Continued from yesterday. You can read part 1 HERE
Some ladies fall in love before trying to find out about his character and flaws. So many young ladies with great destinies have jeopardized their future by getting involved with the wrong person.
Stop falling in love with a stranger on Facebook! It is not ideal. There are so many marital casualties today as a result of unguarded and careless relationships. Profiles, timelines, and Twitter pages cannot be used as a conclusive decision on marriage!
Ladies, don’t wait till you are head over heels in love, with flying butterflies in your tummy before probing who he is. You should find out a lot when you are first of all friends before becoming lovers. That is why friendship is very important. You would have seen enough traits that will help you make up your mind about who you want.
Sisters, have friends. That is where relationship will develop from. If you don’t have platonic friends, then you are left with strangers to approach you, and most of the time when strangers come, they are looking for sex.
That is why most sisters would say things like “it is always unserious people that approach me.” The question is do you have friends?
For guys, become friends first before you make your intention known. Do you know there would not be issues of ‘nails’ or rejection because you are already friends? She would simply tell you ‘No’ politely because she would not want to offend her friend!
When you are already in love without friendship, the likelihood is that your feelings for him will block every form of reasoning and sense of judgment.
You know he drinks, but you don’t care. You know she smokes, but you close your eyes. There are some character traits you can watch out for while just friends.
It is a simple principle of “make the tree good and the fruits will be good.” A guy can’t make a good husband if he doesn’t have a good character.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
As sister Sube walked down the road, her mind was stormy and depressed. This is in contrast with the calm and unusual tranquil weather. Without was so peaceful, but within were rumblings of the murky waters of despondency!
Every step she took down the road was punctuated with deep-seated sighs. What is her problem? She feels something is wrong with her because nobody is proposing to her and age is no longer on her side!
On the other hand, Brother Zerubabbel too is so worried that he is almost bending over. What is his problem? Brother Zeru is angry with all the so-called sisters because he has proposed to thirteen sisters in the same church and each of them gave him a nail.
The nails, sorry, the spikes were so painful. It was as if the sisters all had a meeting on him, actually, they did.
The above scenarios are issues that bother on cultivating friendship the right and healthy way.
Never forget that how to get a friend is more important than how to get a lover. Lovers don’t drop from the sky; they are made from friendship as the foundation.
Loving is a process that should start with friendship. Don’t fall in love with someone who is not your friend. It is not advisable to toe the line of ‘love at first sight.’ Why? You can only love who you know! You might have some body chemistry at first sight, but certainly, it is not falling in love like we normally allude.
Love is a spiritual entity that happens not just in the intellectual realm but in the emotional and spiritual realms as well. When you have a one–night stand with a stranger, it is nothing but lust and lack of discipline. You don’t even know the person and yet the moment you are sexually involved, your histories become intertwined, afflictions and demonic influences are exchanged and dangerous habits creep into your life after such reckless sexual encounters.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
Yesterday we learned about baggages in marriage, that we all have and come into our marriage with different kinds of baggage.
We also learned that these baggages are unresolved issues from our past, our background, and from our childhood experiences. These baggages or bags or luggages have to be emptied and the content exposed and dealt with.
We established that in marriage no secrets are allowed. Everything must be open and talked about.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Gen 2:25 (KJV)
Today, we will be looking at the various types of baggage we carry into marriage. Most of these we don’t even know we carry. Rest comes to our wearied souls as promised by Jesus only when we learn to come unto him in total surrender and then confess our faults one to another.
Types of Baggage
Relationship Baggage
This type of baggage is from our childhood relationships. Where we felt rejected, unloved, neglected, or criticized. Where we have a sense of shame or a low self-esteemed of ourselves. For whatever reasons we feel not up to the standard of other people.
Spiritual Baggage
Here we have learned to combine spirituality with lies and other vices. We grow up in church yet do a lot of bad stuff, like steal offerings, watch pornography in the church toilet or during sermons, sleep with a unit member, and still hide under being spiritual.
Moral Baggage
When you have this type of baggage, your sense of judgment is warped. You cannot decertify between good and bad. You even call good bad. You don’t know what is morally right. You smoke weed, you get involved with lesbianism, watch pornography, gamble, and the like.
Emotional Baggage
You were in several relationships that never worked or were involved with different ladies/ men and had emotional affairs with them. Maybe you were involved sexually with them in other to keep the relationship.
Physical Baggage
Here you kept your distance from people; this is similar to relational baggage. You enjoy solitude. You don’t want or like to associate with people. You suspect everybody and feel everyone is bad.
Sexual Baggage
With this, you are involved with all manner of sexual escapades. Sex toys, threesome, abortion, sex with strange men and women, prostitution, one-night stand, sex for material gains, etc.
Now that we have an idea of the type of baggages we may be carrying, these are the steps involved in dealing with them.
1. Unpack Your Bag: Stop hiding your bags, bring them to the open and be willing and ready to unpack.
2. Unload: Seek help from counselors, don’t try to handle things alone. You also need someone to be accountable to.
3. Be Patient: Don’t be too much in a hurry, be patient and follow due process.
4. Lighten Your Load by Forgiven: Forgive all those you have to forgive including yourself.
5. Take Classes Together: You need information, so you and your spouse needs all the education you can get.
6. Let Go Of Past Hurts: It’s important you let go and keep them in your past, so that you can experience new life.
God bless your marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Rest comes to my soul
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to be open about my baggages
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 (KJV)
Sally is caught in a cross-fire. She really wanted to submit to her husband, but then some of the things her boo wanted her to do clearly contradicts the scriptures. What should she do? Cooperate with her boo and risk losing God’s favour or hold unto God while her love life collapses and her homes boils?
Even in courtship, the lady is often caught in between pleasing him and pleasing Him!
Let’s take a look at the scriptures.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. – Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)
So we see clearly and succinctly here that a wife is supposed to submit to her husband. It never says that a lady should submit to her own fiancé!
So, when he says you must come over and spend weekends, you don’t have to obey and end up jeopardizing your relationship with God in your bid to “submit’
I am saying in essence that in a dating or courtship situation, you are to absolutely follow God and not man!
If whatever your fiancé wants done is as unto the Lord, there wouldn’t be any problem there. You should gladly submit, even if you are not married yet.
But when it clearly violates your conscience, makes you feel guilty, makes you cry and dissipates God’s anointing in your life, you are to leave that guy alone before he wrecks your destiny.
Now, let’s see some examples here.
He asks you to send your nude pictures or else he would end the relationship. Something is not quite right.
There is some level of perversion that is being shown there. There is some traits of a compromised heart coming up there.
In this case, let your “No’ be emphatic and clear. If he walks away because of that, let him walk, he is not your husband.
If you do it and listen to him, this is not submission in any way, it is more of foolishness. If he is asking for nude before marriage, what will he ask for if he ever gets to marry you?
If you go ahead and do it in a bid to keep him, it shows your own depth of devotion to God. it shows that somewhere in your heart, you don’t really trust God.
If you do, you will never do anything that displeases God in other to please your boo. If you do such things, you just sowed a seed into that relationship and opened the door for the devil to afflict.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Continued from yesterday. You can read Part 2 HERE
Most importantly, a blessed man or woman can cast out demons. He or she can take charge of the spiritual milieu of the house. That is what you should go for.
Not a man or woman that will drag you to a herbalist’s house in your hour of need.
You need a blessed man or woman that can speak in tongues! Not just hot legs, but hot legs plus hot heart for God. That is what you need.
What is the purpose of marrying a beautiful lady with an empty head?
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head. – Proverbs 11:22 (MSG)
Hey, ladies, KHC daughters, listen to me, you need a man that can intreat the Lord for you!
Further down in the chapter we are studying, that was what Isaac did for his wife!
And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived. – Genesis 25:21 (KJV)
Message Translation says Isaac prayed hard. You need a man/woman that can pray hard when you are down!
Two weeks before I got married, my wife collapsed and was hospitalized. It was an attack. My in laws did not know what to do. She was on drip for three days and had not opened her eyes.
When they told me over the qphone (those old NITEL boxes), I traveled to Abeokuta where she was, and discharged her. I put a stop to the attacks and asked that the life of God flow int her. She opened her eyes, sat up and asked for food. Even the doctor was amazed at the power of God.
That did not happen because I was a Pastor, it happened because I could intreat the Lord. That is part of the blessing!
I will have to stop here this morning.
May heaven assist you to find that blessed special man or woman!
Put your hands on your head, go ahead and speak in tongues a little.
I call your relationship blessed. I call your courtship blessed. I call your marriage blessed. I call your family blessed. I call your home blessed. I call your children blessed.
Now, I pray for you, by the unction on me this morning as I write, everything that looks like a curse, everything that is a departure from God’s promises over you and yours, is removed in Jesus name!
I have been commanded to bless, so with God’s authority over my life and ministry, this morning, I call you blessed!
Go out today declaring that you are blessed and see what the Lord will do today and in the next seven days!
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I am blessed so I attract the blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive the gift of a blessed man
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
