It’s time for a bit of real talk – physical attraction matters. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who makes you cringe when you see them in the morning. Aim for that “Wow, you look amazing” vibe, not the “how did I get here” morning scream.
Go for somebody you are attracted to! You don’t want to spend the next fifty years married to somebody you don’t appreciate or be proud of because of money! You sure want to get married to somebody that will make you happy. If you spend half the time wishing you had married somebody else because of appearance, it will affect your productivity and you won’t be able to give your best as a spouse!
4. Romance 101 – Mutual Love and Romance:
Now, let’s dive into the lovey-dovey stuff. Mutual love and romance are like bread and butter – a classic combo. Do you know the scriptures want you to stay loved up with your spouse after the wedding and to fill your heart with his or her thoughts?
Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose–– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! (Proverbs 5:19 Message)
5. Life Purpose Jam – Purpose and Destiny Alignment:
Lastly, we’re getting deep into life talk. Make sure your life purposes align. It’s not a business merger, but you want to ensure you’re both heading in the same direction. No one wants to wake up one day and realize they’re lost in a crazy marital maze!
Do you have a definite assignment from God? Make sure marriage doesn’t swallow up your love for God. There is nothing as terrible as being married with total loss of fulfillment and the nagging thought that you are out of God’s purpose.
When you are head over heels in love, these are some of the things to discuss. Purpose and destiny discussions, not sexual discussions. Alignment in the mind, not in the body!
Hey there! So, you’re on the quest for the perfect life buddy? Let’s break down the five must-haves in a potential spouse.
I met my wife when I was twenty-four and she was twenty-one, while on campus, some twenty-eight years ago! And yes, there was something I was looking out for even though I was young then! Let’s take a look at a few of these elements as they will help us in our quest for a godly lover!
The Big G – Fear of God:
Alright, first things first – the fear of God. Not the “oops, I forgot to do my chores” kind of fear, but more like having a super cool and understanding boss. Beauty fades! Beauty is not the first thing. Some strange women are beautiful and some wicked men are handsome.
But if you are blessed with a handsome man or a beautiful woman who also has the fear of God, you are blessed indeed.
Do you know why I have been faithful to my wife? Do you know why I don’t have girlfriends all over the place? The only reason I have not compromised is that I have the FEAR OF GOD! That was what Joseph had and he ran away from free sex. So, go for the fear of God! Beware of people who have the fear of God temporarily just to get what they want.
Keeping It Real – Integrity and Sincerity:
Next up, we’re talking honesty, integrity, and no cheating at board games!
The scripture says something powerful: The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. (Proverbs 11:3 KJV)
Now, if you come up with arguments like, there is no sincere man, every man is bad and this and that, that is what you will attract. You cannot attract what you don’t believe exists! Don’t conclude on humanity because of your experience with one man! All men are wicked, you are wrong! All ladies are stupid, you are wrong as well. You need to renew your mind by God’s word and to believe God for the best.
I will conclude this topic tomorrow. Good morning!
How should a person love their fiancee or spouse? That is what I will be looking at this morning. Love is an action word and if there are no actions to show you love her, you don’t love her in the real sense. Just like respect is a big deal for the guys and it is God’s order that their fiancee and wife respect them out of honor to God and not necessarily because he deserves it.
The same way, God expects and requires that every man loves his own fiancee.
One of the marks of maturity is when a man has the ability to overlook the weakness of his fiancee and despite all, still love her unconditionally.
Eph 5:25 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.
As husbands-to-be, you are to model Christ. Your leadership role is that of a servant leader. Your headship over her is not an authoritarian rule but one marked with sacrificial love.
One that is patient and kind. One that is meant to nurture and bring out the best in her.
Loving your fiancee begins from the time of your courtship and not when you are married. You start walking by the principle of genuine, God kind of love. This love definitely does not include sleeping with her or dishonoring her body. Any guy who sleeps with a lady before marrying her has shown the highest level of dishonor for the lady. That definitely is not love.
I do not condemn any body because most of these things were done in ignorance. But repentance is needed especially now that you know. Not engaging in pre-maritals is the honor you give to God that the marriage institution is ordained by God.
You are to love her like your own body because she actually is. You begin to learn to treat your fiancee as you would treat yourself. Treat her with dignity, don’t shout on her. Don’t shut her up. Don’t ignore her or her opinions. Don’t compare her to other ladies, don’t put attention on her weak areas.
Learn to celebrate her, appreciate her and hold her in high esteem.
Loving her is every man’s God given assignment. Don’t fail in this assignment.
We started on this yesterday! We will continue this morning!
3. Out of all my girlfriends, you are the best
This is often a logical way to manipulate the emotions of the lady. As a lady, I don’t know what you are doing with someone who tells you out-rightly that you are not the only one he is seeing.
Are you encouraging adultery after marriage and giving him the go-ahead? Men don’t change after marriage! When a man has the guts to tell you that he has several ladies as lovers including you, then as a lady you should have the guts to walk away from such affliction!
4. We don’t have to tell anybody about this relationship
When a guy begins to make this statement, your antenna should go up! Something is defective right there. There are no commitments when he hides the relationship from friends and family.
There may be occasions when the parents are not interested in marriage and it is wise to keep quiet for some time, but at least, he should be willing to notify his pastor. What if he doesn’t have a pastor? The answer to that is another question. What are you doing with such a person?
5. I am just managing you and you should thank your stars
When a guy doesn’t love you, he will verbalize it one day, one way or the other. If you are sensitive, you can pick it up from his words. When a guy says he is just managing you, that sounds like wickedness to me.
Probably the lady in question has a self-esteem issue, but as a lady, you don’t have any business with anybody who doesn’t value you or appreciate you as a person. After marriage, you don’t want to be treated as a doormat, you want to be valued as a help.
Problems don’t just erupt like a volcano in relationships and marriage. They have always been there. Sometimes, we close our eyes to all the warning signs and red lights because we are in love. It is however wise to be alert and be open to take heed of all these warning signs.
God is not a wicked God. He will attempt to talk to you through His Holy Spirit and try to warn you about some of these things. It is always good to pay attention and try to listen to what God is trying to say! Here are some statements that are symptomatic of deeper issues!
1. There is nothing wrong with sex. Everybody does it
One statement that reflects deeper issues is when a partner tries to justify premarital sex by saying “there’s nothing wrong with it, everybody does it.
When a guy begins to pressurize you to compromise using logic and persuasion tactics, it shows he doesn’t love you. All he wants is your body and once he gets that, anything can happen. As the lady, you are responsible for preserving your virtue by insisting on waiting till after marriage.
A guy who truly loves you will be willing to wait as against satisfying his rush of adrenalin at your disadvantage. God’s word is so clear on premarital sex and any guy that loves you and fears God should be looking for ways to obey God, not the other way.
2. I may not call you or send SMS often. You have to understand.
Another sign to consider is when a partner is distant and fails to communicate regularly.
When a guy loves you genuinely, he wants to be in touch. He wants to call, send SMS, or chat. He just wants to stay in touch one way or the other. I know there are times he can get so busy depending on the intensity of his work or the level of attention needed, but I also believe he should be able to talk to his loved one daily, even if it is for five minutes.
A brief conversation or text message can demonstrate thoughtfulness and caring, and a partner who is genuinely in love will prioritize staying connected regardless of external factors
The only tenable reason is when he is working where there are no networks, which could be rare. Even at that, a guy who is in love will climb mountains; go to the top of buildings, and hold his phone high in the sky searching for network!
Overall, these signals indicate potential relationship issues that should not be dismissed. Recognizing and addressing them early on can help maintain a healthy and loving connection. It’s essential to value and respect oneself, and to seek a partner who shares the same values and is willing to invest in a mutually fulfilling and loving relationship.
