Ok, I promised to continue from where we left off yesterday and I will keep to my promise as some new topics are screaming at me right now. Yesterday we looked at the first two things that are very important before you say ‘I do’, which are
1. Be ready to massage his ego 2. Be ready to respect him
We still have five more points to go.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually 4. Be ready to cook for him 5. Be ready to dress for him 6. Be ready to pray for him. 7. Be ready to help him
Today we continue from the third one.
3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually You and I know this is very important right? But here are few things about that. Now, talking to married couples first, I want to tell wives, if it is possible, try as much as you can to always satisfy your husband sexually. It is the number one preventive for an adulterous lifestyle. I am not trying to justify any man’s recklessness in his family, but I am saying a few things can be guard against.
Young wives, you need to know that jeru trip is not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me! That is not fair!
Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defraud ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!
Why is jeru trip so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that a sexual relationship should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met in a one-nightstand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regrets!
If you are not enjoying it as a wife, you should let your husband know so that you can find ways to resolve that. It is not right to keep rebuffing his advances because ‘you are not enjoying it!’ You should be enjoying it to the fullest because one of the reasons why God made jeru trip is pleasure. There could be many reasons why you don’t enjoy it and you might need to see a trusted counselor together (never alone) who can keep your issues confidential.
If you feel your husband rushes you and is never patient, teach him and lead him gently until he learns to wait for you. I would have gone deeper on this, but singles are reading this too, so I don’t want to ‘afflict’ their souls! Lol.
Let him know areas you would want him to touch. Every man ought to know every lady needs an average of twenty minutes to be fully ready! So ladies, when you notice your husband has been reacting, withdrawing, getting angry at little things, getting irritated at almost everything, complaining about what he used to ignore, check out whether you have been refusing his advances and his ego is not allowing him to ‘beg’ for it. It is actually not a good place for any man to be because a sexually starved man is capable of messing up anytime!
Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than a physical workout, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!
For the singles, I mentioned some things yesterday. You are not to satisfy anybody until after you say I do, which is in marriage. You can put forth all kinds of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour, and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour, and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.
If as a married couple, you are already involved with adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.
Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom to make my relationship work
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God will give you wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 4:7(KJV) Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Sister Faith was spiritual! While on campus, she was everywhere. From prayer group to the Choir and then the missions, she tirelessly served God and it was obvious God’s hands were upon her. She counseled younger ladies, prayed for them, and ensured new converts were established in the fellowship. The fellowship missed her like “Mississippi” when she left.
At the one-year national orientation camp, the fire continued to burn, but not for long! The news soon filtered, she got involved in a relationship with someone who is not born again. All the attempts of other ‘brethren’ to stop her were futile. In later years, she was not happy. Her rich husband would not allow her to work or serve God. She became a permanent housewife, disappeared from church, and later entered into depression. Needless to say, she did not enjoy her marriage.
The question of destiny! This one cannot be over-emphasized. As singles, you cannot be involved with a man or woman that has no sense of destiny in God! In these days, and for whatever reason, you should not go into a marriage with someone that will hinder or stop your relationship with God. There are dream killers and destiny destroyers. When you marry such people, whole destinies can be swallowed up.
I feel like I’ve got a trumpet in my mouth to sound a warning to this generation about emotions and sexuality. You see, God cannot be mocked! Marriage is not what you fall into like a lamb being led to the slaughter because you are in love. Marriage comes with pressures, and those pressures are amplified when you get married to someone with no sense of destiny.
With marriage, dreams can come alive, and dreams can die, literally vapourize until you become a shadow of yourself. With marriage, the heavens can be opened, and with it, the heavens can also become iron. With marriage, you can move to your next level in God and you can be reduced to the level of your partner. With marriage, you can enter into unbelievable rebellion and bite the fingers that fed you, and you can honour those who have contributed to your life positively. With marriage, you can find your rhyme, come alive with hidden gifts bursting out into manifestation and divine expressions, and gifts can also be wrapped up and buried in the tomb of unbelief and depression.
Why is marriage that powerful? You see it is a covenant. In the book of Proverbs, the Bible says God’s word will keep you away from evil men and strange women. So, there are evil men and strange women. There are Delilahs whose mission is to destroy. There are Jezebels whose mission is to use you. There are Samsons who are anointed but are full of lust and will not mind sleeping with you before marriage and then preach the next day. There are Herods who don’t see anything in killing infants and will take to abort over and over.
In marriage, destinies are wedged together. Like the dog whose jaws are locked when it bites, there are people you kiss and your jaws are locked. In marriage, blessings and afflictions become intertwined and your issues become his\her issues.
Psa 92:1-2 KJV It is a good thing to give thanks unto the LORD, and to sing praises unto thy name, O most High: To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,
I love this scripture a lot! It is a good thing! What do you do that translates into a good thing?
There are four things mentioned.
To give thanks unto the Lord
Sing praises unto God’s name
To show forth His loving kindness in the morning
To show forth His faithfulness every night
It is good as a child of God to learn to do these daily! Why must we do these? It’s because it is good to do them. Just like when you say it is good to eat good food. It is good to have your bath…the same way, for your spiritual health, for your victory in life; it is good to these things.
Rather than complain about your partner, give thanks unto the Lord. Rather than nag at him, give thanks unto the Lord. Rather than sulk over being jilted or abandoned, give thanks unto the Lord.
Then it says, sing praises unto God’s name. You don’t need to be on key to do that. You can even sing along with your tab or phone.
Rather than listen to Lady Gaga or Beyonce, sing praises unto God’s name. Rather than sing some secular songs whose lyrics are negative, sing praises unto God’s name!
Then, learn to shew forth His lovingkindness in the morning! How do you do that?
Message translations says:
Psa 92:2 MSG To announce your love each daybreak…
Common now! You show forth His loving kindness by announcing His love each morning! You’ve got to come to a place in God where you refuse to wake up with some heaviness because of what happened the previous day or what is ahead of you in the new day. You see, praising God is not what you do with how you feel or you will not be able to do anything. Refuse to wake up into some sad state of heart. Refuse to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I have checked my bed severally and I also told my wife to check, there is no wrong side! Both sides of the bed are right sides; whichever side I wake from, I am good to go! You see, our bed is laid with the sheets of praise! It’s got to be good!
In the morning, the first thing to do is not to hiss and shake your head in some regrets! Stop waking up with a frown. Did someone fight you in your dream? Learn to praise Him like your life depends on it because your life depends on it!
Finally, it says, to show forth His lovingkindness in the night! Every night! That is what it says! Don’t let the last thing you do in the night be listening to News or watching some Home videos that can break homes! Don’t fall asleep on some music that can dirty your spirit.
One translation of that verse says
Psa 92:2 BBE To make clear your mercy in the morning, and your unchanging faith every night;
Ruminate and meditate on that unchanging faith of God every night! Never lose hope. Hold on to God’s word and believe that the following day will be your day!
You see, when you consciously and deliberately learn to start and end your days like these, it does something to you. It positions you in a place where you are strategically ready for what God wants to do in your life. It helps you to cooperate with God’s plan for your life!
When you learn to do these daily, there are two things that will happen in your life.
Psa 92:10, 12 AMP But my horn (emblem of excessive strength and stately grace) You have exalted like that of a wild ox; I am anointed with fresh oil. The [uncompromisingly] righteous shall flourish like the palm tree [be long-lived, stately, upright, useful, and fruitful]; they shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon [majestic, stable, durable, and incorruptible].
In verse 10, your strength will be exalted. Your productivity will be maximized. Your result will be assured. Your victory will be certain.
In verse 12, you will flourish. You will succeed. You will grow and expand. You will be durable and incorruptible!
Get ready for some victory as you listen to GOD on this, as you start your day with Him and end with Him. Before you do this for long, you will surely see the hands of the Lord on not just your relationship and marriage, but in your business and every area of your life!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will praise God in the morning and in the night. I will not give in to depression. My victory is ascertained.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh God, teach me how to praise you all day long and have victory.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY O Lord, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep (Psalms 92:5 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to praise God today
Apart from the points we discussed yesterday, how else will a man show his love for you?
Let’s go…
4. He will never raise his hands against you. A godly man that truly loves you will not lift his hands against you. Ladies, hear me and hear me well, if he is already donating slaps to you and you are gladly receiving them in love, it won’t stop after marriage. In fact, he will take it to the next level, and turn you into his punching bag. But he said ‘he will change!’ Why can’t he change now? Marriage doesn’t change anybody! In fact, it amplifies who you are because there is pressure of living with somebody now.
If you are courting a man that beats you regularly, that is nothing more than courting disaster. Deliver yourself like a roe out of the hands of the hunter and fly away before you become a prey. I know there are soul ties because of sexual involvement which is disobedience in itself, but the reality that you might be beaten all the days of your life should severe any soul ties and make you wake up! It is not God’s plan for you to be in a relationship where you are being physically abused consistently!
5. He will not draw you into sexual perversion. A godly man that truly loves you will not pull you into the world of sexual perversion where unimaginable things are being perpetrated. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like a jeru trip object, because you are not one.
He will not suggest to you things that you know are ungodly. He will not satisfy his lust at the expense of your relationship with God. He will not be asking you to send nude pictures. For what purpose would that be? He will not pull you further into the miry clay of sin where you keep slipping into iniquity. He will pull you up. He will be an encourager. He will be a positive motivator. Don’t settle for less.
6. A godly man that truly loves you will be accountable. He is not the alpha and omega of his life and home. He has mentors and authority figures over him that he is submissive to. Ladies, never get involved with a guy who has no authority figures over him. Anything could happen, and there would be nobody to talk to.
7. A godly man that truly loves you is a giver. He gives and he supports God’s work. He does not argue about paying tithes. He gives to God and he gives to you! What if he has not started work? Giving has nothing to do with the amount, it has a lot to do with the gesture and the heart!
May God grant you more understanding in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love with the wrong man.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God leads you to the man who will love you genuinely
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask questions about your relationship and take decisions.
1. She will truly love you. How do you know a woman truly loves you? She will submit to you. Submission is not being subservient or being oppressed, it is a conscious effort of allowing the man to have the final say as the scripture suggests.
One of the most effective ways to influence your husband is to submit. One of the fastest ways to aggravate a man is to remain stubborn and non-submissive. A man is not supposed to lord it over his wife, he is supposed to relate with her lovingly while she respectfully submits. Being submissive is not being muted, she should be able to offer suggestions and use her initiatives, howbeit, the man should have the final say. When you mute your wife, you have just silenced your helper!
2. She will truly and regularly intercede for you. A woman is a womb-man, and that is what differentiates her from a man. She has the capacity to conceive and then birth. All the confusion in this generation ought not to be. Male and female created he them! Not male and male or female and female. God did not create Adam and Steve. God did not create Eve and Eva. So there should be no issues. A woman is created with a womb, not one acquired through the trans-gender process.
She has a womb. She has the same capacity in the spirit realm and she wields tremendous spiritual power if she has a relationship with God. Just like she is endowed to birth in the natural, she is empowered to intercede in the spirit realm. I am not saying men should not pray, because the scripture says men ought to pray, but I am saying a woman can birth things in the spirit realm. If she truly loves you, she will not walk away because of challenges, she will take it up in the place of prayers.
Have you seen the scripture in Hebrews that says –
“Women received their dead raised to life again…?” (Hebrews 11:35a)
It means a woman can take what appears dead and gone and bring life into it again.
3. She will truly add to you and not deplete you. A woman not only births, she is also a multiplier. A woman will always multiply what you give her. Give a woman some ingredients and there goes a pot of delicious stew. Give a woman a house and she makes a home out of it. Give a woman spermatozoa, and she brings forth a baby months after. She is just a multiplier. That is why the scripture says a woman shall compass a man. That is also why the scripture says a woman is a helper to her husband. Not a distraction. A wife; not a knife. A wife helps; a knife cuts and lacerates. There is a difference!
When a lady that loves you comes into your life in marriage, she will add to you. He that findeth a wife findeth good and obtaineth favour! She will truly add favour to your life when she truly loves you. And that is why men should be careful about the kind of seed they plant in a lady. If you sow the wind, she will take it, press down shaken together and give you a whirlwind. If you sow stress into her life, she will give you frustration. Be careful because she is a multiplier!
