Betty has always loved family life and she looked forward to marriage with tremendous ecstasy. Eventually she got married but did not enjoy one single day of her marriage. The reasons are not far-fetched. She is the type that wants her husband around her all the time. She is a in-the-home woman. But then she got married to a Military man because she loved Military weddings. It was just two weeks after her wedding that reality dawned on her. She had married a on-the-road man!
Her husband had to answer call of duty and he was gone for months.
The Bible clearly advises that when you want to go on a journey you should first of all take account and make plans.
A major question that needs to be answered as you prepare for marriage is the question of compatibility. Unfortunately, for most singles rather than look critically at these area, they’re busy concentrating on sexual compatibility, a flimsy excuse to indulge in pre-marital sex and satisfy the raging fire of lust in their soul.
Areas where compatibility issues needs to be critically examined include the following.
a. Intellectual compatibility Not a few marriages have been dissolved because of this issue. Marriage is about communication. The moment you are married to someone who is at a great intellectual distance as to the extent of inhibiting natural communication flow, it alters the whole configuration. The other spouse begins to look elsewhere to satisfy that need for intellectual discussions and before long, unholy alliance are formed which eventually becomes a distraction to the marriage. It is like meeting a legitimate need in an illegitimate way.
b. Cultural compatibility A lot of people would not want to hear about their children marrying from another tribe or ethnic group because of the experiences they have had. You see, the major problem is that people often advice others based on their experiences rather than on the principles of God’s word. I don’t see anything wrong in getting married from any tribe as long as you are led of God. You must however pay a lot of attention to parental consent. This is very crucial. What if your parents say an outright NO and you feel you are on the right path? Go to God in prayers. If it is really of God, He will sort it out Himself.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will apply discretion in every area of my relationship as God helps me
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you give me wisdom and understanding in my relationship in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 11:29 [MSG]Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air; common sense tells you it’s a stupid way to live.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your partner today
The marriage bed – There are things that are popular and prevalent but not necessarily of God. That something is nearly ubiquitous does not validate it.
The voice of the people is sometimes reverberations and echoes of the devil! The voice of God is what stands any day, any time. The voice of man and the principles of man are often fraught with errors and casualties.
There are things that have been defined by the media and societal inclination; but as long as they are not founded on the word, they are as fickle as a flower that blossoms today and withers tomorrow.
You cannot build your life on such, or else when the storm rages; the wind blows and the rain falls, great will be the ruin of such a building.
For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 3:11 KJV)
So, what are some of those popular things?
1. She has to get pregnant before marriage
Some families will insist on this before they agree on any marriage. They want to be sure that the daughter they are bringing into the family is fertile or the guy that wants to marry their daughter is not impotent.
No matter how logical this looks, it contradicts the principle of God in terms of making the marriage bed undefiled.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4 KJV)
However you want to see it, even though it is popular, what is wrong is wrong. When your marriage is therefore founded on disobedience, it cut short the blessings of God.
It is not the ‘fertility’ of the lady or the potency of the man that will guarantee the next pregnancy after marriage. The same way it sounds logical to say one has to be sure with pregnancy also contradicts itself.
The same logic says what if he gets pregnant and one gets married and then loses the pregnancy, what happens? Then one will know how to cry unto God.
2. He has to be ‘mobile’ (He‘s got to have a car!)
Well, this is good! Who doesn’t want the best of things and who wants to ‘suffer’ first? If your fiancée has a good car before marriage, great!
You are blessed! But to make this a criterion will be a great error. The important thing is to find out God’s plan for your life. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil!
Are you marrying the car or the guy? What if something happens to the car? There are seemingly rich guys today who are on their way to being massively broke. But there are also guys who are seemingly broke today but are on their way to being unrepentantly rich! As a lady, you need to follow your heart and you have to be able to “perceive!”
3. We have to be compatible in bed
You just want to satisfy your lust, simple! How do you measure this compatibility in bed? What would he or she do that will give a pass mark? And if he or she is not compatible according to your judgment, what happens?
Look for the next available person and jump in bed to measure compatibility? Compatibility in bed is a figment of the imagination, and that is why you keep measuring after the first “measurement” It is high time we stop that deception.
It is high times ladies woke up and stop being easily deceived. wait for the marriage bed!
If the lady was good in bed, you’ll say she is too exposed; she has slept with too many people. If she is naïve in bed, you’ll say she is Mummy’s girl! So, exactly what are you up to?
4. We have to seek Prophet’s consent
This is another nonsensical pursuit. It is a waste of time. What you need to know is that there are prophets for profit. They are hungry and they need to eat, so they will always see something. Even when you give them three non-existent names, they will still see something! That spirit in them will not be able to identify that those are non-existent names.
In the Old Testament, the people will consult the prophet for direction because the Holy Spirit is only upon these prophets. But in the New Testament, the primary function of the prophet has moved from foretelling to forth-telling.
The Holy Spirit is now upon all believers, and you are supposed to be led by the Spirit of God individually. If your prophet or pastor confirms what is already in your heart; that is okay. I have done that for a lot of people, but pastors or prophets are not to be sought for direction on who to marry! You are to decide, they can confirm! If a pastor insists you must marry somebody you dislike and you are not in love with, that is nothing more than emotionalism and manipulation!
5. I don’t really love him or her, but I need the citizenship
This is another wrong reason to get married. Getting married to an older person to get some papers? Don’t be that desperate; allow God to do what He wants to do in your life.
What if you are not supposed to be in that place, according to God’s direction for your life? You would have sentenced yourself to a life of non-fulfillment and dissatisfaction.
You might end up having some dollars, but you will never have the peace of mind that way, and there is all likelihood that such marriages will not last! You don’t have God’s support when you venture into such deals.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I do not go by what’s popular. I will follow God’s plan for my life. Popular opinion does not move me, only the word of God does.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding (Proverbs 4:7 NKJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t look for what is popular. Pray in the spirit instead.
