Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader who lives in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register HERE
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Today, I want to talk about something that doesn’t always get said out loud. What happens when you’ve caught real feelings for someone, and it honestly feels like a gift from God… but then God tells you, “This isn’t it.”
Maybe you met someone who checks almost every box on your list. They love Jesus, they’re kind, they make you laugh, they actually get your weird jokes (on time), they’re responsible, emotionally mature… all the things you’ve prayed for. And you’re thinking, “God, finally. Thank You. This is my person!”
But then something unsettles you. A gentle nudge. A whisper from the Holy Spirit. Or maybe a clear sense that God is saying, “No, not this one, and it’s confusing. Because everything feels right.
So what are you supposed to do when your heart says yes… and God says no?
1. Let Yourself Feel the Disappointment
First, be honest. Rejection hurts, even when it comes gently from God. So don’t fake a smile or pretend you’re fine. God can handle your feelings. He’s not afraid of your tears or your questions.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
You don’t have to be strong all the time. You just have to be real.
2. Just Because It Looks Good Doesn’t Mean It’s God
This part is hard. Because when someone is mostly what you want, it’s tempting to talk yourself into believing it’s God’s will. But “almost right” is still wrong if God says so.
There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV)
God sees the full picture.
3. God Isn’t Being Cruel. He’s Being Kind.
It might not feel like it, but God saying “no” is often one of the kindest things He can do. He’s not trying to ruin your happiness. He’s protecting your future.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you… Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
That person might be great, just not God’s great for you. He knows the road ahead. You don’t.
4. Don’t Try to Force What God Is Gently Closing
One of the biggest mistakes we make? Pushing through red flags because “we prayed about it” or “they love God too.” We try to write the story our way.
But forcing something that God is closing will only wear you out.
Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Psalm 127:1 (NIV)
Let Him build your love story. His version is better than anything you can try to hold together with your own hands.
5. Peace Is Often Louder Than A Yes
You might not get a booming voice from heaven. But you’ll know when you’re in step with God because there’s peace. Real peace. Not butterflies. Not adrenaline. Peace.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
If you have to constantly convince yourself it’s right… it might not be.
God sees you. He knows what you long for. He knows what you need. And when He says no, it’s not rejection. It’s redirection toward something fuller, deeper, and far more lasting than your feelings today.
So what do you do when God says no to your feelings?
You pause. You listen. You trust. And you let Him love you through the ache.
Are you a minister, pastor, church worker, or leader, and you live in Ibadan? You are cordially invited to “Equip” a Minister’s Conference with Rev Femi Oduwole and Rev Gbeminiyi Eboda as part of our 9th anniversary convention.
Rev Dunamis and Sophia Okunowo will also be hosting us. Attendance is free, but registration is required. Kindly register on this link – https://kissesandhuggs.com/conv2025
Don’t miss it. Spread the word!
Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions you’ll ever make. This person will walk beside you through joys and trials, share your dreams, and help shape the legacy you leave behind. But this decision shouldn’t rest solely on human wisdom or fleeting emotions—it must be guided by God’s direction and design. Here’s how to discern who your life partner is with God at the center of the process.
1. Surrender Your Desires to God
Before seeking a spouse, surrender your desires and expectations to the Lord. Often, our vision for “the perfect partner” is shaped by societal standards, past experiences, or unmet needs. However, Psalm 37:4 reminds us, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” When you delight in God above all else, He aligns your heart with His plan, replacing selfish ambitions with godly priorities.
Pray and ask God to reveal His will for your future spouse. Trust that His timing and choice are far better than anything you could orchestrate on your own.
2. Seek Wisdom and Discernment
God promises wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5), so seek His guidance as you navigate relationships. Look beyond surface-level attractions and evaluate character, values, and spiritual maturity. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Notice the emphasis on finding someone who reflects goodness—a reflection of God’s nature.
Ask yourself: Does this person exhibit fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Are they committed to growing closer to God? Do they honor others and demonstrate integrity? These qualities matter far more than external appearances or temporary chemistry.
3. Set Boundaries and Standards Based on Scripture
As you wait for God’s leading, establish clear boundaries and non-negotiable standards rooted in Scripture. For example:
A shared faith in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14)
A commitment to purity and holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
Alignment in core values like family, finances, and ministry
Boundaries protect your heart and ensure you don’t settle for less than God’s best. Remember, compromise on foundational principles can lead to long-term struggles in marriage.
4. Involve Godly Counsel
Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety.” Surround yourself with trusted mentors, pastors, or spiritually mature friends who can provide objective insight into potential partners. They can help identify red flags you might overlook due to emotions or infatuation.
Additionally, observe how the person interacts with their family, friends, and community. Their behavior outside of your relationship reveals much about their true character.
5. Trust God’s Timing
Patience is key when deciding who your life partner is. It’s easy to feel pressured by cultural timelines or comparisons with others, but Ecclesiastes 3:1 assures us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Rushing into a relationship without divine confirmation can lead to heartache, while waiting on God ensures alignment with His purpose.
While you wait, focus on becoming the kind of person you hope to marry. Use this season to deepen your relationship with God, serve others, and grow in wisdom and maturity.
Deciding who your life partner is isn’t just about choosing someone—it’s about allowing God to guide you to the right person at the right time. Keep Him at the forefront of your search, trusting that He knows what’s best for you. As you pray, seek wise counsel, and set godly standards, rest assured that He will lead you to a partner who complements your journey and shares your commitment to glorify Him.
Remember, marriage is not only a union between two people—it’s a covenant involving God Himself. Let your decision reflect reverence for His design and dependence on His direction. With faith and obedience, you’ll find the joy and fulfillment that come from partnering with both God and the person He has chosen for you.
Proverbs 19:14 concludes, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” Trust that your life partner is a gift from Him—and trust in His perfect timing to bring it to pass.
In relationships and marriage, the voices we choose to listen to can shape the entire course of our journey. There are always opinions; friends offering advice, family members giving their perspective, and society constantly setting expectations. But above all these, the believer is called to prioritize one voice: the peace of God. This peace isn’t merely a feeling of calm or the absence of conflict. It is a divine indicator, a spiritual compass that confirms we are walking in step with God’s will.
Here is how Apostle Paul puts it
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
The word “rule” here implies authority, much like an umpire who decides what is in or out. In our relationships, especially marriage, we must allow the peace of Christ to have the final say. It means choosing God’s still, steady guidance over the noise of human reasoning, pressure, or emotion. This peace does not always align with what people expect or advise, but it always aligns with God’s heart.
Too often, we lean on what others say, whether it’s well-meaning friends or our own internal fears. We act based on advice, societal norms, or even the fear of disappointing people.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)
When we allow our decisions in relationships to be dictated by human understanding rather than divine leading, we risk stepping out of alignment with God’s purpose and grace.
This does not mean we reject every opinion, but it does mean we filter every voice through the peace of God. It means before we make a decision, whether to move forward, reconcile, confront, or even wait, we first ask, “Do I have peace?” Not surface-level calm, but the kind of peace that surpasses understanding. If God’s peace is missing, it’s often a gentle warning that something needs to be revisited in prayer.
In a world full of voices and pressure, learning to prioritize the peace of God in your relationship or marriage is one of the most powerful acts of faith. His peace won’t always make sense to others, but it will guard your heart, lead you rightly, and keep you grounded in love that lasts.
Let the peace of Christ, not the opinions of man, be the loudest voice in your heart.
Has God Forgotten Me? Finding Hope in His Unchanging Love
When life feels overwhelming, lonely, or stagnant, it’s easy to wonder, “Has God forgotten me?” In moments of doubt, pain, or unanswered prayers, you may feel invisible or abandoned. But the truth is, God has not forgotten you—not now, not ever. His love and faithfulness are unwavering, even when circumstances make it hard to see His hand at work. Here are five biblical truths to remind you that God has not forgotten you.
1. God Knows You Personally
God sees you, knows your name, and understands every detail of your life—even the things you feel are too small or insignificant to mention. Psalm 139:1-4 declares, “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me… You perceive my thoughts from afar.” He is intimately aware of your struggles, joys, and deepest desires.
Why it matters: Feeling forgotten often stems from feeling unseen. Rest assured that God knows everything about you and cares deeply for your well-being.
2. God Remembers His Promises
God’s promises are unchanging, and He always fulfills what He has spoken. Isaiah 49:15-16 says, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” His commitment to you is etched into eternity.
Why it matters: Even when answers seem delayed, God’s timing is perfect. Trust that He remembers His promises and is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28 ).
3. God Is Always Near
God’s presence is constant, even when it feels distant. Deuteronomy 31:6 reassures us, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” You are never alone, no matter how isolated you may feel.
Why it matters: Loneliness can distort our perception of God’s nearness. Remembering His omnipresence brings comfort and peace during difficult seasons.
4. God Uses Trials to Strengthen Your Faith
Sometimes, God allows challenges to refine your faith and draw you closer to Him. James 1:2-4 encourages us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” These moments are not signs of abandonment but opportunities for growth.
Why it matters: Painful experiences don’t mean God has forgotten you—they mean He trusts you enough to shape you through adversity. Lean into Him during these times.
5. God Has a Purpose for Your Life
Even when life seems stagnant or directionless, God is actively working behind the scenes to fulfill His purpose for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” His plans are greater than anything we can imagine.
Why it matters: Feeling forgotten often comes from uncertainty about the future. Trust that God’s plans are unfolding, even if they aren’t visible yet.
A Prayer When You Feel Forgotten
Heavenly Father, thank You for reminding me that You have not forgotten me. Help me to trust in Your unfailing love and remember that You see me, know me, and care for me. Strengthen my faith during this season of waiting and uncertainty. Reassure my heart of Your presence and Your perfect plan for my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Sarah, the wife of Abraham, had passed away. She had been his companion for many years through every journey, every promise, every joy, and heartache. And Abraham did what anyone would do after losing someone they love deeply: he wept. He didn’t avoid his grief. He sat in it, felt it, and honored her with his tears.
Genesis 23:2-3 – “And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her. And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spake unto the sons of Heth…”
But then, he stood up.
Not because the sorrow disappeared, or because he stopped loving her, but because life was still moving forward. There were things to be done, and a future that still held God’s promises.
And Abraham stood up from before his dead These words are a reminder that grief is real and necessary, but so is rising again. Many of us have sat too long beside the memories of what we’ve lost, whether it’s a person, a dream, or a part of ourselves.
Just like the bible says, there’s a time to mourn, and there’s also a time to rise.
Getting up doesn’t mean forgetting. It means choosing not to stay stuck. It means believing that God’s plan for your life isn’t over, even when it feels like something important is gone.
Maybe your “Sarah” was a relationship, a job, a chapter of life, a contract, or a version of yourself you miss. Whatever it is, know this: you can grieve, and you can also move forward.
