I want to write to you this morning as a father would write his son or daughter on qualities to watch out for in deciding who to get married to.
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes. Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green. The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir. – Son 1:15-17 (KJV)
Let’s get into this by the Holy Spirit.
1. Beauty and Comeliness
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair… – Son 1:15(KJV)
The word fair means “goodly, pleasant, well.”
Attraction is important. Physical endearment is of utmost importance.
The pulchritude should not be ignored in the equation of marriage. Get married to someone that you are attracted to.
God will never lead you to someone you hate with a passion. He is not an author of confusion.
No matter how many dreams you had about someone, if he or she is someone you loathe and despise, do not be coerced into a relationship by some spiritual experience you can’t prove its source.
He should be pleasant to your eyes. She should be pleasant to your eyes.
After the wedding, you should wake up singing in the Spirit when you behold him or her, not pleading the blood of Jesus against him or waking up with a hiss and regret. So, this is important, okay.
Marriage is not a hundred meter dash, it is a marathon and you are in it for the long haul. So, your lover must be pleasant.
In reality, nobody is ugly. Beauty is in the beholder’s eye.
Your lover may not be pleasant to all, but he or she must be pleasant to you. That is all that matters.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes are opened. I look well before making a choice
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes.
Today, I want to pray and bless you being the first day of the year!
I want to invoke the anchor scripture of this ministry over you and yours.
If you are a member of KHC, and particularly if you are a partner, it is simply your heritage to partake of the blessings of the mandate.
Fourteen years ago, KHC began with newsletters which were circulated all over Nigeria.
The scriptures God give us then is what I want to use to pray for you this morning.
The hand of the LORD was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones, – Eze 37:1 (KJV)
If the hand of the Lord is upon me, why would I be set in a valley of bones? I thought I would be taken to a mountain of meat and drinks!
Are you in a valley experience in your relationship or marriage where everything seems dry?
Listen to me, you are not going to die there!
And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry. – Eze 37:2 (KJV)
God wanted the prophet to see first of all that naturally speaking, the situation is beyond repair.
Lo, the bones were very dry! Everything looked awry. Finances is in a mess.
In relationship and marriage, it is a definition of abandonment and disappointment.
The bones are dry! But you know what? There is nothing in your life right now that God cannot fix!
Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD. – Eze 37:4 (KJV)
So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone. – Eze 37:7-10 (KJV)
The bones were not only dry, they were scattered.
Are you in a place like that? Nobody has asked you out in a while. Dry bones. Those that asked you out were unbelievers and irresponsible men. Dry bones.
Adam said bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh… but what we have here are only bones!
But as he prophesied, something began to happen. The bones that were dry suddenly received life. Bone that were scattered started looking for each other. Sinews came upon them. There arose a great army!
Whatever area of your life this morning that looks like dry bones, life is coming upon it in Jesus name!
This morning, I prophesy as I am commanded, let there be a noise and a shaking.
Let there be a shaking away of every shame and disgrace in your life in Jesus name!
Let there be a noise, a noise of joy coming from your home and your family in Jesus name!
A noise of rejoicing coming forth from your life in Jesus name.
I prophesy to the bones that are scattered, the spouse that seems scattered away, let there be a coming together now in Jesus name.
Yes, let there be a supernatural coming together in Jesus name!
I prophesy and release the breath of God, the power of the Holy Spirit on every area that is dry, receive life now in Jesus name!
A great army of finances is arising for you.
A great army of resources is arising for you in Jesus name.
In the very valley which have been dubbed a valley of dry bones, a great army arose!
In the very land where you have been afflicted and you have toiled, God will give you the victory and make you rejoice in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My bone is locating me this year.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to locate the bone of my bone.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ezekiel 37:10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.
There are four basic temperaments. Your wife falls into one primary temperament and a secondary one.
She would always act out based on her temperamental disposition. It is your duty as the man to find out what her temperament is.
Knowing her temperament will help you to also know her strength and weaknesses. This will further enhance the ability to help her in maximizing her strength and minimizing her weaknesses.
This is what productivity in life is all about. Making adjustments and not just being fixated on who you are as a result of your temperament.
You have to constantly change, drop bad attitudes and negative tendencies and embrace productive habits.
Your temperament will never be an excuse for your life’s outcome. So before you say you really know her, what is her temperament?
2. Understand her Choices
A lady thinks different from a man. Most of the time, her choices will be emotional and shockingly sentimental.
If you don’t understand this, you will want to shut her down most times, simply because she is not logical.
The reality is that not all life’s decisions can be established on the ground of logic. Sometimes, you have to embrace her emotional and sentimental point of view to strike a balance.
Ignoring her or refusing to understand her choices can cost you a lot of losses.
She would always prefer you to buy food and kitchen stuffs rather than change the paint of your car!
She loves shiny things!
Understand her and don’t just focus on your own needs to her detriment.
3. Understand her Femininity
You have to understand that she is a female.
She is tender! She is sensitive! She is emotional! She is motherly! She is caring! She is a love being! She wants to be cared for!
She wants you to sometimes know what is wrong with her without her saying it because she herself doesn’t know!
She wants you to complement her always, all day, all moments and she would never be tired of receiving complements.
She wants you to rub her shoulder after eating a good meal instead of rubbing your tummy!
She wants you to verbalise your love, act it out and really mean it.
Compliment her without being sarcastic. She wants you to speak in hushed tones, using romantic words.
She doesn’t want you shouting at her or raising your voice unnecessarily.
She wants you be a lover boy! Her knight in shining armour!
What else do you think she wants?
Let me hear you in the comment section.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to love her God’s way
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to love my partner at all times.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Her needs are specialized and peculiar. They are different from your own needs. From spiritual needs to physical needs and emotional needs, you have to find out!
You will immediately discover her preferences, that what excites you on Television doesn’t not tickle her fancy! Find out and seek to meet those needs!
3. Understand her Language
Her language is like her password. It could be gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch or acts of service.
You don’t communicate to her on your own terms but on her own terms.
Find out her definition of “romantic” and go after that. The definition of the word “romantic” is not what you find in a dictionary, but there is a dictionary in her mind with its own definition like no other, authored by her, and you have to find a way to retrieve that dictionary and check the definition which would often be different from what you think.
4. Understand her pressures
She usually has pressures. Most times, she is not even seeking for those pressures to be taken away, because they are often necessities of life.
She just wants to know that there is somebody who understands what she is going through.
Many years ago, my wife explained this to me. She was pouring her hearts to me, and expounding her pressures and at a point I bursted out;
“Hey! I am not the Holy Spirit. I cannot take these things away!”
“And then she looked at me and said,
“I know you are not the Holy Spirit. I am not asking you to solve these issues, I only want to have a feeling somebody understands what I am going through!
Wow! That is what that lady in your life wants! An understanding heart and that takes the pressures off.
She just wants an understanding, loving and caring man!
Unfortunately, most times, single ladies look for this in wrong places and often fall into the hands of men who are only looking for sexual gratification.
If you are a single lady, make your needs known to God and never offer your body in exchange for some care that will vaporise the next minute!
Wait for the process of meeting that right man who will love you appropriately and will take care of you!
May God grant you strength in your inner man to cooperate with God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to understand my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 3:17-19 (KJV) That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love.
Why is that prayer important? It is so important because if you marry wrong, everything can quickly go wrong and awry.
I tell young folks, be patient. Do not be in a hurry! Calm down!
Psa 46:10a (KJV) – Be still, and know that I am God…
The Message Translation is more apt.
Psa 46:10a (MSG) – “Step out of the traffic!
Farabale!
In English, Farabalestic!
Patience has virtues. Waiting works with time, and with time, intentions and motives are exposed.
Walk down the aisle, don’t run. Do not chase anybody to the altar, and do not be coerced into matrimony.
The wedding is ring is not supposed to be handcuff. It is a token of covenant, not an item of bondage.
Dear singles, never ever get involved with a man who doesn’t know God. He must not only know God, but he must also be a God chaser. He must be filled with the Holy Ghost.
Somebody or something would always fill him, he cannot be void, so you had better be sure it is the Holy Spirit. That way, your risk is minimized, because the love of God shed abroad in a man’s heart does wonders to his decisions and dispositions.
After the wedding, you are subject to his wisdom or to his whims and caprices. You are subject to his love or his lust. You are subject to his creativity or his perversion.
He becomes your head in reality and in imagination. The oil flows down, or the blows!
He lays hands on you to pray for you or lay blows on you to prey on you.
He stops you from attending church or stops you from missing church.
He takes you to the club or takes you to God.
He becomes your head or your headache.
She becomes your help or your hell.
She becomes your inspiration or your frustration.
She takes sexual stress off you or pushes you into the waiting hands of adultery.
She honors you or becomes your horror.
She nags you until you feel like a rag.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not marry wrong.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to get it right in marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
