In Exodus 17, there was war between Israel and Amalek. One of the interesting things about that battle was what was going on on the hill! Moses was “controlling” the outcome of the battle in the valley with his hands—hands up, Israel prevailed; hands down, Amalek prevailed. What a beautiful picture of the power of prayer, but that’s not the point today.
So, when Moses’ hands grew tired during the battle, Israel began to lose. But Aaron and Hur stepped in, held up his arms, and the tide turned. Victory came not because Moses was so, so strong, but because he was supported.
This is the way relationships work. Love was never designed to be a place where you pretend you’re always okay. And by the way, love was not designed to be isolated. Singles, be wary of the one that says, “let’s keep our relationship private.” No authority figure in your life knows about your relationship? You are breeding a ground for compromise and hurt.
So, I was saying that love was never designed to be a place where you pretend you’re always okay.
Singles, you don’t have to be the “strong one” all the time. Find friendships that lift your hands when life gets heavy. Your support system matters as much as your romantic decisions.
For married couples, you won’t always be on the same energy level. One person might be battling doubt, stress, financial pressure, or emotional exhaustion. Holding each other up isn’t weakness; it’s actually covenant.
Sometimes the greatest expression of love is simply saying, “Rest. I’ve got you.”
Strength in relationships isn’t measured by how little help you need, but by how willing you are to give and receive support.
When love learns to borrow strength, it never runs out.
Jonah wasn’t simply running from Nineveh; he was running from transformation. The assignment felt uncomfortable, so he fled. And many of us still do the same in relationships today.
Singles run from vulnerability because of past wounds.
Married couples run from conversations that feel overwhelming.
Some run from accountability; others run from the version of themselves they are afraid to become.
But note that every time Jonah ran, the storm followed. The storm was not because God was punishing him, but because broken people attract storms; and healing cannot start until the running stops.
So, please, stop running.
Singles, don’t run from people who genuinely care for you simply because you fear being seen deeply.
Couples, don’t run from the hard discussions that can rescue your marriage.
When Jonah finally stopped running, clarity came, and peace and purpose followed.
Sometimes the storm in a relationship is not from lack of love, but from unwillingness to face the truth. Healing begins the moment you stop running.
Is there an uncomfortable truth you’ve been running from?
Purpose Before Feelings: Why Your Calling Must Lead Your Relationships
Feelings can open doors, but only purpose keeps those doors from becoming prisons. Many singles desire love deeply, yet God desires that your life is first anchored in purpose because a relationship without direction almost always becomes a distraction.
Emotions are powerful, but they are not wise. They can make you feel connected to someone who is not connected to your destiny. They can make a temporary attraction feel like a lifelong assignment. And if purpose does not lead the way, feelings can lead you into places God never endorsed.
“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9
Your steps must be directed before your emotions get involved.
One of the biggest struggles singles face is learning to separate chemistry from calling. You can have chemistry with someone who is not part of your future. You can feel emotionally safe with someone who is spiritually unsafe. You can even love someone who cannot walk with you into your next season.
Purpose is what filters these things.
Purpose asks the questions feelings refuse to ask:
Does this person pull me toward God or away from Him?
Do we share values, vision, and spiritual direction?
Will this partnership strengthen or suffocate the calling on my life?
Can our destinies run in the same direction?
This is why God develops your purpose before He develops your partnership. When the purpose is clear, your choices become clearer. When purpose leads, peace leads.
Before David ever became king, he had a purpose. Before Joseph ever met Mary, he had a calling. Before Adam ever saw Eve, he had an assignment.
The pattern is consistent: purpose precedes partnership.
Your calling is not just about ministry, it is the divine reason you exist. It is the assignment tied to your gifts, voice, influence, and future impact. The person you choose will either multiply that purpose or mute it.
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works…” – Ephesians 2:10
Feelings change. But purpose doesn’t.
Let your emotions follow your direction, not direct your decisions. A relationship that contradicts your purpose will eventually contradict your peace, but the one that aligned with your calling will always feel like clarity, not chaos.
So guard your heart. Protect your purpose. And remember:
Love is beautiful, but destiny is eternal.
Choose with wisdom, not pressure.
Choose with purpose, not loneliness.
When purpose leads, love thrives.
When purpose leads, God is honored.
When purpose leads, you end up exactly where He designed you to be.
Shalom!
Purpose Before Feelings: Why Your Calling Must Lead Your Relationships
The Pressure to Settle: Choosing God’s Best Over Emotional Convenience
There comes a moment in every single lady’s journey when the noise around her grows louder than the voice within her. Age whispers. Culture presses. Aunties ask questions. Wedding pictures fill your timeline. Even loneliness tries to negotiate. Slowly, and subtly the pressure to settle begins to feel like a reasonable option.
Settling is expensive and destiny is always the one that pays the price.
Many Christian singles don’t settle because they don’t love God. They settle because the weight of waiting begins to feel heavier than the weight of compromise. Any relationship you enter out of pressure will eventually become a source of pressure.
God doesn’t want you to choose someone simply because they arrived early but because they align with the future He prepared.
“The blessing of the Lord makes you rich, and He adds no sorrow with it.” -Proverbs 10:22
One of the dangers of emotional convenience is that it blinds you to red flags you would have clearly noticed in a calmer season. When your heart is tired, even the wrong person can look like “maybe.” But God’s best doesn’t come through confusion.
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace…” – 1 Corinthians 14:33
Sometimes what looks like delay is actually divine protection. God sees what you cannot see: the future conversations, the character you haven’t fully witnessed, the habits that will shape your marriage, the spiritual roots hidden beneath the surface. He sees the parts you ignore when you’re tired of waiting.
This is why discernment matters.
Discernment helps you differentiate between:
✔ A person who is emotionally available and a person who is spiritually aligned
✔ Someone who likes you and someone who can build with you
✔ Someone who fits your feelings and someone who fits your purpose
Marriage is not about who is available, it is about who is aligned.
So when the pressure rises, pause. Breathe. Return to the One who writes perfect stories. God’s timing sometimes feels slow, but it is never late. Heaven is not intimidated by your age, your fears, or the opinions of others.
Your job is not to make something happen.
Your job is to remain aligned until the right thing happens.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and He shall direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5–6
Don’t settle.
Don’t shrink.
Don’t choose convenience over destiny.
You are worth God’s best and His best is always worth the wait.
Shalom!
The Pressure to Settle: Choosing God’s Best Over Emotional Convenience
How to Navigate Relationships with Wisdom and Integrity
4. Don’t Pressure Each Other into Commitment Pressuring someone into moving too quickly—or staying in a relationship that isn’t right—dishonors both parties and God’s timing. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Solution: Be patient and allow natural progression. Trust that God will confirm His will when both hearts are ready.
5. Don’t Neglect Boundaries Healthy relationships require clear boundaries to protect emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. Blurred lines can lead to compromise or hurt. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Solution: Establish agreed-upon boundaries for dating practices, social interactions, and personal space. Respect these limits consistently.
Final Thought:
Courtship is a beautiful opportunity to grow closer to God and each other, laying a solid foundation for marriage or future relationships. By avoiding these common pitfalls, you safeguard your hearts, honor God, and create a partnership rooted in love, respect, and wisdom.
Remember, Song of Solomon 2:7 exhorts, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Love flourishes when nurtured patiently and intentionally. As you navigate courtship, lean on God’s guidance, surround yourselves with accountability, and commit to walking in integrity.
Ultimately, courtship isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s about becoming the right person. When both individuals prioritize holiness, humility, and obedience to God’s design, they position themselves for a relationship that reflects His glory and fulfills His purpose.
