You know, when I read Ephesians 4:32, it got me thinking about something really important for couples.
Eph 4:32 (KJV) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
The verse suggests three key things: being kind to one another, having a tender heart, and forgiving each other. I think these are super crucial in marriage and can help iron out a lot of issues, you know?
Imagine having a kind and gentle partner – it’s like having a shield against unnecessary arguments. And being tender-hearted? It’s all about treating each other with the same love and care a mom gives her newborn. What if we could be that tender in our relationships? I bet there would be less yelling and definitely no hurtful words thrown around.
Then, there’s the part about forgiving one another. This one’s powerful. Holding onto bitterness can be toxic, so why not just forgive quickly and completely? I like how The Message translation puts it: “Be gentle with one another, sensitive, and forgive as quickly and thoroughly as God forgave you.”
Taking on this attitude of compassion, understanding, and love can change the game. It can put a stop to shouting matches, violent tendencies, and all the negative stuff. I hope that this understanding and love will seep into your marriage and overcome any challenges that come your way.
I wish you all the best and pray that every obstacle in your marriage gets crushed. Here’s to a blessed and loving marriage journey!
In the realm of matrimony, there exist certain indispensable elements that serve as the lifeblood of every successful union. Let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of what makes a marriage thrive
1. Keep the Chatter Flowing
Picture this: a friend once asked, “What are the three crucial things in marriage?” The reply echoed, “Communication, communication, communication!” Couldn’t agree more, right?
When the art of communication wanes, it’s like opening the door to a host of unwelcome guests—assumptions, suspicions, lies, and deceit. A marriage truly blossoms when both partners can freely articulate their thoughts and feelings. So, let’s make a pact to hear each other out!
Remember, when a man speaks, it’s often for a logical explanation. On the flip side, when a woman shares, it’s not merely an explanation; it’s an emotional release. Silencing her voice stores up tensions, akin to the silent magma beneath the earth’s surface—seemingly calm, but a volcanic eruption could be lurking.
2. Revitalize the Romance
In the marathon of marriage, pit stops are crucial. Take breaks from the daily grind and rediscover the magic that brought you together. Recall those pre-wedding sparks? Reignite them! Besides the spiritual recharge from prayer and Bible reading, spice up your life with moments of relaxation.
3. Seek Counsel
No marriage is an island; it thrives with the wisdom of mentors. Couples married for decades possess a treasure trove of insights. Seeking counsel isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a beacon of wisdom. Let’s drop the facade of self-sufficiency and embrace the humble act of seeking guidance.
4. The Power of Transparency
Sincerity and openness are the glue that holds marriages together. Imagine marriage as an open book club; discuss everything, leaving no room for secrecy. Hiding the plot twists only breeds mistrust. Adultery finds no foothold where transparency and honesty prevail.
As couples, let’s take note of these pillars—communication, rekindled romance, wise counsel, and transparent dialogue. They are the threads that weave a resilient and enduring marital fabric. May our unions be a testament to the beauty of connection and understanding!
What do ladies really want? Let’s take a look at some of them.
The Romantic Rituals:
Every lady dreams of her man being a smooth operator, a Casanova exclusive to her alone! But let’s face it, most guys unleash their inner Romeo only until the wedding bells ring. After that, the ‘romance’ button goes on a permanent vacation, leaving ladies wondering if it ever existed. Prayer and speaking in tongues are great, and yes, well needed, but a well-timed compliment can work wonders too!Speak in tongues and speak in love too!
2. The Defender Dilemma:
What’s the point of having a knight in shining armor if he abandons his post when things get dicey? Remember, defending your lady doesn’t mean challenging her to a duel. Avoid public condemnations and stranger alliances. You’re her superhero, not a sidekick with questionable loyalties. She expects you to be loyal, within and without!
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3. In-Law Intervention:
Dealing with in-laws can be trickier than juggling flaming torches. If your folks are on the difficult side, shield your beloved from unnecessary drama. Don’t let her play the role of a wife before her time. After all, navigating family dynamics requires finesse, not a battlefield strategy. Even after, wedding, you have to continue fending her. If you don’t, she can easily become the “errand girl” for the extended family during family meetings or functions.
4. PDA (Public Display of Affection):
Your fiancée wants a bit of romance on display, not a choreographed parade where she always takes the lead. Hold hands, share a laugh; always. Walk with her. Hold her hands. It won’t lead into sin out there. It is what you do in the dark and behind closed doors as singles that lead to sin.
5. Humor Harmony:
Laughter is the key to a lady’s heart, and no, that doesn’t mean you need to moonlight as a stand-up comedian. Be the guy who adds spice to life, not the one who turns every moment into a dreary episode of horror. Remember, being a source of joy is way better than being a source of confusion!
Let her get some hearty laughter from you and not from Basket Mouth and Bovi all the time!
Don’t become a source of depression. The moment you are around, despondency descends. Nah!
This will give ladies an idea of what men want from them
1. I expect my wife to respect me
We all know that respect is the greatest need of a man. Every wife should strive to honor and respect her husband.
This will go a long way to make your husband honor you as well because you always reap what you sow.
2. I expect my wife to support and encourage my ministry/career
My wife should be my greatest and Number one fan of course!
As a wife, you should support, encourage, and strengthen your husband to to go forth and fulfill destiny and purpose.
Whether he’s conquering the corporate world or preaching to the masses, you’re the loudest cheerleader in the room.
3. I expect my wife to pray for me always and be my greatest intercessor Women are powerful prayers.
The genuine prayers of a happy wife will advance your life in no small measure.
Wives, pray for your husband!
Be the intercessor ninja he never knew he needed. Your prayers are like a magic potion, brewing success and happiness.
4. I expect my wife to be homely, caring, and loving A woman who is not homely shows no care, and detests cooking will be a constant source of frustration to the husband.
There is something in women that makes caring natural with them
Forget about runway models; your catwalk is from the kitchen to the bedroom. Serve love, not just dinner!
5. I expect my wife to look beautiful always
All men are moved by sight including me!
So, I expect my wife to look good always. Women, do not get careless with your appearance and your looks.
Look your best all the time!
All men are moved by sight, so keep that dazzling smile and killer outfit game on point. You never know when the paparazzi (aka your husband) might strike!
6. I expect my wife to keep the bedroom hot
Sexual satisfaction is paramount to any marriage that will not collapse.
Wives, do not get careless in this area.
It is an obligation!
Never use sex as a reward or punishment.
1Co 7:5 (AMP)
Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [ of your due marital rights ], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [ to sin ] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.
I will stop here this morning!
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Yesterday I started on this topic and looked at five symptoms of immaturity in your relationship. I will conclude this morning with the remaining five.
Immaturity, though not inherently sinful, serves as a breeding ground for destructive behaviors within the realm of relationships. Our journey takes us through the subtle intricacies that hinder personal growth and consequently erode the foundation of meaningful connections.
Hebrews 12:1 guides us on this expedition: “Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily besets us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” It’s a call to shed the burdens of immaturity, run the race of growth with endurance.
The Greatest Pitfall: Selfishness
At the heart of immaturity lies selfishness. Relationships thrive on love’s sacrificial essence. An immature connection, clouded by self-centeredness, is destined for turbulence.
1 Corinthians 13:4-6 beautifully outlines the attributes of love, emphasizing its patience, kindness, and aversion to self-aggrandizement. A relationship devoid of these qualities is a ship sailing against the winds of maturity.
More Symptoms of Immaturity:
Neglecting God and His Principles The essence of a relationship is deeply intertwined with divine principles. Failing to prioritize God in the union reflects a lack of maturity. God’s principles are the bedrock, providing stability to the intricate dance of companionship.
Picture this: God, the relationship superhero, swooping in with a cape made of divine principles. Neglecting that? Well, it’s like trying to fight crime without your superhero suit.
Deceit in the Relationship Lies, deceit, and double standards are the hallmarks of immaturity. Sincerity and transparency, on the other hand, signify emotional maturity, paving the way for a relationship rooted in truth.
Financial Instability True financial stability extends beyond material possessions. It’s about self-sufficiency, the ability to meet one’s needs without dependency. A mature partner is not meant to be a financial crutch; instead, both contribute to the relationship’s prosperity.
Low Self-Esteem A mature individual understands their worth, deriving it from an unwavering self-esteem. Insecurity and seeking external approval are hallmarks of immaturity, capable of wreaking havoc and compromising one’s integrity.
Abusive Behavior Any form of abuse, whether verbal, emotional, or physical, is a glaring symptom of immaturity. Relationships are mutual, complementary endeavors where superiority has no place. Abuse dismantles the foundation of shared strength and understanding. Say no to abuse; it’s not in the script!
Shedding the garments of immaturity requires introspection, commitment to growth, and adherence to divine principles. May the journey towards emotional maturity be one guided by self-awareness, compassion, and a relentless pursuit of true love.
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DACSER is a Dating, Courtship, Sex and Relationship Academy, A Free School of Relationships for University of Ibadan Students powered by Kisses and Huggs Club
