Sometimes in relationships, we find ourselves giving a lot of love and effort and never getting it back. You call, you text, you make plans, but the other person doesn’t even run to meet you halfway. It can be not very encouraging and even make you question your own worth. But know this that your value is not based on someone else’s feelings or actions. A one-sided love doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it just means they aren’t ready or able to give the same energy right now.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
Signs you might be in a one-sided relationship:
You’re always the one reaching out.
They rarely prioritize spending time with you.
Their words don’t match their actions.
You feel emotionally drained but keep hoping things will change.
Reflect on these questions:
Am I depending on their love to feel good about myself?
Have I ignored warning signs because I wanted the relationship to work?
How can I make sure I’m loving in a healthy way without needing something back?
In conclusion
God cares about your heart. Investing in someone who does not reciprocate can drain your energy and distract you from God’s plan for your life. One-sided love is often a signal to evaluate the relationship honestly and protect your emotional and spiritual health.
5 Things to Do When You Know Your Future Spouse (Who Is Oblivious)
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
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It’s an exciting, yet challenging situation: you believe you’ve met the person God has for you, but they seem completely unaware of your feelings or intentions. While it’s natural to feel eager or even anxious, remember that relationships built on mutual understanding and shared faith are worth waiting for. Here are five godly steps to take when you know your future spouse is oblivious to your perspective.
1. Pray for Clarity and Wisdom
Before taking any action, bring the situation before God in prayer. Ask Him to confirm whether this person truly is your future spouse and to grant both of you clarity about His will. Pray also for wisdom on how to approach the relationship without pressuring or overwhelming them.
James 1:5 reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.”
Your prayers can cover areas such as their spiritual growth, openness to a potential relationship, and protection from misunderstandings. Trust that God is at work, even if the other person isn’t yet aware of His plans.
2. Focus on Building Genuine Friendship
Instead of rushing into romance, focus on cultivating a strong, authentic friendship. Friendships provide a foundation for deeper connection and allow you to demonstrate Christlike character over time.
Proverbs 18:24 says, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Show them loyalty, kindness, and support without ulterior motives.
As you spend time together, let your actions speak louder than words. Be intentional about learning their interests, values, and dreams. This builds trust and creates space for them to see you as someone they admire and respect—not just someone pursuing them romantically.
3. Discern Their Readiness for Commitment
Sometimes, the reason someone seems oblivious is that they’re not ready for a serious relationship. Take time to observe where they are in life spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Are they actively seeking God? Do they prioritize personal growth and maturity? If they aren’t in a place to commit, forcing the issue could lead to frustration or harm.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Respect their journey and timing while continuing to grow yourself. A healthy relationship requires two people who are equally prepared to move forward.
4. Communicate with Grace and Humility
When the moment feels right—and after much prayer—consider sharing your heart with them. Approach the conversation humbly, focusing on your feelings rather than pressuring them to respond immediately. For example, you might say, “I value our friendship deeply, and I feel led to share that I see potential for something more between us. I understand if this is unexpected, and I want to honor whatever your thoughts are.”
Communicating openly doesn’t mean demanding an answer; it means giving them space to process and respond in their own time.
Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to use words that build up and give grace to those who hear.
5. Trust God to Work in Their Heart
Ultimately, only God can change hearts and reveal His plan to others. If the person remains oblivious or uncertain, trust that He is working behind the scenes.
Psalm 37:5 assures us, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will do this.”
Avoid manipulating situations or trying to force intimacy. Instead, surrender the outcome to God and continue living faithfully in the meantime.
Use this season to deepen your walk with Christ, serve others, and prepare yourself for marriage. Whether this person becomes your spouse or not, staying obedient to God ensures that you’ll be ready for whatever He has planned.
Knowing your future spouse who is oblivious to your feelings can test your patience and faith, but it’s also an opportunity to trust God’s timing and provision. By praying, building friendship, discerning readiness, communicating gracefully, and trusting His sovereignty, you position yourself to honor both the other person and the Lord.
Remember, marriage is a covenant designed by God, and both parties must be willing participants in His plan. Keep your focus on being the best version of yourself and walking in alignment with His purposes. Even if the path seems unclear now, be assured that God is faithful to guide you step by step toward the future He has prepared for you.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and do you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
There are days when love feels like a lot to handle. Not because your feelings have changed, but because you’re tired. You’re putting in the effort, showing up, trying to communicate, praying, overthinking, making adjustments, and still, there’s this tension. Something feels off, and you can feel it.
This part is not often talked about. When you’re trying to love someone the right way, it stretches you thin. It’s not about a big disagreement or some obvious issue; it’s the emotional toll of striving to be consistent, patient, forgiving, and open all at once. It can start to feel overwhelming.
That’s why this scripture resonates with me so well, it says;
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.” — 2 Corinthians 4:8 (NIV)
Paul wasn’t necessarily addressing relationships here, but this verse really speaks to them. Love can sometimes feel like a heavy load. When you love someone, especially in a way that reflects God’s heart, it will expand what you can handle. And every now and then, it makes you wonder what’s really going on.
So Why Does It Feel This Heavy?
Here are three reasons love feels heavy, even when it’s genuine:
1. God uses love to grow you.
It sounds good in theory, but in real life, it means you’re going to be stretched. To love someone well, you need patience, self-control, humility, and forgiveness, and those qualities don’t just appear out of the blue. They develop through struggles. True love will expose parts of you that might still be selfish, reactive, insecure, or scared. That’s not a failure but a sign of growth.
2. You’re carrying more than just the present.
Often, the pressure isn’t solely about what’s going on right now. It can stir up past experiences. Maybe it’s a fear of being hurt again or a response to something traumatic. Perhaps your need for control is rearing its head. So, the pressure isn’t just emotional, it’s layered.
3. You’re trying to love from your own strength.
We tend to do this more than we realize. When you try to love without refreshing your spirit through God, you often end up feeling drained. What starts as effort can morph into resentment. Care becomes anxiety, and soon your relationship feels more like a burden than a joy.
Tomorrow, I will tell you what to do when love feels heavy. Don’t miss it.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Loving Someone Who Isn’t Ready Yet
There’s a special kind of ache that comes from loving someone who isn’t ready. You see the potential, the prayers you’ve prayed seem to be forming in them but they’re not quite there yet. You’re emotionally invested, but spiritually torn. And so, you wait. Now, the real question is: did God ask you to wait?
Many times, we romanticize waiting. We tell ourselves we’re being patient, loyal, and long-suffering. Meanwhile, love without wisdom is an idol, and you may unknowingly be putting yourself in the place of God. If they’re not ready for commitment, consistency, or growth, then you need to call yourself back. If you keep hoping they will change, you have to ask: Is this faith or fear of letting go?
God’s kind of waiting always brings peace, not anxiety. He doesn’t keep us in emotional limbo. When God says “wait,” it comes with assurance, clarity, and purpose, not confusion or heartbreak. “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace…” (1 Corinthians 14:33).
It’s okay to love someone or something deeply and still choose obedience. God will never ask you to lose yourself while trying to prove your love to someone else. If they are not ready, that’s it. No amount of waiting can make them become who only God can shape them to be.
Sometimes, the most powerful display of love is letting go and trusting that if it’s God’s will, He’ll bring it back matured, whole, and aligned. Until then, choose your peace, clarity, and God’s timing over emotional desperation. “He has made everything beautiful in its time…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
Here are five steps to detach from someone who isn’t ready yet:
1. Accept the truth
Stop holding on to their potential. You may see glimpses of who they could become, but love must be rooted in reality. God doesn’t call us to wait on maybes. If they’re not showing up with clarity, commitment, or growth, believe what you see, not just what you hope for.
2. Pour your emotions out to God
God can handle your heartbreak. He can bring the tears, confusion, and disappointment to Him without filters. This is where healing begins. “Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
3. Create a healthy distance
Love doesn’t mean unlimited access. Guard your heart by setting boundaries emotionally, mentally, and even digitally. Muting, unfollowing, or creating space isn’t cruelty; it’s wisdom. You can’t heal while staying where you’re constantly triggered.
4. Reclaim your identity and purpose
You are not less because someone wasn’t ready for you. You are still chosen, loved, and whole in Christ. So, refocus on who you are and what God has called you to do. Your worth is not tied to their readiness.
5. Surrender the outcome to God
Let go of the emotional control. Trust that if it’s truly God’s will, it will return whole, healed, and aligned. Until then, choose obedience and peace over those pressures.
Dear KHCites, love is a beautiful thing, but it must be mutual, mature, and God-led. If they’re not ready, don’t stay stuck. Trust God with your heart. He knows how to restore, redirect, and reward those who obey even when it hurts.
You text first. You call first. You plan the hangouts, say sorry just to keep the peace, and always fight for the connection even when it’s clear they’ve stopped showing up.
Let’s be honest: nothing hurts more than feeling like you’re the only one trying in a relationship that was supposed to be mutual.
Love Wasn’t Meant To Be Begged For
Real love is intentional. It gives, it shows up, it sacrifices on both sides. When only one person is carrying the weight of the relationship, something is fundamentally wrong. You weren’t created to chase someone into loving you back; that’s not love, that’s survival.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, love is described as patient and kind, not self-seeking. Notice how these qualities flow both ways. God designed love to be mutual, not a one-person show where you’re constantly proving your worth.
The Reality Check You Need
Stop making excuses when love feels one-sided. Stop making excuses for someone’s lack of effort. If they wanted to text you back, they would. If they cared about your feelings, it would show consistently. Matthew 7:16 reminds us, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” People’s actions—not their occasional words—reveal their true heart toward you.
Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Healthy relationships require two people moving in the same direction with equal commitment.
You Deserve Better
You deserve someone who chooses you back without confusion, without pressure, without delay. Someone who meets you halfway, prays with you, and values your presence. Ephesians 5:25 shows us that love should be sacrificial and intentional, on both sides.
Permission to Pause
If you’re exhausted from being the only one trying, it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to stop texting first. This isn’t about games but about protecting your heart and seeing the relationship clearly.
God sees every unanswered text, every one-sided conversation. Psalm 56:8 says He keeps track of all your sorrows and collects your tears. Your heart matters to Him.
Sometimes God is trying to pull you out of places where you’re not truly valued. Don’t shrink yourself to fit into someone’s limited capacity to love. Trust that He’s writing a better story, one where love flows both ways.
You’re not too much. You’re simply asking for what love should naturally provide. And that’s not too much to ask for at all.
