Last week, we explored “love and boundaries,” and this week, I wish to further develop that discourse by examining how Jesus approached boundaries. Ready?
If you missed last week’s article, you can read it HERE.
Love doesn’t mean losing yourself. No, it doesn’t. Jesus is the embodiment of perfect love, yet He lived with boundaries while on earth.
He didn’t attend to every request. He didn’t go where everyone wanted Him to go. He didn’t let people define His purpose or dictate His pace.
That’s not pride. That’s wisdom.
Take a moment and imagine this: if Jesus, who could heal, raise the dead, and preach better than anyone, said “no” sometimes and walked away sometimes, then why do we think love means saying yes to everything and everyone?
Let’s see a few instances of how Jesus handled pressure:
1. He said “No” to people’s demands.
When a crowd begged Him to stay and keep performing miracles, He told them no.
“I must go and preach elsewhere,” He said in Luke 4:42-43.
Love isn’t always staying. Sometimes it’s knowing when to move.
2. He walked away to rest.
Jesus often left the crowd — even needy, desperate crowds — to pray and recharge (Mark 1:35).
Love isn’t burnout. You can care deeply and still take time to breathe.
3. He guarded His mission.
When Peter tried to talk Him out of the cross, Jesus didn’t sugarcoat it: “Get behind me, Satan.”
That wasn’t rudeness. That was clarity. Boundaries protect purpose.
So here’s the lesson:
You can love someone and still set limits.
You can serve others and still guard your peace.
You can give generously without giving away your values.
Boundaries aren’t unloving.
They’re how we love well — with wisdom, not exhaustion.
And if Jesus had them, so should we.
Do you have boundaries in your life—both your love life and generally? Work out something today.
Do you know that many relationship problems actually start because of a lack of boundaries? So, it’s wise that we deal with the issue of boundaries.
Boundaries are not walls.
They’re the healthy fences that define where you end and someone else begins.
They protect your peace, preserve your values, and keep resentment from building silently.
What do boundaries connote for singles? Well, boundaries are how you say, “I love God, I love myself, and I take my life seriously.”
Before entering any relationship, be clear on what matters to you.
Will you go and spend the weekend in his/her house? Will you allow emotional manipulation in the name of love? Will you compromise your sexual purity because “Valentine’s Day is once a year”?
If you don’t define your boundaries, someone else will define them for you.
For married couples, boundaries are just as vital. A healthy marriage thrives on boundaries.
Not everything should be said in anger.
Not every extended family member should have unrestricted access to your home or decisions.
Not every habit is okay just because “that’s how I’ve always been.”
Marriage thrives when couples communicate what’s acceptable, what’s uncomfortable, and what needs to change—with love, not hostility.
A marriage without boundaries becomes chaotic.
A relationship without boundaries becomes a trap.
Even Jesus had boundaries—He said “no” sometimes, walked away sometimes, and guarded His purpose always.
Communication is the lifeblood of any healthy marriage, but what do you do when your spouse is reluctant to talk? Silence can feel isolating, frustrating, and even hurtful. However, it’s important to approach this challenge with patience, empathy, and wisdom. Here are five biblical ways to handle a spouse who doesn’t talk, fostering understanding and connection in your relationship.
1. Understand Why They Aren’t Talking
Before jumping to conclusions, take time to understand why your spouse might be silent. Some people struggle to express emotions due to past wounds, fear of conflict, or simply being naturally introverted. Proverbs 18:13 warns, “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.” Listening first helps you discern whether their silence stems from emotional barriers, exhaustion, or something else entirely.
Why it matters: Understanding the root cause of their silence prevents misunderstandings and allows you to respond with compassion rather than frustration.
2. Create a Safe Space for Communication
Silence often happens when someone feels unsafe sharing their thoughts or emotions. By creating an environment free of judgment, criticism, or defensiveness, you invite your spouse to open up. Ephesians 4:29 encourages us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.” Speak kindly and avoid pressuring them to talk before they’re ready.
Why it matters: A safe space builds trust. When your spouse feels valued and respected, they’re more likely to share their heart over time.
3. Use Nonverbal Ways to Connect
Not all communication requires words. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Small gestures like holding hands, leaving encouraging notes, or spending quality time together can bridge the gap. 1 John 3:18 reminds us, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” Show your love tangibly, even while waiting for a verbal connection.
Why it matters: Nonverbal affection reassures your spouse of your care and commitment, reducing feelings of isolation or rejection.
4. Be Patient and Give Them Time
Change takes time, especially when it involves overcoming deeply ingrained habits or fears. Pressuring your spouse to talk may backfire, causing them to retreat further. Instead, practice patience and allow God to work in His timing. Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Why it matters: Patience demonstrates unconditional love and respect for your spouse’s pace. It also models Christ-like endurance in relationships.
5. Seek Professional Help if Needed
If your spouse’s silence persists despite your efforts, consider seeking professional help through counseling or therapy. A trained counselor can provide tools to improve communication and address underlying issues. Proverbs 11:14 affirms, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” There’s no shame in asking for support—it shows how much you value your marriage.
Why it matters: Counseling creates a neutral space where both partners can explore challenges under the guidance of a trusted professional. It’s a proactive step toward healing.
A Prayer for Your Marriage
Lord, I lift up my marriage to You, especially the areas where communication feels strained. Softening our hearts helps us understand one another better. Grant me the patience and wisdom to create a safe space for my spouse to open up. If there are deeper wounds or fears, bring them to light and heal them in your perfect way. Strengthen our bond and teach us to communicate with love and grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Janet: So… what are you wearing tonight for your date?
Liz: I’m thinking of that red dress Stephen got me last month. It should work.
Janet: Wait, Stephen? You’ve left him already? I thought you said he was the right person.
Liz:Correction. I didn’t leave him. We’re still in the talking stage.
Janet: Talking stage? Liz, it’s been six months. Are you guys stammering or what?
Liz: laughs. He’s sweet, but… he’s not really my type.
Janet:sighs. I honestly don’t get you sometimes. Stephen’s the fifth “serious” guy I’ve seen around you lately. And now you’re going on a date with someone new?
Liz: That’s why it’s called a date. To figure people out and get to know them.
Janet: Really? Because at this rate, it feels like you still haven’t figured out Jude, Taiwo, Peter, Osas… or Stephen. Honestly, I feel like I need a date with you to understand what’s going on.
Liz: Don’t be dramatic. Jude was too soft. Remember when that bike guy yelled at me? Jude apologized to him.
Janet: He told me you were rude to the guy.
Liz: Even if I was, he could’ve backed me up in the moment and addressed it later. You stand up for me publicly, then correct me privately. I need someone who’s got my back publicly.
Janet: Huh. So I guess Peter’s more your vibe then?
Liz:rolls eyes. peter? He tries too hard. Everything feels like a performance.
Janet: Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do- try?
Liz: Sure, but there’s trying… and then there’s being over-the-top. I want a guy who knows when to show up and when to chill.
Janet:[looking genuinely puzzled]
Liz: Aren’t you gonna ask about Osas and Taiwo?
Janet: Nope. I already know you ghosted them. I’m not even mad, just… I hope things work out with Stephen.
Liz:smiles softly. Thanks.
Janet: But let me say this, girl, you really need to figure out what you want for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll keep bouncing from guy to guy, looking for something that’s not lost in the name of looking for the right person.
Liz:groans playfully. There she goes again with the life coaching.
Janet: I’m just saying. Six guys and counting in under two years? At some point, you’ve gotta ask: maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s… you.
Liz: I know what I want in a man.
Janet: Okay, but do you know what you want in yourself?
Liz: So… what’s the moral of this little intervention, Dr. Janet?
Janet:laughs. It’s not an intervention. Just girl talk with a sprinkle of truth.
Liz: More like a bucketful.
Janet: Look, dating’s not a crime. Neither is exploring your options. But at some point, you’ve got to stop collecting names and start collecting lessons.
Liz: Oof. That one hit.
Janet: I’m serious. The real glow-up is self-awareness.
Liz: So you’re saying I should take myself on a date first?
Janet: Exactly. Figure out what you want from you; peace, growth, stability, and the right person won’t feel like a puzzle piece you’re forcing to fit.
Liz: So basically, know yourself, show up honestly, and don’t stop growing?
Janet: Now that’s the real red dress energy.
Liz:laughs. Okay, okay. Fine. Maybe I’ll start with dinner… with myself.
Love isn’t just about sweet words or fleeting gestures—it’s about consistent actions that demonstrate true commitment. The Bible reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind… it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” These verses highlight the essence of what it means to be truly committed in a relationship.
Here are 10 signs that reveal if he’s genuinely committed to you.
1. He Chooses You Daily :
A man who is truly committed doesn’t take your presence for granted. He actively chooses you every day, even when life gets tough. This daily decision reflects his unwavering commitment.
Deuteronomy 7:9 “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”
True commitment mirrors God’s faithfulness.
2. He Speaks Respectfully About You :
A partner who is truly committed honors you in public and private. He speaks highly of you, showing pride in your character and your relationship. Ephesians 5:33 reminds husbands, “Each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself,” which includes treating her with dignity and respect.
3. He Invests Time in You :
When someone is truly committed, they make time for what matters most. If he prioritizes quality moments with you, it’s a clear sign of his dedication. Psalm 37:5 encourages us to “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” Commitment requires intentional effort and trust.
4. He Works Through Conflicts Maturely :
A truly committed man doesn’t run from challenges. Instead, he faces conflicts head-on, seeking resolution because he values the relationship. Matthew 5:23-24 teaches us to reconcile quickly when there’s conflict, showing how important it is to preserve unity.
5. He Supports Your Growth :
Whether it’s personal, professional, or spiritual, a man who is truly committed encourages you to grow. He sees your potential and stands by you as you pursue it. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” A committed partner helps you become the best version of yourself.
6. He Plans a Future Together :
Words like “we” and “us” become natural for someone who is truly committed. If he talks about building a future with you, it’s proof of his long-term commitment. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us, “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to give you hope and a future.” A committed man aligns his plans with yours.
7. He Protects Your Heart :
A truly committed partner shields your emotions. He avoids saying or doing things that hurt you intentionally, showing his care and devotion. 1 Peter 4:8 says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Love protects and nurtures.
8. He Sacrifices for You :
Commitment often involves sacrifice. If he willingly puts your needs ahead of his own, it’s a powerful sign of how truly committed he is to your happiness. John 15:13 declares, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Sacrifice is the ultimate expression of love.
9. He Stands by You in Tough Times :
Life’s challenges reveal true colors. A man who remains steadfast during hardships shows he’s truly committed to sticking by your side no matter what. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up their fellow.”
10. He Shows Consistency :
Love may have ups and downs, but a truly committed man demonstrates consistency. His actions align with his words, day after day, proving his loyalty. Hebrews 10:23 encourages believers to “Hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Consistency reflects faithfulness.
