What other signs are there to show that you are ready for marriage? Read on to find out.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
3. You are responsible and committed.
Signs of perpetual irresponsibility show that you are not ready for marriage.
Are people always referring to you as irresponsible?
Are people always “concerned” about your habits and dispositions?
Yes, while men may be wrong at most times in their judgments, you should not ignore multiple corrections of the same thing by different people.
By the time your parents, siblings, school teacher, lecturer, Pastor, and lover complain about the same thing, then you need to pay some attention to that thing.
You see, your weaknesses can be oblivious to you and yet obnoxious in the least.
God will often use people around you while single, to expose some of the weaknesses you cannot even notice.
You can be so anointed and yet blind to the dangerous dispositions which are counter-productive for marriage. This is why the scripture says:
Who is blind, but my servant? or deaf, as my messenger that I sent? who is blind as he that is perfect, and blind as the LORD’S servant? – Isaiah 42:19 (KJV)
You can be a good praying Christian with good intentions and yet marriage becomes a mess.
This is because your good intentions are not enough, your commitment, resolution, and responsibility are required.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am improving and getting better
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me areas of my life I need to work on in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (AMPC) Who is blind but My servant [Israel]? Or deaf like My messenger whom I send? Who is blind like the one who is at peace with Me [who has been admitted to covenant relationship with Me]? Yes, who is blind like the Lord’s servant?
The ability to enjoy whatever God has given to us despite imperfections is the maturity that takes for happiness in life and marriage. It is in loving our spouse unconditionally that makes marriage beautiful and fulfilling. We all have so many buts, we can choose to or choose not to consider in our spouse.
The Bible says love covers a multitude of sins. It means if we choose to walk in love, we can ignore or better still, hand our spouse’s flaws to God.
This prayer becomes handy; Lord give us the Grace to change the things we can change and the courage to leave the ones we cannot.
When we hand over such things to God, we should know that God is capable of handling them in His own way. Once in God’s hands, we should rest and trust in His love.
What most people do is that they give God and then collect it back. God knows what best to do to change a man. There is no overnight transformation. Even God appreciates the process of gradual change or transformation.
Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
Rom 12:2 GNB
Am I asking us to keep quiet and suffer in silence? No. Neither am I justifying wrong behaviors or any character flaws or defects. Most of the character flaws we see in marriage were already there as singles. It only became amplified in marriage.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
An irresponsible man had always had those tendencies. It was only fully expressive in marriage.
If we will not focus on the temperamental differences of our spouse, we would have done well.
So far as what we complain about are our differences, fear not. God will always see us through. The opposite will always attract. You found yourself attracted to your spouse and eventually married him/her because he was different from you.
If you are a fast person, you will be attracted to a quiet, easy-going person. A serious person will marry a playful person. It is these same differences that later repels, annoys and, gets us aggravated.
Some couples say, I love my spouse but she talks too much, but she is lazy, but she is careless. I love my spouse but he is aggressive, but he works too much, we can’t even go for vacation….and on and on.
What we should do is appreciate and thank God for the difference. Know that God put the differences there so you can accomplish much in your marriage. Try and let love, understanding, and patience have their full course in your lives.
You have to understand that neither you nor your spouse is correct or wrong, it is just about being wired differently, having different opinions, and seeing things from different viewpoint and perspectives.
So if you are hoping and thinking, ‘I love my spouse, but…’, you have to begin to remove the ‘but’ from your marital dictionary and begin to love your spouse despite their faults. Learn to forgive and forgive fast. Never allow issues to linger for long before seeking to forgive. Don’t allow ego or pride to finish your marriage.
I know a couple whose marriage is fast heading for the rocks. The wife has chosen to believe she is right and is waiting for her husband to come rolling on the floor begging. The husband too is unwilling to bend, saying she is fond of doing that and that he is tired of begging.
The wife has refused to listen to counsel. It is their differences that the devil wants to use to scatter their marriage. We are to walk through our differences allowing God to mature us.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse and my sin covers his/her flaws
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me enjoy the wife of my youth
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 GNB Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study your spouse and learn to accept your differences
Here is the concluding part of yesterday’s devotional.
We are taking masturbation as an example.
Please, note that your weakness or lust don’t have to be sexual alone, it could be gluttony, for example.
7. You have identified it as wrong, sinful and a serious weakness.
8. The next thing to do is to seek help through counsel and prayers.
Find your pastor or mentor who you can confide in and talk to that person. Let him or her counsel you and pray with you.
The moment you have taken this step, you have also become accountable in a sense. You know that there is somebody who knows what you are dealing with and who you can call anytime for quick advice. You also give that person the right and permission to check on you regularly.
9. The next thing is to spiritually guard yourself. Every weakness and lust takes place in the heart first.
Now you need to build a fence around your heart with God’s word, not once a week, but every day without fail. The moment you stop reading, studying and meditating on God’s word, you become vulnerable. This is probably the most crucial step to take in all.
Read God’s word daily without fail! This is what this ministry tries to help believers do through KHC devotionals.
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23 KJV)
10. The next thing is to destroy every trigger. There are things that aid this particular lust. That could be a friend that sends you links, some movies you have on your drives, some pornographic materials you keep and so on.
You take a practical step and destroy every trigger. You may have to disconnect from some people. Every Delilahs, Jezebels, Amnons have to go! There are people you know that once you visit them or they visit you, it will always end in feeding your weakness and land you in a sexual sin. Disconnect from such people. That is how to preserve your destiny!
Everything appearance of them, you run the other way. That is what you have to practically do on your part.
11. Learn the power of exposure. Iniquity is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy. The moment you know you are about to give in to this particular lust, which is usually behind your doors, open your door, walk out and change your environment for a moment. It helps a lot that way.
That is why the Bible says ‘Flee Fornication,’ and not ‘Let’s reason together!’ Pray in the Spirit as you flee and supply some strength to your inner man. That is how to put your body under and mortify the deeds of the flesh.
12. Lastly, the scripture says walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. To walk in the Spirit means to be in step with the Holy Spirit. Ask Him everything you want to do before you do them. It is a good lifestyle that will cleanse you of all immoralities.
For example, you have made up your mind to ask Him about everything. You feel like masturbating. How do you ask, “Dear Holy Spirit, can I …..”
As those thoughts of compromising come, He raises a standard within you to crush them because you are in step with Him. That is a thought that is trying to exalt itself itself against the knowledge of God, you cast it down by the help of the Holy Spirit.
He will not lead you into a guy’s house who has intentions of forcefully sleeping with you. He will tell you, ‘Don’t go there!’ You catch the drift? He cleanses your thoughts and your words when you relate with Him on that level and gives you strength to overcome every temptation.
I pray that God will give you more strength in your inner man to confront every lust in Jesus name!
What more ways do you think can be employed to deal with weaknesses? Let me hear you in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will fulfil purpose in Jesus name
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY As I explore more ways to deal with my weaknesses, Lord, help me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List more ways you can confront those weaknesses.
1. The first thing I want to mention is that everybody knows what his weakness or weaknesses are. You know yours; I know mine.
2. Once you know, it is good for you to acknowledge and accept that there is a weakness.
A lot of people live in denial, never accepting or owning up to what is obvious. It is self-deception, nothing more. Such people can argue with you till tomorrow on what is already too obvious.
3. After you accept that there is a weakness or a particular lust; then you are opened to help.
This is important because you cannot help a man who thinks he doesn’t need help. It is a difficult venture trying to help a man that thinks you are the one that needs help.
4. Having known this, it is important to know that your weakness is not a sin, it is the weakness that you refuse to confront that leads you into sin and becomes a lust.
5. Know in the background that God has made a way of escape for you in any kind of temptation you find yourself, so it is just simple sense that you turn to God and not trust that you can handle it yourself.
6. Tomorrow, we will pick a particular lust and see how we can practically confront it by being accountable in order to deal with it. We will be talking about masturbation.
I pray that God will help you to deal with any issues you have through these practically proven steps.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will fulfil purpose. I will fulfil destiny.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask for the grace to deal with my weaknesses practically.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Practically confront those weaknesses today.
Yesterday, we started on this topic on dealing with anger issues. If you misses the devotional, you can read it here.
If you are in a relationship with someone who flies off the handle easily, learn to seek help. Don’t just keep quiet and don’t think he would just change naturally. It takes deliberate efforts to realize and then change!
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for one another! Get books and read and deal with than anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
If you are in a relationship wherein both of you have serious anger problems and are not patient with each other, that is not too good. Start working on it now, so that your coming together which is supposed to translate into strength will not be the other way round.
Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Here are practical ways to deal with problems of anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly in God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your finance/spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done the harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want get back at your ex or your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
There are more, but I believe these practical ways will be of help.
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, relationship and marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make use of the practical ways listed above.
