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Dear Couple, Don’t Start The Year Hurting

It is sure too early to get hurt or to entertain bitterness, to be in strife or malice, Wale told Sade.

Those words hurt her the more. The feeling of having fell straight on her face was not a good feeling.

I thought I had overcome this ‘hurt’ issue. Where did I lose it? At what point exactly did I lose it? Why did I not nip it in the bud? Why did I not snap out of hurt? Why do I find it difficult to talk about issues, especially when I am hurt?

Why do I have to let things degenerate for weeks before trying to salvage things? Why do I even hurt so badly and deeply?

These and many more questions were what filled Sade’s mind as their two weeks old strife and not talking to each other, gradually eased off.

In those two weeks, Sade had experienced a whole lot of emotions. She had moved from anger to being hurt, to giving Wale the silent treatment, to being frustrated, to feeling sorry for herself (self pity), to a feeling of abandonment just to mention a few.

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Wale was not left out in the different shades of emotions. He was first confused, then frustrated and then he become angry. Angry because he could not understand how his wife will not be able to express herself if something bothered her. And the silent treatment was just unbearable. The truth of the matter was that Wale was already getting pissed off.

He also had learnt to ignore Sade when ever she decides to go on her withdrawal escapades. Now she had withdrawn and Wale had also decided to leave her. Those two weeks were not funny at all.

Think of what could have happened. The devil could have exploited them at this point and caused some terrible tragedy. Thank God, Mercy said ‘No’. Mercy kept bearing them up for those two weeks they were vulnerable.

In the process, Sade learnt some valuable lessons I will be sharing with us.

Let’s look at some of them, take these lessons learnt so we don’t fall as Sade fell.

1. Let out the hurt. Don’t keep it brewing.

2. Learn to find a good time and opportunity to talk about issues that hurt you or that are bothering you.

3. Separate the issue from the person.

4. You don’t solve a problem by wishing it will go or hoping your spouse will get to know. You talk about it intelligently.

5. ‘I am sorry’. It works wonders in marriage and resolves issues faster.

6. Strife, malice and bitterness is the devils domain, avoid going there by all means.

7. The silent treatment is bad. No spouse can take it.

God bless our marriage.

My marriage is blessed. I do not harbour grudges.

Lord, help me to forgive my spouse at all times.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Forgive your spouse

Gen 1


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