SINGLES – How To Be Sure Of Your Choice In Marriage
Being directed or led by God is the most important issue before marriage; when you are not led, it only leads to misery, pains, sorrow, and regrets.
My prayer is that you will not experience these. If your answer to that prayer is amen, now is the time to be sure that the person you are in love with is God’s choice for you.
Just because you are in love with someone does not give you enough basis to enter into a lifetime covenant with the person. It’s very easy to fall in love, all it takes is that person having all the qualities you admire, being physically attractive, spending time together, giving him/her a special place in your heart, thinking about him/her a lot and you’re already in love.
You’ll agree with me that it’s possible to fall in love with more than one person but only one person is qualified to be your wife/husband.
Once you have identified your spouse, you are no longer permitted to desire others, but to only admire them.
GOD then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man. The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. –Genesis 2:22-24 (MSG)
The above scripture shows that God himself was very much involved in bringing the man and the woman together.
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. –Romans 8:14 (KJV)
The question is, do you have God’s spirit? Are you born again? If yes, how are you working on your relationship with God? How consistently do you study God’s word?
What service do you render in a local assembly? How well you answer these questions will determine how well your spirit is developed to receive directions from God, not only in matters of your relationships but in all areas.
You must also make sure that the three aspects of you agree with the choice of your life partner.
Man is essentially a spirit; you have a soul and live in a body. Do these three (spirit, soul, and body) agree in perfect harmony.
Is there peace? Is he/she intelligent and emotionally mature?
Are you friends? Someone said friendship in marriage is about one soul living in two bodies.
Physically, does he/she meet your standard of beauty? Are you attractive to each other?
Go to any length to find adequate answers to these questions. Ask him/her a lot of questions. Find out where he/she is going. Can you fit in?
Is the guy a good leader? How well has he led himself? Can he lead you well?
Becoming sure is all about erasing every doubt or question in your heart about the person, the relationship, and the future. No one can be sure for you. Until you’re totally sure and convinced, don’t say YES!
Don’t tie the nuptial knots until all the knotty issues are resolved. I pray that God will send help your way in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have direction from God. In my relationship decisions, I am being led by the Spirit of God. I am not confused in Jesus Name. I will not fall in love with the wrong person. The Spirit of God will help me to be sure.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy every spirit of distraction and deception in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Take me by the hand; Lead me down the path of truth. You are my Savior, aren’t you? Psalms 25:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Think deeply about your relationships and take an inventory
Yesterday, I established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to worth his threefold agenda in marriages. This is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immured to the strategies and attacks of the enemy.
He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snuff out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
It is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God, get rid of hurts, and make sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder. There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim of the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle it include:
1. Vengeance or Retaliation
This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart
We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt
We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or events that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degrees of hurt. But whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our hearts and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our hearts against hurts is by taking communion. Try it, it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also, take authority over the hurt, and exercise authority over words that cause hurt.
Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there is an exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with, you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness to defile you.
Let your heart be void of offense, bitterness, or hurt; against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
Help Pastor! I Am Living An Adulterous Life. – Part 3
Continued from yesterday.
Here are a few ways to disconnect.
1. Know that it is wrong and it is sinful.
2. Know that the devil can use that avenue to gain access to your family and finances and wreck havoc.
3. The fact that you still go to church does not cleanse you from adultery. As a matter of fact, what happens in such a case is that the spirit of religion and deception takes over. Spirit of religion says you can come to church on Sunday, praise God, and pray and go back to adultery on Monday.
Spirit of deception tells you that all others are doing the same, you are not alone, and you can continue. At this stage, you need to talk to someone who will help you and speak the truth of God’s word into your life to dispel the operations of wrong spirits in your life. The way you will know that there is demonic influence, is that you still continue in such adulterous rendezvous despite knowing that it is wrong!
4. Stay accountable to someone that can help you! You must be willing to talk about it, not all over the place, but at least with someone that will treat your issue confidentially! Seek help before the sin ruins you!
5. Disconnect from the person with whom you are involved. Runaway! That was what Joseph did to escape adultery. He eventually became a Prime Minister. Samson stayed and played spirituality, combining adultery with being a judge over Israel, because the scripture says He judged Israel for twenty years. He lost his glory, died in the midst of his days, and never fulfilled his destiny. Surely, that wasn’t God’s plan for him.
6. Finally. Go to God and ask Him to help you. Fast if you can. At this point, you may ask a trusted man of God to pray with you. You may call me if you like, and I will pray with you! If you are calling today, please make it later in the evening, I have meetings throughout today.
I pray that God will help you as you make up your mind to do it right!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am faithful to my spouse. I love my spouse. I will not allow any distraction to tear my marriage and home apart. I am sincere to my spouse. My marriage is preserved.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every marriage killer; I receive wisdom from God to rule in the affairs of this world. Spirit of God, envelope my marriage with your wisdom and power
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. –Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting. –Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every relationship/affair that your spouse does not know anything about or that he does not approve
The scripture admonishes men to stay faithful to their wives. Learn to enjoy your spouse and stop looking elsewhere. I always advise guys when they want to choose a wife not just to pray, but to ‘watch and pray!’
Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose– don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a whore? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger? Mark well that GOD doesn’t miss a move you make; he’s aware of every step you take. –Proverbs 5:17-21 (MSG)
It is important you marry someone that is physically attractive to you. Men are moved by sight. What is the sense in getting married, and three weeks later or a few months after, you’ve found yourself living an adulterous life in the arms of another/woman? That is a dangerous thing to do. It is not only dangerous to you; it is a direct affront to God and His principles!
The above scriptures say ‘Mark well that God doesn’t miss a move you make; he is aware of every step you take. This means that when you start desecrating the marital covenant or living an adulterous life and you start looking and fooling around with someone else apart from your wife, you will not have God’s support.
You risk losing his favour, mercy, and protection. Stay with your spouse and don’t fall into adulterous traps. This applies to the ladies too.
Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into living an adulterous life at the place of your work. You don’t have any excuse to flirt around! He is not caring, he is not available, he is not sensitive, blab, blab, blab…
Those are not enough reasons to jeopardize your destiny and risk losing all, because when you sin habitually without repentance, you actually lose God and that means losing all!
So what are the ways to avoid affairs?
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am faithful to my spouse. I love my spouse. I will not allow any distraction to tear my marriage and home apart. I am sincere to my spouse. My marriage is preserved.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every marriage killer; I receive wisdom from God to rule in the affairs of this world. Spirit of God, envelope my marriage with your wisdom and power
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. –Ephesians 5:22 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting. –Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every relationship/affairs that your spouse does not know anything about or that he does not approve
God created sexual intercourse to be enjoyed within the marital sanctity. The devil took this and perverted that truth. Today, homosexuals and pedophiles are pushing for rights. The truth of God’s word is being contested, resisted, and opposed like never before. But you see, God’s word cannot be bound!
Stolen bread tastes sweet, but soon your mouth is full of gravel. (Pro 20:17 MSG)
In romantic novels, movies, and soap operas, sex is always painted as sweet. In pornographic films, it is presented as full of ecstasy. This is often presented in the context of cheating, adultery, and the likes. All forms of sexual perversion are presented as sweet.
What you may not know is that a lot of porn actresses are drugged to act these parts. After their filming, most of them rush to the conveniences to throw up. They are forced to continue because of the lure of money.
People are deceived into believing that adultery, oral sex, sleeping with a prostitute and the likes are okay. The Bible never disagrees with the short, temporal sweetness that adultery may present.
Quickie sex with the wrong person looks so sweet, but honey, watch out! The Bible does not mince words. Think about chewing gravel. Yes, sexual acts outside marriage will bring with it its attendant consequences. This kind of intercourse will end up in anguish, bitterness, guilt, dirty feelings and so much more.
Cheating on your spouse may look fun or sweet, especially when you trying to get back at your spouse, but you are planting seeds, and when your harvest comes, you wouldn’t have a nice time.
I always tell couples, please enjoy lovemaking to its fullest. Never deny your spouse of it. Real sweet intercourse can only be found in the marriage context, and how sweet, fulfilling, enriching, and empowering it is.
Conclusively, you should know that God will not judge us generally, so what the trends are and what most people are doing is not a license to join them. We will be judged individually.
The implication of this is that God still expects you to follow His principles and do it right, not only to make heaven and have eternal life but to have the victory here on earth and also to enjoy the maximum blessings that God has for you.
I pray for you this morning, that every distraction be removed from your way in Jesus name!
I pray that God will send that very help you need your way this morning to help you stay on side of God.
You will not miss God’s best for your life in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My body belongs to God. I glorify God in my body.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy all unclean spirits trying to work through my mind.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? (Pro 6:27 KJV)
