Continuing from yesterday on friends, we began by using Amnon and Jonadab as our case study.
…maybe if his friend had not given him that counsel, he might have lived longer. So the question is, who is your friend? Your friend is the definition and description of your life. Watch the friends you have. Friendship is by choice and not by force.
If you are still single and probably living with your parents, can you confidently introduce your friend to your parents? If your friend is a goal-getter, he will influence you. If she is a gold digger, she will also influence you.
A friend is defined as a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. So you really want to be careful who is covering your back.
Don’t lie down with dogs or else you rise with fleas. Disconnect from those distracting your destiny. The one telling you that you cannot be rich unless you sell your body is not a friend.
The one telling you that you are a bush girl for being a virgin is a foe disguising as an enemy. The one telling you to cheat on your spouse and taste stolen waters is not a mentor but a tormentor of destiny!
The one telling you that you cannot make it unless you become crooked and con is not really a friend.
A good friend will bring progress into your life, but a bad friend will usher you into retrogression!
I love these translations of Proverbs 13:20
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces. –Proverbs 13:20 (MSG)
Keep company with the wise and you will become wise. If you make friends with stupid people, you will be ruined. –Proverbs 13:20 (GNB)
So make up your mind today. Disconnect and reconnect where necessary. Friendship begins with friendship with Jesus. He will then lead you and guide and help you choose good friends who will add to your destiny.
May God, the lover of your soul guide you to choose good friends that will advance your life!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the strength to disconnect from bad influences. I will no longer be subject to weak and beggarly elements. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I have God’s Spirit and He helps me to choose my friends. I am not naïve, I am decisive in God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY God, deliver me from the snares and traps of wrong association. Open the eyes of my understanding, O Lord, and flood my heart with your light.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY There are friends who may be a man’s destruction, but there is a lover who keeps nearer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of your friends. The good, and the bad. Keep the good and disconnect from the bad ones. It is your choice.
Dear child, yesterday we began talking about how God forgave you. The gift of forgiveness of sins is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity. It’s a gift because it’s not what we deserve, the bible says all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, -Romans 3:23 (NIV)
So you see, we all had fallen short, but God gifted us forgiveness of sin out of His mercy and redeemed us from a life of death.
Today I want to tell you about the significance of God’s forgiveness, and why it’s so important.
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, – Colossians 2:13 (NIV)
God has made you and I alive instead of being dead in sin
You are now in the kingdom of light, never to return to darkness
Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: -Colossians 1:13 (KJV)
You can now be called a child of God
You are assured of God’s love for you
You no longer have to walk in fear.
How amazing is this, God has been gracious to us all.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16 (NIV)
PRAYER: Father in Jesus name, I just want to thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me a new life. Amen.
ACTION PLAN: Decide to live a life free of sin
DECLARATION: I am a child of God, he has forgiven me my sins when Jesus died on the cross and so I live a life free of sin. Amen
Friends are powerful. They can make or Mar. In history, friends have been known to be foes in disguise, while perceived foes have turned out to be great friends.
Friends are a great influence, and they will influence for good or for worse. You may not be able to choose the circumstances of your birth and the milieu of your family, but you can choose who you want as friends and discard those who are parasites.
But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man. -2Samuel 13:3
Amnon died a premature death. Ever before his light could shine, the flames were extinguished in a fit of the revengeful act. He lost the opportunity to bloom and blossom, his destiny was cut short, and his potential never saw the light of day.
He was a prince, a king’s son, but his royal blood was wasted, and his life terminated in the midst of days.
Amnon wouldn’t have died, if he has not been advised by a ‘friend’ Years before, he had heeded a counsel from a FRIEND whose counsel eventually canceled his destiny.
Jonadab was his friend, but his friend became the source of his nemesis. He had hopelessly fallen in love with his half-sister to the point of sickness. Jonadab advised him on how to get his sister’s attention. Singles, Be Careful How You Choose Your Friends
He followed his friend’s advice, feigned sickness, and eventually raped Tamar, his half-sister. Absalom who is also Tamar’s brother made sure he revenged. He went too far.
Two years down the line when Amnon thought all was gone and forgotten, Absalom ensured his murder. He murdered him. Singles, Be Careful How You Choose Your Friends
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the strength to disconnect from bad influences. I will no longer be subject to weak and beggarly elements. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I have God’s Spirit and He helps me to choose my friends. I am not naïve, I am decisive in God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY God, deliver me from the snares and traps of wrong association. Open the eyes of my understanding, O Lord, and flood my heart with your light. I will choose rightly, I will not marry wrong.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY There are friends who may be a man’s destruction, but there is a lover who keeps nearer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of your friends. The good and the bad. Keep the good and disconnect from the bad ones. It is your choice.
The two words Appreciate and Praise have same elements but are slightly different.
Every wife should know how to praise her husband. If you wait till your husband is perfect you will wait a long time. Besides, who says you have the right standard to judge him? You may have a thousand things against him, but look for and focus on the good things he has done.
How he has been a good father to your children, he didn’t neglect you when you were pregnant, he didn’t abuse you, he provided for you, he prayed and fast for you.
The truth of the fact is that your husband has done so much for you, that you are not even aware of. It will take eternity to discover some of the things our husbands have done for us. Just like it will be in eternity to unravel the so many things our heavenly father has done for us.
Sometimes we have misjudged their motives, yet God is the judge of all and He looks into the heart.
God our heavenly father loves praises and men are created in the image of God, so there is a part of every man that craves praises.
If every wife will look beyond the pains and hurts, and just praise her husband for what he does, I believe that praise will work wonders.
But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
That is what praise can do. We can learn this principle from this young girl, who despite who King Herod is or whatever he has done, danced with all her heart, and honored him till he felt so wonderful.
She could access what the king has by simply honoring him. She brought herself to a place of prominence by forgetting herself and praising the king first. She was rewarded for it.
Let us all as wives focus on praising our husbands. Let us be selfless. Let us not be too mindful of ourselves.
We can’t dance unless we learn to forget whatever issues, and grievances we have towards our husbands. For us to dance in a way that pleases and catch the attention of our husbands, our hearts must be free of offenses.
Have a light heart. So you can dance well. All you want is for your king to open his mouth and give you half of his kingdom, his heart, his life, his commitment, his loyalty, his attention.
The principle is to do his own first!
May God grant us the heart of humility to rid our hearts of everything that will not make our hearts light, so that we can dance for him.
God bless our marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a good wife, teach me how to always appreciate my husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the things your husband has done for you and appreciate him for it
One of the greatest gifts God gave us as his children is the gift of forgiveness of sins. God forgave you of every sin. It’s a gift because it’s not what we deserve, forgiveness is God’s act of Mercy, and this occurred by the death of Jesus on the cross of Calvary.
You know that popular Sunday school verse:
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16 (NIV)
God forgave us our sins so the devil has no say over our lives. Jesus blood paid for our sins and gave us redemption.
Do you know what it means to be redeemed? It means to have a new owner, Jesus moved us from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light.
The wages of sin is death, but we as God’s children no longer have that penalty.
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. –Romans 6:23(NIV)
We now have eternal life in Jesus Christ.
This is why you as God’s child, shouldn’t allow the devil put fear in you or lure you to do things God has already forgiven you for, things like telling lies, stealing, disobedience, etc.
Jesus saved us from a life of sin and so it is no longer our reality!
Today I want you to make up your mind to live a life that makes God happy always. God forgave you your sins so live a life free of them, so let the devil know you no longer belong to his camp!
PRAYER: Father in Jesus name, I just want to thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me a new life. Amen.
ACTION PLAN: Decide to live a life free of sin
DECLARATION: I am a child of God, he has forgiven me my sins when Jesus died on the cross and so I live a life free of sin. Amen
SINGLES – How To Survive Hurts And Disappointments
Continued from yesterday…
Forgiveness is releasing the offender in your heart only to discover you are freeing yourself. The offender or the person that hurt has moved on, and it is even probable he might meet Jesus along the way, retrace his steps and do well. It is you that must not resign to fate because of some past occurrences, let go and let God!
Why must you forgive hurts? God says so. You also want Him to forgive you anyway.
It will be too much to hold a person or persons in bitterness in your heart. Free yourself and allow God who is the re-writer of history to rewrite your life. Allow God who can collapse years to recompense every lost year. Allow God who is the restorer to help you to the point that you will forget the shame of your youth!
Yes, he really hurt you. He jilted you. She deceived you. He pushed you into abortions. She eloped with your money. He raped you. Your cousin violated you. Your big sister abused you. Your father slept with you. Your house-help did this and that…the issues are endless…It has happened!
Don’t ostracize yourself like Mephibosheth to Lo-debar, a land of no communication because he was dropped by his caretaker and broke his ankles. Rather, allow God to make a message out of the mess. Allow Him to turn the mistakes into miracles. That is How To Survive Hurts And Disappointments.
Allow God to birth a dream out of the doom. Allow him to showcase you to the world that when He covers anybody with His glory, the shame and the embarrassments become a thing of the past, and the broken become masters at mending.
The first step is to forgive hurts. I pray for strength for you today in your inner man to let go. Some of you have bottled it for years and it has kept you captive like when a lion holds its prey at the jugular.
Don’t allow bitterness and strife to lock their jaws on you and keep you immobilized. If you need somebody to talk with to initiate the healing process, feel free to give me a call on +234 802 3507395. If I don’t pick up your calls, keep trying, I might be in a meeting.
Don’t just become a survivor. Become a forgiver!
It’s a new day for you!
You will succeed!
Your life will be a testimony!
You are blessed!
How To Survive Hurts And Disappointments
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My future is colorful and bright. I will not allow an unforgiving spirit to rob me of it. I receive grace to forgive all hurts and offense
PRAYERS FOR TODAY Lord, I ask you to give me a loving heart like Jesus. Give me a heart that forgives hurts and prays for those who despitefully use us.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 6:14For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list and forgive all and don’t keep an unforgiving spirit
COUPLES – How To Refuse The Devil’s Agenda In Marriage
Marriage is often time associated with wine because our union with our spouse is supposed to bring joy to us.
The marriage ceremony itself is a joyous occasion with the bride and groom looking their best. Everyone is happy, with lots of food to eat and drinks, music, dancing, and the exuberance of finding the love of your life.
All these sum up to give joy and excitement. Both for the new couples, the parents, families, the couples friends and all.
But a few years down the line, we see that joy almost vanished from the face of the once overjoyed couple. Why is this?
We may have different reasons why, but I want to point to us that the devil is the real culprit here.
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). – John 10:10 AMPC
The above scripture identifies the devil as a thief who comes to steal if not stopped, graduates to kill, and then finally to destroy, bringing to total ruins, both what you desire and what you have laboured for. He destroys the legacy of families and what they stand for.
The devil is the one that steals joy from marriages. He does this through several means and does it in whoever marriage he is allowed to perform his three-fold agenda and mission.
Every believer’s marriage is precious and priceless. The devil hates anything joyous, good, and glorious. He is attracted to it, to steal from it, kill and destroy it.
The devil is not just a nuisance, he is an enemy. That is the fact and the truth. You must always take the offensive against his onslaught.
The scripture in John 10:10 didn’t just say that the devil cometh to steal, kill and destroy. It concluded that ‘I am come that they might have or enjoy life and it more abundantly.
For every attempt of the devil to steal the joy of and in your marriage whether by misunderstanding, strife, unforgiveness, infidelity, the sin of different types, anger, works of the flesh etc. Jesus also came.
He came once and for all to deal with the 3 fold agenda of the devil. Jesus is not only the answer to the problem, He is much more than that.
It is not your wife or your husband that is hurting you or cheating on you.
Am I saying we should not take responsibility for our actions? No, I didn’t say that. We take responsibility and deal with the root cause of the issue. The devil hides under the works of the flesh or sin to carry out his 3 fold agenda.
Begin to insist on your joy, peace in marriage, prosperity, and every good thing Jesus already paid for there.
Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation.Isaiah 12:3 AMPC
Joy in your marriage is not just having good behaviour. You need your joy to draw from the well of salvation.
No wonder the devil is after your joy. Without joy, you cannot draw. You can speak in tongues, fast, and pray but you also need joy.
When the devil throws different issues at you, he is after your joy. Insist on your joy.
Respond in joy to any attack on your marriage. That joy is an overflowing joy, the joy that is full of glory.
Laugh at the face of lack. You begin to draw wealth and prosperity from the well of salvation.
Let nothing steal your joy. Be joyful with the wife of your youth.
God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage in Jesus name
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Nothing steals my joy in my home.
PRAYERS FOR TODAY Lord, strengthen me in my inner man
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation. Isaiah 12:3 AMPC
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out areas where you need God to remember you and go before Him to plead your case.
SINGLES – How To Survive Hurts And Disappointments
Today’s devotional is about a decision we all have to make. Some people have been badly abused, cheated and taken for granted in their past relationships. They feel justified to hold their offenders in unforgiving spirit but the truth is that an unforgiving spirit holds you as a prisoner to the past.
You cannot be pregnant of yesterday and expect to deliver of your tomorrow and enjoy your today. Nature detest vacuum. It is either your heart is filled with the bitterness of yesterday or filled with the joy of today and the hope of tomorrow.
Some of you were rejected and forgotten by your fathers. Some of our mothers were not there when we needed them. They failed in their responsibilities to bring us up. Some mothers even abandon their babies. Some of those we love and hold in respect disappointed us, even abused and violated us.
For some, a trusted friend, aunty, brother, sister, cousin or even a fiancee betrayed your loyalty.
No matter the case, God understands. He knows the pain of the hurts. He loves you so much as you are but He also loves you too much to leave you the way you are. He desires your healing.
Remember He is a Doctor, the Physician. Doctors prescribe the medication for your recovery. The patient will have to trust the expertise of the doctor to receive his health back. No matter how painful or bitter the medication is, the patient has to follow through patiently. You endure the pain knowing it is just for a while…
Most medicines, injections, drips, operations or any recovery procedure are not palatable, but because our health is also very important, we endure them all.
I want you to see yourself as a patient today and Jesus as the doctor, telling you to forgive as a medication to heal your hurts and make you free again to live, love and laugh.
Remember you are not perfect either and always need the gift of forgiveness from God. The fact is that as long as you are still alive, you will hurt people, people will hurt you and you will need each other’s forgiveness.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My future is colourful and bright. I will not allow an unforgiving spirit to rob me of it. I receive grace to forgive all who have hurt and offended me
PRAYERS FOR TODAY Lord, I ask you to give me a loving heart like Jesus. Give me a heart that forgives and prays for those who despitefully use us.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 6:14For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list and forgive all and don’t keep an unforgiving spirit
We have been considering several levels of communication in the last few days. We have looked at
1. The Hallway talker
2. Reporter’s Talk
3. Intellectual Talk
4. Emotional Talk.
This morning, we will be considering the last and highest level of Communication.
5. Loving, Genuine Truth Talk
‘Let’s Be Honest’.
This level allows us to speak the truth in love. It is a place of honesty without condemnation.
Most couples are finding out that such open, honest and loving communication enhances a much deeper level of intimacy, where couples can share their feelings and thoughts without feeling unsafe. Both have a sense of safety and security. This requires an attitude of acceptance.
You know your spouse understands you even if they don’t agree with you.
We can always agree to disagree without shaming ourselves or making us look less smart. We can have differing opinions and still be friends. No hurts, no guilt, no condemnation and we are still good to go.
We can’t be the same. Remember, acceptance is the key.
We may start out on the first level of communication, but please, don’t let us remain there.
As a couple, we should aim at moving higher in the way we relate, understand, and communicate with each other. This will require a certain level of work and being intentional about getting to understand your spouse.
The higher we grow in our level of communicating with ourselves, the more intimate we grow with our spouse.
I pray God will grant us wisdom and grace and help us all to communicate better in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing to many
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)
Let’s enjoy the story about Funmi, as we look at listening to the Voice of God. Funmi asked her mother for some money but her request wasn’t granted. When her mother went to the kitchen, Funmi quickly took money out of her mother’s purse.
She felt good knowing that she had money to spend with her friends at school. Her friends always had lots of money to spend at school and she didn’t want to be any different.
But she kept having a feeling. As much as she was happy, the feelings of happiness were slowly dwindling.
What could it be, she wondered. Soon, she began to feel bad about taking the money.
A voice kept telling her it was wrong of her to have taken the money. It kept telling her she had stolen the money.
But I didn’t steal the money, Funmi said to herself. It’s my mother’s money and she has lots of it.
Funmi was hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit.
When you sin, the Holy Spirit convicts you of it. He speaks to your heart and tells you what you did wrong.
When the Holy Spirit speaks to you and can convict you to the point where you change your ways or confess your wrongdoings, you are still in a safe zone. You still have a conscience.
Funmi didn’t spend the money at school that day or went with her friends to buy things. She felt bad about taking the money and knew what she had to do – tell her mother the truth, ask for her forgiveness, and never steal again in her life.
May the Holy Spirit give you a healthy conscience. Amen.
Prayer: Sweet Spirit of God, thank you for the power to convict me of all sins. Please give me a heart that will listen and obey you in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action point: Has the Holy Spirit ever spoken to you about something wrong you did? How did you respond? Did you do what He said or not? Decide to always listen to and obey His instructions.
Declaration: My conscience is not seared. I listen and obey the Holy Spirit.
The Samaritan woman had met so many men… but then when she met the man, the lover of her soul, she couldn’t but express the difference that turned her life around!
The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a man… -John 4:28-29 (KJV)
Respond to God’s love today. Refuse the emotion of guilt! You see the moment you have asked your father to forgive you, He forgives and forgets. The devil tries to bring guilt so that you can feel unworthy and thereby prevent you from coming into God’s presence boldly.
But you see, this issue is a family affair! If your earthly father has forgiven you of an offense, what else can the servant in the house say? You simply tell him to shut up!
That is the way you handle the devil. It’s none of his business. God forgave you, period.
Tell the devil to shut up, it’s between you and your father, it’s a family affair and it is settled! He should stop poke nosing.
The blood of Jesus handled it already! If he tries to remind you of your past, remind him of his future, it’s the bottomless pit! Make sure you stop sinning.
That is what God does not want, continuous and habitual sins. Grace cannot abound when sin continues! Only hearken to what Jesus said to that adulterous woman caught in the act.
… And Jesus said unto her, neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. –John 8:11 (KJV)
The fact is that you did something wrong.
The lie is that you will never be forgiven.
The truth is that you are already forgiven and it is forgotten! Embrace the truth today and let it set you free! Truth is superior to the fact!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Sin will not have dominion over me. I am able to follow God’s injunctions. I put my body under. All my sins are forgiven. I am a new a creature
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in my inner man. Help me to comprehend with all the saints what is the length, breadth and height, and depth of your love for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY He touched my mouth with the coal and said, “Look. This coal has touched your lips. Gone your guilt, your sins wiped out.” –Isaiah 6:7 (MSG)
This type of conversation is not just limited to a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer. The wife’s or husband’s opinion is needed and necessary.
For example, ‘Are the children eating rice this afternoon?’ ‘I don’t think it will be the best option for them. They need more vegetables in their diet’.
It is important to note that, the question, what do you think about….is so important in husband-wife conversations.
Your husband or wife’s opinion matters and don’t want them feeling like they are not smart. If the wife is just accepting every decision made and is not really a part of the decision-making process and involved in the intellectual aspect of thinking through, there will eventually be problems later on in the marriage.
4. Emotional Talk.
‘Let me tell you how I feel’.
In this fourth level of Communication, we share our feelings. When our feelings are shared, we share ourselves because we are what and how we feel.
We are simply making ourselves vulnerable. When we share with our mate how we feel, the intention is not whether we are right or wrong. We mostly don’t want to be judged because of how we feel. We just need our spouse to listen, understand and accept that that’s the way we feel.
We kill intimacy when we are quick to judge the feeling. I am not saying we should not correct but first acknowledge your spouse’s feelings.
It is more difficult for most people to share their feelings than their thoughts. These are two very different things
‘I feel that guy is a thief’.
‘I feel the car will break down’
‘I am thinking the issue with the woman is not natural’.
When you share your feelings, you are expressive. When you don’t share your deepest feelings, a path of you is left hidden or covered.
When you share your feelings, you are vulnerable, open, unashamed, no inhibitions.
Couples should aim at growing together into this fourth level of communication, to enjoy a higher level of intimacy.
In our concluding part, I will be talking about how your marriage can move up on the level of Communication and you both can become intimate couples. The goal in every marriage should be to know each other and be as intimate with your spouse as much as possible.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing to many
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)
Today we will be talking about overcoming fear. Appearances can look real but in actual fact are not. Your expectations are false but are looking real.
How do you stop yourself from being overwhelmed with all the pressure of fear?
See what the word of the living God says about fear.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Just take a moment to stop everything and just pray.
Praying helps you to get an understanding of what to do or not to do.
Prayer is a tool to help you understand what is happening and how to deal with it.
The major thing is that you shouldn’t allow fear – any of your false expectations appearing real, to stop you from doing what you’re supposed to do.
God doesn’t want you to have any form of fear and even if you do, He asks you to release them all to Him. He can carry them all and has the solution to solving them.
Having to start your day by asking God for forgiveness daily can be very frustrating, especially when you know you are going to commit the sin again.
Self-condemnation comes once we violate God’s principles. This self condemnation will surface at unexpected times. Most times, young folks get involved in premaritalee before marriage in order to express their freedom or liberty.
In the end, the purpose is defeated, because the very freedom they seek to express will be lost to emotional captivity and slavery. Freedom from a guilty conscience will be gone.
Years ago, a lady sat before me. She was genuinely troubled. She felt God would never forgive her because she was involved in pre-marital sex. She wept bitterly.
She said she has asked God to forgive her severally and she was not sure God heard her.
Another lady actually lost her mind after indulging in this same act because she believed she had committed an unpardonable sin. She couldn’t recognize anybody again.
She embraced the devil’s lie that she has committed the unpardonable sin because of pre-marital sex. She was talking gibberish and making faces. When we were called (alongside another pastor) to pray for her, all our attempts failed until we started to address the issue of guilt by the Spirit of God.
As we began to speak to her about God’s love and kindness, that demon left her, she calmed down, sobered up and tears began to flow. It was only then she was restored. It was then she told us what really happened. The negative emotion of guilt is a terrible experience. Guilt can be so real to the point of being suicidal.
When troubles ganged up on me, a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn’t see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out. –Psalms 40:12 (MSG)
I’m swamped by my bad behavior, collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt. –Psalms 38:4 (MSG)
You wouldn’t want to live with guilt all your life for violating God’s law. However, no matter how guilty you feel right now; God can always send help if you call upon Him and trust in His Word. That’s the way out.
It could be a sin of fornication or adultery or any form of sexual perversion, the blood of Jesus took care of all!
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to GOD.” Suddenly the pressure was gone– my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. –Psalms 32:5 (MSG)
I want you to know that there is a lover of your soul that is different from any lover who might have disappointed you. You might have been disappointed by men, abandoned by men, used and dumped by men, treated shabbily by men…but when you meet the man, He will restore your soul!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Sin will not have dominion over me. I am able to follow God’s injunctions. I put my body under. All my sins are forgiven. I am a new a creature
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in my inner man. Help me to comprehend with all the saints what is the length, breadth and height, and depth of your love for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY He touched my mouth with the coal and said, “Look. This coal has touched your lips. Gone your guilt, your sins wiped out.” –Isaiah 6:7 (MSG)
So we learned how important communication is in marriage. Not just anyhow communication but husbands and wives should dedicate time and attention to proper and effective ways to communicate with each other.
It can’t be over-emphasized, that Intimacy in marriage can only be brought as we grow from one level of Communication to the other levels.
There are five levels of Communication. I started with the first level yesterday, which is Hallway talker. Today, I am continuing:
2. Reporter’s Talk
This level is a step further than the first. Here, the conversation moves from general talks to talking or giving facts or information about events. It is a reported kind of talk.
Here more information is given, but still, this kind of conversation does not promote intimacy. In level two communication, we do not express our opinions, thoughts, or how we feel about the subject matter.
If you are at this level two communication, your aim should be to move up and climb the steps of effective communication so that intimacy could be engendered.
Remember, level two communication is summarized; Just give me the facts.
3. Intellectual Talk
In this conversation level, your spouse is given the freedom to think differently. This is an amazing gift to give each other in marriage.
It is recognizing the fact that each one of you is a unique individual with a different perspective, viewpoint, and way of reasoning.
Marriage is trying to bring our way of thinking into alignment without suffocating the uniqueness of each other’s thinking. Two becoming one is choosing the best of our different thinking patterns and or merging our different opinions till we arrive at the best alternative.
When we recognize our weaknesses and strength and know that each one of us has a role and part to play and that neither of us is superior to another. We will honor each other and give each other the opportunity to air their opinions.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing to many
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)
Hello precious one, today I will be talking to you about God as our shepherd. Have you ever heard the word Shepherd?
It’s a name given to someone. So who is a shepherd and what does he/she do?
A shepherd is a person who tends sheep, his or her responsibility is to watch, keep, feed, and protect a sheep.
In the bible, we see on several occasions that it refers to God as a Shepherd and the bible also calls us God’s sheep.
Just like an earthly Shepherd, there are several responsibilities promised to us by God. Our father is “The good shepherd” and his sheep are always watched by him.
Let me show you a few places where the bible speaks about God as our shepherd and us as his sheep.
Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. –Psalms 100:3 (NIV)
Don’t you just love the word of God? The bible calls us God’s people, as in his very own, and then he says we are the sheep of his pasture.
Another verse is Psalm 23:1
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. –Psalms 23:1 (NIV)
This verse makes it a personal confession, God is ”my Shepherd”, as a result of this, I am not in lack of anything, he is responsible for my daily needs!
The last verse we will be looking at is found in Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. –Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)
This verse declares that God carries us as his children, not only are we carried; he places us close to his heart, such that for anything to happen to us, that means God too will be affected.
Thank God we have a Good Shepherd who cares for us! Amen.
PRAYER: Father help me to know you as my Shepherd.
ACTION POINT: Make sure you take out time to pray this morning
DECLARATION: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
SINGLES – How To Detect A Problem in Your Relationship
Continued from yesterday…
3. Only God knows who will make heaven. We are all deceiving ourselves
No! We are not all deceiving ourselves.
You see, this type of attitude reduces a person to a mediocre Christian. No energy or passion for God. He is not committed to his local assembly, he is disconnected from the vine as it were.
Anybody who is not enthusiastic about serving God will always have issues in his or her spiritual life.
4. I don’t like speaking in tongues. I’m not for that balderdash.
Well speaking in tongues is not balderdash!
Speaking in tongues is the supernatural utterance that God has given us to forge ahead in life, stay in touch with Him, and ensure our victory always.
When anybody makes the above statement, it is an indication of serious and deeper issues that will show up later.
5. The Bible never says we should not drink. We only should not get drunk
This person will surely drink and even indulge in other excesses. He or she already told you ahead of time!
When any of the above statement is being made, don’t turn a deaf ear to them. Pay attention to them, seek counsel and pray again and again.
It is better to remain single until the right person shows up than to desperately rush into marriage with the wrong person.
I pray for you this morning, you will not miss it in Jesus name
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to detect problems
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me what may not be obvious
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jer 33:3 (KJV)Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
There are five levels of Communication. A further read is encouraged on the subject of communication especially by the best selling author Gary Chapman. I am sure you will find it rewarding and worth your while.
1. The Hallway talker
In this type of conversation no intimacy is developed or worked at. This conversation doesn’t involve wanting to know the feeling or thought process or pattern of the other person. The conversation is on autodrive.
You have a particular way of response to what is said or asked. Example,
‘How are you doing?’.
‘Fine’.
‘How are the kids?’
They have gone to school.’
The essence of communicating with each other is develop intimacy. No deep communication, no intimacy. And intimacy is the essence of marriage.
Why am I married if I can’t enjoy love, acceptance, understanding, oneness, sincerity and transparency?
Every married couple, should aim at climbing the steps of communication to further develop the intimacy between them.
You can’t be involved in monosyllable answers and expect intimacy to be developed.
If couples are not careful or well discerning, twenty years of their marred life will pass so quickly and they will discover they have not improved on their communication and that they are still in the ‘hall way’ method of communicating.
They were distracted by work, a busy schedule, distracted with the children and yet each spouse were just coping and not really pleased with each other.
The children are grown and they are now left with each other to deal with the hurts piled up for so many years and not talked about.
May God in His mercy send help to us out of Zion in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to communicate well with my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jer 33:3 (KJV)Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
Your spirituality is very important! It is very important to your advancement in life. Your spiritual life is a very important part of you.
Part of your activities to advance includes reviewing your spiritual life and asking yourself the following questions
1. Did you create a time for prayers? If yes, how well did you keep to this time? How long did you spend in prayers? Did you pray in the Holy Ghost and for how long?
2. How many times did you fast this year? From morning till afternoon? Morning till evening? Weekly? Monthly?
3. How many times did you attend church?
4. Do you serve in your church as a worker?
5. Did you pay tithes and give offerings?
6. How many times did you read the Bible? Or even opened it?
These are just some questions that can guide you in making better decisions concerning your spiritual life.
SINGLES – How To Detect A Problem in Your Relationship
When you hear statements like these, then be rest assured the relationship is defective and there is a problem.
1. I don’t know how to communicate, that is how I am
How do you know a man or woman who is not right for you? You will find out in his or her words.
His words will reveal his heart. His words are like a searchlight, highlighting the intents and the intentions of the hearts.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
There is nobody who doesn’t know how to communicate. People only choose whether they want to do so or not. There is something about somebody you love genuinely. The vocal chords will resonate!
The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. – Son 2:8 (KJV)
You are at an interview. You are about to be hired and they have one last question for you. “Tell us about yourself.”
Will you say you don’t know how to communicate? You will suddenly have inspiration.
When you stay incommunicado with a supposed lover for weeks, something is not quite right.
2. I serve God my own way, I am not like a fanatic
When a person says things like that, it shows deeper resentments for God and His ways.
His definition of serving God is his own invention. It is as defined by him and at his convenience. This type of heart that is not ready to sacrifice cannot go far in God.
To follow after God, you must be prepared to carry your own cross.
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Mat 16:24 (KJV)
To be continued.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to solve the problem
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me what may not be obvious
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jer 33:3 (KJV) Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
