This happens a lot and I get to hear this from time to time.
Pastor, I don’t have feelings for him again.
Pastor, I don’t have feelings for her again.
I will tell you five things quickly that will put things in perspective and help you judge your loss of “feelings” whether they are genuine or just some ruse.
1. Feelings are different from conviction
A feeling is the voice of your flesh. It is an emotional state. A conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.
So, when it comes to relationship and falling in love, as a child of God, you need to ask, is it just feelings I have for this person or do I have a “leading” from God?
They are two different things entirely.
2. Feelings are fickle
Feelings are not bad in themselves, it is just that you should not trust them.
They are fickle, and they don’t have a forever a status.
You can wake up with seven different feelings for a supposed loved one in seven different days.
They are also temporal and they often don’t last. Feelings come and go!
Feelings are not deep. They are surface surfers. Feelings cannot endure. Feelings are like fair weather friends.
3. You will not always have feelings for him or her
The next thing you need to realize is that you will not always have feelings for him or her.
So, in effect, feelings cannot be a standard for measuring your love!
Even in marriage, there are times you wake up to see your spouse and all the feelings have gone on holiday to Bahamas or some Island of no communication!
What do you do? Are you going to file for divorce?
You see, beyond your feelings, there must be a genuine commitment arising from a conviction towards the person you want to get married to!
So, you cannot afford to be led by what you “feel” alone.
Feelings are too weak to sustain you in the midst of love adventure. Feelings will abandon you at the slightest pressure.
It is only conviction that can travel the whole length with you, in cold or summer!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by the spirit of God. My feelings do not control me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the rightful person for me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
Celebration is the source of life and joy. Keep Celebrating. If you want to experience constant life and joy in marriage, learn to celebrate. Let there be a constant feast in your marriage.
By feast, I don’t mean a party. It is more of the condition of the heart than it is a physical thing.
All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast. – Pro 15:15
All forms of moodiness and gloominess are not meant to be allowed in your home. You have to learn to disallow certain things in your home and family. You allow joy and happiness.
Celebration is something you practice consciously. You make it a habit in your family. There are a lot of opportunities to celebrate that God brings our way. We should seize these opportunities.
Celebration puts us in faith. Abraham celebrated God by giving glory to God even when the covenant child was not even born. His celebration kept his faith alive.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
When you learn to celebrate, you acknowledge God as the source of your very life. You recognize God as the Lord over your marriage.
There are several opportunities in which we have to be sensitive to celebrate. Some people in a bid to appear humble say to celebrate is not to be sober like the Bible says. But the same bible says we should rejoice and again it says we should rejoice.
To celebrate is to be thankful and grateful. Celebrate every of your birthday. Celebrate the life and the lives of all those around you. Be grateful to God for victory and sparing your life. Many have been laid aside, so be grateful and celebrate life.
Celebrate your children. Celebrate your husband. Celebrate events. Create memorials. Celebrate the beginning of the term for your children. Celebrate the end of term. Celebrate anniversaries, Christmas, holidays. Look into each and find out what to celebrate.
Make things special. Make every dinner and lunch a memorable one. Let your spouse and children have sweet memories. Celebrate your pastors, your boss. Celebrate your parents, your siblings, celebrate everything and anything.
As you celebrate, you will have more reasons to celebrate.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to celebrate at every opportunity I get.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love my husband/wife well
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25 [KJV]Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Husbands should endeavor to pray for their wives daily. This may sound religious but I have found it to work. Apart from the fact that it draws the husband to God, making him take his rightful place as the priest, it takes the pressure off the wife also.
Everybody now looks up to God who is able to transform our marriage and make us better people. The focus shifts to God. The husband sees God as the One who will answer his prayers and he’s patiently waiting on God.
It also affords the husband to pray for those virtues he likes to see in his wife. Praying together brings God into the scene where He becomes a partner with us. He sees to it that there are changes and our marriages become better.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. – Eph 5:25 – 28
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
The husbands should be responsible in the transformation process of their wives. They should be committed to seeing their wives transformed to what they want them to be.
So dear wives, a little trick that works is to always ask your husband to lay his hands on you and pray for you. It gives your husband a feeling of your being submissive to him and a willingness to want to please him. It will also reduce quarrels. You can’t be fighting and your husband praying for you.
Note that the devil will try and fight this. He hates this kind of unity and agreement because of the power it generates. Even when there is a fight, make sure you apologize and ask your husband to pray for you.
For example, if your husband is always complaining that you are slow, let him begin to talk to God about it. So he prays for you that God should make you faster or quicker in doing your things.
Two things will likely happen. It is either he begins to see himself as complaining and begins to see the good side of your being slow, or he accept you that way and work on being more patient. If he still complains, you tell him, Senior, we have prayed about it.
In this way, the wife takes the pressure of performance off her and allows the process of change to take its course. You could use this method to kick start praying together for those who don’t pray together at all.
May God give us victory, Amen!
God bless our homes and marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I cooperate with my spouse to have an award winning marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to love my husband/wife well
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:25 [KJV]Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Has your husband ever told you that you are not talking to him well? It is either he says you speak in a disrespectful manner or you are not just logical.
My own husband used to tell me that often. I used to wonder how best to speak to him. My own husband is very, very intelligent, coupled with the fact that he is a strong choleric. You really have to make a lot of sense to get his attention.
To prove a point is a very bad move because it will not just work. So I quit trying to make a point.
I discovered a secret that has helped me and I believe will help every woman out there. I am not talking about remote controlling your husband to do as you say, but to have regards for what you say.
Your husband will respect what you say more when your words are weighty and carry power. You know in the world, the wives do charms so that their husbands can listen to them. But we believers have the real thing.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
I am not talking about native intelligence or academic prowess. I am talking about possessing the spirit of wisdom and understanding that comes from God.
And they were not able to resist the wisdom and the spirit by which he spake. – Acts 6:10
See it in the Amplified version
But they were not able to resist the intelligence and the wisdom and [the inspiration of] the Spirit with which and by Whom he spoke. – Acts 6:10
It is possible to possess such intelligence and wisdom that your husband will not be able to refuse you, shut you up, or won’t listen to you.
You don’t have to be manipulative with your words, no auto planning, no rehearsals before speaking.
The fact has been established that you can speak with intelligence. But how can one come to the point where you have such a spirit?
You cannot learn it from school or from your parents or mother. What was the secret of Stephen? He was full of the Holy faith and the Holy Ghost as recorded in Acts 6:6
Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. So Stephen was a man dedicated to the study of the word of God and prayers.
When you give yourself to the study of the word of God and you become controlled by the Holy Spirit, you will possess an intelligence that will be beyond your age.
You will speak with much grace and power. You will not be forceful or manipulative but your words will be gracious. The Holy Spirit will give you insight and foresight.
You will advise your husband and your advice will turn out the best decision. By the next time, he will seek counsel from you. He will disregard your words and treat your words with levity. He will come to respect you and honor you because of your intelligent words.
This is what my mentor possesses and that is what I am getting. I am giving myself to the study of the word and to prayers.
I have made up my mind to go for wisdom in words and in deed, so that I will become relevant and impact my generation. You too can take on the journey of being full of faith and the spirit of God.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom and the spirit.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for the spirit of wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Acts 6:10 [KJV]And they were not able to resist the wisdom and the spirit by which he spake.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take out time to pray in the spirit
Yesterday, I started writing on things that are popular and prevalent but not necessarily of God.
2. He has to be ‘mobile’ (He‘s got to have a car!)
Well, this is good! Who doesn’t want the best of things and who wants to ‘suffer’ first? If your fiancée has a good car before marriage, great! You are blessed!
But to make this a criterion will be a great error. The important thing is to find out God’s plan for your life. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil!
Are you marrying the car or the guy? What if something happens to the car? There are seemingly rich guys today who are on their way to being massively broke. But there are also guys who are seemingly broke today but are on their way to being unrepentantly rich!
As a lady, you need to follow your heart and you have to be able to “perceive!”
3. We have to be compatible in bed
You just want to satisfy your lust, simple! How do you measure this compatibility in bed? What would he or she do that will give a pass mark?
And if he or she is not compatible according to your judgment, what happens? Look for the next available person and jump in bed to measure compatibility? Compatibility in bed is a figment of the imagination, and that is why you keep measuring after the first “measurement”
It is high time we stop that deception. It is high times ladies woke up and stop being easily deceived.
If the lady was good in bed, you’ll say she is too exposed; she has slept with too many people. If she is naïve in bed, you’ll say she is Mummy’s girl! So, exactly what are you up to?
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will follow God all the way. I choose to do it in God’s way.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you stay true till the end
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 KJV
