I said yesterdaythat it is important we believe that we can have a happy marriage. The mind has a very important role to play. If you don’t believe that you can have a happy marriage, you will not be willing to take the steps necessary. We’ll continue from where we stopped yesterday
5. Never use God’s word as a hammer.
God’s word is never meant to be a tool of destruction. It’s never meant to condemn anybody, especially your spouse.
You are to lovingly correct with God’s word. Teaching and showing by examples the right way to live or master our thoughts or the flesh.
Some spouses could find it easy to be disciplined without much stress maybe because of their upbringing or their background. Some of us have very strict parents who brought us up under very strict rules.
Some religions, jobs, or even skills require so much discipline whereas others don’t.
If you are a spouse that is privileged to have gone through such strict background and your spouse didn’t go through such, don’t be hard on him/her.
Some spouses have perfected the act of sermonizing their spouse. No one can change another. You can only pray for a person to change or influence them to change
6. Always welcome each other with an affectionate welcome.
It is important to do something special to your spouse that will make them hold you dear to their hearts.
For example, call each other special names, have coded language or phrase in communicating.
Whatever the case, just have fun. I believe it is the fun in the marriage that adds spice to our marriage.
Life itself is full of stress. We only have each other to enjoy and it’s not about the money we have or don’t have.
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your partner today.
Can yousee the possibility of a happy marriage. You have to believe that it’s possible, and tell yourself “I will have a happy marriage”, and then do the things necessary to have a happy marriage. We’ll continue from where we stopped yesterday
3. Never go to sleep with an argument.
An argument can occur between the couples at any time, on whatever issue, and in any particular place. However, it is maturity on the part of the couple not to spread the dirty linen outside for all to see.
It is maturity on the part of the husband to lovingly correct any mistake his wife does. She is not your daughter neither is she your maid or servant. She is your wife and covenant partner.
The wife is meant to respectfully suggest her opinion and ideas in such a way that it will not lead to an argument. That is maturity on her part.
Both husband and wife should be discerning enough to know when an argument is ensuring. They should also take note of their responses and how they react.
A soft answer is what the Bible recommends.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1 KJV
All couples should learn and practice how to answer softly.
Each couple must deal with anger. You cannot do marriage with anger
That is why it is important to deal with every unresolved issue. Every hurt, pain, unforgiveness will only lead to more unhealthy issues in marriage.
Every couple should be willing to fight for their marriage and be ready to walk in and by the Spirit. Only then can we be sure of not being carnal, judging issues rightly, having the right perspective, and being loving in our approach.
Finally, the bible says we should not let the sun go down on our anger. The life span of your anger shouldn’t be more than 24 hours
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Ephesians 4:26 – 27 KJV
4. At least once a day, say something complimentary to your spouse.
If your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation, you will have to be very deliberate about complimenting him/her often. Your words mean a lot to your spouse and will often look to you for this need to be met.
You must be quick to look for virtues to celebrate, little baby steps to notice, efforts to acknowledge, and things to appreciate in your spouse.
Some temperaments don’t really need as many compliments and will do well even without a single compliment. You will do well not to judge or criticize your spouse if they need a lot of compliments.
However, as we mature, God should be our source of compliment and we should be secure in His word and promises to us and about us.
I will stop here for today. See you tomorrow by God’s Grace.
God grant us more understanding.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY EPH 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today
A Happy marriage happensby consistent deliberate efforts from both spouses. Marriage is an important part of our lives which is meant to last all of our adult years. That is we are meant to be in a marriage with our partner till death do us part. And for most of us, that’s a long time.
One thing we don’t want to do is to be unhappy throughout our married life. We want to be sure we are happy with our spouse and happy with ourselves.
Here are 10 tips that will help us achieve this.
1. Never bring up the mistake of the past.
In marriage, there will be issues. We are all still a work in progress and still in the days of our flesh. There are bound to be resolved issues (issues in the past), present issues and, some issues to deal with in the past.
Bringing up past issues is like digging a grave and exposing things that should have been buried. It shows you have not fully forgiven your spouse.
Forgiveness is so important in marriage, you cannot afford to joke with it.
You cannot be digging at the past and expect to move forward or be happy.
Get rid of the past as much as possible. Make sure you resist the temptation of shaming your spouse by referring to things of the past, no matter how difficult it seems.
It takes a lot of maturity to keep your mouth shut and not refer to past mistakes.
What goes around comes around. You might be the one that needs to be forgiven next. There might be a mistake you will do in the future that also requires forgiveness. Remember, to err is human. To forgive is divine.
Let’s include some divinity in our marriage.
2. Never neglect each other. Focus on each other.
The issue of focus has now become so obvious in marriages that it needs to be addressed squarely. You see couples that prefer others to their spouse.
When they go out with their spouse, they are not used to themselves. There is no connection. They are just like any other person to them, apart from the fact that they are living together, bearing each other’s name and probably wearing the same clothes.
There should be a heart-to-heart connection. A connection that is beyond words that keep drawing you close to one another.
We have to consciously work on focussing on each other. That focus is essential to our marriage.
Avoid all forms of distractions, emotional affairs, wandering thoughts, that prevent us from focussing on our own.
Let our spouse ever catch our attention spirit, soul, and body. Let us work on focussing our minds on our spouse. No matter what anyone wears or their physical attributes, our spouse is our spouse, period.
It is about our heart. Let work on having the integrity of heart.
I will stop here this morning.
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus mighty name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me an understanding for my marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY EPH 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today
This morning, by the Holy Spirit, I want to show us something that will help eliminate quarrels that might lead to strife, malice, hurts, and offenses in our marriages. That something is a soft answer.
It looks very simple because I have observed that the things that make for great success in life are simple yet profound. Their simplicity, however does not make them easy to do. If they were that easy, we shouldn’t be having issues in our marriages.
However, because of our pride, ego, human tendencies, selfishness, lack of patience and understanding, we cannot bring ourselves to do it.
What I am talking about is our responses. How we communicate with our spouse. Our response is very important at every point in time. In fact, our response is so important it gives direction to what happens next. The initial words spoken are not as important as our responses.
Pro 15:1 KJV A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
As couples, we ought to pay extra attention on how we respond. As a wife, never allow your response to be out of anger. Learn what a soft answer means.
As a husband, learn what a soft answer is. It is better to turn away wrath in your marriage than to prove a point that ‘you are the son of your father’ or that you are the ‘man in the house.’
Does that mean that even when my wife or husband talks harshly to me I should not give it back to him? Well, that is exactly what that scripture is saying.
It is very difficult. That was why I earlier said that something is simple doesn’t make it easy to do. It takes our learning and decision plus determination.
You need to choose whether you want to hold on to your ego and respond to your wife or husband harshly or you want to master the art of a ‘soft answer’.
No matter how much you are tempted to answer harshly, don’t bulge, choose rather to give a soft answer. If God can have one person in the marriage give a soft answer, God will step in and turn away the wrath, strife, quarrel, offense, malice that will lead to hurt and unforgiving spirit.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will go for wisdom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, guard and guide my mouth
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:15 (KJV) The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.
