Yea, we often time want things to work ‘sharp, sharp’. We are used to instant victory. Indomie noddles kind of thing.
Even in natural things, nothing just happens. There are no instant millionaires.
In a weight loss program, it is easier to gain weight than it is to lose it.
You gain more calories by eating cakes, pastries, and ice cream. You will have to work out for hours and days to lose what you have gained.
My point is, you cannot have an instant weight loss or anything for that matter.
In the same way, we cannot expect instant victory over where we have been defeated before. It takes time and effort.
Some of us have been used to a certain way of thinking and doing things (in a negative way).
We have learned certain bad habits that are not making our marriage work out.
We shout, lie, are selfish and self-centered, we are bossy, we nag, we are lazy, we are insincere, we are not trustworthy, we unnecessarily keep quiet and withdraw, and the list goes on.
It took you years to get to that point and then you are expecting an instant change.
Deu 7:22 And the Lord your God will clear out those nations before you, little by little; you may not consume them quickly, lest the beasts of the field increase among you. But the Lord your God will give them over to you and will confuse them with a mighty panic until they are destroyed.
This is God talking to us. He says your victory will come ‘little by little.
I feel this little by little victory causes us to sober and keeps us coming to God. Holding on to Him and looking up to Him for His Mercy.
I believe ‘ the beast of the field’ among us is PRIDE, where we feel, ‘ Yes, I can press the button, and …the victory comes.
Remember it took Jesus, dying on the cross to give us this victory. It was a great price. So don’t get discouraged on your journey to making your marriage beautiful.
Pro 23:18 For surely there is a latter end [a future and a reward], and your hope and expectation shall not be cut off.
God has promised you victory. He has promised that your expectations will not be cut off.
That marriage will be blissful. That husband will love you. That wife will be supportive and submissive. Those children will be obedient and together as a family you will enjoy prosperity. You will move forward. You will increase. That contract will come through.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient and will hold on to God till I have victory.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to patiently hold on for my victory
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 13:4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go back to God’s instructions for your marriage.
It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. The value of friendship is known in hard and tough times. Nothing is as soothing as when a friend speaks to you in your down moments. When his or her words are like cold water to a thirsty soul.
If the effect of a friend could be that felt, how much more is the effect of a spouse. Of course, our spouse is supposed to be our best friend with who we are vulnerable, with who we can share the joy and the privilege of being naked and not ashamed.
I think every spouse should ask themselves this question. “Am I a friend to my spouse?” “Can my spouse confidently say, he/she can find a friend in me?” “Does my spouse find me easy to talk with?”
Every spouse should ask these soul-searching questions and try to find answers to these questions.
It is easier to point accusing fingers at your spouse. Quit playing the blame game and face reality, walk and work together.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Amos 3:3 KJV
Come in agreement with each other. Forgive every hurt and pain. For marriage is where we hurt deeply.
Some spouses are so hurt they vowed never to forgive. If you have any knotty situation, talk things over with your mentors. Sometimes, the issues in marriage require the authority of someone higher than you. Just a word, a prayer or a prophetic utterance can solve such issues.
Some people have destroyed their marriage because of staying on their viewpoint of being right. In marriage, it is not always about who is right or wrong, but our willingness to allow God’s purpose to be done.
Jesus, our model didn’t insist on being right. He willingly suffered for us, the righteous for the unrighteous. He loved us while we were yet sinners and died for us so we can be made sons of God.
The mandate on our marriage must be fulfilled. Let’s get over all forms of bitterness, malice, and unforgiveness. These are toxic to our being best of friends with our spouse.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 KJV
This scripture is very profound. You must show yourself friendly to have your spouse as your friend.
The question is some of us don’t even know to be friends. We must aim at being friends with our spouses. I believe the Holy Spirit, the spirit of truth and revelation will help us if we ask Him to.
Some ways to being friends with your spouse
1. Maintaining the right attitude and positive disposition is important. 2. Kind words and loving words. Every human being responds to love. 3. Believing the best of each other. 4. Being fun to be with. 5. Not pointing attention to the weak areas of your spouse. 6. Encouraging our spouse. 7. Avoiding criticism, accusation, and blaming. 8. Being very understanding.
These are few tips for being there for your spouse.
God help us indeed.
May God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be there for my spouse always.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:24 (CEV)Some friends don’t help, but a true friend is closer than your own family.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be friends with your spouse
Before we cantalk of keeping love ablaze, we have to talk of couples living true to their covenant responsibilities.
First, we should know that our marriages have certain mandate in the heart of God to fulfill.
And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. Malachi 2:13 – 15 MSG
Let’s see how the scripture goes in the Amplified version.
Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. Malachi 2:14 AMPC
So God takes our marriage vows seriously.
Our marriage vows is not just some cute words spoken on our wedding day, it is a promise before God and then to our spouse.
It is this understanding that will help us to see the reason why love must be kept ablaze.
It is a life long work. We have to keep at it at good times and not so good times.
A man of God said, and I quote, “In Covenant of marriage, get it right. Marriage is one area of vulnerability in the Covenant. Don’t allow the arrow of the enemy to pierce you there. Get it right. If the arrow of the enemy pierces you in marriage, you will be struggling to sustain the Covenant”.
If we don’t understand the covenant of marriage, the devil will cause alot of struggles for us in life. Love is not the only ingredient needed in marriage. It’s like cooking a meal. You need a combination of many ingredients in the right proportions, to make a good meal and the skills of the person cooking.
Let’s take a look at what love is from Gods view point
Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7 AMP
We need to remind ourselves often that we are called to love one another for God is love. We are born of God so we have Gods nature in us. We just have to be conscious of it and walk in it. We have to respond to the nature of God that we carry.
Our aim should be to love. The bible says we should love our enemies how much more our spouses. We are to consciously and intentionally love our spouse.
This is what we have been called to.
May God help us in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will work in Jesus name.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us to do things that will draw us closer to each other.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows]. Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Have you seen couples married for over 15 years? One thing that strikes you is that they begin to look alike. There’s just something that makes them closer and begins to look alike. Well, it’s not a fast and hard rule that couples who have been together for years should look alike.
I guess that is the reason why the bible says, the two shall become one flesh. I guess they truly become one flesh in the real sense of the word. The truth is that, if you want to remain close and knitted together, there are some things you should be doing on a regular basis. It keeps you together.
I would try and mention 10 of those things. You can add up to this list but just make sure in your own relationship you have found what it is that draws you closer to each other.
1. Eat together on one plate or on the dinner table. This may not be suitable for every couple. Some may not like it, but this has helped keep couples together.
2. Go to church together in the same car. It may be a time of bonding for couples who may have been busy throughout the week and have more than 1 car.
3. Go to the same church and have the same pastor and mentor. They hear and drink from the same spiritual source and hear the same instructions about fasting, giving which normally could cause discord in marriage.
4. Have same friends, go to the same functions and ceremonies together. Couples stay closer when they unwind together by having the same friends and attend parties together.
5. They sleep in the same room on the same bed. Couples are known to look alike the more they sleep together and share the same room.
6. They have regular intercourse together. This is known to bind them together and is the real thing that makes them get closer and look alike.
7. They Laugh, dance, sing and play games together. The more couples recreate together, the more the bond between them gets stronger.
8. They overcome their challenges together. When couples face problems and pass through challenging situations together, it draws them closer to each other.
9. When couples bathe together. It is a form of being naked and not ashamed, it draws couples together.
10. Study their bibles together and pray together. When couples do spiritual activities together they tend to grow fond of each other and grow to look alike.
It is like the triangle of marriage. God is at the tip or top, husband and wife are at the two sides. The more they go after God, the closer they become. The more they draw away from God, the more they grow apart.
Make God or godly principles your priority and you will grow closer as a couple.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY As couples, we grow closer as the day goes by.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help us to do things that will draw us closer to each other.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 2:25 ‘And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.”
What do you do when things seem tough? There are times when everything just seems okay. Life is just good. You look at your bank account and smile. There are cars in the garage. The children are doing well, nice school. Your spouse is just so nice. The money keeps rolling into your account. No stress.
During weekends you have all the time with your family. During holidays, you and the family get to travel out of the country.
Your wife comes home on time, prepares a good meal. Your house is really yours and it is fine. It has all things set. The generator, fridge, freezer, microwave oven, dishwasher, washing machine, everything is set.
You look around and you are so grateful and fulfilled, not asking for anything. This looks like that perfect life everybody prays for. Everything is just working right. You have no prayer points except that God should bless your friends and neighbors.
Well, many of us are not there yet. In fact, many are still far from there. Many are at the stage where they are trusting God, praying to God for one thing or another, where they don’t have it all together. In fact, they are at the opposite of life is good.
At such times, one has to hold on, be patient, Be thankful and grateful, keep at what you know works, and give God praise. Be a God praiser. Of all the things that would have made you complain, praise God instead.
Turn it into a praise report. Let your voice be loud and clear in praises. It is when joy withers that prosperity and testimony withers.
When as a married couple, your home seems like nothing is happening. It’s time to turn on the volume of your praise and thanksgiving.
Jesus got to the tomb of Lazarus, he was met with an impossible situation. He gave thanks and rejoiced. In the feeding of the 4,000 where he only had a lad’s supper, he gave thanks.
When the going gets rough, it’s time to get to thanks and praise. You have enough to complain about. Things are not working but give thanks. When you give thanks, things will begin to open up and yield their abundance.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I give thanks, no matter what happens.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let me see that despite every thing you can work a miracle of provision
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Php 4:19 (KJV) But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be thankful. Be praise-ful
