It is difficult and hard when your spouse has been involved in an affair or affairs. It takes a lot of maturity and God’s love shed abroad in our hearts to properly handle the situation.
It will take God and the willingness of the erring spouse to denounce this habit, turn a new leave and become an instrument against affairs in the hands of God.
Such change is very possible when the erring spouse knows how to appropriate the grace, mercy, and blood of Jesus. No devil has the power to make any of us do what we don’t want to do.
For example, the deliverance of Saul was complete and total. Never did he go back again to persecuting the church. So the determination of the erring spouse is more important than what the spouse does or does not do.
Despite the reaction of the spouse, total victory is still a reality.
However, for the sake of support and those who are not so strong, here are things the spouse of an erring spouse is not to do.
Never allow a feeling of revenge overtake you.
The devil is a bad devil and would love to exploit any situation, but the bible says we should resist him.
So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 NLT
You may be tempted to also pay your spouse back in the same coin, to also cheat and have an affair. The temptation will be strong but please do not yield to it.
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19 NLT
Keep yourself in the love of God.
2. Never try to blow your own trumpet.
The devil is full of different strategies that he never seeks to give up. Even when it is obvious he has lost the battle, he still wants to try, peradventure he could still win some grounds.
God should still remain the center of focus and not man. So it is better to continually give all the glory to God. Don’t think it is because you are smart or gifted that you discovered. It is God that made it happen. He gave you the wisdom.
Don’t also think you are standing because you are righteous, it is of the Lord’s mercy.
So rather than blow your trumpet of being the good cop over all the years, thank God for the grace to be faithful. We are all a product of God’s help.
Thank God you made yourself available for God to use you in being so forthright, disciplined, and focused.
We all are a product of God’s Mercy.
I will stop here today, and continue tomorrow by the grace of God.
It is my prayer that God will give us more understanding in Jesus’ name.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be faithful to my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY My Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Open up to your spouse, if there be any issues
Yesterday, we started the series on how to be creative with your worship of God. Today we will look at one way to do so – the art of prayer.
Prayer is a time of communicating with God one-on-one. Imagine that you are in a room with God and discussing with Him. You open your heart to Him about what you need, what you are going through and more. Prayer is more like that. It’s a closed-room session with God, where no one or anything is allowed in or should be allowed in.
And in that room, you can’t be talking with Him and also be talking to someone else. All of your attention should be on Him and what you want to say to Him. You shouldn’t be distracted by anything or anyone or allowing your thoughts to wander. If you want to stand, sit, kneel, bend or take any form, do so with the knowledge of being in His presence.
Having wandering thoughts breaks your connection to Him and in the process, you lose hearing Him speak, put impressions in your heart and sometimes hear something wrongly.
When you focus on Him, it helps to strengthen the connection between Him and you. Your prayers reach Him and you receive answers to them. Think of your TV set plugged into the wall socket. If you put it on without it plugged into the socket, it won’t come on. Much the same way if you go into God’s presence in prayer and losing focus.
One way you can be focused during prayers is by finding a quiet place to pray.
May the Lord help you to remain focused on Him during prayers, Amen.
Prayer point:
Lord, give me the grace to focus on You only during prayers. I remove every hindrance or distraction from my prayer time with You in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Confession:
I am focused. My prayer is with utmost attention. I am not distracted in the place of prayers. I pray till I see my heart desires.
The issue above is one of the commonest statements of regret from several people that I counsel every other month. Avoiding in marriage a lover on fire today but cold later is possible.
“Pastor, he has changed…”
“Pastor, I never knew he was like this…”
“Pastor, before we got married, he was a leader in the fellowship, but now, he doesn’t go to church…”
“Pastor, during our courtship, he was so sweet, but now, he beats me up!
“Pastor, I never knew him because our courtship was a distant one…”
…And so on and so forth…
Well, what went wrong along the way?
2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG) If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”
Here are a few things to note.
There are pretenders out there. There are people who will feign being in the faith just to get a ‘good’ girl that will not give them ‘problems’ in marriage. This is where Christian pre-marriage counseling comes in.
2. That you met somebody in church does not guarantee that he or she is a true child of God or that you are avoiding in marriage all troubles. Anybody and everybody can attend church services for different purposes. Always seek counsel before you get involved with anybody.
3. Not everybody in the church setting is looking for God. That is why phones and personal effects get missing in church. An angel didn’t steal them. They were stolen by people with whom you worship but with ulterior motives.
4. Let the leadership of the church be involved in your relationship and marriage. There are some churches that have marriage guidance councils, these are not instituted to control you or spy into your private life but to guide you appropriately. Let your pastor be in the know. This is important because the pastor usually knows the committed ones and those who are insincere to an extent.
5. Learn all you can learn. Get marriage tips and free Christian advice online for avoiding chaos in marriage. On Kisses and Huggs Club, for example, we offer free Christian advice for singles and married couples and you can get advice on marriage issues on our daily devotionals, daily discussions and several other materials online. Don’t walk into a marriage ignorantly and so naïve that you fall for anything.
6. As a marriage counselor for some years, I can rightly say that it is true some people really love the Lord, but along the way, there is a turn around. Avoiding in marriage such people is what this post is about. This can be due to negative influence, change of environment, pressure that comes with marriage, choice of career and so on. Whatever it is, when you find yourself in this kind of scenario, you need to quickly find a marriage counselor to talk to.
I will stop here today and conclude on this topic tomorrow.
Be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life
Lift up your voice and magnify the name of the Lord.
I will praise the name of God with a song, And will magnify Him with thanksgiving. Psalm 69:30
Nation/Church
Intercede for your nation and church.
Again I will build you, and you shall be rebuilt, O virgin of Israel! You shall again be adorned with your tambourines, And shall go forth in the dances of those who rejoice. Jeremiah 31:4
Pastors/Parents/Mentors
Father, cause my pastors, parents and mentors to walk worthy of you.
Then you will be able to live as the Lord wants and will always do what pleases him. Your lives will produce all kinds of good deeds, and you will grow in your knowledge of God. Colossians 1:10
Finances
By the finished work of Jesus on the cross, I have been made rich in the name of Jesus.
For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich. 2 Corinthians 8:9
Family
(SINGLES) – Relationship and settling down.
(MARRIED) – Spouse and Children
And the child Samuel grew in stature, and in favor both with the LORD and men. 1 Samuel 2:26
Warfare
Every spirit that hinders us from moving forward is taken away in the name of Jesus.
“Thus speaks the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, saying: ‘I have broken the yoke of the king of Babylon. Jeremiah 28:2
Desire this Month
Mention your specific request for the month of May to God in prayers.
May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, And fulfill all your purpose. Psalm 20:4
Psalm 91 Declaration
Recite the whole of Psalm 91 prayerfully and believe every word in your heart.
Psalm 91
Blood Declaration
By the blood of Jesus, no form of evil is permitted to touch me and mine.
Now the blood shall be a sign for you on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you; and the plague shall not be on you to destroy you when I strike the land of Egypt. Exodus 12:13
Pauline Prayers/Wisdom
Father, fill me with spiritual wisdom and understanding in the name of Jesus.
Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven’t stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. Colossians 1:9
Healing
I receive my healing now in the name of Jesus.
He said, “If you will obey me completely by doing what I consider right and by keeping my commands, I will not punish you with any of the diseases that I brought on the Egyptians. I am the LORD, the one who heals you.” Exodus 15:26
Favour/Mercy Today
I receive favour and honor today in the name of Jesus.
For the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows [present] grace and favor and [future] glory (honor, splendor, and heavenly bliss)! No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11
What is worship? This is the act of giving reverence to God through your actions, words, thoughts, and in everything you do. You understand how powerful and holy God is and just want to show him how much you think of Him this way.
Your heart wants to connect with Him, to tell Him that you know He is the only true God. Beautiful words come to your mouth from the deepest parts of your heart, and it feels so good to say those words to Him.
When words aren’t enough, sometimes you turn them into songs. Songs that overflow with worship for Him. You sing to Him about His mightiness, awesomeness, beauty, and love for all mankind.
How about some love letters to Him, just like the Psalmists in the bible wrote psalms for God, telling about His deeds to man, to nature, and more.
In the next few days, we are going to be looking at how creative you can be in your worship of God.
May He give you the grace to worship Him in truth. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, I bask in your wonder and bow in worship to you.
Action Point: Look up more definitions of what worship is. Relate it to worshipping God.
