SINGLES – How To Be Sure Of Your Choice In Marriage
Being directed or led by God is the most important issue before marriage; when you are not led, it only leads to misery, pains, sorrow, and regrets.
My prayer is that you will not experience these. If your answer to that prayer is amen, now is the time to be sure that the person you are in love with is God’s choice for you.
Just because you are in love with someone does not give you enough basis to enter into a lifetime covenant with the person. It’s very easy to fall in love, all it takes is that person having all the qualities you admire, being physically attractive, spending time together, giving him/her a special place in your heart, thinking about him/her a lot and you’re already in love.
You’ll agree with me that it’s possible to fall in love with more than one person but only one person is qualified to be your wife/husband.
Once you have identified your spouse, you are no longer permitted to desire others, but to only admire them.
GOD then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man. The Man said, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. –Genesis 2:22-24 (MSG)
The above scripture shows that God himself was very much involved in bringing the man and the woman together.
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. –Romans 8:14 (KJV)
The question is, do you have God’s spirit? Are you born again? If yes, how are you working on your relationship with God? How consistently do you study God’s word?
What service do you render in a local assembly? How well you answer these questions will determine how well your spirit is developed to receive directions from God, not only in matters of your relationships but in all areas.
You must also make sure that the three aspects of you agree with the choice of your life partner.
Man is essentially a spirit; you have a soul and live in a body. Do these three (spirit, soul, and body) agree in perfect harmony.
Is there peace? Is he/she intelligent and emotionally mature?
Are you friends? Someone said friendship in marriage is about one soul living in two bodies.
Physically, does he/she meet your standard of beauty? Are you attractive to each other?
Go to any length to find adequate answers to these questions. Ask him/her a lot of questions. Find out where he/she is going. Can you fit in?
Is the guy a good leader? How well has he led himself? Can he lead you well?
Becoming sure is all about erasing every doubt or question in your heart about the person, the relationship, and the future. No one can be sure for you. Until you’re totally sure and convinced, don’t say YES!
Don’t tie the nuptial knots until all the knotty issues are resolved. I pray that God will send help your way in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have direction from God. In my relationship decisions, I am being led by the Spirit of God. I am not confused in Jesus Name. I will not fall in love with the wrong person. The Spirit of God will help me to be sure.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy every spirit of distraction and deception in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Take me by the hand; Lead me down the path of truth. You are my Savior, aren’t you? Psalms 25:5 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Think deeply about your relationships and take an inventory
Thank God I am not God! If I were God, probably a lot of folks would have met me up there – “Today, thou shall meet me in Paradise!” And really, thank God you are not God too! Oh my, my…It would have been serious. God is just, truthful, and full of righteousness. His thoughts are different from ours.
If I were God, sincerely, some of the portions of the Bible would not be there. I will not include the adulterous fling and murder committed by our beloved King David; neither will I include the visits to prostitutes of our Macho Man, Samson.
But God in His unfathomable wisdom knew it is the truth that will set us free. A lot of people would not have been set free from suicidal guilt over what they have done, but upon learning that God gave David and Samson a second chance, they realized that there was still hope for them.
But what was the genesis of their problems? You wouldn’t believe one of the things I found out here!
Their eyes! This becomes more interesting when you put in mind that men are moved by sight, one of The Doorway To Your Thoughts. Check out the following scriptures:
And it came to pass in an evening tide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he SAW a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. –2Samuel 11:2 (KJV)
What of Samson?
And Samson went down to Timnath, and SAW a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. –Judges 14:1 (KJV)
Then went Samson to Gaza, and SAW there a harlot, and went in unto her. –Judges 16:1 (KJV)
What really made Amnon rape her sister, Tamar?
So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in HIS SIGHT
…he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. –2Samuel 13:8,14 (KJV)
From all these, there are two things.
1. Men, watch what you see
2. Ladies, watch what is seen.
How are the guys supposed to achieve this? Never look again? Well, you are permitted to admire, but not desire. There is a difference between a first glance and then a serious look!
There is a difference between looking and getting obsessed with what you see in your thoughts.
No wonder Job said:
I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid? –Job 31:1 (KJV)
Another translation says:
I promised myself never to stare with desire at a young woman. –Job 31:1 (CEV)
So what are we supposed to do with our eyes?
My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. –Proverbs 4:20-21 (KJV)
No wonder Jesus Christ said:
The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. –Matthew 6:22 (KJV)
Pornography begins with what you see one day. The seed of fornication is planted when you see what stirs lust.
The sin of masturbation is achieved with what you have seen and stored up in your mind.
I guess this is why God said the book of the Law shall not depart from your eyes. When you keep looking at God’s word, you will not be seeing wrong things! The Doorway To Your Thoughts
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes are riveted on God’s word. I love God’s word. I am not obsessed with lust as a result of what I see. I have the mind of Christ. My utmost desire will be towards my husband/wife and not towards any other.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every spirit of lust in my life in Jesus Name, I receive help from the Holy Spirit to understand His Word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I promised myself never to stare with desire at a young woman. (Job 31:1 CEV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide never to stare at seductively dressed ladies. Decide not to see films and movies that have nude scenes.
Yesterday, I established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to worth his threefold agenda in marriages. This is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immured to the strategies and attacks of the enemy.
He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snuff out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
It is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God, get rid of hurts, and make sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder. There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim of the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle it include:
1. Vengeance or Retaliation
This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart
We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt
We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or events that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degrees of hurt. But whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our hearts and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our hearts against hurts is by taking communion. Try it, it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also, take authority over the hurt, and exercise authority over words that cause hurt.
Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there is an exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with, you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness to defile you.
Let your heart be void of offense, bitterness, or hurt; against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
SINGLES- How Do I Know If Someone Really Loves Me?
How to know if he/she really loves.
All Amnon wanted was to satisfy that rush of adrenalin. He went so far, as to think he was in love, but once his lust was pacified, love vanished into thin air.
Love is willing to wait, lust demands immediate satisfaction. Never forget that. True love will not insist that you compromise your virtue. True love will protect. True love will honour. True love will respect.
So what more is true love?
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Amnon feigned sickness and deceived his father!
True love will not pretend, deceive or trap you. He was never interested in the food. Amnon refused to consider the consequences.
True love is not stupid. True love stands to reason in respect to God’s standard Amnon’s love for Tamar was not natural. It was incest.
True love will not enter into perversion to prove itself; Amnon forced Tamar and raped her, despite that Tamar called him ‘brother’
True love will protect, it will not violate your sanctity. Amnon hated Tamar afterward.
True love is not fickle, instant, or temporal, it is enduring and lasting. True love does not go back and forth. It is stable. Even when tried, it still stands strong.
I pray for you today, that God will guide you, lead and help you to differentiate between true love and lust. You will not miss it in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God loves me. I will comprehend what true love is and operate in its boundaries. I am not confused. I have a sound mind. I receive God’s kind of love
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I break off from all emotional bondage. Spirit of God, lead me and guide me in my relationship, I resist every spirit of confusion and manipulations.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. –Proverbs 15:17 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Adjust your attitudes and start relating with the one who truely loves
What exactly is true love? How do I know if a man truly loves me? How do I know if a lady truly loves me?
While putting in mind that there are so many definitions and perceptions of what true love is, it is pertinent to remind ourselves that true love can only be defined by Scriptural standards. Why is this so? God is love.
True love can only come from anyone that really knows God. A man that doesn’t know God is incapable of showing true love. He may be caring and nice by your own standards, but as long as He doesn’t know God, he doesn’t understand the dynamics of true love.
That is why we will be going back into the Bible to see the true definition of love.
And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. –2Samuel 13:1-2 (KJV)
In our devotion this morning, the story of Amnon comes to mind. Verse one of the above scripture tells us that Amnon was in love with his sister.
Verse two tells us that she was so vexed with love that he fell sick. It was no longer a soul’s battle; it became rottenness in his bones.
From the above, one will naturally conclude that this is genuine love. What do you think? Was the love genuine?
For him to fall sick, he must really be in love! Isn’t that how some men come around you and truthfully tell you that they can’t eat again, sleep again because of love? Can we conclude about a man’s love for a woman by virtue of his being “vexed” to the point of sickness?
Look at a few translations:
Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her…–2Samuel 13:2 (MSG)
Can obsession equal true love?
And Amnon was so troubled that he fell sick…–2Samuel 13:2 (AMP)
Can being troubled equal true love?
And he was so deeply in love that he became ill… –2Samuel 13:2 (BBE)
Can being deeply in love equal true love?
Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar. –2Samuel 13:2 (NIV)
Can being frustrated equal true love?
Well, before we conclude, let’s see what happened a few verses away.
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. –2Samuel 13:2 (KJV)
Here is the Message translation:
But he wouldn’t listen. Being much stronger than she, he raped her. –2Samuel 13:2 (MSG)
This couldn’t be true love! How would you rape someone you profess to love? Something is not quite right there. Sometimes all he wants is sex. That is not love! Sometimes, all she wants is your money. That is not true love!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God loves me. I will comprehend what true love is and operate within its boundaries. I am not confused. I have a sound mind. I receive God’s kind of love
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I break off from all emotional bondage. Spirit of God, lead me and guide me in my relationship, I resist every spirit of confusion and manipulations.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. –Proverbs 15:17 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Adjust your attitudes and start relating with the one who truly loves
