Everybody has got baggages and each of us came into marriage with our individual baggages. If not dealt with properly in marriage, it has the capacity to hinder the progress of any marriage no matter how much the couples love themselves.
How do you know what’s in your bag? Check your beliefs, your childhood experiences, did you have an absentee father? Have you ever been sexually abused? Did you grow up in an environment where you did not “feel loved”?
Baggages are negative, unprocessed emotions from past experiences. All types of baggage, if not taken care of, can negatively impact your current experiences — your relationships, your friendships, your family relations, your career, etc.
Is Your Bag Heavy?
Does it feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? People go through different experiences in life and that makes some people’s baggages just like a little child’s school bag, while for others because of their experiences their baggages can be compared to the biggest “ghana-must-go” bag out there. Imagine walking with such a heavy load, your movement and progress will definitely be impeded.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28, KJV
Emptying and Refilling
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7, KJV
It’s not God’s desire for you that you have guilt, fear, regrets, shame in your bag, those things weigh you down, they will wear you out and get you tired. It won’t affect you alone, it will also affect your spouse and cause you to hurt him/her unintentionally this is why it’s most important to deal with them.
You can’t deal with baggage by locking the bag and burying it somewhere in the deepest depths of your heart, it never works that way, you’d have to slowly open them and with God’s help deal with them.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly Matthew 11:28-30, KJV
The solution, after you’ve identified those baggage is to cast “ALL YOUR CARES” on him. Let go and let God, forgive ALL who have hurt you in the past.
Unforgiveness will lead to resentment, bitterness, negativity which will affect our relationships, emotions and physical health. Once you’ve forgiven, you’ll begin to feel lighter, literally.
All the issues about bags and luggages is to get your past opened up. Every couple should have a day of opening their boxes. Like we all opened up our wedding presents when we first got married and we were presented with different gifts.
This is extremely important. Tell yourselves everything about yourselves. Yes, everything. The good, bad and the ugly. It is better done now before you start discovering one by one later. Help you spouse open up. Listen empathetically, give uninterrupted attention and h/she will feel secured opening up. Put off all phones and gadgets and let it be a me and you time.
We will continue tomorrow by Gods Grace.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I choose to cast my care on God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to trust you more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7, KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
Another wonderful bible verse you should learn is from the book of Philippians. It is God’s Word to you. In chapter four and verse thirteen, you know what you can do as a follower of Christ.
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Phil. 4:13 KJV)
Imagine the possibilities you have access to do with this verse. The writer is showing you that you can do all you desire to as long as you have Jesus.
Your strength doesn’t come from you, your possessions, friends, families, or education. It comes from Jesus.
He gives you the strength to move on and accomplish everything you need to accomplish.
If there is a huge task or challenge in front of you, remember this verse. Say and believe it. Jesus will show you how to carry it out with ease.
It doesn’t mean that you won’t do your part. You pray and act according to the leading of Jesus.
Sally is caught in a cross-fire. She really wanted to submit to her husband, but then some of the things her boo wanted her to do clearly contradicts the scriptures. What should she do? Cooperate with her boo and risk losing God’s favour or hold unto God while her love life collapses and her homes boils?
Even in courtship, the lady is often caught in between pleasing him and pleasing Him!
Let’s take a look at the scriptures.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. – Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)
So we see clearly and succinctly here that a wife is supposed to submit to her husband. It never says that a lady should submit to her own fiancé!
So, when he says you must come over and spend weekends, you don’t have to obey and end up jeopardizing your relationship with God in your bid to “submit’
I am saying in essence that in a dating or courtship situation, you are to absolutely follow God and not man!
If whatever your fiancé wants done is as unto the Lord, there wouldn’t be any problem there. You should gladly submit, even if you are not married yet.
But when it clearly violates your conscience, makes you feel guilty, makes you cry and dissipates God’s anointing in your life, you are to leave that guy alone before he wrecks your destiny.
Now, let’s see some examples here.
He asks you to send your nude pictures or else he would end the relationship. Something is not quite right.
There is some level of perversion that is being shown there. There is some traits of a compromised heart coming up there.
In this case, let your “No’ be emphatic and clear. If he walks away because of that, let him walk, he is not your husband.
If you do it and listen to him, this is not submission in any way, it is more of foolishness. If he is asking for nude before marriage, what will he ask for if he ever gets to marry you?
If you go ahead and do it in a bid to keep him, it shows your own depth of devotion to God. it shows that somewhere in your heart, you don’t really trust God.
If you do, you will never do anything that displeases God in other to please your boo. If you do such things, you just sowed a seed into that relationship and opened the door for the devil to afflict.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
4. By being honorable yourself and being faithful to the commandments of your husband.
This is simply obeying his biddings. There are some instructions your husband will give you directly or indirectly. There will be things he does like, maybe based on his temperament or based on his background. If he doesn’t like something then obey and respect his wishes. Don’t talk down or look down on him because of what he loves or does not love.
You show honor to your husband by keeping his words in your heart so that you can obey them. There is nothing more dishonoring than your husband telling you he doesn’t like something repeatedly and you disobeying him.
5. You honor your husband by honoring people he honors.
You show honor to your husband by honoring relationship he holds dear. Even if you don’t feel like respecting them, you do out of your honor to your husband.
An example is respecting his parents, his mentors, his boss, his colleagues and any other person he holds dear.
6. You also show honor to your husband by giving to him
There is no honor without giving. You should give of your substance to the one you honor, especially the man that is ordained by God to be your head. You must see him as he is.
He is your lord, your glory. So you celebrate him with your seed. His birthday is a good time to shower him with some good things. Father’s Day is another good time.
May God grant you understanding. God bless you marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
Look at another powerful, inspiring, and breathtaking verse in Psalm 139. Today, we are talking about holding God.
Psalm 139:14 – “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
What is this verse telling you? How do you feel when you read this?
You should feel important and unique that your Yahweh says you are as wonderful as all His works.
Let’s break down this verse
“I praise you, for I am fearfully…
This means that you are meant to instill fear in the enemy’s heart because you are made of God.
“…and wonderfully made”
Never has the world seen a unique and one-in-a-lifetime person like you. The world has never experienced you before. Out of all the billions of people on the earth, none is like you.
“Wonderful are your works:”
Everything God made is wonderful, exquisite, and a blessing to all mankind. This same God made you.
“my soul knows it very well.”
The psalmist acknowledges that even his soul knows how great a creation he is. He knows that God didn’t make him ordinary. God made him be a special type of creation, different from all the other creations of God.
Write this verse down and memorize it. When people try to put you down and say you are nothing, tell them how the mighty God made you the most special of all His creations.
May the reality of how God made you always stick with you. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, thank You for how special You made me. I am special. I am special.
Action point: Reflect more on this verse and write down the wonderful things you know about yourself.
