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Letting Go and Moving Forward

Letting go of past hurts is easier said than done. You may have prayed about it, tried to move on, or even told yourself that you’re over it. But then, something happens, a familiar situation, a certain name, a random memory, and suddenly, the pain feels just as fresh as it did back then.

Maybe you were betrayed by someone you trusted. Maybe you were abandoned, abused, rejected, or taken for granted. Maybe you gave your all to a relationship that ended in heartbreak. Whatever the case, those wounds don’t just disappear. They shape how you see yourself, how you interact with others, and even how you approach love.

And if you don’t deal with them properly, they will follow you into your future, especially into your marriage. Your spouse will feel the weight of baggage they didn’t pack, and your marriage will suffer from wounds someone else inflicted. The walls you put up to protect yourself will also shut out the person who is meant to love you. Your fears will cause unnecessary arguments. Your past will compete with your future. And that’s not the kind of marriage God wants for you.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” — Isaiah 43:18-19

The scripture above reminds us that God is doing a new thing. But notice that He first tells us to FORGET the former things, that is, to stop dwelling on the past. That’s because we can’t fully embrace what He has ahead if we are still clinging to what’s behind.

So, how do we truly let go?

1. Be honest about the hurt. Acknowledge it
Pretending you’re fine won’t bring healing. Ignoring the pain won’t make it go away. Healing starts with honesty, acknowledging the hurt, and allowing God to meet you in that place. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” What pain have you been avoiding? God is ready to walk through it with you.

2. Stop making others pay for what someone else did
It’s natural to be cautious after being hurt. But when past wounds cause you to push away good people, assume the worst, or expect failure, that’s a sign of unhealed pain. Your future spouse is not your ex. Your friends are not the people who abandoned you. Don’t punish the right people for what the wrong people did. Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

3. Stop defining yourself by what happened to you
Pain has a way of reshaping our identity. You may start to believe you’re unworthy of love, destined to be alone, or incapable of a healthy relationship. But those are lies that the devil wants you to believe. 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares, “If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” God doesn’t just heal, He makes new. Who does God say you are? It’s time to start believing it.

4. Allow yourself to heal
Healing is not instant. Some days will be better than others. Some moments will still sting. But every step toward healing matters. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Allow yourself to feel, but don’t dwell in the hurt. Forgive, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve freedom. You don’t have to have it all together overnight, but you do have to commit to the process. So allow yourself to truly heal and stop suppressing the pain

5. Walk into your future without fear
Your past does not have the power to ruin your future unless you let it. Philippians 3:13-14 encourages us, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” God has something greater ahead of you. But will you trust Him enough to step into it?

Carrying emotional baggage into marriage will not only make your life harder but also make your spouse’s life harder. Don’t let your past sabotage the love God has planned for you. Let Him heal you now so you can walk into the future whole, free, and ready to love the way He intended.