Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The referee wields a lot of power in the football game. He is the arbitrator and he decides what is clearly a goal or what is a foul.
In life and marriage, there are goals and there are fouls.
When you play to the rule of the game, you will score and your courtship or relationship will lead to marriage.
But when you contravene the rules of the game, it becomes a foul, and the game is affected.
In relationships, there are things God wants and there are things He doesn’t want. They are all clearly spelled out in the scriptures.
Pre-marital sex for example is a foul in the game. It affects the game, really. You lose God’s favour and support when you do what you are not supposed to do. One will just be dribbling up and down with no goal to show for it.
In marriage, being unfaithful to your spouse for whatever reason is a foul. It will tamper with the marital covenant and the consequences are rife.
Thank God because He is a forgiving God and He will forgive and forget when you repent genuinely.
The Bible talks about umpire or referee. Take a look.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? Do you have questions arising about who to marry? Are you unsure whether he is the one or whether she is the right person?
Do you have anxieties about what to do as a married man or woman or what career path to follow?
The scripture says that there is something that can settle with all finality and tell you exactly what to do.
This is what is called the peace of God.
The presence of this peace tells you that you are taking the right decision.
The absence of this peace tells you that you are about taking a wrong decision or you are already in the wrong decision.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? What are the feelings you have when there is peace of God about a decision?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is well.” 2. You will have a deep sense of wholeness and assurance that God is with you. 3. You will have an unexplainable calmness that you are taking the right decision
Why do I say unexplainable?
Here it is:
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, KJV)
It passes all understanding. It cannot be logically decoded, in fact, it oftentimes defies logic.
It may be difficult to explain, but you will know it is there.
That is what happens when you don’t like the financial status of a loved one, yet you feel the peace of God that all will be well.
Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me? The next question is what feelings do you have when the peace of God is not there?
1. You will have a feeling of “all is not well.” 2. You will have a red card issued in your heart just like the referee issues a red card in a match. 3. You will have unexplainable fear about your decision. 4. Each time you think about the decision, you will have an uneasy feeling.
This is like the feeling you have when all seems set in terms of finances, and the job security of the person you are considering, and yet, this fear that something is wrong deep in your belly exists.
Never ever ignore this feeling. Never ignore the referee!
You see, as a child of God, He doesn’t want evil to befall you, so He will warn you before taking a decision that would not end well.
The peace of God within you shows you His will for you. He leads you into His will by His peace.
What happens when you can’t sense anything or when emotions have taken over and you cannot hear God?
You will need to separate yourself in the place of prayer with fasting and then, you will surely hear God. You will also need to fill yourself with God’s word regularly.
If you are already married, and you feel you are outside of God’s will, the immediate thing to do is not to walk away from your marriage but to commit it into God’s hands for His intervention.
Trust me, God answers prayers, when you believe.
I pray that God will give us more understanding on this subject. Who’s The Lover God Wants For Me?
God’s Leading And Who To Marry. Sally wanted what would prevent her from falling in love with the wrong person and wasting her time on what is not going to work. She wanted to save her emotions from roller-coaster rides that lead nowhere. She doesn’t want to spend so much time and resources with George for years and then discovers she’s been hobnobbing with the wrong person.
Note that the wrong guy or lady is not always a bad person. Someone can be so cool, gentle, born again and spirit filled and yet not meant for you. Mr. Good is not always Mr.Right, but Mr. Bad would never be Mr.Right.
So, the question of praying over an unbeliever is out of it, the scripture is clear on that.
Why should I expect to be led before deciding on my choice of who to marry? God’s Leading And Who To Marry
He promised to lead us!
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. (Romans 8:14 KJV)
You know you are a son or a daughter of God because you are led.
You know you have a relationship with God when He leads you.
The next question is how does God lead?
If I can know how God leads, then I will be able to follow Him. Wouldn’t it be nice to know the wrong man or the wrong lady right away?
What is God’s leading as it relates to relationships and marriage?
God can lead you into a relationship without hearing a single voice or seeing any vision!
The way you will be led is the same way you know you are a child of God!
How are you sure you are born again? How do you know Jesus Christ really came and died for you? How do you know there is a heaven and God is there and Jesus is seated with Him? Have you been there? Did you see Him? You didn’t see Him and meet Him one on one! But the reality of His existence is so deep within you that nobody can talk you out of it. How did you become so sure? It is so simple. The Spirit of God bears witness with your spirit that there is God. It is what is referred to as an inner witness.
Because you simply know within yourself that God is. You may not be able to prove it, but you just know in your ‘knower’ that God exists. You know in your ‘knower’ that Jesus died for your sins. You were not there in Golgotha with him physically, but you just know it happened deep within you.
That is what is referred to as an ‘Inner witness.’
It is an unexplainable knowing, a deep-seated assurance that resides within you!
Don’t let the devil come to you and tell you that the reason you have a troubled marriage is that you didn’t have any dreams or hear a voice!
Even if you have a hundred dreams, you are not supposed to take an action without that inner witness and God’s leading! You see, the devil can manipulate your dreams if you are not grounded, but He cannot manipulate your inner witness. It is either you have peace or you don’t have it about a decision.
This peace of God is what you have when you are being led by God and it is His will on a particular decision. When this peace is not there, then God is not leading you!
This is why it is important to seek God’s leading about a guy or lady before emotions get involved. God’s Leading And Who To Marry
See it described in the scripture
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 KJV)
I like it, particularly in the Amplified version
And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Did you see that? That peace of God, that transcends every understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds. Garrison! Mount guard! Those are military terms. That is exactly what happens when you allow the peace of God and you are led by Him. His leading is a like a soldier protecting you. Do you know why? God will never lead you wrong! Glory to God! He will not lead you into misery! Thank God for His leadership.
Let’s see one more scripture that describes this peace as I round up.
“And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [ deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state ] to which as [ members of Christ’s ] one body you were also called [ to live ]. And be thankful (appreciative), [ giving praise to God always ].” (Col 3:15, AMP)
Did you see that? That peace acts as an umpire or a referee in your heart and decides or settles with all finality every question by reason of that peaceful state!
When peace is not there, and you have unexplainable fear, and red light in your heart, you should not go ahead even when everything looks perfect physically!
When everything looks like somehow in the physical, and yet you have peace, you have this feeling that all is well, that you are in His plan, that is a green light that God is leading you.
What if your emotions are already involved and you are unsure? Press the Pause button! Go into the place of prayer, fast, and pray in the spirit for a long time until your spirit can push emotions down and then pick a signal from God on what to do!
God is the one that can re-order our steps when we have made mistakes; He is the one that will lead us into our wealthy place. Stay with God and you will never regret it. Don’t be led by your feelings which can be fickle, be led by the Holy Spirit, and you will be protected! God’s Leading And Who To Marry
Should I Trust my Dreams? What do you do when you have dreams? Are dreams authentic enough to be acted upon?
I remember as a young man in my teen years, I was harassed with so many dreams. I was born again, but I didn’t know my rights. I would dream and find myself eating in dreams. I didn’t know whether it was negative or positive, but I was not fond of it at all.
I approached my pastors for help. They would pray but it continued. I met another pastor who said that I should forget about it and that maybe I didn’t eat well before I slept.
Another said if I take any deadly thing, it would not hurt me.
I believe all that, but I didn’t like that feeling. Should I Trust my Dreams?
One day, I got angry. I would have none of this again. I was a meeting as a University student. The Secretary General of the fellowship then (OVCF) was ministering in the person of Barrister Asorona Lawal.
Under a heavy anointing and word of knowledge, he called me out and said that oppression is over, waving his handkerchief at me.
And indeed, it was over. I use to read Psalm 91 every night then.
All those useless dreams stopped, in their place and I started dreaming about my future, about ministry, and about good things.
The reality was that I had a gift to dream. It is not one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but you see it is a vehicle for the gift of the Spirit. For example, a word of knowledge can come through the vehicle of a dream.
I continued to dream, but these were now revelatory dreams. I knew so much through dreams and visions of the night.
In my final years in the university, I had over a hundred dreams of seeing myself ministering in meetings, healing meetings, churches, crusades, and all that. That God was calling me was not in doubt.
Before I proposed to my wife, I dreamt about her over fifty times in a period of over a year in different ways that I was convinced she was the one meant for me.
I had dreams and revelations about anything and everything. I would see myself holding my meetings before the meeting and everything that would happen would have been acted out.
I had dreams about my siblings who wanted to take the wrong steps in marriage. I saw people before I met them.
Then there were times I would have dreams, that practically had no meaning.
I told you all that to let you know that dreams can come from three sources:
1. From God
2. From the devil
3. From you (from a multitude of thoughts)
Gen 37:9 (KJV) And he dreamed yet another dream…
Should I Trust my Dreams? God can reveal His heart to you concerning relationships and marriage, but you cannot rely on your dreams alone!
The primary way that God will lead you is through inner witness.
God can also warn you about taking the wrong step in relationships and marriage in dreams.
But listen to this. You cannot trust all your dreams when you are not filled with God’s word and God’s Spirit.
It is God’s word that can cleanse your dream life. If you are not grounded in the word, the devil will exploit that gift and send conflicting messages to get you confused.
That is why an unbeliever can often have revelatory dreams, but his dream life will be convoluted, with confusing signals because the God factor is missing in his life.
The baseline is this, whatever gift you have, you must stay and live in God’s word consistently to keep that gift untainted.
You cannot build your ministry, life, relationship, or marriage around a gift alone. You cannot go ahead and ask a lady out because of one dream.
Let the word of God stabilize your dream life.
And if you don’t dream at all, you are not less spiritual. You only need to discover the pattern through which God speaks to you and learn to rely more on the inner witness.
God doesn’t love those that dream more than those who don’t dream. God is not partial. Everybody can access God’s plan and heart through the Spirit of God and through that inner witness.
Let me conclude with this:
Never take a consequential decision because of just one dream. Always pray in the spirit about any dream and for God to tell you the full import of those dreams that can often come in symbols, puzzles, and parables.
I pray that God will grant you more understanding.
How To Overcome Fear. Sally and George are in courtship and looking forward to marriage. But Sade is full of fears and questions. Will I be able to give birth? Is marriage meant for me? Will I be rich or wallow in abject poverty? What will the future look like? Will I live long? Her questions are endless and unending, fueled by constant fear.
The Johnsons on the other hand are married, but John is not exempted from a morbid fear that literally gripped them by the jugular.
How To Overcome Fear Will our kids be safe in school? I hope my little girl will not be abused in school. Each time he drives on the ever-busy road to his work, incessant flashes of accident scenes involving him would persist. Fear would often grip him so much that he sometimes needed to wipe his brow in an air-conditioned car!
Fear is never fair. It is more than a feeling, it is a demonic grip. That is why there are thousands of different fears and an innumerable number of phobias that the devil uses to hold men to ransom.
Fear is bondage and some people are actually bound all their lifetime in this weapon that the devil often wields, especially the fear of death.
“And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [ haunting ] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.” (Heb 2:15, AMP)
The above scripture says as a child of God you have been delivered and COMPLETELY set free! In relationships and marriage, several fears come through the devil into our minds.
Never entertain them!
You see, the devil cannot impose anything on you unless you permit him by embracing fear through the fearful thoughts he suggests in your mind.
He comes around and tells you that you will never get married. You look at yourself at over thirty years of age, and then you believe the fear. The moment you believe that fear and embrace it, then it actually becomes your experience!
What are you supposed to do?
You are supposed to reject it and refuse it!
Refuse to be entangled! Take a look at the scripture here:
“IN [ this ] freedom Christ has made us free [ and completely liberated us ]; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery [ which you have once put off ].” (Gal 5:1, AMP)
In practical terms, you refuse his fears by confessing what God says! That is why your inner man must be filled with God’s word constantly. The word of God that you read daily is not for fun, rather it will infuse strength into you such that when the devil ones with his attacks, God’s word, and Spirit will raise a standard against it.
As a single guy, I was harassed daily with the fear that I would never be able to father children.
Thank God for the little I knew then. I ran into God’s word and searched for what God said about childbirth. That is how to deal with fear!
The devil said something about fear. But what did God say? Whose reports will you believe?
So I saw a scripture and I wrote it out and I kept saying that, it must have been millions of times.
“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.” (Psa 128:3, KJV)
I said it so much until the fear was rendered null and void and I knew I would have children. I told my fiancee, then to keep confessing it without telling her why.
That is what God’s word does. It would fill you with hope and faith and when the devil comes with his fear, you will just laugh at his face!
God’s word works!
After the wedding, the first pregnancy we had actually went down in miscarriage and that fear returned. The devil told me, you see, it didn’t work! You are infertile and your wife is barren!
But I stood my ground! I went back into God’s word. I saw there that none shall be barren.
“there won’t be any miscarriages nor barren women in your land. I’ll make sure you live full and complete lives.” (Exo 23:26, MSG)
All the while, I never told my wife about the fear I had and constant fearful dreams about not having children. That fear persisted in my head, but I did not allow it to enter my heart.
Since it wasn’t in my heart, it couldn’t come out of my mouth, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
I refuse to verbalize it. When you say something, you empower that fear. Rather than speak the fear, speak the word.
I simply went back into God’s word. That word never fails. And it didn’t fail us. Today, we have three, and we could have had more if we wanted.
Whatever fear you have can be dealt with this way, God’s word in your heart and in your mouth! It works. This is How To Overcome Fear
This morning, I curse the spirit of fear in your life! I proclaim you free in Jesus’ name from every weapon of the evil one. God’s word over your life will stand and you will have victory in Jesus’ name.
Knowing The Lover Who Is Spiritual. This morning, we continue from where we left off yesterday. How do you know the lover who is spiritual and the one who is not?
3. Availability and willingness to serve
What about the brother or sister that is always there to serve? Morning, afternoon, and evening, he or she is always there serving. Well, the thing is that there is something called “eye service!”
So, this is ruled out as well.
This cannot be exclusively used as a parameter for spirituality.
4. Closeness to Pastor
Brother George is so close to Pastor, which means he is very spiritual! Well, you cannot use that alone as a yardstick as well. Some of the closest people to pastors can be worse than unbelievers in their dispositions. Remember Judas was close the Jesus. He was a trusted ally and he was the treasurer, but the guy kept stealing!
5. Insight and Revelations
What about a brother or sister that can share revelations and has a lot of insights into the scriptures? Yes, it can often determine how spiritual but not always. I have seen some deeply insightful preachers who are unrepentant adulterers! I have seen some very religious habitual sinners who will give you insight into why they can fornicate and still be anointed.
6. Gifted and Talented
What if somebody is talented and gifted? He must be spiritual, maybe that is why God gave him or her so many talents. Well, some of the most gifted people are also some of the most careless I have seen. Their gifts become a source of pride and they easily become cocky, and there is nothing spiritual in being proud.
7. Niceness
What about those who are very nice? Does it mean that they are spiritual? Well, I have seen some unbelievers that are really nice as well. And again, being nice is not a fruit of the Spirit!
We can go on and on, but then what is the way to know and recognize a spiritual person?
Here is the answer. It is only by their heart! You know a person by the kind of heart that person has!
Every good thing that a man does comes from the heart. Every bad thing that a woman does comes from her heart.
” A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. ” (Luk 6:45, KJV)
Now, the challenge is that nobody can see a man’s heart! So what do you do? That is a huge dilemma, but there is a way out.
There are only two ways to know what is in a man’s heart.
1. Through God
Man looks outward, but God sees the heart. Go to God in prayer for who to get involved with
God can see the heart of everybody and anybody. He sees the future of the person. So when He leads you, He cannot lead you wrong. All the above qualities are good to watch out for, but ultimately, God’s direction is what you should follow.
It is only God that knows the one that seems spiritual but is as carnal as anybody can be. It is also God that knows the one that is seemingly carnal but will end up becoming a man of God or woman of God. Let God lead you.
2. Through words
The other way to know what is in the heart of man is what you see in the above verse: out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Watch his or her words, those are exact pictures of what lies within. His words will betray him.
He or she might say he is joking, but the scripture warns about coarse joking.
For married couples, there are a few things you can do together that will help you grow more spiritually. Attend the same church regularly. Pray together. Share scriptures with each other. Exchange books and discuss them. Have a common mentor you see regularly.
