Life presents unique seasons. Singleness and marriage are both gifts from God, each carrying its own joys and challenges. Whether single or married, no one can walk faithfully without the help of the Holy Spirit. He is the Comforter, Counselor, and Helper whom Jesus promised to all believers in John 14:26. His guidance ensures that we live wisely, love well, and honor God in every season.
Being single is not a waiting room for marriage but a calling to serve God wholeheartedly. Like Apostle Paul said,
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 1 Cor 7:32 (NKJV).
This is a season to deepen intimacy with God and grow in purpose. The Holy Spirit helps singles overcome loneliness, guard against distractions, and cultivate godly character. When doubts arise or temptations feel overwhelming, He strengthens with truth and peace.
By listening to His leading, singles can make wise decisions about relationships, careers, and daily life. Yielding to the Spirit keeps the heart pure and hopeful while preparing for whatever future God has in store.
Marriage is a covenant that requires love, humility, and patience. No couple can thrive on their own strength. The Holy Spirit empowers husbands and wives to love each other as Christ commands. He produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control in the home.
When disagreements arise, the Spirit softens hearts and reminds each partner of grace. He also equips couples to pray together, raise children in godliness, and face challenges with faith instead of fear. A Spirit-filled marriage becomes a witness of Christ’s love to the world.
Whether single or married, maximizing the Spirit’s help requires surrender. This means daily prayer, studying God’s Word, and obeying His promptings. The Holy Spirit does not force His way into our choices; He waits for yielded hearts. When we welcome Him, He supplies wisdom for decisions, comfort in trials, and strength for obedience.
Disagreements are part of every relationship. Whether you are dating, married, or even building close friendships, two people will not always see life the same way. The important thing is not avoiding conflict but learning to handle it in a way that pleases God.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.Ephesians 4:2–3 (NIV)
Here are some biblical steps that can help us deal with conflict in healthy ways:
1. Pause and Pray
When emotions rise, it’s tempting to keep pressing your point. But prayer changes the atmosphere. Stopping to pray softens hearts, calms emotions, and invites God’s wisdom into the situation. Couples can pray together; singles can pray before responding to a friend or partner. In both cases, prayer helps us put love above pride.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.Philippians 4:6 (NKJV)
2. Listen Beyond the Words
Arguments often go in circles because we only hear the words, not the heart behind them. A disagreement about money or chores might really be about feeling unappreciated or unsupported. When we listen with patience, we begin to understand the deeper need. This is true whether you are resolving conflict in marriage, in dating, or even in family life.
The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.Proverbs 20:5 (ESV)
3. Speak with Kindness
Words can either heal or hurt. Instead of saying, “You never listen,” try, “I feel hurt when I don’t feel heard.” Gentle words lower defenses and make space for reconciliation. Whether you’re a husband speaking to a wife, a fiancée to a fiancé, or a friend to another, kind speech builds bridges instead of walls.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
4. Value Unity Over Winning
Sometimes we argue as if we are opponents. But in God’s design, relationships are partnerships. The goal is not to “win” the argument but to protect unity. In marriage, it means remembering that it’s not husband versus wife, but both of you versus the problem. In dating and friendships, it means choosing peace over pride.
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.Colossians 3:14 (ESV)
5. Seek Wise Counsel When Needed
Some conflicts can be solved between the two of you; others may need the wisdom of a mentor, pastor, or counselor. God places people in our lives to guide us and help us see what we sometimes can’t see on our own. This is true in marriage, courtship, and even friendships.
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.Proverbs 15:22 (NIV)
Final Word
Conflict is not a sign that your relationship is failing. It is a reminder that two imperfect people are learning to love like Christ, with patience, humility, and grace.
When we choose prayer over pride, listening over arguing, and unity over winning, we not only resolve disagreements but also grow stronger together in Christ.
The Dangers of Sexual Sins in a Relationship or Marriage
The bible makes us understand that God created sex as a beautiful gift, meant for reproduction, intimacy, and bonding within the covenant of marriage. Furthermore, we know that our bodies are not our own; they belong to God and are temples of the Holy Spirit.
When we use our bodies in ways that dishonor Him, we grieve His Spirit. Over time, if we normalize sin, our hearts can grow hard, and the consequences are grave.
God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.Romans 1:28 (NIV)
If you’ve struggled with an addiction for years, it may feel impossible to stop, but Jesus, the Light of the world, can break even the strongest habit.
If you are a believer and find yourself trapped in sexual sin, the enemy will whisper, “It’s normal… everyone does it.” That’s a lie. Your new life in Christ is pure and righteous.
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11, KJV).
No sexual sin is harmless. It wars against your soul, dulls your spiritual senses, and hinders intimacy with God.
Take a moment to ask honestly: Why do I indulge in sexual sins?
Boredom or idleness? Then fill your time with purposeful activities like Bible study, prayer, service, exercise, or learning new skills.
Pornography or sexual media? If you’re trying to break free from sexual sins, yet consume sexual content, you’re feeding the very habit you’re fighting. Jesus said, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off”. That means removing triggers without compromise.
Here are practical ways to be free from sexual sins
1. Run to Jesus first: Only He can cleanse, forgive, and give you the strength to walk in purity.
2. Replace bad habits: Read Scripture daily, join a prayer group, serve in your church. Idle hands and minds are the devil’s playground.
3. Remove triggers: Delete sexual content, unfollow tempting accounts, and get rid of romantic/pornographic books and media.
4. Confide in someone mature: Accountability is powerful.
5. Stay persistent in prayer: Victory is often a process. Keep leaning on Jesus daily.
If you are single, you need to guard your mind and eyes, use your single years to grow spiritually and in purpose, not to indulge lust, and above all, learn self-control. It’s the same discipline you’ll need in marriage.
And to the married, understand that sexual intimacy is God’s provision against sexual temptation. If you struggle with sexual sin in marriage, it may signal a deeper intimacy or communication gap. Address it together prayerfully. Also, protect your sexual bond by keeping your desire directed toward your spouse, not self-gratification.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Today, I want to talk about something that doesn’t always get said out loud. What happens when you’ve caught real feelings for someone, and it honestly feels like a gift from God… but then God tells you, “This isn’t it.”
Maybe you met someone who checks almost every box on your list. They love Jesus, they’re kind, they make you laugh, they actually get your weird jokes (on time), they’re responsible, emotionally mature… all the things you’ve prayed for. And you’re thinking, “God, finally. Thank You. This is my person!”
But then something unsettles you. A gentle nudge. A whisper from the Holy Spirit. Or maybe a clear sense that God is saying, “No, not this one, and it’s confusing. Because everything feels right.
So what are you supposed to do when your heart says yes… and God says no?
1. Let Yourself Feel the Disappointment
First, be honest. Rejection hurts, even when it comes gently from God. So don’t fake a smile or pretend you’re fine. God can handle your feelings. He’s not afraid of your tears or your questions.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
You don’t have to be strong all the time. You just have to be real.
2. Just Because It Looks Good Doesn’t Mean It’s God
This part is hard. Because when someone is mostly what you want, it’s tempting to talk yourself into believing it’s God’s will. But “almost right” is still wrong if God says so.
There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)
God sees the full picture.
3. God Isn’t Being Cruel. He’s Being Kind.
It might not feel like it, but God saying “no” is often one of the kindest things He can do. He’s not trying to ruin your happiness. He’s protecting your future.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you… Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
That person might be great, just not God’s great for you. He knows the road ahead. You don’t.
4. Don’t Try to Force What God Is Gently Closing
One of the biggest mistakes we make? Pushing through red flags because “we prayed about it” or “they love God too.” We try to write the story our way.
But forcing something that God is closing will only wear you out.
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1 (NIV)
Let Him build your love story. His version is better than anything you can try to hold together with your own hands.
5. Peace Is Often Louder Than A Yes
You might not get a booming voice from heaven. But you’ll know when you’re in step with God because there’s peace. Real peace. Not butterflies. Not adrenaline. Peace.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
If you have to constantly convince yourself it’s right… it might not be.
God sees you. He knows what you long for. He knows what you need. And when He says no, it’s not rejection. It’s redirection toward something fuller, deeper, and far more lasting than your feelings today.
So what do you do when God says no to your feelings?
You pause. You listen. You trust. And you let Him love you through the ache.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Relationships demand more than fleeting emotion. They require something deeper, sturdier, and often uncomfortable, which is tolerance. It’s not flashy, and it rarely gets applauded. Yet, the quiet strength keeps relationships from crumbling under the weight of human imperfection.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV),
That phrase, “bearing with one another,” holds within it the heart of tolerance. It doesn’t mean putting up with abuse or neglect. It means making room for the rough edges of another soul, edges God might still be shaping.
For the married, this is often tested in the daily rhythm of life. How your spouse leaves the kitchen after cooking, how they process stress, or even how they express affection may not align with your preferences. But tolerance says, “I choose grace. I choose to love you as you are today, not just as I hope you’ll be tomorrow.”
Singles aren’t exempt from this refining process. Whether it’s in friendships, dating, or family dynamics, there’s always an invitation to practice humility and gentleness. Culture often encourages quick exits when discomfort arises, but Scripture calls us to lean in instead.
“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”Colossians 3:13 (ESV)
The root of tolerance is love laced with patience. It is recognizing that others are works in progress, just like you. It’s resisting the urge to reshape people into our image and allowing God to do His work in His time.
There is also the other side: allowing others to tolerate us. That means being aware of our own weaknesses and accepting grace when it’s given. That’s humbling. But it levels the ground in any relationship, keeping pride in check.
For the single person waiting for marriage, or the married person weathering seasons of frustration, here’s a truth worth holding onto: Tolerance isn’t settling, it’s sowing. You are planting seeds of mercy, humility, and steadfastness that mirror the very nature of Christ. It won’t always feel rewarding in the moment, but it will shape your heart and your relationships into something deeply resilient.
