Husbands are to appreciatetheir wives, while the wives are to praise their husbands. That’s the magic.
I will dedicate the aspect of ‘wives praising their husbands’ to all husbands and fathers. To mark our father’s day celebration. The day is for fathers’ so let’s focus on how to make them happy and feel good because that’s the essence of marriage.
I believe this is in order. Then the aspect of ‘husbands appreciating their wives’ will come up tomorrow.
The two words appreciate and praise have same elements but are slightly different. We just concluded celebrating our fathers and by extension our husbands. It feels good to know that at least a day is set aside to shower encomium on our fathers and husbands.
Every wife should know how to praise her husband. If you wait till your husband is perfect, you will wait a long time. Besides, who says you have the right standard to judge him? You may have a thousand things against him, look for and focus on the good things he has done.
How he has been faithful? How he has been a good father to your children? He didn’t neglect you when you were pregnant, he didn’t abuse you, he provided for you, he prayed and fast for you.
The truth is that your husband has done so much for you, that you are not even aware of. It will take eternity to discover some of the things our husbands have done for us. Just like it will be in eternity to unravel the so many things our heavenly father has done for us.
Sometimes we have misjudged their motives, yet God is the judge of all and He looks into the heart.
God our heavenly father loves praises and men are created in the image of God, so there is a part of every man that craves praises.
If every wife will look beyond the pains and hurts and just praise your husbands for what they do, I believe that praise will work wonders.
But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, And so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. Matthew 14:6 – 7 AMPC
That is what praise can do. We can learn this principle from this young girl, who despite who King Herod was or whatever he had done, danced with all her heart, honored him till he felt so wonderful.
She could access what the king had by simply honoring him. She brought herself to a place of prominent to forgetting herself and praising the king first. She was rewarded for it.
Let us all as wives focus on praising our husbands. Let us be selfless. Let us not be too mindful of ourselves.
We can’t dance unless we learn to forget whatever issues, grievances we had towards our husbands. For us to dance in a way that pleases and catch the attention of our husbands, our hearts must be free of offences.
Have a light heart. So you can dance well. All you want is for your king to open his mouth and give you half of his kingdom, his heart, his life, his commitment, his loyalty, his attention.
The principle is do his own first.
May God grant us the heart of humility to rid our hearts of everything that will not make our hearts light, so that we can dance for him.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will honour my husband and king
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, teach me how to honor my husband.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Praise your husband today.
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
It is interesting to note that the scripture above says, He that findeth a wife, not a sister, not a girl, but a wife! In other words, you must be a wife material before being found.
You see, the scripture cannot be broken. It is the wife material that would be found, not any other thing! So the next question is how does one become a wife material?
First of all, we will attempt to answer that question by looking at what a wife material is not. Sometimes, you find out what something is by studying what it is not.
You are not a wife material when
1. You are lazy When you read through who a virtuous woman is in the scriptures, you will know that laziness is not part of the virtue being described there. If you have doubts, go through Proverbs 31: 10 – 31. Listen to me, if you are lazy, you need to start working on that now, so that it will not affect your marriage eventually after marriage.
A good wife should Know how to cook. A good wife is a homemaker. Women are usually multipliers. Start to discipline yourself and learn the basic things.
It is not exactly like a wife should become the house help, and I am not advocating that the husband should do nothing at home. It’s so simple, a wife should not be lazy. How do you know you are lazy? Somebody would have told you! If your mum or dad has ever told you that you are lazy, it is true! Don’t argue, just say mum, how can I make adjustments? Be humble! Don’t wait for your husband to confirm that!
2. You are sleeping around You are not a wife material when you are still sleeping around and you are generous with your body! It is a direct violation of God’s way of doing things and such a lifestyle will bring difficulties into your life. The way of the transgressor is hard! A wife material is not into “aristo!”
3. You are spiritually irresponsible A wife material should develop herself spiritually. You need that spiritual maturity to help you balance your role as a wife-to-be, mother-to-be, and sometimes combining that with a vibrant career.
4. You are not accountable Accountability is powerful. As a young lady, who are your mentors? Who are you accountable to? Who can you call on the phone when you have issues and you will get good counsel? Are you a tither? Do you honor God with your time and service? Are you serving in your local assembly?
5. You are selfish A wife material is selfless. You don’t consider yourself alone! Marriage is about being selfless. Two people who are married and are selfish will soon crash their marriage. Marriage can only survive when the two people involved love themselves genuinely and are not selfish
6. You are already living with him You are not a wife material by living in his house when you are not yet married. One of the marks of being a wife material is to respect your body and honor God with it. But when you are already involved in compromise repeatedly and without repentance, you are not really honoring your body!
Don’t travel over to meet him where he is and then spend days with him. If you do that, you will be sowing the wrong seeds into that relationship and you are not going to have God’s support and favor doing that.
What if you are already doing that? Park out of his house! You are not married!
What if I park out and he leaves me? Then he is not your husband!
Your husband will be willing to wait for you. That is how you carve some respect for yourself.
When you look at the concept of a “wife” in the scriptures, it says, you are a help meet for him. Your entrance into his life translates into favour for the family!
Are you preparing yourself in that regard? You see God is not an author of confusion, so He will not bring into your life what you are not ready for! Are you really ready for marriage? Do you love yourself? Are you really single in the sense of it? Have you gone past that stage where you are looking for someone to complete you?
It is a wife material that would be found. Not any other thing, so my challenge to ladies this morning is, are you a wife material?
I pray for you this morning, that God will open your eyes the more and help you to be better prepared, and to be found by your husband! You will be found in Jesus name! I curse every operation of the spirit of delay in your life and declare that God’s counsel over your life will stand in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to prepare for my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom to be all God wants you to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 18:22 (NET) The one who finds a wife finds what is enjoyable, and receives a pleasurable gift from the Lord.
1. A wife, not a knife There is a difference between a wife and a knife. A knife cuts and lacerates. Such is Job’s wife who looked at him in the height of his crisis and pain and told him to curse God and die!
A wife does not give up. A good wife stays there and believes the best for her husband and home.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
2. A companion, not a competitor A man wants a companion in his wife. There is a difference between championship and companionship. A home is not a WWE arena. No man will feel good who thinks his wife is out to compete with him.
Competitive spirit between a couple defeats the very reason for marriage.
3. A help; not a hell You tell some men to repent of their sins or else they will go to hell. They simply laugh and tell you there is no hell hotter than the ones their wives are giving them at home. Sounds humorous, but is actually sad to hear.
Every man needs genuine help. He may not own up to it if he is overly egocentric, but the truth remains he needs help.
A woman was created to help the man. But when she decides to give him hell at home, all will not be well.
Sometimes, it is the man that pushes the woman to this point, but it is not always a good place to be in.
A joke was told of the devil invading a particular club and everybody ran away including the club owner except one man.
The devil was surprised. So he asked him,
“Are you not scared? Everybody is running from me and you are just sitting there?” The man sips his drink and calmly replied, “I am not scared of you. What can you do? I have been married to your sister for seven years, what else can you do that she has not done?
4. A friend, not a fraud Every man needs a friend. A friend is always there for you. A friend loves genuinely. Friends talk and communicate. Friends cover each other’s back. Friends want to be around each other. Friends look forward to being together.
There is no point getting married to somebody whose guts you hate.
Are you still your husband’s friend? If not, do all you can to become friends again.
If there is a courtship or marriage where the couple is no longer friends, crisis is in the corner.
5. A playmate, not a co-tenant Every man loves to play. There is a recreational tendency in every man. If he doesn’t see it in his wife, he would hang around the boys in town!
Ever wondered why your husband would leave a large LCD, curved Samsung TV at home to go and watch football in a club on a smaller TV? It is the ‘play” in the watching, the comments, the laughter, the conversations that ensues while the game is going on.
It is not wise to get so busy and leave him all alone to watch his football. Get interested; learn the names…and you will be amazed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive the wisdom of God to advance my marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, help me to be a wife indeed.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-12 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Support your spouse all the way.
How we communicate is very vital. What is being said is important, but how it’s been said is equally important. A brother once had a dream, in the dream, he saw that each time we speak to our spouse harshly, it is like using a stick with many thorns to beat them.
How true this is. Harsh words will only breed hatred, bitterness, suspicion, rejection and more bitterness.
In the beginning, God gave man His presence, work, His Word, to cultivate (the woman), and to provide for her.
A man not in the presence of God, cannot have His word, and of course, cannot nurture his wife with the words God gave him.
You have to be able to pass across divine instructions in such a way that it is followed and obeyed by the wife. I think with each instruction, the man should also consciously ask for the wisdom and Holy Spirit’s help in passing it across and communicate it with his wife
There is always a way or method or wisdom given by the Holy spirit that will best suit your wife of husband as the case maybe.
In 1 Sam 16:1-3, we saw Samuel asked by God to go and anoint a king in the house of Jesse. He said, how can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me. He didn’t jump off with the word of the Lord. He waited and asked God for a way to present it.
Husbands, wives, let us not always run off with the word of the Lord or a word from God. Ask how to communicate it to your wife or husband.
1Sam 16:2 KJV And the Lord said, Take an heifer with thee, and say, I am come to sacrifice to the Lord.’
God taught him how to present the matter.
We will continue on this same topic tomorrow. We will look at saying it in love.
God bless your marriage. CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be distracted in the race of life
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to stay focused and consistent
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. “God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you “–– God’ s Decree––” bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it. (Jeremiah 29:14 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Thank God for where you are now in the race of life
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 1 Samuel 28-31; Psalm 18
I have had people tell me that their husbands are too jealous, too jealous for their liking. The wives complain that this action is irritating. Well, I have come to know that if husbands are made to feel insecure, they become suspicious and may become overly jealous.
A husband is jealous because he loves and is not sure of the wife’s commitment into the relationship. When a husband is jealous or feels threatened, he begins to ask suspicious questions, snoops around, acts like a detective, scroll around the wife’s phone and does all sorts.
A husband and wife that has been away all day and hardly talk when they come home at night, gives room for such. The husband begins to feel, he is just there. No meaningful communication.
When there is no communication adequately, there is room for all kinds of unhealthy thoughts. Husbands and wives as a matter of fact must talk about everything. That is why whatever may prevent adequate communication should be avoided. The wife and husband should avoid bitterness of any sort, by talking about hurts immediately.
The issue of submission is also important. When a wife is not submissive to her husband, it gives him the opportunity to be jealous. If a wife does not adequately defer to her husband, it makes him insecure and threatened. He is insecure of his role as the husband.
A husband can take anything but if anything threatens his position as the rightful husband, he can’t take it.
The role of the wife is to always make her husband feel secured as the husband and the head of the home. She should defer to him in everything. She should feed his ego and give him his place as the head of the union between them.
She should defer to her in terms of finances, her job, her friends, her dressing, her looks, her family member, and everything in general. If your husband is not comfortable with something or someone, then let it be over with that thing, until he says it is okay.
This is a simple way to avoid problems at home and make your husband feel secure. As the wife, you have to protect him. Protect his interest and his ideals. I know of a woman who has a multinational company. By that, it means she would be in control of money, power and people. Normally, any husband married to her should feel threatened.
It is the place of the wife to make her husband feel secured. That is exactly what this woman did. The husband is so secured and contended. She placed her husband first before anyone and anything. That’s the way it should be.
I know there are some very difficult husbands and very overly jealous. How do you handle such? Well, I believe the same thing goes for every kind of husband. You make them feel secured until they feel over secured.
You cannot make your husband feel secured if you don’t talk to him. You must make communication a matter of priority. Your talking to him, means you defer to him by default. You tell him everything and ask him everything.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I defer to my husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY God help me to do the right things
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 31:28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband [also], and he praiseth her.
