Oftentimes, people walk away from toxic relationships, unhealthy attachments, or bad habits, thinking that the battle is over. But leaving is only the first step. The real challenge is filling that empty space with something better. It’s easy to think that once you’ve cut ties with the wrong person or situation, everything will automatically be fine. But if you don’t intentionally fill your heart with positive, God-centered things, you might find yourself slipping back into old patterns even after you might have vowed that it would never happen again.
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through dry places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first.” — Matthew 12:43-45 (NKJV)
This is the very point Jesus was making in Matthew 12. A man was freed from an unclean spirit, but when the spirit returned, it found the house empty. Without something better taking its place, the man’s situation worsened. It’s a pattern we see in relationships, too. If you leave one behind but don’t fill your life with healing, purpose, and spiritual growth, you open yourself up to emptiness and vulnerability. This emptiness can lead you to crave the wrong things: unhealthy attention, distractions, or even another toxic relationship.
Instead of just walking away from bad relationships, it’s crucial to intentionally build a life that’s full of what truly matters—God’s wisdom, His love, and a deeper sense of purpose. Focus on nurturing your relationship with God, growing emotionally, and investing time with people who help you grow in faith. Stay busy with purpose, serve God like never before, and pursue personal growth. When you fill your life with the right things, you create a strong foundation, leaving no room for the wrong things to creep back in.
Leaving behind what’s wrong is an important step, but the real work begins after that. If you don’t fill the empty space with God’s truth, His presence, and a sense of purpose, you are at risk of falling into that same cycle. Today, make the decision to fill your life with His presence so that when love comes, you are not settling out of emptiness but embracing something beautiful because you are whole, ready, and aligned with God’s perfect plan for you.
Many people enter relationships expecting “love” to fix them. They think a spouse will erase their insecurities, a partner will heal their past wounds, or marriage will suddenly make them whole. But I bring you the truth today: love (Eros) won’t heal you—only God can.
Singles, hear me: the worst thing you can do is place the weight of your happiness or wholeness on another person. If you feel empty, unloved, worthless, or broken, a relationship won’t fix it—it will only expose it. Two incomplete people don’t make a whole relationship; they make a wounded one. It is two whole people that come together to make a whole relationship.
So, instead of searching for someone to “complete” you, let God make you whole first. That way, when the right person comes, you’ll love from a place of strength, not desperation.
So, my friends, heal before you deal. Become whole before you become entangled with another. Stop being desperate for “love” as a way of completing you—search out where the insecurity is coming from and allow God to heal you.
For married couples, expecting your spouse to be your healer is quite a heavy burden. Yes, love/marriage brings comfort and support, but no human can fill the void only God was meant to fill. If you’re struggling with insecurities, past trauma, or deep emotional wounds, don’t look to your partner as the solution—bring it to God.
Come vulnerable before God and find healing. A healthy marriage isn’t about two perfect people; it’s about two surrendered people who continually allow God to shape them.
It is God who heals. It is God that binds up the broken-hearted, not any man/woman.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Love is beautiful, yeah, but it is not a substitute for healing. So before you search for love—or while you’re already in it—ask yourself: Am I expecting a person to do what only God can? Because wholeness isn’t found in a relationship. It’s found in Him. Reach out to Him today. He’s waiting for you.
Letting go of past hurts is easier said than done. You may have prayed about it, tried to move on, or even told yourself that you’re over it. But then, something happens, a familiar situation, a certain name, a random memory, and suddenly, the pain feels just as fresh as it did back then.
Maybe you were betrayed by someone you trusted. Maybe you were abandoned, abused, rejected, or taken for granted. Maybe you gave your all to a relationship that ended in heartbreak. Whatever the case, those wounds don’t just disappear. They shape how you see yourself, how you interact with others, and even how you approach love.
And if you don’t deal with them properly, they will follow you into your future, especially into your marriage. Your spouse will feel the weight of baggage they didn’t pack, and your marriage will suffer from wounds someone else inflicted. The walls you put up to protect yourself will also shut out the person who is meant to love you. Your fears will cause unnecessary arguments. Your past will compete with your future. And that’s not the kind of marriage God wants for you.
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” — Isaiah 43:18-19
The scripture above reminds us that God is doing a new thing. But notice that He first tells us to FORGET the former things, that is, to stop dwelling on the past. That’s because we can’t fully embrace what He has ahead if we are still clinging to what’s behind.
So, how do we truly let go?
1. Be honest about the hurt. Acknowledge it Pretending you’re fine won’t bring healing. Ignoring the pain won’t make it go away. Healing starts with honesty, acknowledging the hurt, and allowing God to meet you in that place. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” What pain have you been avoiding? God is ready to walk through it with you.
2. Stop making others pay for what someone else did It’s natural to be cautious after being hurt. But when past wounds cause you to push away good people, assume the worst, or expect failure, that’s a sign of unhealed pain. Your future spouse is not your ex. Your friends are not the people who abandoned you. Don’t punish the right people for what the wrong people did. Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
3. Stop defining yourself by what happened to you Pain has a way of reshaping our identity. You may start to believe you’re unworthy of love, destined to be alone, or incapable of a healthy relationship. But those are lies that the devil wants you to believe. 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares, “If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” God doesn’t just heal, He makes new. Who does God say you are? It’s time to start believing it.
4. Allow yourself to heal Healing is not instant. Some days will be better than others. Some moments will still sting. But every step toward healing matters. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Allow yourself to feel, but don’t dwell in the hurt. Forgive, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve freedom. You don’t have to have it all together overnight, but you do have to commit to the process. So allow yourself to truly heal and stop suppressing the pain
5. Walk into your future without fear Your past does not have the power to ruin your future unless you let it. Philippians 3:13-14 encourages us, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” God has something greater ahead of you. But will you trust Him enough to step into it?
Carrying emotional baggage into marriage will not only make your life harder but also make your spouse’s life harder. Don’t let your past sabotage the love God has planned for you. Let Him heal you now so you can walk into the future whole, free, and ready to love the way He intended.
Valentine’s day has come and gone. Some people are smiling, some others are still wailing. Some people received multiple gifts, while others waited till midnight, yet got no gift. Now, you know exactly where you stand.
Some people had their innocence taken away, while some gave it out cheaply. Now that the adrenaline rush is over, and you are back to reality, let us talk.
Now is the time to take an inventory of whatever happened to you on Valentine’s Day, and make some decsisions.
If you feel you messed up, don’t stay there. Don’t sit down, sulk, and cry over what has happened.
Hos 6:1 [NIV] Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.
Rise up from your pain and regret. It is not the end of the world. Mistakes have been made, but they do not define you. What defines you is what you choose to do next. Rather than sit in self-pity, rise, learn, and move forward.
For those who feel used, unappreciated, or broken, take a step back and reflect. What led you to this point? Were you too trusting? Did you ignore the red flags, I am sure they were there. You must answer these questions to prevent a repetition of what just happened.
For those who had a wonderful Valentine’s Day, filled with love, gifts, and attention -be grateful. However, do not let one day of affection blind you to the reality of your relationship. Is your relationship built on a firm foundation? Will the love last beyond the chocolates and roses? Feelings are fickle, they do not last, so ensure your love is rooted in something deeper and more meaningful – in Christ.
No matter what your Valentine’s Day looked like, today is a new day. Pick yourself up. Make wiser choices. Seek healing, and most importantly, like the prodigal son, return to the One who loves you unconditionally. His love is not seasonal, it does not waver, and it will never leave you empty.
This year is such a strategic and special year! It is a year in which the enemy of your soul will want to fight your joy so much, and yet it is that year in which you must protect your joy so much!
God promises that your days of mourning are over. However, you must now make an effort to comply with that scripture.
Let’s look at the scriptures.
Isa 60:20 (KJV) Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the LORD shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended.
Your days of mourning are over!
Mourning, as the scripture refers to it, encompasses broken relationships and the accompanying hurt and agony.
Unhappiness in relationships and sadness within a marriage, stemming from incessant quarrels and squabbles, are also part of this process.
Let’s take a look at The Message Translation.
Isa 60:20 (MSG) Your sun will never go down, your moon will never fade. I will be your eternal light. Your days of grieving are over.
I adore that phrase. Your days of mourning are behind you!
On your part, you’re now cooperating with the scripture by refusing depression and despondency in your life with every fiber of your being!
You must consciously cultivate the spirit of joy and prevent anything from trying to steal it from you!
This year is so pivotal that you can’t let anything dampen your joy!
You have a responsibility to safeguard that joy and keep it safe!
Why would you go to such lengths?
It’s your strength!
The joy of the Lord is your strength! Protect your place of strength and ensure its safety. This guarantees constant and unwavering victory in life and all other aspects of your existence!
The days of mourning are over!
If anything is causing grief at this moment, God Himself will intervene in Jesus’ name!
