Expecting your spouse to change overnight will leave you heavily disappointed. It is entirely different if either spouse is an unbeliever; change in that sense is possible and can be anytime.
But when we talk about habits, attitudes, and behavioral patterns it can take a while.
Take note of these few points:
1. Patience
You will need to exercise patience! It takes a while. Let’s assume your spouse was twenty-five years old by the time you got married. It means that he or she has been formed into a certain mold for twenty-five years. Coming into marriage and expecting a quick change because you sermonized or lectured him or her will not make a change in a few days, expecting a quick change, may leave you disappointed.
Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud… -1Corinthians 13:4 (CEV)
I think in marriages, you always get to understand that virtue called “long-suffering!”
2. Don’t Lecture Or Sermonize
Your lectures and long talks do nothing at the end of the day; it only turns you into a nag, a domineering spouse, and an impatient spouse.
Between a husband and a wife, one will talk more than the other; don’t ever make the mistake of thinking your ability to package words is effective on your spouse.
It is even much more annoying and irritatingly hilarious if your spouse is a phlegmatic who doesn’t want trouble; he or she will allow you to talk and talk, and then will promise you there is change, only so that you can stop talking!
Only to do the very thing you’ve been talking about again!
You feel like escaping from the marriage, but sorry, you are hooked already!
Trust God that things will get better.
3. Pray Rather Than Talk And Talk
Your most effective and sure way to create any change is to pray. Take it to God and stop wearing yourself out.
Try and think about it, you’ve been complaining about something for seven years, yet no change! and you keep complaining!
Don’t you think in seven years, your spouse has disconnected himself or herself from your complaints?
He or she has mastered the art of closing the gate of his heart; you are only talking to the ears!
It does nothing and it would do nothing!
Pray about it!
4. Get Back Into Dating Mode
You used to love yourselves! You used to overlook and ignore some things you are bitterly complaining about now. What happened?
You need to get back into that romantic mode and love each other again rather than thinking your spouse is the problem of your family!
Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. -1Corinthians 13:7 (CEV)
Be supportive, be hopeful, and trust again. Cast your cares unto Jesus and stop focusing on the flaws of your spouse.
Get back into appreciating him or her in their area of strength.
I pray that God will help you need and send the very help you need in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to love my spouse again
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, and never gives up. -1Corinthians 13:7 (GW)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read Myles Munroe’s book on the Myth of Singleness
Women can completely relate to the art of cooking, it’s a beautiful art that requires focus and mastery. When you want to eat a meal, it doesn’t just appear by merely desiring it, or just thinking about it.
It takes a lot of deliberateness to cook a nice and tasty meal. For food to be prepared a lot of things have to come together; these things are called ingredients.
Spice, proteins, vegetables, you name it. These things have to come together before you can have a meal, and depending on what you decide to combine, it results in the aroma, taste, and outlook of your end product.
Just like cooking is an art, marriage is also an art; the only difference is you can’t master it because every day is different.
But certainly, there are principles (ingredients) you can use to address every issue, to get certain results, regardless of whether it’s the same scenario or not.
Love is a major ingredient in marriage; it’s not just the feeling of butterflies or Goosebumps. Even those that have been married for a short while will agree with me that you don’t feel butterflies in your belly all the time.
What exactly is this ingredient called Love? Let us see what the bible says.
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies. -1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (MSG)
As husband and wife, the greatest good you can do for yourselves is to love each other passionately, love yourself from the depths of your heart and really mean it.
Let love be without dissimulation.
I love the way that The Message Translation puts it.
Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. –Romans 12:9a (MSG)
Don’t fake love for each other; let your love be genuine, genuine love can be felt, and it will also reflect in every area.
Pray for one another’s weaknesses; take every anxiety and fear to God in the place of prayers. As you begin to do this, you will receive the strength to love your spouse appropriately and passionately.
So shall it be in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my spouse unconditionally
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, send your help into our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. –Proverbs 14:29 (KJV)
Dear couple, today I want to show you a powerful weapon that works all the time. Regardless of whatever season you are in your life or marriage, this weapon is a formidable one.
Now therefore, our God, we thank thee, and praise thy glorious name. -1Chronicles 29:13 (KJV)
There is one thing that the enemy cannot resist; it is the power of praise, when you learn to praise God all your enemies fall down at your feet.
No matter what the problem or situation is praise is a way out, when you praise, worship, and give thanksgiving to God, the enemy is confused, and there is confusion in the enemy’s camp.
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. -1Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)
The devil hates joyful songs; he hates songs of adoration and thanksgiving to God, it gets him confused; he knows his strategy is not working, and his weaponry is not working.
His weapons won’t work because you are focused on something stronger, and better. you can’t be distracted, you are engaging the help of a God that consumes by fire.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.” -Hebrews 12:28-29 (NIV)
Praise God all alone when it looks like the situation is not working when it looks like things are going awry when it looks like the children are wayward.
Praise God when the finances don’t seem to be flowing, praise him into your breakthrough, and you will surely rejoice!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will praise my God at all times, in every situation, and in every season
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to praise always
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Now, therefore, our God, we thank thee and praise thy glorious name. -1Chronicles 29:13 (KJV)
Dear couples in the house, it’s time to pray. If anyone asks you what time it is, tell them “it’s time to pray”.
It’s not time to play, sit, worry, think about the problem, complain about the situation, wish things were better, grumble at your maker, it is time to PRAY.
You’ve got to decide that this time, it is either you break through or you break through.
I am tired of where I am. I am tired of the status quo. I am tired of business as usual. I am tired of nothing much happening in my life. I am tired of “just being there”.
You’ve got to get to a point where you are no longer satisfied, a point where whatever is keeping you down-trodden must give way.
Whether it is a generational curse or something, it is time to get tired of it. Until you stop romancing your situation, don’t expect a change.
There are some things you have to break free from, some dangerous habits. Some things that are not making you move forward, some weights that keep drowning and pulling you back.
Some ungodly relationships you have to pull back from, some quarrels that are from the pit of hell, habits that only you know about.
You have to ask God to open the eyes of your understanding. You have to be ruthless with yourself. Whatever is not making you prosper or breakthrough, you have to address it in prayer. You must be ready to stick it out with God. God must know that “it is either He delivers you or He delivers you”.
This time I want you to make a quality decision. It is your time, and no one will take it from you. Make up your mind; decide to settle all that needs to be settled with God.
God said He will do a new thing.
I am believing Him not only for a new thing but for a new me; to be changed by the power of the most high God, to experience his Grace and His Mercy.
Set time out, a time set aside to wait on and for God, a time for God to break through in our homes, over our children.
All family issues will be dissolved during this time of prayer. All lineage issues will be broken. You will emerge. You will thrive. You will break through. God will decorate you with productivity in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Peace surrounds my home
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to see the peace you have surrounded me with
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth––even those long ago dead and buried––will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ. –Philippians 2:9-10 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Meditate on “the benevolence of God”
Before we can talk of keeping love ablaze we have to talk of couples living true to their covenant responsibilities. First, we should know that our marriage has a certain mandate in the heart of God to fulfill.
And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. -Malachi 2:13-15 (MSG)
Let’s see how the scripture goes in the Amplified version.
Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. -Malachi 2:14 (AMPC)
This is an indication that God takes our marriage vows seriously.
Our marriage vows are not just some cute words spoken on our wedding day, it is a promise before God and then to our spouse.
It is this understanding that will help us to see the reason why love must be kept ablaze, it is a lifelong work. We have to keep at it, at good times and not-so-good times, if we don’t understand the covenant of marriage, we will struggle.
Finally, let me add this for women. Being your best means being a virtuous woman, protecting your husband by satisfying him always sexually, know that his vulnerability will increase and become more intense if you don’t. Refuse to cheat on him no matter what, come what may.
I pray God helps us all in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The wine in my marriage will not run dry, our love is rekindled and our hearts burn for each other.
PRAYER FIR THE DAY Lord, help me to keep my marriage covenant
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. -Malachi 2:14 (AMPC)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘one flesh’
