessing. He knows that he who has the blessing is blessed, and there is nothing he can do about it.
The contention over the blessing is real and that is where our intercession comes in.
And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; -Luke 18:1 (KJV)
Our intercession should be always at all times. We are pushing back the hands of the enemy and dislodging his arsenal, his works of wickedness to distract us from doing God’s will. We have to keep the door shut against the devil who is always tempting us with sins.
We need to keep the door shut on our flesh. The flesh ultimately is enmity against God and all that is God in our lives.
Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. –Roman 8:7 (KJV)
Husbands and wives are solely responsible to take up their cross daily and follow Jesus and take the opportunity of the help of the Holy Spirit in the place of prayers.
Likewise, the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. -Romans 8:26 (KJV)
As we begin to engage in the place of prayer we enforce our victory and the blessing that belongs to us rightly becomes our experience.
We don’t have to live below the blessing. It becomes an aberration if we as children of God are anything but blessed. We are the carriers of the blessing, the covenant people, God’s own blood purchase children.
I pray as we take what’s rightfully ours in the place of prayer God will grant us victory and we will experience the blessing in our homes and marriages in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am blessed, I cannot be cursed. I step into my calling as an intercessor
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, in Jesus name I ask for the grace to be fervent in prayer.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. -Romans 8:26 (KJV)
4. Attach Pain To The Experience Of Having An Affair
Until an affair is associated with pain in the mind and the brain, a thorough work is not done. The erring couple must have several quiet moments of self-talk and deep ruminating of the issue. That’s why depending on the situation, the erring spouse must be left alone to have some sober reflections.
These sober reflections are necessary for certain positive conclusion to be made. Also, a lot of prayers are needed in this period. The support of the other spouse is also needed by not criticizing, nagging and not showing rage or irritability.
A lot of love, emotional support, care and reassuring words should be given to the erring spouse at such times as this.
A spouse should come out of this ordeal stronger, better and bigger, ready to help those on the same predicament. That’s the way God organized things in the kingdom. What you have overcome, you have the Grace to help set others free from.
5. Change The Environment
It might be necessary to change that environment where the affair happened. However, this may not always be possible. If you can’t change your environment, you can at least change what you do within that compromising environment.
If you have lunch breaks together alone with a particular lady, you have to change this. Note that an affair is not necessarily sexual, it could be an emotional affair. Don’t be deceived, an emotional affair is as serious as a sexual affair, in the sight of God, they are the same.
But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. –Matthew 5:28 (NLT)
6. Make Sure You Don’t Play The Blame Game.
What has happened has happened. Don’t cry over spilt milk, don’t wallow in self-pity. That is the devil’s domain; you don’t want to cooperate with the devil to make your freedom difficult. You must embrace Gods free gift of forgiveness and obey all His principles. Don’t go to the extreme of condemning yourself.
David committed adultery and murder, yet God called him a man after his own heart. God restored him, and he was one of the most famous kings on earth.
Don’t doubt Gods love, when He says He has forgiven you, He means exactly that. Embrace His love and His forgiveness.
I believe you have found these steps helpful. May God enlighten our darkness in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed and fruitful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for the grace to be a good spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I bless GOD every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise. –Psalms 34:1 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to practice
