Being single can come with all kinds of emotions. Some days feel okay. I mean, you’re managing things well, staying productive, and maybe even enjoying the space to grow on your own. Other days may feel quiet, slow, or uncertain. Maybe you thought you’d be in a different place by now—career-wise, financially, emotionally, or in your relationships. Maybe you’re wondering when life will finally start making sense.
And when things feel delayed or unclear, joy can feel distant. Not because you’re ungrateful, but because your reality looks different from what you hoped for or expected.
That’s where this verse speaks clearly.
John 15:11 — “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”(NIV)
Jesus said these words to His disciples to remind them that joy wasn’t meant to come from their circumstances but from being connected to Him. He says His joy can be in you, and that it can be complete. Not halfway. Not temporary. But full.
This isn’t about forcing yourself to feel happy or pretending you don’t care about the things you still want. It’s about learning to stay close to God and letting Him be your source of peace and strength in the middle of it all.
The truth is, expectations can quietly steal your joy. You might not even realize it’s happening. You expected to be at that “Place”. You expected something to have happened by now. And when those things don’t happen, it can feel like you’re falling behind. But joy isn’t found in finally reaching the next goal. It’s found in knowing that God is present and involved in your life, even when you can’t see how everything will work out.
Your life isn’t on pause. This season matters. It’s not wasted time. God knows where you are, and He’s still leading you. You don’t have to wait until everything comes together before you allow yourself to experience joy. Jesus offers it now, and He offers it fully.
The most crucial element in relationships and marriages is perhaps direction.
Knowing who to date.
Knowing who to go out with.
Knowing who to get married to.
Knowing where to settle down.
Knowing what kind of career path, job, or business endeavor to pursue.
Knowing how many children to go for.
The list goes on and it’s endless.
The greatest secret of resounding success is the direction and knowing specifically what to do.
We know that there is a template or blueprint that God has for us individually and for our relationships and marriages. Plugging into this specific template eliminates most issues that might arise.
How do we get to a place where God directs our paths?
That is what I want to show you this morning.
Pro 3:5 (KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
The greatest enemy of having God direct us is twofold from the above verse:
~ When you don’t trust God with all your heart
~ When you lean or depend on your understanding.
The next verse tells us precisely what to do.
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Did you see that? Acknowledge Him in all your ways and the next thing is that He will direct your paths!
How do you acknowledge God in all your ways, especially in relationships and marriages?
Put Him first place in your life. Put His Word first place and honour that Word by reading and studying regularly.
Talk to Him before every decision, both minor and major decisions! Let Him be involved all the way.
When you include God this way, He promises that He will direct your paths.
As I close, let us take a look at that same verse in The Amplified Version:
Pro 3:6 (AMPC) In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
I pray that God will direct your paths indeed! He will give you the wisdom needed to be able to acknowledge Him in all your ways!
I was at a meeting this past few days, and our father, Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole, was ministering. He quoted a scripture that really struck a chord. It will bless you.
2Sa 14:26 (KJV) And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year’s end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king’s weight.
The scripture above referred to Absalom, who was the most handsome man in the Old Testament.
He would cut his hair at the end of every year because it had become heavy on him.
What is heavy on you that you are coping with? You are supposed to “poll” it.
Interestingly, the same hair was the point of his beauty. But that which is responsible for his beauty also became a point of weariness due to the heaviness.
How often have we found out that our point of giftings can often become a point of distraction, if left unpolled!
This is the end of the year! You need some polling to do!
The Amplified Bible calls it a burden!
2Sa 14:26 (AMPC) And when he cut the hair of his head, he weighed it–for at each year’s end he cut it, because its weight was a burden to him–and it weighed 200 shekels by the king’s weight.
Many of you are probably gifted and smart, but your weight has become too much of a burden!
The scripture rightly says:
Mat 11:28 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
That hair that has grown over your relationship needs some polling. Some numbers need to be deleted. Some relationships need to be discarded. They have become a point of iniquity, and you know! Go get some barbing now!
Refuse to carry all demonic hair on your head! Do not allow any heaviness!
May God give you proper rest as you approach the coming year!
From Shadows to Light: A Marriage Magnificently Restored
In an African village, Adisa and Folake’s marriage was once admired for its strength and harmony. Adisa, a celebrated hunter, and Folake, a wise healer’s daughter, came from contrasting family backgrounds that shaped their values and expectations in marriage. As their relationship faced challenges, shadows of doubt and fear crept in, threatening to unravel their bond.
Adisa grew up in a household where faithfulness was a distorted concept. His father, Chief Olusegun, a revered village elder, was known for his wisdom and leadership but also for his infidelity. Chief Olusegun had multiple wives and numerous affairs, accepted by the village as signs of his power. However, for young Adisa, this environment eroded his understanding of loyalty. His mother, Moyo, deeply respected but often overshadowed by the chaos of her husband’s relationships, added to Adisa’s confusion about fidelity.
In contrast, Folake’s family embodied trust and integrity. Her father, Akinola, the village healer, was revered for his knowledge and commitment to his patients. His wife, Ireti, was known for her kindness and wisdom. Together, they raised Folake in an environment where loyalty was a lived reality. Folake grew up watching her parents’ strong, faithful partnership, which deeply influenced her own values. However, a previous relationship had shattered her belief in these ideals when her former suitor betrayed her trust, leaving emotional scars.
The contrast between Adisa’s upbringing and Folake’s background created fertile ground for conflict. As the years passed, Adisa began to mirror his father’s behavior, frequently disappearing into the forest and becoming increasingly secretive. Folake grew suspicious, particularly when Adisa would keep late nights and avoid sharing details about his whereabouts.
Folake’s fears were confirmed when she found a piece of cloth indicating Adisa’s involvement with another woman. The discovery shattered her trust. She confronted Adisa, her voice trembling with anguish and anger. Burdened by guilt, Adisa struggled to defend himself. The tension in their home was palpable, and the village elders grew concerned for the couple’s future.
Seeking escape from the guilt and tension, Adisa embarked on another hunting expedition, venturing far beyond his usual territory. Enchanted by a woman he encountered, named Amara, Adisa tried to woo her. However, Amara was not interested, and her rejection bruised Adisa’s ego. Determined to redeem his image, Adisa followed her home, hoping to win her over with persistence.
Unbeknownst to Adisa, the village was in conflict with a neighboring tribe. Mistaken for an enemy scout, Adisa was surrounded by villagers. Panic surged within him as he realized the gravity of his situation. He narrowly escaped multiple attacks using his hunting skills but sustained injuries. Finally, he reached the safety of familiar territory, battered and bruised.
Returning home, Adisa’s physical wounds mirrored the emotional scars he had inflicted on Folake. His mother, Adebisi, had come to visit at Folake’s insistence, hoping her wisdom could help. Adebisi had warned Adisa about the dangers of infidelity, emphasizing how it could destroy relationships and corrupt the soul. As Adisa lay on his mat, nursing his wounds, his mother’s words echoed in his mind. Determined to mend what he had broken, Adisa approached Folake with sincere remorse, ending all inappropriate relationships and committing to transparency.
Folake, though wary, began to see Adisa’s genuine efforts and slowly started to heal. She voiced her fears and sought reassurance, and Adisa, guided by his mother’s wisdom, responded with patience and understanding. They worked on better communication, learning to listen to and understand each other’s needs and fears.
Lessons:
– Trust, communication, and genuine effort are crucial in mending a broken relationship.
– Sincere commitment is essential to heal deep emotional wounds caused by infidelity.
– Rebuilding trust requires dedication to changing behavior and honest communication.
– Mutual effort and patience are necessary to restore a damaged bond.
– Healing and reconciliation are possible with persistent, genuine actions and open dialogue.
Back in the early days of our marriage, around 2002, my wife and I got into a quarrel that dragged on for days. Strangely, I can’t recall what sparked it. However, during this dispute, something remarkable happened: I experienced a spiritual awakening. For the first time, I glimpsed into the realm of the supernatural and saw the deep-seated animosity that the devil and his followers harbor toward marriages and families. It was eye-opening to witness the lengths to which the devil would go to sow discord and disrupt relationships. Fortunately, the quarrel between my wife and me was resolved swiftly thereafter.
If God were to grant you a glimpse into the spiritual realm, you’d find yourself softening swiftly. All the anger and aggression would dissipate as you realize you’ve been under demonic sway. Demons are indeed real. While the physical world may seem bustling, the spiritual realm is even more so.
Understand, there exist powerful malevolent forces, opposing courtships and marriages, aiming to sow doubt and discord. These evil spirits seek to manipulate your thoughts, feeding you assumptions that could jeopardize your marriage.
The real question is: will you align your destiny with hell? As a child of God, the devil cannot intrude into your life, family, or home unless you invite him in. Remember, the devil has already been defeated. However, by disregarding God’s principles, you inadvertently open the door for his influence.
A child of God cannot be possessed by a demon but can experience oppression. This oppression can pave the way for yielding to demonic influences. In your relationships, marriage, and home, it’s crucial to steer clear of certain pitfalls. These missteps can swiftly open the door, providing the devil with an opportunity to wreak havoc. One such mistake to avoid is harboring bitterness towards each other.
Don’t get bitter at each other
Bitterness should be shunned like a plague, for it is far more destructive. When bitterness takes root, it becomes a barrier to receiving help, as even prayers go unanswered. It’s not merely a fleeting emotion; it’s a deep-seated root that, if left unchecked, can lead to further devastation. Reflect on the scriptures for guidance in this matter.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
When bitterness takes hold, it can cause God’s grace to falter, a perilous position to find oneself in. It warns of trouble ahead, as bitterness only begets more trouble. Ultimately, many will be tainted by its influence, leading to impulsive actions. In marriages, it can affect the children, while in single life, it may disrupt academic and career pursuits.
It all begins with getting hurt. You may have an expectation, perhaps awaiting an apology, but none comes. As you grapple with this, another hurt follows, compounded by the absence of an apology. Then, another action adds to the hurt, perpetuating the cycle.
These accumulated hurts can evoke a range of emotions, from feeling unloved to harboring hatred toward the very person you’re meant to love. Before you know it, the devil steps in, planting seeds of suggestions and assumptions. Remember, the devil is a deceitful liar, the originator of falsehoods incapable of speaking the truth.
Embracing and believing these assumptions leads to a hardening of the heart, gradually plunging you into depression and despair. In this state, where scripture and God’s love are pushed aside, the sole focus becomes proving a point, paving the way for bitterness to take hold. In the grip of bitterness, your spouse becomes perceived as the enemy, ensnaring you in a trap.
The wife withdraws emotionally, while the husband’s anger escalates, exacerbating the situation. Bitterness clouds judgment, leading to regrettable decisions.
When trapped in bitterness, there are paths to freedom.
1. Prayer is key
Engage in fervent prayer to clear the mind and open yourself to God’s guidance, which offers a way out.
2. Patience
Patience is paramount when dealing with a bitter spouse. It requires an abundance of patience to guide them out of their bitterness. In cases where both parties harbor bitterness, it’s crucial to set aside hostilities and collaborate towards resolution.
3. Forgiveness
Additionally, swift forgiveness is imperative. Only through quick forgiveness can prayers find their efficacy.
4. Humility
Humility plays a pivotal role as well. Rather than asserting dominance, humility fosters an environment conducive to reconciliation.
For singles, the process remains the same. If bitterness and hurts permeate your relationship or courtship, seeking help and mentorship is essential to uproot the bitterness. It’s imperative not to proceed down the aisle burdened by bitterness.
