As couples, there are areas we need to make improvements with our lives because we have the capacity to do and be more than it presently is. We need to grow so we can accomplish more and become more fulfilled in life especially in our marriage.
1. Spiritually
As a couple, we should grow together in the Lord. Our spiritual growth is of utmost importance and we should take it as such. Even Jesus Christ grew and waxed strong in spirit.
And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his shewing unto Israel. – Luke 1:80 [KJV]
You need to strive at growing spiritually first on a personal level.
Some husbands are of the opinion that their wives are supposed to grow more than they and be their intercessors. They go around and commit all manner of sins and expect the prayers of their wives to cover them. This is not right. Every husband should be the head of his family in every ramification.
We grow together spiritually when we are able to hear, walk and work with God on the same frequency in our marriage. Not that God is asking your husband to do a particular thing and you don’t have the slightest clue because you are still a babe in Christ.
We grow spiritually when we give attention to the things of God. Daily study of the Bible, prayers, meditations of God’s word, et cetera, all sum up our spiritual growth. Let couples be seen serving God together. It’s such a blessing when husband and wife hold hands to pray and wreak havoc to the kingdom of darkness together.
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This year, we should make it our priority to serve and know God more. Let us give time to seeking and searching for the Lord. Wisdom is the principal thing we have to seek before anything.
2. Mentally
Our mental health is so important and we need to pay attention to it. Why we need to aim at this development as couples is that, if we don’t grow together, we will not be able to relate well to our spouse on the same level. We have mental capabilities that are yet untapped and we need to explore this aspect of our lives.
Our mental capacity is our ability to think well and process events well. It is the creative part of us. It is also our intellectual capacity. Some couples have the husband further his education and develop his mental capacity while the wife remains at the school certificate level.
We should as couples grow together and be on the same mental level so we can discuss issues together without the fear of losing our spouse in the discussion. The wife or husband should stop feeling intimidated whenever one spouse is discussing intelligently with other people of the opposite sex.
We should be able to engage our spouses mentally. Mental development is essential especially since men are logical. We can develop our mental capacity by going back to school (if need be), taking online courses, engaging in brain-stimulating events, learning new skills, reading news and other intellectual pieces, being current through reading and learning.
Don’t be rigid and old school. Learn new things and new ways of doing things.
The world has gone digital, don’t be analog in your mind. Don’t become obsolete or you will be laid aside by your contemporaries.
Let’s work on this aspect of our lives because it has effects on our marriage.
God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I develop every aspect of my life because Jesus died for every aspect of it.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to give attention to every area of my life.
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY Lk1:80 And the child grew, and waxed strong in spirit, and was in the deserts till the day of his shewing unto Israel
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start developing these areas of your life
The Kind Of Beauty God Loves. We all want to look beautiful. It is delightsome when our husbands tell us, ‘you look pretty or ‘you are gorgeous’.
And I must tell you, there is so much noise about different beauty products. Makeup artists are being paid heavily just to make women look gorgeous.
The fashion industry is booming with different styles every day. We have all types of human hair now, and they are really expensive.
The other day I saw a Whatsapp video of a woman bleaching. She was literally removing the layer of the skin. Women go through all these troubles just to feel and hear people say they are beautiful.
There is nothing wrong with being beautiful. In fact, God loves it when we are beautiful because we reflect God in our beauty.
We as believers, however, who are called of God to be separate from those of the world and called out of darkness into His marvelous light need to know that our beauty and our motive has to be different.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
God never approves of a wife who is beautiful outwardly but has a nasty, stinking attitude, especially with her husband.
I love how the CEV bible puts it in
Don’t depend on things like fancy hairdos or gold jewelry or expensive clothes to make you look beautiful. Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special. – 1Pe 3:3-4
Our beauty should not be based on externals. If we spend all our time focusing on making our bodies beautiful at the expense of our spirit, we have beautiful bodies and ugly spirits.
God does care so much about our nails or fixed hair as much as He does our gentle and quiet spirit. He is not proud of wives who take their primary responsibility for granted.
Our primary responsibility is worship to God and part of our worship to God is honoring our husband.
Until we see being submissive, putting our husbands first, and honoring them as worship to God, we will keep fighting for our rights.
God is a just God and He well knows how to defend us, take care of us and reward us. All He asks of us is to honor Him first and be mindful of making the fragrance of our worship raise up to Him as our worship.
This is the beauty He is proud of and acknowledges.
May we not end up knowing all our beauty regimes were all wasted and as filthy rags before God.
May we all be truly beautiful inside out!
God bless our marriages
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I pay more attention to being beautiful inside
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to cultivate inner beauty more than outward beauty
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:4 Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pay attention to developing your relationship with God
It is sure too early to get hurt or to entertain bitterness, to be in strife or malice, Wale told Sade.
Those words hurt her the more. The feeling of having fell straight on her face was not a good feeling.
I thought I had overcome this ‘hurt’ issue. Where did I lose it? At what point exactly did I lose it? Why did I not nip it in the bud? Why did I not snap out of hurt? Why do I find it difficult to talk about issues, especially when I am hurt?
Why do I have to let things degenerate for weeks before trying to salvage things? Why do I even hurt so badly and deeply?
These and many more questions were what filled Sade’s mind as their two weeks old strife and not talking to each other, gradually eased off.
In those two weeks, Sade had experienced a whole lot of emotions. She had moved from anger to being hurt, to giving Wale the silent treatment, to being frustrated, to feeling sorry for herself (self pity), to a feeling of abandonment just to mention a few.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Wale was not left out in the different shades of emotions. He was first confused, then frustrated and then he become angry. Angry because he could not understand how his wife will not be able to express herself if something bothered her. And the silent treatment was just unbearable. The truth of the matter was that Wale was already getting pissed off.
He also had learnt to ignore Sade when ever she decides to go on her withdrawal escapades. Now she had withdrawn and Wale had also decided to leave her. Those two weeks were not funny at all.
Think of what could have happened. The devil could have exploited them at this point and caused some terrible tragedy. Thank God, Mercy said ‘No’. Mercy kept bearing them up for those two weeks they were vulnerable.
In the process, Sade learnt some valuable lessons I will be sharing with us.
Let’s look at some of them, take these lessons learnt so we don’t fall as Sade fell.
1. Let out the hurt. Don’t keep it brewing.
2. Learn to find a good time and opportunity to talk about issues that hurt you or that are bothering you.
3. Separate the issue from the person.
4. You don’t solve a problem by wishing it will go or hoping your spouse will get to know. You talk about it intelligently.
5. ‘I am sorry’. It works wonders in marriage and resolves issues faster.
6. Strife, malice and bitterness is the devils domain, avoid going there by all means.
7. The silent treatment is bad. No spouse can take it.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed. I do not harbour grudges.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive my spouse at all times.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
We must accept the uniqueness of our spouse and that of our marriage. No two marriages are the same and no two spouses are the same. There are no two people who have gone through the same things, in the same way, the same measure, and come out the same way.
Apply the principle of Jesus and His word to the uniqueness of your marriage.
In counseling, glean the principles and apply it to your situation putting in mind the uniqueness of your spouse.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Every walk with God is a personal journey, so know God for yourself. Also, note that what worked for spouse A may not work for spouse B.
Don’t compare your marriage or spouse to another spouse. Only fools compare rather than accept the uniqueness of their marriage
8. Love
Love is the conclusion of the law. The whole subject of marriage is about love. If you don’t love your spouse, then why get married to them?
1 Cor 13 sums up what love is. Check your life and daily see how much you are walking in love with your spouse.
Marriage is about those who can love as Christ loves the church, giving Himself for it.
You cannot love and cheat on your spouse. You cannot love your spouse and not take care of Him/her.
May God grant us more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be glorious.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive my spouse, no matter how difficult it may appear.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:13 (KJV) And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
We have been looking at the topic “Tips To Having A Graceful Marriage” for two days now and we will continue today.
God wants our marriages to be graceful. He wants us as husband and wife to glide on the wings of Grace.
There is an unforced rhythm of grace that belongs to every couple if we learn to watch Jesus, learn how he behaves and follow after Him.
The marital life is lived just by following the outline in His word.
The principle is ‘whatever He tells you to do, do it’ John 2:5
Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” – Matt 11:29-30 (MSG)
God wants us to walk with Him and work with Him. He wants us to keep company with Him and not be distracted in any way. As we do this, our marriages begin to enjoy the unforced rhythms of Grace.
We begin to glide and we find our relationship sweeter than ever.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
It is in marriage that we get hurt the most. We don’t get as hurt with our colleagues at work, and our friends don’t hurt us as deeply as our spouse.
Because we live together and are committed to each other, our spouse hurt us so deeply. The issue is while we are trying to understand each other and minimize the hurt, we must forgive.
It is a must in marriage. We must come to a point where we practice advance forgiveness.
Settle it in your heart that there is nothing my spouse can ever do that will be difficult for me to forgive.
Most of us hold on to the error of our spouse. We must learn to forgive quickly and move on.
When we refuse to forgive, it is like a breach in the spirit. With unforgiveness in our marriage, we open the door for the devil to afflict us.
May the devil not have access to our homes in Jesus’ name.
To be continued tomorrow.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be glorious.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive my spouse, no matter how difficult it may appear.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
