Good morning dear one! So, you’re still flying solo, and it’s awesome. But ever wondered what all those people in married life are experiencing and learning? Well, here is a little insight into what marriage teaches you that might just leave you amazed.
1. Love Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s an Action Movie
Yes, you must have heard about love. And you probably think you know pretty much about the subject… But in marriage, it’s like the action edition packed.
You don’t just say, “I love you” when everything is cool. You show it when things are going real and getting hot!
Ephesians 5:25 talks of loving as Christ loved the Church. That is hard-core, love in action, not when it feels right, but especially when it is painful and you don’t feel like it!
2. Forgiveness: A Compulsory Course You Can’t Carry Over!
Harboring grudges? That is not part of a good habit! Married people learn super quick that forgiveness isn’t just being nice; it’s pretty much a must. Marriage is a union of two forgivers! As it says in Colossians 3:13, forgive as the Lord forgave you. It’s about dropping that baggage and moving forward, together. It’s relieving yourself from emotional prison.
3. Two Heads Are Better Than One
I am not talking about a two-headed monster. Have you ever tried to solve a problem with a friend rather than by yourself? It’s usually quite easier, right? That’s the deal with marriage: you’ve got a partner in crime (the good kind!). Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 nails it. Two can do way more. When one falls, there is somebody to lift him. That is a divine partnership!
4. Not Just The Moment
Marriage makes you think long-term, way past the latest trends, or your Instagram feed. It’s all about building something that lasts. Something of meaning. What married folk get to see, time and time again, are front rows of what matters: love, family, faith, and making a difference. It’s about the big picture, not just the flashy moments.
Marriage has its lessons, and being single comes with its lessons, too. Keep learning all you can learn as singles and couples. Never stop investing in your relationship and marriage! When family life collapses, it affects every other area! Invest in your relationship and marriage today!
I have a message from the Lord for anyone willing to believe in His word. I don’t know who you are or where you are, but you’re about to give up on your marriage. You feel tired and lack the strength to continue. In your relationship, despite God indicating that he or she is the right person for you, things seem to be faltering. Perhaps you’ve heard God’s guidance but are losing faith, wondering when circumstances will improve and when you will transition from scarcity to abundance.
I am here to proclaim God’s word to you: your relationship or marriage is not dead. This echoes the words of Jesus in the book of Luke, chapter 8.
Luke 8:51-53 KJV: [51] And when he came into the house, he allowed no one to enter except Peter, James, John, and the parents of the young girl. [52] Everyone mourned and wept for her, but he said, “Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.” [53] And they ridiculed him, knowing she was dead.
In this passage, we see Jesus summoned by Jairus to heal his dying daughter. It’s important to seek God’s presence when facing challenges. When Jesus was en route to Jairus’ home, a servant reported the girl’s death, questioning the need to trouble the Master further.
Yet, Jesus, the giver of life, declared, “Do not weep; she is not dead but sleeping.
The marriage causing you distress is not dead but sleeping, according to Jesus. He defines any situation as He sees fit. I do not advocate for separation or divorce, though it may be the best solution in some cases where the partners are unwilling to make the marriage work.
Jesus asserts that your marriage or relationship is not dead. Do not label as dead what Jesus calls sleeping. I recall a time when my fiance (now my husband) and I experienced a brief separation lasting about two hours due to an unresolved argument. He suggested we part ways, and we did, losing our peace in the process. However, we couldn’t end our relationship because Jesus declared, “Your relationship is not dead but sleeping.” Indeed, our relationship did not die; it merely slept for a few hours.
Jesus can intervene in your relationship and marriage. Trust in Him and His word, and you will testify that nothing perishes in Jesus’ hands.
This discusses delayed gratification, where you ‘pay’ now and ‘gain’ later as opposed to ‘gaining’ now to ‘pay’ later. This paradox is noteworthy, and we need to take note of it. It is always better to ‘pay’ now and ‘play’ later in our relationships and marriages.
I want to discuss 5 things this morning that we need to do now in our relationships and marriages that will yield great dividends for us later on. We must learn as individuals and as couples to delay gratification. One of the marks of maturity is when we learn to delay gratification.
Tonight is MASTERCLASS with singles and couples! Don’t miss it. Find details below. Invite others, and see the links to our Whatsapp groups below the page!
As Singles, engaging in premarital sex is tantamount to not knowing how to delay gratification. It’s better to invest a few years in getting to know yourselves before marriage and then spend all of your married lives enjoying sex together.
As a couple, we need to learn how to delay gratification when we feel like having an anger outburst or when we feel the need to express our emotions intensely. God doesn’t want us to yield to our flesh every time. He wants us to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. He wants the Holy Spirit to govern our moods, feelings, and actions. We are not to engage in tit for tat in our relationships and marriages.
Let’s now explore 5 areas where we can apply the Pain Paradox in our relationships and marriages.
Our spiritual life: From the time of finding the right person to marrying to living out our married life blissfully, we need to embrace the principle of the Pain Paradox. It makes a lot of sense if we take time out to discern God’s perfect will for us before entering into marriage.
We save ourselves a lot of heartache when we are sure we are on the same page with God on our marital journey. We can always turn to God for direction and guidance whenever we are in a dilemma. As married couples, it’s highly beneficial to prioritize walking with God because marriage cannot thrive outside of God.
Spend time getting to know and following God now, rather than using that time to pursue frivolities. Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Learn His principles now for your marriage, and you won’t have to deal with the pain of ignorance later. There is a time to sow and a time to reap. Sow now and reap later. Don’t sow now, and you won’t have anything to reap later.
Our Financial life: Finances are one of the greatest tools in relationships and marriage. The Bible says money answers all things. We need to plan our finances well. As Singles, you need to be financially intelligent. Don’t spend your hard-earned money proposing with a diamond ring when you are not even sure if she will eventually marry you.
Am I against a beautiful proposal? No. What I am saying is, can you afford such expenses when you don’t have any good investments? As couples, don’t live beyond your means. Going to fancy restaurants all the time when you can cook at home is not too wise.
Live by a budget. Let your finances be budgeted. Invest for a rainy day. Buy land or real estate. Invest now to reap the benefits later.
I will stop here today. I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
I particularly love this piece of advice. It is one of the classic words in Proverbs that remains evergreen for all men and women from all walks of life and for every young person. It is one of the Bible verses taught in most children’s churches so that we can learn early to trust in the Lord. God must be trusted; that’s why He is Lord.
Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you had it all figured out, only to be disappointed by the eventual outcome?
In relationships and our marriages, God’s word tells us not to lean on our own understanding. God knows that we have understanding, but we are not to depend on it. Let’s consider Proverbs 3:5:
Proverbs 3:5 GW [5] Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.
We are to trust in the Lord with all our hearts. That means it’s very possible not to trust in the Lord. It’s also possible to trust God with only part of our heart.
As singles, stop all the calculations. One plus one does not always equal two. God doesn’t want us to be disappointed every time before we learn to trust Him.
God is calling us to a beautiful relationship with Him. In choosing whom to marry, God wants to take the lead. Even when you are sure the person will agree to your proposal, God wants you to enjoy the pleasure of trusting Him. He wants to carry you until the process is completed. He wants to be your Daddy.
As married couples, this Bible verse becomes even more relevant. Several times, I have fallen flat on my face when I relied on my understanding with my husband. Sometimes, I predicted my husband’s reactions only to be disappointed. I have learned and am still learning to trust the Lord with all my heart and not rely on my understanding.
There are so many areas of my life where I can begin to practice trusting in the Lord. You too can begin to apply this Bible verse, whether when it comes to shopping for your household, childcare, your day-to-day activities at work, your decisions, your business, or your relationship with your spouse. You can’t rely on your understanding in dealing with your spouse because usually, we differ in temperament.
Our lives will become much easier when we learn in little things and big things to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not rely on our understanding.
A man or woman has so many areas of life, so many ‘ways’ if I may use that word. Are we going to talk about career, finance, marital life, academics, work, business, spirituality, emotions, and so on? There are so many ways!
How does one bring all these ways together? How does one ask God to take charge of all these ways especially relationship and marital aspects?
It is evident in the Holy Writ! Let’s take a look!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
In all your WAYS, ACKNOWLEDGE Him! The consequence of that is that He will direct all your paths!
Do you acknowledge God in all your ways? If you do, sit back and relax, He will unleash a system of divine direction for you and you will never be lost in the maze of life! You will never have to grope in the dark, murky path of marital endeavor as a result of experimenting with several lovers!
Let’s consider some other translations to bring more clarity.
Pro 3:6 (MSG) Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Wow! I love this one. Watch out for His voice in EVERYTHING you do and EVERYWHERE you go, and He is committed to keeping you on track!
You will not miss your track!
You know what I see here? God doesn’t want to be ignored!
How do you acknowledge God? Talk to Him about everything you do.
The height of foolishness is ignoring God! The Bible says expressly that;
Psa 14:1a (KJV) The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God…
One definition of a foolish man; he does His things as though there is no God!
Conversely, you will have the wisdom to rule in the affairs of this world when you learn to ACKNOWLEDGE God in ALL YOUR WAYS!
