Embarking on the journey of marriage demands careful consideration and preparation to ensure a smooth and joyful experience. Just as travelers aim to travel light, couples should shed any unnecessary baggage that could hinder their marital voyage. This article explores three key areas that individuals should address before saying ‘I do,’ emphasizing the importance of a solid foundation for a blissful marriage.
1. Shedding the Weight of Laziness
Marriage is a venture for the mature – spiritually, mentally, and physically. The vitality and ability to work play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy marriage. For wives, managing the household involves substantial effort, and laziness can detrimentally impact the family dynamic.
The ability to cook, for instance, is not just a skill but a responsibility that, when neglected, can expose a husband to external influences. Even with assistance, wives should not completely delegate their responsibilities, as multitasking becomes essential when children enter the picture.
Husbands, too, must embrace hard work to sustain the family. Poverty often plagues families when the husband lacks motivation, is complacent, or fails to set and achieve goals. Before entering into marriage, individuals must relinquish lazy tendencies and commit to being proactive contributors to their family’s well-being.
Marriage necessitates a departure from certain single lifestyle habits. Late nights and prolonged socializing with friends are examples of behaviors that should be left behind. Successfully merging two lives requires a willingness to let go of the old to embrace the new.
Some individuals mistakenly attempt to maintain a bachelor or spinster lifestyle while enjoying the benefits of marriage. For instance, a wife accustomed to simple meals like cornflakes and noodles may need to adapt to prepare more elaborate dishes when her husband desires a higher culinary standard. Compromise is essential, especially when both partners have hectic work schedules.
3. Embracing Responsibility
Responsibility is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. The commitment extends beyond personal desires to encompass the well-being of the spouse and family. Married individuals carry the weight of their family’s concerns in all aspects of life, influencing decisions and actions.
Married life demands a responsible approach, and societal expectations reflect this. Dressing inappropriately, for instance, contradicts the expected behavior of a married person. Travel decisions, too, must be made with consideration for the impact on the family. Being responsible in various aspects of life contributes to a harmonious and fulfilling marital journey.
In conclusion, a successful marriage requires intentional efforts to address crucial aspects before taking the plunge. By shedding laziness, transitioning from singlehood, and embracing responsibility, couples can build a strong foundation for a lifelong partnership. This ensures a journey filled with patience, understanding, and the shared goal of a blissful and enduring marriage.
In a world filled with complexities, the tug-of-war between succumbing to sexual pressures and resisting its allure is an age-old struggle. Understanding the underlying reasons can empower you to make informed decisions. Let’s delve into the dual facets of desire and means that often fuel these pressures.
1. Desire: Embracing the Temptation
The first catalyst behind yielding to sexual pressures is desire. It emanates from an intense attraction, where the visual allure of the forbidden promises to satiate profound longings. The sin whispers promises of satisfaction, and the heart, captivated by what it sees, is enticed to take a plunge.
The second motivator is the perception of sex as a means to an end. It becomes a tool to resolve immediate need, be it financial, a pathway to promotion, a sought-after gift, or a form of retaliation. In this context, the pressure is not just a desire but a calculated move to fulfill a specific need.
Navigating the Dilemma: A Choice to Make
Whether driven by desire, means, or a blend of both, it’s crucial to recognize the pressure for what it is, an external force vying for your surrender. Remember, you are the arbiter of your decisions.
1 Corinthians 10:13 provides solace, affirming that no temptation is insurmountable. God, a steadfast ally, ensures you won’t be pushed beyond your limits. Despite being hard-pressed, you are not destroyed, for the divine within you surpasses worldly pressures.
Overcoming Pressure: A Decision Solely Yours
Drawing inspiration from the lives of Joseph and Samson, individuals with great destinies, we see divergent paths chosen when faced with sexual pressures.
Samson’s Regrettable Choice
Despite divine favor and a prophesied birth, Samson succumbed to the momentary delights of sin, forfeiting his destined greatness. His inability to master his desires led to a tragic detour.
Joseph’s Resolute Stand
In contrast, Joseph, lacking supernatural announcements, faced organized sexual pressures with determination. He chose to flee, recognizing the value of his destiny over momentary pleasures. His decisiveness and refusal to compromise became the pillars of his victory.
Mastering Sexual Pressures: A Proactive Approach
Joseph’s method is instructive, dealing with sexual pressures headlong. Make decisions that prioritize the future over fleeting pleasures. Mastering these pressures involves valuing your destiny, and preserving it at all costs.
A Prayer for Strength and Wisdom
In closing, let us seek divine grace, strength, wisdom, and courage to navigate the complex landscape of sexual pressures. May our choices not disappoint heaven, and may God establish and honor us as we stand firm against these pressures.
You will not miss your path, and in Jesus’ name, may you be established and honored by the divine.
A priest at a wedding ceremony captured this piece of advice to the groom. He gave it as the condition to which the groom must fulfill as a husband.
All men in the house, if you want to enjoy your marriage and enjoy maximally the ministry of your wife as your help mate follow these advice.
1. Be the spiritual leader
Your wife needs you to be a spiritual leader in the marriage. Be someone she can look up to in times of challenges, and crisis and someone who gives spiritual guidance.
2. Affirmation and Appreciation
Your wife continually needs rich doses of affirmations and appreciation. Affirm her. Let your words strengthen her. Don’t discourage her. Give her wings to fly. Let your wife become better being married to you. Appreciate her efforts. To appreciate, you must first of all acknowledge her contributions. Don’t be stingy with your affirmations and appreciation. Let your wife be able to say, I married a good man who truly celebrates me.
The first lady in your life needs lots of romance. She will never outgrow little romantic gestures like buying her little meaningful gifts. Being courteous to her. Treating her with respect like listening to her when she speaks. It simply means treating her every way you can as your queen. If you will not talk harshly or rudely to a queen, then don’t do that to her.
3. Intimate Communication
The woman God has given to you needs intimate communication. Let her know how human you are. Don’t paint the picture of a superhuman to her. Let her know she is needed and valuable. Open up your fears to her. Ask her sincerely for her prayers. Let her communicate freely and honestly without the fear of being judged or criticized.
4. She needs you to betransparent
Some husbands keep important information from their wives. They feel their wives won’t be able to handle such information. On the contrary, your wife is made to handle the truth and do something about it. She may be emotional about it, but once she’s done she looks for ways to handle it.
So be open and very transparent with your wife. When you need her comfort, her attention let her know, don’t throw tantrums. Talk, don’t sulk.
5. She Needs Home Support
Make sure she and her children are well catered for. Don’t let her feel her demands are too much. It is your responsibility to fix every need in the house. She assists when she can. Please don’t see it as a right to demand, but be grateful for every support she renders. Her comfort is your responsibility. Ask her how you can make her more comfortable. Don’t be unconcerned about her struggles.
7. She Needs Someone Who IsCommitted to the Family
Family commitment is a very important need for your wife. She must know that after God she comes next. Put the needs of the children and hers as top priority. Let every other person come only after your wife and children. Make sure you verbalize your commitment to your wife and your children.
Make sure your wife and children flourish and thrive under your watch. Build up courage and strength in your wife, who will be your support system. Invest in whatever may be her shortcoming. Build strength consciously into your children, they are the ones that matter most because they bear your name and are like arrows shot into the future. Take time to explain things to them. Let them be free to ask you questions and set up conversations with them. Be transparent with them, let them know where you stand.
Do all these and you will have built a strong support system for yourself spiritually, emotionally, financially, socially, and otherwise.
Yesterday I spoke about transitioning from a Girl to a lady, to a wife, and a mother. We see how it’s of necessity we grow and develop at each stage so we can mature at each level and do as it is required of us.
Today we will be looking at the male version and how we are to develop at every stage of our lives.
You are a male by birth but we become a man by choice. You become a man by taking some deliberate steps or actions
John 9:21 NKJV but by what means he now sees we do not know, or who opened his eyes we do not know. He is of age; ask him. He will speak for himself.
Being a man describes one who can speak for himself. Most guys have identity crises. They can’t speak up for what they believe. Your ‘manhood’ starts when you can stand up for a godly course.
You grow from being a boy to becoming a man, mature emotionally, mentally, financially spiritually.
Until you are a mature man you are not qualified to be a husband or to be married.
There are so many married boys. It’s not your age that makes you a man.
Being a husband is a responsibility. Husband is from the word ‘husbandry’ which means ‘the care, cultivation, and breeding of crops and animals’.
It also means ‘management and conservation of resources’. A husband must be equipped to bind his home together. He should be able to manage the human resources of his wife and children. He cultivates and brings out the best in his wife and children.
When we have immature men becoming husbands, we have all sorts of marital problems. We have unfaithful men. Men who can’t be committed to their wives or their children.
They have not learned how to be committed to God. They can be selfish, don’t know how to manage their emotions, and don’t know. how to be vulnerable, sincere, and transparent with their wives.
A good. husband is an effective father, the source of life. Many boys are becoming fathers. What a tragedy of destiny. It is only boys that allow their erection to determine their direction.
Let every man and the ladies that love them and love the next generation, take up the responsibility of getting matured. Enough of half-baked men causing crisis in marriages.
Let them become the proper servant leaders, God ordained them to be. Men who truly love their wives like Christ love the church and gave Himself for her.
Every female gender starts as a girl. As a girl you are all pretty, flawless, innocent, saintly, naive, and all shades of sweetness. You see a young girl and you want to cuddle her.
I can bet you, girls are made for cuddles and kisses.
Every girl born is like a clean slate. To become a lady, you need to be informed. As your body transforms, other aspects of your life also need to be transformed. You are not just all ‘body’. You are a container with content.
The problem however is that failure to fully and properly transform from one stage of development to another affects the proper growth in the other stage.
A girl that doesn’t fully develop cannot become a lady in the right sense of the word.
A lady is one equipped with all the right knowledge and has developed mental capacity in all necessary areas. Financial, emotional (she is mature and has emotional intelligence), psychological, spiritual, mental, etc.
She has matured from being just a girl. She is not just concerned about her body and her looks.
From being a lady, the proper order is to move from being a lady to being a wife.
Marriage is not what makes a lady a wife. You become a wife before you are married
Proverbs 18:22 NKJV He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
The man obtains favor from the Lord because the Lord has taken time to work on the lady turning her into a wife
A wife is emotionally mature, selfless, and ready to submit to the right order of things as constituted by God. She is submitted to her husband. She has learned that to win the heart of your husband takes more than your looks or your body, it takes wisdom.
When you are fully developed as a wife, you are qualified to be a mother indeed. You don’t become a mother by just giving birth to a baby. You are a mother because you can pass the same godly principles to the next generation and nurture godly seeds.
There is so much crisis in society because girls are not becoming ladies and ladies are not maturing to become wives and mothers.
What we have are ladies becoming or performing wifely roles and being mothers. Little wonder about the chaos in marriages.
May we reverse the order and be on course to be godly women in Jesus’ name!
