1. You will be sincere with her. One of the first indications of true love is sincerity. Love is genuinely truthful. Love is truthful to a fault. The concept that God has of marriage is that of a covenant perspective. You are one. The moment you begin to hide stuff, it’s like a beehive of troubles.
As singles in courtship, if you are not sincere, it is already founded on shaky ground. It is sincerity that eventually establishes trust. Trust, however you see it, is an important ingredient in marriage. Without it, the marriage will not survive.
If you notice that your loved one is habitually insincere, it is in order that you examine that relationship all over again.
It goes without saying that what you court is what you’ll marry. If you court the truth, you’ll enjoy it in marriage, if you court lies, your guess is as good as mine.
If there is an issue of mistrust and you are already married, seek help. Seek counsel. Don’t keep quiet till it degenerates to a point you cannot manage it.
Ways That Show You Love Her
2. You will express your love to her
Where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, I really have a problem with folk who don’t appreciate the ones they love and verbalize their commitments from time to time.
Expression of love within the context of a godly courtship should be verbal, not physical. There is a way we do things in the kingdom.
When a guy begins to get physical on the first date, then your antenna should go up and you should know who you are dealing with.
You get to know a person through interaction first. Not through touch.
As a young lady, you should not be freely available to be touched, smooched, and petted when you are not married. Expression of love should be contained within the parameters of verbal communication.
In marriage, you need to understand that praise and affirmations are like food to a woman. She has to be complimented. The tendency is that if you don’t compliment her regularly, you will lose her emotionally.
Again, you need to know that complimenting her, praising her, and affirming her is actually protecting her. When you don’t do these, you increase her vulnerability because people will keep complimenting her outside.
If you are in courtship, and communication is defective, praise and affirmation are absent, you need to know it is not likely to improve after marriage.
As a guy, if you have not been constantly verbalizing your love for her, you’ve not been praising her, you really need to repent of your “sins” and then make sure you change.
If a guy grows up In a family where they are non-expressive, praise and affirmation are non-existent, he is more likely to find it difficult to naturally do all of these.
However, it is never an excuse. As a man, you have a responsibility to make your relationship/marriage work by making the needed adjustments. That is what makes you a man.
Also to note, there could be needy ladies, who are too overbearing on the man, your fiance or husband is not the Holy Spirit, he would not be able to fully satisfy some very deep longings that only God’s word will sort out.
What More To Do For Your Man? 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually. Young wives, you need to know that sex is not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me!“
That is not fair! Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defraud ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!
What More To Do For Your Man?
Why is sex so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that sexual relationships should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met on a one-night stand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regrets!
Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than physical workout, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!
What More To Do For Your Man?
For singles, you are not to satisfy anybody until after marriage. You can put forth all kinds of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour, and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour, and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.
If as a married couple, you are already involved in adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.
What More To Do For Your Man?
Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!
Do These For Your Man. There are a few things you need to know about men. Men have certain needs. When a man has a relationship with God, he can better handle those needs as it relates to his fiancee or wife.
What does a man want? Let’s consider a few of them.
Do These For Your Man
1. He wants his ego massaged constantly Never try to crush a man’s ego.
Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining alongside another couple. The other lady goes,
“One thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times”
And then, you go like,
“You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy! Rather than for him to help me out in the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.”
This is an example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, he would look for ways to finish you as well, because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.
Do These For Your Man
2. Be ready to respect him If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! Do you know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.
But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s 100% instruction.
You are not to respect him because he loves you, you are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples start seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!
Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn’t matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more travelled, he remains the head of the house.
There cannot be two heads in the house, any two-headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work.
For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to. Do These For Your Man
How To Handle Disagreements as singles and couples. Disagreements are part of courtship and marriage as much as the biscuit wrapper is a part of the package when you buy a biscuit. In the natural, we display common sense when we throw away the biscuit wrapper and enjoy the biscuit which is the most important thing.
The start of a quarrel is like a leak in a dam, so stop it before it bursts. (Pro 17:14, MSG)
In our courtship and marriage, disagreement will ensue at one point or another. It is wisdom and understanding knowing how to throw away the “wrapper” and enjoy each other’s companionship because two are better than one and one will chase one thousand but two shall put ten thousand to flight. The rewards and benefits of marriage and courtship are too great to allow trivial misunderstandings to rob us of these benefits.
Essentially, in marriage opposite will always attract. You were attracted to her in the first place because she is not like you. She is a woman, and you are a man, a whole world of difference. I and my husband are very different. He is a Choleric while I am a Phlegmatic. He is quick, fast, and decisive while I am not. I take my time, and process things first before doing things. We first had issues in courtship because we both wanted each other to be like each other. He wanted me to be fast and quick, I wanted him to take things easy. We are still very different, but now we have learned to accept, appreciate and celebrate our differences. We have decided not to major in the main.
We have learned to allow God to work in our marriage and use our unique differences to bring blessings into our home and ministry. This is one of the reasons why you cannot afford to marry an unbeliever. When you marry a believer God becomes the center of your relationship and He gives direction to your relationship.
Here are 5 practical steps that will help you in handling disagreements in your courtship and marriage.
How To Handle Disagreements.
1. Accept your partner’s difference
This is not about resorting to fate and condoling the weaknesses of your partner. It is an understanding based on the fact that you cannot change any man. You did not die for any man including your partner so allow his/her saviour to do the job of transforming them. Accept the fact that because you are from different backgrounds, your opinion and reasoning will not be the same on all issues of life.
How To Handle Disagreements.
2. Allow God’s word to be the continual judge and umpire of every disagreement
Always learn to handle disagreements by doing what the word of God says. One of the most basic fundamental principles of a successful marriage is” Husbands love your wife and wives submit and respect their own husbands”. So whatever the situation, always ask yourself, “ Am loving my wife or am I respecting my husband in this issue”. Following this golden rule will resolve any disagreement.
How To Handle Disagreements.
3. Grow in your relationship with God
The more we place emphasis on our relationship with God, the more our relationships with our fiance or fiancee, husband, or wife become better. This is because courtship and marriage require spiritual energy to make them successful. Once your priority is your walk with God and being led by God’s spirit, your relationship just enjoys the benefits of a spirit-controlled life. You know God is the greatest lover, He just teaches you how to love her better, and how to respect him more.
How To Handle Disagreements.
4. Don’t let things degenerate into strife
The ultimate aim of the devil is to get all disagreements to a point of strife, quarrels, abuse, fighting, and then what people now call irreconcilable differences. If you are a believer and you have the Holy Spirit, there are no irreconcilable differences, only differences you choose to make irreconcilable. Learn to forgive quickly and move on. Don’t allow the devil to fulfill his ministry of stealing, killing, and destroying in your relationship.
How To Handle Disagreements.
5. Be humble enough to see from your partner’s perspective
If you are not humble enough, you will be saying the same things, in different ways and yet you will not see it. It takes humility to see things from another person’s viewpoint. Don’t always insist on your own. It is pride to think your own way must always to the acceptable way. Be willing to allow your partner to have his/her way, especially if it’s not a matter of life and death. Even if it is, learn to talk to God about it, and allow Him to work things out. He always does a better job than you.
One of the most powerful things you should know is your identity in God, who you are in Christ Jesus!
“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” (Jer 1:5, KJV)
You are never a mistake. You are simply unique. Your experiences and your situations should never define you. Your uniqueness was put in place by your creator, so any situation cannot change or tamper with that.
Purpose precedes creation. God knew you before He formed you. So he packaged in you all you will need to fulfill your purpose on earth.
Your natural talents and dispositions are often a pointer to who you are created to be. Find that purpose and stay there because that is where your prosperity lies!
After the wedding, your individuality is not lost but greatly enhanced. Mutual help and support come from your spouse to even become a better person.
3 Truths Singles And Married Should Know
2. You are not condemned
“God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” (Joh 3:17, MSG)
The second thing you need to know is that you are not condemned unless you condemn yourself.
Yes, you made a mistake, Peter made a mistake too. What you need to do is to repent and return to God, not run away from Him.
Judas made a mistake too, but he couldn’t embrace God’s forgiveness, so he hung himself to death.
Don’t hang your destiny because of a mistake. Rise from the ashes and doldrums of yesterday and move into the newness that God has for you!
Be sincere with your spouse. Be open. The truth sets free.
3 Truths Singles And Married Should Know
3. Your future is bright
“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jer 29:11, MSG)
You may not know where you are going in life, but God knows, so it is wise to stay with Him. You may not have an inkling of what God is doing with you, but your maker knows what He is doing.
Everything may look confusing, but God says He had it all planned out. God says if you can stay in line if you can stay on the path He has for you, everything is already planned out!
His plan is to take care of you, not abandon you, His plan is to give you hope and a future you hope for!
I challenge you this morning, do not yield to that wrong voice because of desperation. Do not allow the devil to trap you. Stay with God. He has it all planned out. Your brain may not be able to figure out how it is going to work out, but God’s got your back.
Stay with Him. As you stay faithful, He will unveil His plans for you and your life will never be the same again! You will walk in your marital destiny and you will not miss it in Jesus’ name
Join hands together with your spouse to fulfill destiny! Be blessed!
