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The Pain Paradox in Relationships and Marriage

We had a Master Class for Singles and Couples Yesterday! Did you miss it? Not to worry! You can watch it HERE or simply check below the page.

We learned yesterday about the Pain Paradox, which is similar in principle to ‘Delayed Gratification.’ The Pain Paradox states that the short-term easy leads to the long-term difficult, while the short-term difficult leads to the long-term easy. We ‘pay’ now and ‘play later,’ or we ‘play now’ and ‘pay later.’

I started on this topic yesterday, and we examined five areas where we need to apply the principle of the pain paradox as singles and married couples.

We looked at:

1. Our Spiritual Lives

As singles and married individuals, we need to prioritize our spiritual lives. Developing intimacy with God requires time. So, spend a few minutes every day to enjoy bliss in your life, marriage, or relationship.

2. Our Finances

Money matters a lot in relationships and marriages. Make investments and reap the dividends later. As singles, don’t squander your future trying to impress your significant other. As married individuals, be wise and delay gratification.

Today, we will be looking at:

3. Our Emotional Life

Everyone has emotions, which are what make us behave the way we do. There are negative emotions that we need to eliminate from our lives. These negative emotions can prevent us from experiencing joy and harmony in our relationships and marriages.

When we know we have certain bad habits, it is crucial for us to find books that address such tendencies. It is foolish to continue living in a way that causes our loved ones pain, saying ‘that is who I am.’ The responsibility is ours to make necessary adjustments.

4. Our Physical Life

More specifically, our health. We need to take care of our bodies. Our bodies house the spirit of the Lord. They house our gifts, talents, destinies, and everything good about us. God gave us our bodies as a jacket or suit to enable us to function and live on this earth. Once this ‘jacket’ wears out, death is inevitable.

Please be mindful of what you eat. You are what you eat. Don’t dig your grave with your teeth by consuming unhealthy foods. What you eat also affects you. Ignorance is not an excuse; educate yourself about your diet.

Ladies, the kitchen is your domain; help your husband and children stay healthy. Don’t contribute to your husband’s health decline. Wives, be cautious about preparing heavy meals like pounded yam and egusi at 11 pm. Consuming too much beef is harmful.

Whether you are single or married, take your health seriously. Know your health status. Monitor your blood pressure, check your kidneys, undergo a liver function test, and check your cholesterol level. Do a health check-up. It doesn’t have to be expensive.

Take care of your body, what you do to it, and what you do with it.

5. Our Family

For singles, you belong to a family before you start your own. Invest your best into your family. Don’t cause your mother sleepless nights and heartache. Uphold the family name. Be a good child to your parents. Make them proud. Let every remembrance of you be a cause for thanksgiving.

As a married couple, raise your children in the ways of the Lord, and when they are old, they will not stray from it. Unite your family members in love. Be under the grace of God, and He will show you mercy in Jesus’ mighty name.

God bless our homes and relationships.


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