Some days, love feels like butterflies. Other days, it feels like a sacrifice. If you think godly love is just about how you feel, you’ll walk away the moment the feelings fade.
The truth is, love that lasts is not always powered by emotion; it’s powered by intention.
Feelings come and go. They rise and fall with mood, stress, seasons, and even hormones. But real love, the kind God talks about, is deeper than that. It shows up when it’s hard. It stays when it’s uncomfortable. It chooses even when it doesn’t feel like it.
1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t say love is a feeling. It says love is patient, kind, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. Those aren’t emotions. They’re decisions. Daily decisions.
You won’t always “feel” in love, and that’s okay. What matters is what you do in those moments. Do you still choose to honor? To forgive? To pray for them? To show up? That’s godly love.
You see, culture tells us to follow our hearts. But God says to guard it (Proverbs 4:23). Feelings are unstable in everything, especially in relationships.
Even Jesus didn’t feel like going to the cross. He prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matthew 26:39), but love made Him stay. Love made Him choose obedience. That’s what godly love looks like. It’s a decision to honor God even when it’s uncomfortable.
Commitment is the only virtue that will take you further than chemistry, so you won’t always wake up with butterflies. I encourage you to choose love, not just when it feels good, but when it reflects Christ.
Love is multifaceted, and when it’s genuine, it manifests in ways that reflect the heart of God. True love isn’t just about feelings or grand gestures—it’s about consistent, selfless actions that demonstrate care, commitment, and character. Here are five types of lovers who truly embody what it means to love deeply and authentically.
1. The Servant Lover
A servant lover prioritizes the needs of their partner above their own desires. Inspired by Jesus’ example of washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15), this type of lover finds joy in serving and supporting their spouse. Whether it’s cooking a meal, running errands, or simply listening after a long day, they show love through practical acts of kindness. Philippians 2:3-4 captures this mindset perfectly: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” A servant lover builds trust and creates a foundation of mutual respect.
2. The Faithful Lover
Faithfulness is the hallmark of a lover who truly loves. This person remains steadfast through life’s ups and downs, refusing to give up when challenges arise. Ecclesiastes 9:9 encourages husbands to enjoy life with their wives “all the days of this meaningless life” because faithfulness honors both God and the covenant of marriage. The faithful lover keeps their promises, resists temptation, and chooses loyalty even when circumstances are tough. Their unwavering commitment becomes a safe haven for their partner.
3. The Encouraging Lover
An encouraging lover sees the best in their partner and actively affirms their strengths, dreams, and potential. They understand the power of words to build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21) and use their speech to inspire confidence and hope. When struggles arise, they remind their spouse of God’s faithfulness and encourage them not to lose heart. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” An encouraging lover empowers their partner to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.
4. The Sacrificial Lover
True love involves sacrifice—a willingness to lay down personal comfort, time, or preferences for the sake of the other. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for her. But sacrificial love isn’t limited to husbands; anyone can embody this principle. A sacrificial lover puts aside selfishness, forgives readily, and invests deeply in their partner’s well-being. Their love reflects the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus, who gave everything for us.
5. The Praying Lover
A praying lover understands the spiritual dimension of love and consistently seeks God on behalf of their relationship. They recognize that human effort alone cannot sustain a marriage or partnership—it requires divine intervention. James 5:16 reminds us, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” By praying together and individually, the praying lover invites God into every aspect of their union. They intercede during trials, thank God for blessings, and ask for wisdom to navigate challenges. This kind of love is rooted in dependence on God and strengthens the bond between partners.
These five types of lovers—servant, faithful, encouraging, sacrificial, and praying—are united by their commitment to loving well. Each one reflects a facet of God’s unconditional love for us, reminding us that true love is less about romance and more about action.
If you want to be a lover who truly loves, consider which of these qualities you can cultivate further in your relationships. Whether you’re married, dating, or preparing for future relationships, strive to model Christlike love in all you do. After all, love is not just something we feel—it’s something we live out daily, leaving an eternal impact on those around us.
As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 beautifully describes, love is patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful. May you embrace these qualities and become the kind of lover who reflects God’s heart to the world.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV) reminds us that love is patient, kind, and never gives up. Love isn’t a one-time vow—it’s a daily decision. Small acts of kindness, honest conversations, and thoughtful gestures are the bricks that build a lasting relationship.
2. Stay Rooted in God, Not Your Feelings
Feelings can fluctuate, but God’s Word is constant. John 15:5 (NIV) says, “Apart from me you can do nothing.” When the love feels weak, plug into the source—God. Let His love fill you up so you can love your spouse or partner from a place of strength.
3. Choose Grace Over Grudge
No relationship thrives without forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) says, “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Let go of offenses quickly. Don’t let small wounds become wide gaps.
4. Remember Why You Started
When you’re tempted to give up, recall the joy, hope, and purpose that brought you together. Revelation 2:4-5 (NIV) encourages us to return to our “first love.” Revisit old memories, shared goals, and spiritual unity that sparked the relationship.
5. Keep Investing Even When It’s Hard
Love requires continual sowing. Effort, time, prayer, and intentionality are seeds. Proverbs 24:3 (NLT) says, “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.” Relationships grow when you keep watering the garden—even during dry seasons.
Galatians 6:9 (NLT) — “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
Don’t abandon what God has called you to build. You are not alone—He’s with you every step of the way. Keep loving, keep showing up, keep building. The harvest of a beautiful, enduring relationship is worth it.
Disappointment has a way of lingering. Sometimes you can feel it right there, heavy and obvious. Other times, it just quietly follows you around, sitting somewhere in your chest, showing up how you hesitate, second-guess, and hold back. And when it is time to trust again, whether it is God, someone else, or even yourself, it can feel like you are being asked to jump with your eyes closed.
You might not feel angry anymore. Maybe you’re just careful, a little guarded. You’ve learned to keep moving forward on the outside, but deep down, the weight of what hurt you is still there. It’s not bitterness, it’s just being careful.
And here’s what matters: God gets it.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
He isn’t rushing you. He isn’t frustrated with you for being slow to trust. God isn’t standing far off, waiting for you to “get over it.” Psalm 34:18 reminds us that God draws close to us when we’re hurting. He sees the part of you that still aches, still wonders, still hopes, yet is afraid to hope all the way.
So, how do you even begin to trust again? It doesn’t happen all at once; it’s not by pretending that you are fine or by ignoring what happened. It starts by letting God into those broken places, and letting Him show you that He is still steady even when life isn’t.
1. Be honest with God.
Tell Him the whole truth not just what sounds good. Be real about how it changed you, about what you still don’t understand. Trust actually starts with honesty, and God is the safest place for it.
2. Separate God from what happened.
Disappointment can make us wonder if God let us down, or if we can even trust ourselves anymore. But sometimes, things just don’t work out, and it’s not a sign that God failed. He’s still trustworthy, even when the outcome is not what you wanted.
3. Let trust be something you practice.
It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. Sometimes, trust is just making small choices—praying again, hoping again, showing up, even if you’re still a little scared. Trust grows slowly, with repetition.
4. Remember that healing and answers don’t always show up together.
You may not get all the answers you want, but you can still find peace. Sometimes healing is found in letting go of what you can’t figure out, and letting God carry that weight for you.
If you’re still carrying disappointment, remember this:
You are not too broken to trust again.
Being hurt doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human.
God is still with you.
You can trust again, slowly, fully, deeply, because your safety is in Him, not in any outcome.
It’s not titles, talent, or even how committed a church worker one is.
There are things that make relationships work, and one of them is emotional maturity.
You can’t build a healthy love life with someone who looks and sounds spiritually deep but emotionally shallow.
Someone who prays in tongues but pouts when corrected.
Or fasts for 21 days, but gives you the silent treatment for 21 days when upset.
Our journey with God ought to influence our walk on the earth!
Emotional maturity is being able to feel deeply without falling apart.
It’s the ability to hear hard truths without turning them into a war.
It’s saying, “I was wrong. I’m sorry,” without needing a three-day warm-up.
Singles, emotional maturity should be high on your list.
Don’t just ask if they are financially stable— ask if they know how to handle anger. If not, you will “chop” money and also “chop” slaps. You will eat spaghetti bolognese and also eat the silent treatment bolognese.
Find out.
Do they apologise or always shift the blame?
Do they shut down when corrected, or do they grow from it?
You’re not marrying their talent or their looks — you’re marrying their emotional patterns.
Married couples, it’s time to grow up emotionally.
Love isn’t just “feeling butterflies” — it’s being emotionally responsible.
Here are some ways to be emotionally mature:
1. Pause before reacting. Just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you should unleash it.
2. Stop keeping score. If you forgive it, don’t resurrect it with every argument.
3. Don’t use emotion to manipulate. Tears are not tools. Silence is not a weapon.
4. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Don’t say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not — that’s not maturity, that’s avoidance.
Emotional maturity doesn’t mean you never feel pain. It means you know how to handle it without destroying people in the process.
Let’s grow. Let’s mature. Let’s build love that doesn’t just feel good, but actually works.
