Buddy and Stella: The Listening Couple

Buddy and Stella: The Listening Couple

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Buddy and Stella: The Listening Couple

Once upon a time, in a bustling city filled with bright lights and fast-paced lives, there lived a young couple named Buddy and Stella.

They were deeply in love and committed to building a relationship grounded in understanding and connection.

One evening, as they sat on the rooftop of their house, Stella shared her dreams and aspirations with Buddy. 

Instead of merely hearing her words, Buddy decided to listen truly. He put away his phone, looked into Stella’s eyes, and let her pour out her heart. He nodded, smiled, and used his body language to show he was fully present and engaged.

When Stella finished speaking, Buddy took a moment to gather his thoughts. He summarized and rephrased what she had shared, ensuring he understood her correctly. 

Stella’s face lit up with excitement. She felt truly seen and understood by Buddy’s active listening. It made her feel valued and cherished, knowing that he was genuinely interested in her passions and dreams.

They delved into conversations about life, faith, and their shared purpose. Questions like, “What impact do you hope to make in the world?” and “What are your wildest dreams and how can I support you in achieving them?” became the fuel for their connection.

In moments of vulnerability, they acknowledged each other’s emotions, just as Jesus did with compassion and understanding. 

When Buddy faced setbacks in his career, Stella listened without judgment, providing a safe space for him to express his frustrations. And when Stella experienced self-doubt in her emotions, Buddy offered unwavering support and reminded her of her inner strength! 

Most importantly, Buddy and Stella learned to avoid interruptions and assumptions. They realized that true understanding required patience and the willingness to hear each other out completely. They were quick to listen and slow to speak, just as the Scriptures advised.

Their love story continued to flourish as they embraced the art of radical listening. Their relationship became a haven of trust, where they could freely express themselves and find solace in the other’s understanding. 

They discovered that active listening was the key to unlocking a love that transcends generations—a love that speaks the language of the heart and nurtures the souls of both singles and couples.

And so, their love story continues to inspire others, reminding them of the power of radical listening. This power can ignite flames of love and understanding in the hearts of a generation yearning for authentic connection.

For Singles:

  1. Are you actively practicing radical listening in your friendships and potential romantic relationships? How can you incorporate the principles of active listening into your interactions?
  2. What are your deepest passions, dreams, and aspirations? How can you find someone who will truly listen and support you in pursuing those dreams?
  3. Reflecting on your past relationships, were there instances where active listening could have made a positive difference? How can you improve your listening skills in future relationships?

For Couples:

  1. How well do you currently practice active listening in your relationship? Are there areas where you can improve to foster deeper understanding and connection?
  2. What open-ended questions can you ask your partner to foster meaningful conversations and explore each other’s dreams and aspirations?
  3. How do you acknowledge and validate each other’s emotions in moments of vulnerability? Are there any specific ways you can enhance your empathy and support for each other?

For Singles and Couples:

  1. Reflecting on the story, what is one action you can take today to become a more active and empathetic listener in your relationships?
  2. How can you create intentional moments of undistracted listening with your partner or potential partner?
  3. Are there any assumptions or interruptions that you need to be more mindful of in your communication? How can you practice being quick to listen and slow to speak?

Good morning!




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Help for Abusive Relationships and Marriage

Help for Abusive Relationships and Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Help for Abusive Relationships and Marriage

Abuse in relationships and marriage is the most common cause of separation and divorce in marriage.

As Singles, you should watch out for signs of abuse and be courageous enough to take the necessary steps. 

First, let’s look at the meaning of abuse.

Abuse means treating a loved one or partner with violence, disrespect, cruelty, harm, or force. When someone treats their partner in any of these ways, it’s called an abusive relationship. Abuse in a relationship can be physical, sexual, verbal, financial, or emotional. Or it could be all of these.

In an abusive relationship or marriage, it takes a positive mindset and courage to confront the abuser. Having healthy self-esteem will also help to know that you are not to be abused but loved and cherished. No one should be a victim, whether male or female.

When a partner is showing signs of abuse it is not alright to ignore it. An abuser in relationships will be an abuser in marriage.

There are many reasons for being an abusive partner, a major cause is a dysfunctional background. Most people who abuse their partner have been abused and they usually have a deep-seated emotional issue or immaturity.

In an abusive marriage, the husband or wife has a power imbalance and uses manipulation, intimidation, threats, and physical or emotional violence to control the other.

Abuse in relationships and marriage is often characterized by extreme jealousy, possessiveness, and a lack of respect for the other partner’s boundaries. 

A lot of marriages go through abuse of various kinds and different degrees. When violence and physical abuse are involved, a professional therapist must be sought.

The use of scriptures to pray and make daily declarations and confessions is also known to get amazing results. 

Declaring the word and speaking the Word over the abuser helps in rewiring the brain.

Genesis 1:1-2 (KJV)  In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

God spoke His Word to a situation that was without form and void. You too can speak to that situation.

Singles should not go on to marry a partner who is already showing serious signs of abuse.

I will end here this morning.

God bless you.




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Be Still And Know – Part 2

Be Still And Know – Part 2

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Be Still and Know – Part 2.

We started this amazing topic yesterday and we will be concluding this morning.

To know and experience God you need to be still. There is a level of stillness required to be able to relate and know God for who He is.

When you are still, you most likely can trust more. Especially if it is stillness in your mind and body too. When we make haste and are in a hurry, we are not still. We make mistakes.

In a state of stillness, God can perform His glorious works in our lives. 

God had to put Adam to sleep when He was to make Eve.

Is 30:5a ‘In quietness and confidence lies your strength’

We exchange our weakness for His strength when we are quiet and still, trusting in God.

Dear SIngles, learn to be still. There is an intentional quietness to know Him. Quietness and stillness that come from a place of brokenness. A place and state of total and absolute surrendering to God’s will.

The partner is not yet around. Yes, it is NOT YET. He or she that will come, will come. Enjoy yourself, relax, get to know God more, and put your mind at rest. God is in control. Be still and know that God is God. 

Let’s search the scriptures. In Isaiah 46:10 ‘ Be still and know that I am God. 

All married couples, listen. You cannot afford to have sleepless nights over some issues. Avoid that temptation. God is never in competition with man. The Bible says He never sleeps nor slumbers. If God is awake then you are protected

You know God on your knees and in worship. It is when you are still that you can see the wonders of the Lord. He will always take charge and be in control of every situation we commit into his hands. 

Place your husbands, wives, children, parents, and in-laws into His hands and leave them there.

Don’t worry about that situation that is causing you sleepless nights.

Be still today.

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Be Still And Know – Part 1

Be Still And Know – Part 1

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Be Still And Know – Part 1

One of the hardest things to do as a Single or married is to be still. Especially in this fast-paced life. 

It seems we just got to do ‘something’. Unfortunately, this ‘ something’ is not always the right, good, or best option. We always think and take issues into our own hands. Unfortunately, we don’t get too far.

I think every single and married person should take time to read the whole of Psalm 46. It is such a beautiful portion of the scripture that offers comfort in whatever situation we find ourselves in.

The Psalm opens by telling us in verse I

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble Ps 46:1KJV

Psalms 46:1 NLT God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

Psalms 46:1 HCSB God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble.  

God is described as a refuge and strength.

God is both a hiding place of refuge from the storms of life and the strength to carry us through whatever the situation is. 

As singles, what is the situation you are in or facing? Is it a delay beyond your understanding? Is it a heartbreak? Is it confusion about making a decision? Is the future so bleak you feel so unsure? Is it a failed engagement with no explanations?

Whatever the situation is, God through the writer of this Psalm is introducing Himself as refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

He is your refuge and strength. That strength could be in the form of wisdom

Remember the Psalm says in another translation, that He is always ready to help in times of trouble.

 The question is are you ready to receive His help? His help is not automatic. 

The police services are ready to help, but until you call or dial 911, you can’t enjoy their help.

As married couples, what is that trouble? Health, financial, Emotional, a cheating spouse, a spouse you just don’t understand?

You have to receive Him as strength and refuge. You can’t enjoy peace amid crisis until you learn to trust and call upon Him for help.

I learned something once a situation is in court, you rest about it. You allow the court to decide, if not you could be charged with contempt of court

Once you have called upon Jesus, leave it with Him. Let Him handle it. 

What most of us do is, we think we are trusting and making Him our refuge and strength, and then we start worrying and trying to handle things in our wisdom and strength.

God’s strength, method, and ways will be different from ours. 

Trust Him and leave the matter with Him.

God bless. We will continue tomorrow by God’s Grace

Positive Qualities Versus Negative Qualities

Positive Qualities Versus Negative Qualities

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Positive Qualities Versus Negative Qualities

Let me open you up to today’s devotional by quoting this scripture.

Philippians 4:8 AMPC   For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

When we learn to obey the word of God, things happen for us in the positive.

Whether married or single, we are to intentionally find good things about our spouses to fill our minds with. Filling our minds with the good quality of our spouses keeps us kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving towards them.

As Singles, when your fiancee or fiance is trying hard to please you or your spouse is doing their best to make the marriage work, you don’t ignore their efforts. 

Don’t say, that if I appreciate their efforts now, they will relax and not continue making efforts. Don’t say, that until I see 100% improvement, I will not acknowledge the efforts made. 

This mindset is very wrong.

Celebrate and acknowledge the little efforts. What we appreciate, appreciates and what we don’t appreciate depreciates.

Appreciation also begets respect and willingness to do more. If all you see in your spouse are the errors, their faults, their shortcomings, and their weaknesses, then something is wrong.

If you are looking for faults, you will find them. Whatever you are looking for is what you find.

Even with the little errors, you can overlook and ignore, you use a magnifying lens to focus on them.

Remember, you are not perfect either. Neither are you easy to also live with. Fill your mind with the good in your spouse.

As singles, you can write out those good qualities in your partner and keep them before you so that you can appreciate them. Appreciation should be verbal, don’t internalize your appreciation.

When you start practicing these as a single, it becomes a habit that will help you in your marriage 

As a couple, I don’t believe your spouse won’t have any good qualities. I am sure you will be able to find at least one good quality in them. 

Focus on that. Begin to praise, appreciate, and celebrate that good quality and before long there will be more qualities to appreciate.

Practice these and your marriage will enjoy bliss, joy, peace, understanding, patience, and love.

You may want to ask, so what about the weaknesses? We don’t get better all at once. We get better gradually. It is one step after the other.

Our progress and improvement are gradual.

God bless you




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