Financial Compatibility and Your Love Life 

Financial Compatibility and Your Love Life 

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Financial Compatibility and Your Love Life 

For singles and couples, the issue of financial compatibility will always come to the fore because finances are an essential part of love life. The reality is that when financial issues are out of the way, more than fifty percent of the problems are solved. 

Financial compatibility is important because it is dangerous to marry someone whose financial principles and practices are polarized to you. This doesn’t mean you are financial experts but what it means is that you should be on the same page so that you can synergize together. 

Here Are Conversations You Should Have

1. Financial History: What has been the financial history? How has your potential spouse been handling finances?  As newly married, you will immediately notice that your partner’s financial habit before the wedding prevails within your home. It is good to have these conversations!                                                                              

2. Budgeting Together: Have you discussed budgeting, planning, and spending? What amount goes for which? What are the priorities? As engaged or newly married couples, are you on the same page? Do you consult one another before major spending?

3. Financial Goals: What are the plans? This should be discussed! When are you going to start developing your property? What kind of school are the children going to? What kind of income streams are in the pipeline?

4. Debts and Savings: Are there debts before the wedding? Light or huge debt? Are there serious and chronic debt habit that needs attention and counseling? You cannot close your eyes to all these indications. As a newlywed, are you servicing debt with all your income like in Nigeria? Lol…

5. Crisis Management: What are the financial plans in place in emergencies? What are the options? Have you decided that you will never use a loan to take care of another debt? What are the immediate plans to stop addictions from constantly patronizing loan apps?

These and more conversations will help you when it comes to finances and your love life.

Good morning! 

Finding Purpose Before and After Marriage

Finding Purpose Before and After Marriage

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Finding Purpose Before and After Marriage

Dear singles and couples, let’s have a heart-to-heart talk about something that really matters – finding your purpose, not just in life, but in the realms of before and after you say “I do.” Whether you’re single, engaged, or already hooked, understanding your purpose is like having a compass that guides you through the stormy and sunny days of life.

Before Marriage: Discovering Yourself

1. Discover Yourself: Before you can share your life with someone, it’s crucial to know who you are. What lights your fire? What are your passions, values, and dreams? This isn’t just about career or hobbies; it’s about understanding your core. Why are you here? What is your purpose?

2. Build Your Relationship with God: Your faith isn’t just a part of your life; it’s the lens through which you see the world. Strengthening your relationship with God helps clarify your purpose and aligns your path with His plans. He created young so the template of your life is with Him.

3. Serve Others: Service isn’t just a nice thing to do; it’s a way to discover aspects of yourself and your purpose. Whether it’s volunteering at church or helping out in the community, service expands your heart and your understanding of where you fit in this world. When you serve, He said he will bless your bread and water! 

After Marriage: Growing Together

1. Unite Your Dreams: Now that you’re a team, it’s time to align your purposes. This doesn’t mean giving up your individual dreams but finding ways they can complement and support each other. Be on the same page in your respective areas of specialization. Allow two chasing ten thousand rather than as individuals chasing a thousands each.

2. What’s Your Vision?: What do you want your marriage to stand for? Together, create a vision that includes not just your goals as a couple but also how you want to contribute to the world around you. Create a vision board for your family and that will help you keep focus.

3. Keep God at the Center: As you navigate married life, keeping your faith central can help you face challenges and make decisions that honor your shared purpose. Need stop reading and studying your Bible! Pray in the Spirit a lot and allow God to build your family for you! 

Remember, finding and fulfilling your purpose is a journey, not a destination. It’s about growing, learning, and adapting, whether you’re single, engaged, or married. 

So, take a deep breath, trust in God’s plan, and embark on this beautiful adventure of discovering and living out your purpose.

Be blessed in Jesus name!

Winning Romantically!

Winning Romantically!

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Winning Romantically!

This is the final part of the series I started two days back. If you missed them, find them below.

Now, the final part!

4. I am sorry. I win.

Nothing grows romantic love like being quick to forgive. When we see that we are drifting away from our sweet spot, forgiveness does the magic. Notwithstanding who is at fault. Just taking the initiative to say ‘I’m sorry’ first does the trick. It is maturity. Say sorry first, and you win.

Whenever you swallow your pride for the sake of growing your romantic love, you win.

As singles, forgiveness is a constant in a relationship. Practice and learn forgiving the one you love. Don’t count scores. Your flesh will want to pay back evil for evil, tit for tat. Learn to be more like Christ. Let your romantic love grow to be more patient and kind, gentle, not boastful, not envious.

In marriage, the Lord warns us never to allow strife.

I think it is in marriage that most offense happens. Your spouse will step on your toes and still justify their actions.

Opposites truly attract, but with time, they begin to repel. Don’t let animosity fester. Apologize when your spouse is angry at you. Little things may anger your spouse; don’t rationalize, don’t be logical about how or why he/she should be angry, just apologize.

An apology is not about who is wrong but about having feelings for the one who is pained.

5. Appreciation

These two words, ‘thank you,’ grow your romantic love towards each other. It shows your sensitivity to the needs of your partner to be appreciated.

As singles, never take your partner for granted. This understanding is very necessary if you want your romantic love to grow in a healthy way and not be stunted.

Remember that it is a privilege for your partner to be nice, kind, good, forgiving, hardworking, thoughtful, neat, punctual, and the list of good virtues and qualities goes on and on.

Appreciate whatever good you see and recognize in your partner. When it comes to looking at their good qualities, look at it with a magnifying lens. Don’t let their good deeds be little in your eyes.

Remember, whatever you appreciate, appreciates. Whatever you don’t appreciate, depreciates.

As couples, make appreciation a big deal. Celebrate your spouse for the simplest things. Never take them for granted. 

God bless you!

Creative Ways To Show Romantic Love

Creative Ways To Show Romantic Love

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Creative Ways To Show Romantic Love

So yesterday, I started teaching on this topic. I established the fact that romantic love is essential in relationships and it makes marriage exciting.

Kindly read yesterday’s devotional.

5 Ways to Grow Your Romantic Love.

Yesterday, we looked at:

  • Understand their love language and speak it.

It is the duty of everyone in a relationship to discover, understand, and then start speaking their partner’s love language.

In marriage, you keep on speaking and rediscovering your spouse’s love language over time and as occasion demands. Yesterday’s love language may not be today’s love language.

  • No love without giving

A gift is like a magic wand that brings favor. The Bible says good understanding procures favor. Understand the magic that gifts bring and use it to your advantage whether in relationships or marriage.

Today, we are looking at:

3. Express your love to your lover in creative ways.

Just yesterday, while my housekeeper was cleaning and clearing the house, I saw one of the love notes my husband wrote to me way back in 1996. It was so heart-warming. I handed it over to him, and he read it to me again.

So sweet. I felt loved all over again. I saw his heart and his love so genuine and pure.

There was nothing sexual about that love letter. It communicated his love to me, our future together based on God’s promise, and our love together in its purest form.

Of course, I kept the note and cherished it. A 28-year-old love letter, neat and fresh, just like it was written yesterday. It was neatly written on pink cardboard and designed. Talk about romantic love, that is what I mean. My husband is more romantic than I am, you can bet.

It was not expensive, just a cardboard and pen, but it was and is still so priceless. It means so much to me.

Those days we could not afford anything fanciful, not even a date at a restaurant, but our romantic love was intact. No one could have convinced us that we were not in love.

So, singles, be creative in expressing your love to one another without being sexual.

To our married folks, good romantic love in a relationship serves as a good foundation upon which to build and continue expressing your love to each other in very creative ways.

Your husband or your wife will still long for that romantic part of you. Never allow the busyness of being married to steal that aspect of your marriage. If it does, the marriage starts to nosedive. Remember, he/she is still that boy or that girl you fell in love with. To be continued tomorrow.

Growing Romantic Love As Singles and Couples

Growing Romantic Love As Singles and Couples

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Growing Romantic Love As Singles and Couples

It is very true that opposites attract, so it’s not out of place to have one partner more romantic than the other.

Even though romance is a feeling, it can be properly expressed in a decent way, especially in relationships, noting that there is a way to treat your unmarried partner. Like my Pastor said, you are a male by birth but become a gentleman by choice and by learning. So, you also become a lady by choice. There is a proper way to treat each other when you are in love and an improper way to treat each other when in a relationship.

Someone might say, we don’t have to be romantic in a relationship; we have to be all spiritual, so we don’t end up in fornication.

Yes, a lot of caution has to be put in place in order to honor God in your relationship. However, romantic love should not be totally thrown out the window.

Let’s see what romantic love is.

Romance or romantic love can be defined as a feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards, another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.

As singles, we teach to be courteous and put the brakes on romantic love so it doesn’t get out of hand. Like the Bible says in the Song of Songs:

Song of Songs 8:4 NIV [4] Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

There should be a proper blend between being spiritual and being romantic. Being romantic has nothing to do with being sexual. As a single guy, you can treat your partner with so much respect, honor, and courtesy, and that’s being romantic.

Married couples, you have all the license to express love in the most romantic ways without applying the brakes because you are married. Now is not the time to take your spouse for granted because he/she is now yours. Still maintain that strong feeling of love and attractiveness to one another.

5 Ways to Grow Your Romantic Love

  1. Understand their love language and speak it.

Singles, try and discover your partner’s love language and speak it. Couples, continue to express and speak your spouse’s love language in every way you can. Build on what you discovered about them when you were in courtship.

2. No love without giving

Some singles say, giving is not my thing, or we are not married yet, how can I give her/him gifts? It is abnormal to be in a relationship for a year and not to have given each other anything. It is not only ladies that should receive gifts; guys too should be given gifts. You show you care about someone when you give gifts to them.

In marriage, the gifts should continue and never cease. This is not about whether he/she really likes gifts. Everybody likes gifts. You express your love in gifts, not just in thoughts but in actions. The gifts don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, even though there’s nothing wrong with, once in a while, maybe on special occasions like a birthday or wedding anniversary, getting your spouse an expensive gift. It is the gesture and thoughtfulness in gifts that makes them a good way to express romantic love.

I will stop here and continue tomorrow. Stay blessed.