We started on the topic of keeping love alive in our marriages in yesterday’s devotional. Let’s delve in the remaining things we need to keep love alive.
2. Don’t Compare
The grass always seem greener at the other side. Never fall for the comparison trap.
Don’t compare other couples or marriages with your own.
Yes, you can learn from them but never compare.
The truth is you never know that other husband or wife.
Every good marriage you admire sacrificed on their path to get to where they are now.
So rather than compare and blame your spouse for not being like husband A, work on your own marriage, pay your own price and make your own sacrifices.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Don’t withdraw
The withdrawal syndrome is one thing that destroys a marriage fast.
It’s a temporary shield you build around yourself to avoid confronting and dealing with issues.
Don’t withdraw into work, yourself, your passion, activity, church project, children, porn, friends, outings or keeping late nights.
When you hide in withdrawal, you have simply created a vacuum for the devil to fill in your home.
You need to understand each other’s temperament and know how to lovingly respect each other’s differences.
Extroverts and introverts are very different and handle issues differently.
Give each other space. Allow your spouse grow without nagging them.
Be patient with your demands. Don’t expect your wife to change over night. Let the fruit of the spirit grow and manifest in your life.
Allow your marriage to grow. Let it blossom.
If you are presently experiencing a not too pleasant moment in your marriage, let grace flow towards you now, releasing peace, strength and courage to you.
I pray for you, may God’s love and a fresh love for your spouse be shed abroad in your heart now in Jesus name.
It’s beautiful seeing newly wedded couples. The love spark is amazing.
There is a love wave, love current and all the love vibes around them. They set out professing their eternal love for each other.
They are deeply in love and could never imagine hurting each other not to talk of harming themselves whether emotionally or verbally.
The question is what happened? At what point did they start to deviate from the love zone?
Really, no husband or wife starts out over night from being loving to being rash, unkind, abusive and insensitive.
There must have been little actions or in-actions here and there, that crept into their love affair.
The Bible talks about little foxes that destroy the vine, the tender vine.
Our marriages are like these vines that are very tender. Little foxes are like poisons slowly released that will eventually destroy the marriage. We therefore, need to place close attention so that we don’t allow these foxes.
Here are three things not to do if you want to keep love alive in marriage.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
1 Don’t blame
‘It’s his fault’ ‘She very disrespectful’ ‘He’s not kind and loving’ She’s lazy and overly sensitive’ ‘He’s always hurting’
Stop the blame game. You have a choice, either you keep blaming and remain hurt, bitter and full of regret and revengeful.
When you keep on blaming the other person you focus on their negatives.
You become blind to their positive sides and you put him/ her on edge.
Remember, when you were in love, it was because you were blind to their negatives and only focused on how good, handsome & lovely they were.
Do the same now. Blaming your spouse continuously is poisonous.
I am not asking you to keep completely silent on your spouse’s weakness but rather confront each other respectfully and lovingly.
Remember you have your own faults too. Forgiveness and mercy is reciprocal in marriage.
Gifts are one of the love languages as postulated by Gary Chapman.
Below are a few of my thoughts concerning this topic.
1. Don’t Manipulate Your Spouse Into Gifts Buying
As married couples, the idea is not to disconnect or quarrel with your spouse if he or she is not speaking your language.
You can lovingly discuss with your spouse what makes you happy. You can also reach out and buy him or her gifts and then your spouse does the same in return.
2. Intertwined
As married couples, acts of service and gifts are intertwined. This is because you can give your time, encouragement, empathy, show your love to her in the kitchen and give her some of your time, watch a football match with him when you will rather be having a nap.
But there are people who associate gifts as a love language to have a lot of money.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Eat your cake and have it?
Some single ladies have different guys for different purposes. Some to buy them phones and tabs, some to pay their rent, some to load their phones, some to buy them air tickets, some to load them with cash… well, this is not about love language, it is more of trying to eat your cake and have it.
If this idea and way of living is brought into the marriage, there will be a lot of issues.
It is more of greed and covetousness. It is more of being caught in the web of the deceitfulness of riches. It is not consistent with God’s principles and this will rather slow you down in your journey to a good marriage.
4. Conclusion
In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries.
Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone.
Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking.
This is a woman at the top echelon of her career, so she can often become prideful if care is not taken.
The husband should be secure enough to let his wife go for the best and ultimate in her career.
There are husbands who can be so threatened with the progress of their wives. This is a wrong heart. Let her be, and let her go for the best.
The keyword here is honor. As long as the wife does not get proud.
2. The Stubborn Wife Who Will Not Budge
Some wives can be stubborn o! From counseling experiences, I have seen wives that would stand on their opinion even when you show them the scriptures. There are stubborn men as well o!
How do you know a stubborn wife?
Stubborn wives don’t talk much, they just won’t budge. They will just be looking at you like Lucozade, but what they will do is what they will do.
This is not good as well. It is not beneficial for the prayer life of the couple.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. The Manipulative Wife Who Is Dextrous
The manipulative wife has several weapons in her arsenal including crying, throwing tantrums, withdrawing, talking endlessly, refusing sex, nagging, until she gets what she wants.
She always wants the man at her beck and call.
This may go on for a while especially if the husband is on the calm side, but one day, he would definitely react.
4. The Insistent Wife Who Is Not Meek
The insistent wife is hard, difficult, and doesn’t listen to anything apart from what she knows or wants. Her major weapon is anger.
She always wants to be told what she wants to hear and she picks up a quarrel with anybody that dares go against what she feels.
Her husband lives in perpetual fear of what could happen next.
This is a wrong attitude that could be detrimental to the marriage. The problem is that what she knows is limited and what she wants can often be a wrong desire.
We are all work in progress and nobody knows it all. Meekness or being teachable is a great virtue in marriage.
Husband and wife should strive to live considerably with one another. Put yourselves in one another’s shoes. This is where maturity is.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a good woman to my husband.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, take away from me every iota of pride.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Prov 31:11 [NLT]Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY What kind of wife are you? Make amends where necessary
Sade and Tony have been engaged for only three months. But in the short time they were together, they could not remember as many times as they have had premarital sex. They practically used it to greet each other anytime they get to see.
But when they quarreled after three months, they parted their ways and went differently.
Somehow, they kept thinking of each other. They had moved on differently and each of them even have new relationships but they kept on thinking of each other.
What happened to them?
The reality is that they have what is called “soul tie!”
This is what sex does! How does this happen?
In marriage, sex brings a bonding between the couple, because that is one of the purposes of sex. It cements the couple and joins them together at the highest possible level. Their souls become knitted together. They become one. They are glued together, and God says nobody should put them asunder.
But outside marriage, there is also a bonding. It is just that it is another kind of bonding. It is an illegal bonding that gives access to the operation of demonic entities in one’s life. It is called soul ties.
This is what the scripture is talking about here:
“Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.”
(1Co 6:15-16, KJV)
Can you see that?
In sex before marriage, the two people also illegally become one body! They are not married, but there is an illegal bonding that gives access to legal operations of demonic activities because of disobedience.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
Message Translation puts it this way:
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.””
(1Co 6:16, MSG)
So we see that this is spiritual. As a matter of fact, when you get involved in sex with someone, you are actually having sex with everybody that person has had sex with! It is not uncommon to see a person suddenly stealing after being intimate with someone that steals!
There is nothing like casual sex. Nothing is casual about it, it is spiritual. There is nothing like one night stand. One night stand can lead to an eternity of woes and damnation.
There is nothing like a quickie outside marriage. One quickie and one’s destiny can be quickly set back by five years or more! This is just the reality!
You see, you need to understand that as a child of God, the devil is trying to trip you. And a lot of people have been tripped. Yes, you can ask for forgiveness, and God will forgive you and cleanse you but when you keep getting careless and you make this a habitual lifestyle, then you are cooperating with the devil for your destruction. It is as truthful as that.
So, what do you do?
I will conclude tomorrow. Don’t miss it.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am free because whosoever the son of man shall set free is free indeed!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I destroy and severe every form of soul ties in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh. But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him.” (1Co 6:16-17, AMP)
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