The Secret Sauce – Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage
Finding Agreement in Marriage
Marriage was designed by God to be a covenant of exclusivity and intimacy between a man and a woman. A lasting marriage is God´s will. However, many couples struggle to find agreement and live in peace. In this article, we will discuss the root causes of unfaithfulness in a marriage, based on the message shared by Apostle Arome. By understanding these causes and applying the biblical principles outlined, couples can build a strong foundation for an enduring marriage of agreement.
What Are the Causes of Unfaithfulness in Marriage?
1. Soul Ties and Their Implications.
According to Apostle Arome, soul ties are spiritual connections formed when a person becomes intimate with another person through sexual relations or prolonged emotional attachment. Apostle Arome shares that soul ties act as “pathways” that allow demons to traffic between people and oppress or manipulate them.
A common way soul ties are formed is through pre-marital sexual relationships. The pastor explained that these relationships leave a person in a “vicious circle of connection” to former partners that can negatively impact their current marriage. Demons and spiritual problems can be transferred through this soul tie “highways.”
2. Lack of a Regulator in Marriage.
A regulator for the marriage is one of the keys to a lasting marriage. Apostle Arome used the analogy of an electric fan without a thermostat to illustrate what happens when a marriage lacks a “regulator.” Just as an uncontrolled fan could cause harm, an unregulated marriage where both partners do not submit to God’s authority is at risk of “crashing.”
When unbelievers marry without acknowledging God, there is no spiritual “regulator” to keep the relationship balanced. While they may live together, they are truly just “cohabiting” rather than in a covenant marriage as designed by God. This leaves the relationship vulnerable to demonic interference through unaddressed soul ties and other openings.
3. How Do You Prevent Unfaithfulness?
The first way to prevent unfaithfulness is to commit to God’s Regulations for Marriage.
For a marriage to be protected from unfaithfulness, both partners must commit their relationship fully to God as the supreme authority and regulator. They should see marriage as a blood covenant instituted by God, not just a legal contract. By willingly submitting to God’s regulations on marriage in the Bible, such as mutual exclusivity and intimacy only with each other, couples place themselves under God’s covering and protection.
4. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Accountability and Transparency with Each Other.
The pastor emphasized the importance of accountability between spouses. If one feels attracted to someone else, they should openly tell their partner instead of hiding it. Regular communication and transparency about thoughts and feelings can help address issues before they escalate. It also prevents the devil from taking advantage of cracks in the relationship.
5. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Working Through Misunderstandings with Understanding.
The testimony shared revealed how a disagreement led to a loss of attraction between the couple. Apostle Arome counseled resolving issues through understanding instead of driving one’s spouse away. During challenging times like pregnancy, husbands must learn their wife’s changing needs with patience. With open communication and a willingness to understand each other, misunderstandings need not lead to unfaithfulness.
6. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Identifying and Breaking Soul Ties.
Apostle Arome emphasized that deliverance must be deliberately sought to break soul ties formed in the past through pre-marital relationships. One must write down the names of all former sexual partners and repent fully of those acts. Breaking the associated soul ties requires calling on God to sever the spiritual connections.
7. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Fasting and Prayer for Complete Deliverance.
Complete deliverance from past soul ties and their effects may require an extended period of fasting and prayer. Apostle Arome noted it can take up to nine months of consistently rejecting demonic suggestions and images that surface.
But with persistence, one can be fully freed from the oppression of the past through God’s power. The fast also helps destroy appetites of the flesh that open doors to unfaithfulness. We will stop here today and continue with part 2 tomorrow!
11 Marriages That Must Not Take Place By Dr. D.K Olukoya
Introduction
I agree that wrong marriages can seriously damage our lives and futures. In this post, I will discuss Dr. Olukoya’s guidelines on 40 types of marriages that must be avoided. By learning to identify and steer clear of such unions, we can protect ourselves from unnecessary hardship. I will explore each kind of problematic marriage and explain why it should not take place.
Number 1. Fast food marriages.
Fast food marriages are based solely on physical attraction and lustful desires, rather than true love and compatibility. When the initial infatuation fades, as it always does, the relationship collapses. Marrying for looks or sexual chemistry alone is a recipe for divorce once those surface-level attractions disappear.
Number 2. Serpent in the pocket marriages.
A “serpent in the pocket” marriage is one where one spouse hides their real character flaws and intentions until after the wedding. Once committed, the deceptive person’s true colors emerge, often in a toxic manner that poisons the relationship. Founding a marriage on deception lays the groundwork for major betrayal and breach of trust down the road.
Number 3. Marrying the enemy.
Marrying someone you perceive as an enemy or competitor is asking for trouble. Unresolved negative feelings like dislike, mistrust, or a history of conflict do not make for a solid foundation for marriage. Even minor disagreements can easily escalate when underlying enmity exists. It is usually best to maintain distance from adversaries rather than legally binding yourself to them through marriage. Trying to change an enemy into a spouse often backfires.
Number 4. Marrying late in life hastily.
Those marrying later in life after previous relationships have ended may feel lonely or pressured to settle down quickly. However, rushing into marriage without properly evaluating the partner’s character can be imprudent. When loneliness or deadlines override good judgment, marriages entered into hastily tend to end in regret. It is wise not to compromise the standards of a compatible life partner just to avoid singleness. Taking the time to know someone fully is critical for long-term success.
Number 5. Half and half marriages.
Half-and-half marriages combine two incompatible halves that are doomed to clash. This occurs when partners of different faiths, cultures, or backgrounds enter marriage with unresolved differences. Over time, disagreements over issues like religion, in-laws, or child-rearing tend to intensify rather than diminish tension. For lasting peace, spouses must be fully united.
Number 6. Red Cross Society marriages.
Red Cross Society marriages refer to unions formed due to accidental pregnancy before marriage. While having a child does require responsibility, rushing to marry the other parent does not guarantee the couple is ready or suited to building a healthy family together long-term. Careful discernment is still needed.
Number 7. Demonic consultation marriages.
Demonic consultation marriages were explained as occurring when a partner seeks guidance from occult forces like astrology, witch doctors, or other ungodly sources rather than relying on God’s will. Putting faith in spiritual powers runs contrary to biblical teaching and exposes the marriage to harmful manipulation and control from demonic entities. God alone should direct our paths.
Number 8. Witchcraft marriages.
Witchcraft marriages are those involving spouses with a background or family history steeped in witchcraft, idolatry, or other demonic practices. Such spiritual baggage has toxic consequences, as the marriage itself may become a battleground for conflicting spiritual influences and ideologies that undermine harmony.
Number 9. Syringe marriages.
Syringe marriages occur when a partner has a history of drug abuse or addiction. Substance issues often stem from deeper problems, and getting clean is a long process even after rehab. Marrying an unreformed addict risks exposing yourself and any future children to harm from relapses or associated unhealthy behaviors. Stability must be established first before committing to such a union.
Number 10. Diabetes marriages.
Diabetes marriages involve partners with uncontrolled medical conditions like diabetes that require intensive management. The strain of caring for an ill spouse’s needs can drain both physical and emotional resources from the relationship. Health must be reasonably stable to ensure both spouses’ well-being and ability to fulfill their roles before marriage
Number 11. Marrying out of pity.
Marrying out of pity rather than genuine love or compatibility is unfair to both partners. Pity seeks to fulfill an ego need to help someone, but true care requires considering the other person’s long-term well-being and ensuring the relationship is healthy for both sides. Otherwise, it risks becoming a crutch rather than a partnership.
In conclusion, while the heart wants what it wants, marriage is not merely an emotional affair but a serious life commitment. Entering without fully considering factors like spirituality, values, health, background, and long-term goals nearly guarantees problems down the road. Rather than acting on fleeting feelings or circumstances, take time to carefully discern true compatibility in all areas before making a vow. Building on a firm foundation of mutual understanding and agreement increases the chances of a stable, fruitful union.
Top 56 Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer – Part 2
The Marriage of Dave and Joyce Meyer has been for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer. This is Part 2. Read Part 1 Here.
Forgiving Quickly to Avoid Strife.
29. Satan wants strife but God wants peace. Joyce shares how realizing this, and refusing to get offended has helped. Forgiving and letting things go is key to avoiding discord.
30. Joyce and Dave warn against expecting overnight fixes. Trials often intensify before peace emerges, so persevering shows faith in God’s unseen hand at work.
31. The key is learning to accommodate each other. For example, while Dave may think Joyce’s processing style is “just wasted breath,” refraining from dismissive comments and listening respectfully goes a long way. Likewise, Joyce can try viewing situations from her husband’s logical perspective, even if she needs further discussion.
32. With patience and compromise, couples can diffuse tensions simply by acknowledging how their brains work differently.
33. Holding onto offenses is one of the surest ways to damage a marriage.
34. Joyce shared how she struggled with this early in her relationship with Dave but realized harboring resentment only benefits the devil.
35. The sooner spouses forgive small slights and absorb the word of love from First Corinthians 13, the smoother their union will go. “Love keeps no record of wrongs” is a radical concept in relationships but brings tremendous peace when applied.
36. Forgiveness also requires making a daily choice not to dwell on past hurts.
37. As Joyce said, the more one ruminates on offenses, the deeper the roots of bitterness take hold. But nipping issues in the bud through quick forgiveness keeps relationships clean and harmony intact. This helped the Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer a lot.
38. With practice, this can become second nature for even the most sensitive partners. Remember – it’s not about condoning bad actions but releasing the right to retaliate so love can reign free.
Seeing the Best in Each Other.
39. Dave lets Joyce be herself fully. Joyce has learned to see Dave’s logic as balancing her emotions, not opposing her. They’ve found humor in each other instead of aggravation.
40. Beyond communication gaps, every couple has their endearing idiosyncrasies that can push buttons if left unchecked. The Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer indeed is a great inspiration across the world.
41. Joyce humorously pointed out little habits of Dave’s, like noisily eating cereal or purposefully banging dishes louder when irritated, that get under her skin. However, she realized God made them with these distinct traits intentionally, perhaps for their own amusement.
42. We must appreciate our spouses as whole individuals rather than demanding they change harmless peculiarities.
Prioritizing Safety in Toxic Situations
43. While God hates divorce, abuse is never okay. If danger exists, safety comes first by distancing oneself until help is found. Otherwise, prayer and God’s guidance are vital.
44. While the above advice focuses on minor marital tensions, dangerously toxic relationships require a different approach to prioritizing safety.
45. Joyce rightly cautioned those in abusive situations to remove themselves and children from harm’s way, as God never intended endangerment. Additionally, prayerfully considering counseling or legal protection may become necessary steps of wisdom.
46. The role of prayer cannot be overstated even in these dire circumstances.
47. Communing continuously with Christ brings His empowerment, perspective, and discernment for the next steps.
48. Rather than facing challenges alone in one’s strength, total reliance on God’s guidance through Scripture and stillness lifts the heavy burden.
49. His perfect love casts out all fear as His plan and protection unfold. With His intervention, seemingly impossible problems dissolve. Love is a constant factor in the Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer.
Applying God’s Love.
50. Focusing on patience, kindness, and protecting the relationship helps. Seeing each other through God’s loving eyes transforms perspectives.
51. His Word shows us how to think of our spouse and ourselves.
52. Joyce emphasized consistently seeking God first in all matters, from minor annoyances to profound crises.
53. His love far surpasses any human love and fills what is lacking when spouses apply it through obedience, prayer, and wisdom
54. Together with Dave for decades, she stands as proof of the peace and joy available when Christ forms the foundation of a union.
55. With His help, couples can rise above natural tendencies to impatience, resentment, or control
56. In summarizing this discussion on marriage, the key lessons are to go into marriage with clear communication about expectations, to accept your spouse for who they are rather than trying to change them, and to rely on God’s wisdom in navigating disagreements and difficult seasons
Conclusion
While differences will arise, focusing on each other’s positive qualities and prioritizing individual responsibility for happiness can help strengthen the bond. With patience, compromise when needed, and a commitment to a lifelong partnership, a marriage has the potential to grow deeper in love and understanding over decades.
Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer
Joyce and Dave Meyer have been married for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some invaluable insights on how to build a strong, God-honoring marriage.
1. Joyce and Dave Meyer discuss the ups and downs of their early marriage and how their thinking has changed over the years.
2. Dave knew marriage was forever so he never thought about changing Joyce or leaving if things didn’t improve.
3. They had to learn about each other through experiences and God helped Dave deal with difficult situations. Over decades, Joyce and Dave Meyer learned to accept each other fully as God designed.
4. Dave applies relevant scriptures like Ephesians 5:28 to situations rather than dwelling on problems.
5. Joyce explains she came from a difficult childhood which manifested in erratic, emotionally volatile behaviors in their first years of marriage. She recalls giving Dave the silent treatment for weeks at a time when upset.
6. Dave remained steadfast, understanding where Joyce’s hurt originated while navigating ups and downs to learn about her. He displayed remarkable strength and commitment to their vows.
Common Mistakes in Marriage.
7. Trying to change your spouse instead of letting them be who they are. Realizing their unique qualities complement one another affirms God’s plan for oneness in marriage.
8. Joyce acknowledges trying to change Dave was misguided since transformation must come from within.
9. From the start, Dave viewed marriage as permanent, avoiding the “threat” mindset some have of changing or divorcing a spouse.
10. Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse instead of what’s right is a common mistake.
11. Thinking you have to be happy for your spouse to be happy instead of each being responsible for their own happiness.
Handling Differences of Opinion.
12. It’s normal to have different opinions and likes in a marriage.
13. Compromise by allowing each person to decorate their own space.
14. It’s okay to disagree as long as you don’t think your spouse is wrong for having a different view.
15. Joyce recommends couples make a side-by-side list of each other’s positive and negative traits. For her and Dave, the good vastly outweighed the bad. By shifting mental focus to a spouse’s virtues, small flaws seem insignificant.
Dealing with Financial Disagreements.
16. Joyce and Dave Meyer advised that you talk through finances and goals before marriage to avoid surprises.
17. Needs can change over time so revisit financial agreements.
18. Understand each other’s perspectives and fears around money.
Dave’s Experience with Saving Money as a Youth.
19. Dave shares how he learned the value of saving money from a young age. He explains how at 16 years old, he saved one thousand dollars cutting grass and selling items to buy his first car.
20. Dave emphasizes the importance of prioritizing spending money on important goals.
Accepting Each Other as God Made Us.
21. Joyce and Dave Meyer are different. Dave is more logical while Joyce processes things verbally.
22. One frequent source of disagreement between spouses is having differing communication styles.
23. Joyce mentioned how she likes to verbally process situations by talking through all the angles, while Dave prefers a more direct, logical approach. It’s not that either way is wrong, but recognizing these distinctions is important. They’ve realized God made them this way and focusing on each other’s strengths has helped.
24. When Joyce was unhappy, Dave modeled finding joy regardless through stable faith.
25. As Christians, we are not to let others dictate our moods but lead by example. Joyce was inspired to mirror Dave’s contentment.
26. Misunderstandings often arise when partners don’t understand each other’s methods of thinking and reasoning through problems.
27. Surrender fully to God’s design for oneness. Appreciate differences as completing each other.
28. Apply biblical solutions in tough times, not human reasoning. Prioritize your spouse’s well-being through humility, patience, and consistent prayer.
We will continue with Part 2 of Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer tomorrow.
Top 10 Secrets Of Rising To The Top In Marriage with Dr. Becky Enenche
Introduction
If you want a successful marriage that stands the test of time, this article is for you. Many marriages struggle or fail because the vital roles of God, the husband, and the wife’s submission are not properly understood. In this piece, I will explain the secrets to rising to the top in marriage by exploring the God factor, the husband’s role, and what submission from the wife truly means.
The God Factor
It is no secret that God must be at the center of any marriage that hopes to thrive. God is the one who gives dignity and blessing to a marital relationship. He is the one who gives color and meaning to what marriage represents. Rising To The Top In Marriage Is possible with God.
The Bible tells us that “favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.” This shows us that the greatest quality a wife can have is the fear of God, and the same applies to the husband. When both partners put God first in their marriage, it lays the foundation for success. Here are Top 10 Secrets Of Rising To The Top In Marriage
1. God must be at the center.
The very first secret of Rising To The Top In Marriage is realization that God instituted the marriage institution, so He must be at the center for it to fulfill His purpose.
Why must we put God at the center?
a. Putting God at the center eliminates distrust that comes from defiled relationships. Premarital sex erodes love, trust, respect and leads to affairs.
b. God gives direction for the roles of the man and woman, so obeying His word on these roles helps the marriage.
c. A God-centered marriage receives blessings, dignity, and favor from above.
For Rising To The Top In Marriage to be realized, every husband and wife must ensure God is the number one priority in their home. Their relationship with Him must come before anything or anyone else.
Dr. Becky Enenche highlights that the man’s singular assignment as far as a successful marriage is concerned is to love his wife. This is rooted in Ephesians 5 verse 25 which instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. What a tall order that is! There are 5 key ways for a man to love his wife.
2. Be Patient:
Patience is another top secret of Rising To The Top In Marriage. As the weaker vessel, a wife needs patience, understanding, and accommodation from her husband. Rushing her or having unrealistic expectations will breed resentment.
3. Be Kind:
This means taking care of her needs, being considerate of her feelings, opening doors, and generally making her feel cherished through actions.
4. Do Not Insist on Your Own Rights:
A loving husband will be willing to yield his rights or ways sometimes for the good of his wife and family unity.
5. Do Not Be Rude or Arrogant:
Speaking to one’s wife, especially in public, in a demeaning way destroys her dignity and the respect a husband is meant to command. Rising To The Top In Marriage cannot be realized if either spouse is rude and arrogant.
6. Praise Your Wife:
Loving words, compliments, and affirmations are like water for a wife’s soul. They help her to respect and cheerfully submit to her husband.
When a man fully embraces these 5 points, he sets himself and his wife up for success in marriage. But it is a two-way street – the wife also has a role to play.
A wife’s singular assignment in marriage is submission to her husband. This is rooted in Ephesians 5 verse 22 which instructs wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Submission is often misunderstood in today’s society but is vital for a thriving marriage. Here are 4 key aspects of a wife’s biblical submission.
7. Depend on Your Husband:
Look to him for provision, protection, and leadership. This allows him to fulfill his role joyfully. That way, Rising To The Top In Marriage will not be far-fetched.
8. Adapt Yourself to Your Husband:
Be flexible in your ways and accommodate his preferences sometimes to keep peace in the home.
9. Respect Your Husband:
Honor, admire, and hold him in high regard as the head of the home. Respect strengthens a man’s leadership. Respect is a secret of Rising To The Top In Marriage.
10. Praise Your Husband:
As with the husband praising his wife, a wife who makes her man feel valued through words of affirmation and encouragement empowers him.
When a wife embraces these 4 principles of submission, it creates an environment where her husband can love her as Christ loved the church. In turn, this releases blessings in the home. A submissive wife is a barometer for a successful, happy marriage.
Conclusion
In summary, the secrets to rising to the top in marriage are ensuring God is at the center, the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife submits to her husband’s leadership as unto the Lord. When both partners understand and fulfill their God-ordained roles, it creates an ideal environment for a thriving marriage full of joy, peace, and blessings from above.
Some may object that submission seems like oppression. However, as outlined, biblical submission is not about control but about each partner serving the other. It allows both to fulfill their full potential.
When submission is embraced with a pure heart, it leads to a marriage where both partners truly become one flesh.
For those struggling in their marriage, I strongly recommend focusing on the God factor, having the husband study what it means to love like Christ, and the wife learning about joyful biblical submission. Make these secrets a daily reality and watch as your marriage is transformed and rises to new heights.
In closing, if you want your marriage to stand the test of time, put God first, love your spouse sacrificially, and learn to submit to one another through service. Apply these secrets and you will reap an abundant, blessed marriage that will be the envy of those around you.
