Spend time together. Never allow jobs, people, or any other thing to take this away from you. Learn to pray together every morning. This morning, I held my spouse in my arms, and we prayed together before I got up from the bed. You are able to maximize your time when you put God first place in your marriage.
2. Transition
Transition is defined in three ways:
a. the act of passing from one state or place to the next
b. an event that results in transformation
c. a change from one place or state or subject or stage to another
There will be transition times in your lives, when either spouse travels away for some time or when you get to a new place. Be careful with developing emotional affairs simply because your spouse is not around.
This can easily lead to adulterous relationships and this can further lead to separation and divorce since God’s injunctions that protect you have been violated. If you are already in one, it is not too late to stop it and ask God to help you!
3. Unequal yoke
Be wary of developing associations with friends who don’t know God or colleagues who don’t value the things of God. They can sow the wrong seed of words into your marriage and before you know it, you are already following their advice which is contrary to the ways of God.
Never discuss your spouse or family issues with colleagues. It can trap you and push you to the edge of confusion. I pray for you this morning that God will frustrate every counsel of Ahitofel in Jesus name!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things; -Proverbs 2:10-12 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
What other signs are there to show that you are ready for marriage? Read on to find out.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
3. You are responsible and committed.
Signs of perpetual irresponsibility show that you are not ready for marriage.
Are people always referring to you as irresponsible?
Are people always “concerned” about your habits and dispositions?
Yes, while men may be wrong at most times in their judgments, you should not ignore multiple corrections of the same thing by different people.
By the time your parents, siblings, school teacher, lecturer, Pastor, and lover complain about the same thing, then you need to pay some attention to that thing.
You see, your weaknesses can be oblivious to you and yet obnoxious in the least.
God will often use people around you while single, to expose some of the weaknesses you cannot even notice.
You can be so anointed and yet blind to the dangerous dispositions which are counter-productive for marriage. This is why the scripture says:
Who is blind, but my servant? or deaf, as my messenger that I sent? who is blind as he that is perfect, and blind as the LORD’S servant? – Isaiah 42:19 (KJV)
You can be a good praying Christian with good intentions and yet marriage becomes a mess.
This is because your good intentions are not enough, your commitment, resolution, and responsibility are required.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am improving and getting better
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me areas of my life I need to work on in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (AMPC) Who is blind but My servant [Israel]? Or deaf like My messenger whom I send? Who is blind like the one who is at peace with Me [who has been admitted to covenant relationship with Me]? Yes, who is blind like the Lord’s servant?
I have been married for over 20 years and I can categorically tell you, love is not blind at all.
Love is a serious business, that you engage in with all your five senses intact and even the sixth one.
Sometimes ago, I was revisiting the marriage vows taken from a wedding I attended. I thought to myself, most people taking these vows don’t understand half of what they are saying. Then I felt like the wedding day sermon should be spent on explaining a little about the vows.
Many couples spend most of their time together praying. Is it that prayers or praying together is not good? Absolutely, it is 100% good.
Many other couples spend most of their time talking. Is it that talking is not good, (depending on what they are talking about). Absolutely, good.
Marriage is both spiritual and physical, so we have to take care of the spiritual aspect as well as the physical aspect. Talking to God will handle the spiritual aspect while talking together about issues will handle the physical aspect.
We cannot enjoy the marriage and maximize our full marital potential by engaging in one at the expense of another. We have to pray as though our marriage depended on our prayers and we also have to talk as though our marriage depended on it.
When I mean talk, I mean talk to yourselves, not about something or someone. All most couples do is talk about events, news, something or someone, they hardly talk about themselves. They simply gossip and that is all they do.
Most of your time together must be spent on talking about yourselves, leave the remaining to talk about other events or issues.
Love is no longer blind. Some of us had loose ends before marriage that has left us as prey to the enemy. We should not be afraid to talk and trash out issues after all, we get to know ourselves by asking and answering questions.
There has to be a balance between praying and talking. No matter how long you have been married, we should go back to asking ourselves pertinent questions, and write our discussions down. At least God wrote down His thoughts.
These serves as our projections, our values, our commitment. We get to know and understand each other’s expectations.
One of the major causes of problems in marriage is unmet expectations. We have expectations our spouse didn’t even know anything about. They are not aware of those expectations not to talk of meeting them.
Talk, ask questions. What are your expectations in marriage? What do you want from me? Were you in cult when you were in school? What is your vision in life? What do we do to avoid divorce? What do we do to have a blissful marriage? What can I do that you will never forgive me? And so many questions.
Keep asking questions and talking all through your marriage. Your words together coupled with your prayers are knitting your hearts together until the Twain became one flesh, and nothing will be able to put you asunder.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes of understanding are open.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
Below are signs to know whether you are ready for marriage or not.
1. You are not lonely.
If you are lonely, you are not ready for marriage. Adam was alone, not lonely. Loneliness and alone-ness are miles apart.
Marriage is never intended to cure loneliness, rather it is to complement you and provide companionship.
If you study the word, “helper’ you will understand what I am saying here.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. – Genesis 2:18 (KJV)
The Amplified Bible calls it helper and then goes further to expatiate that word.
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. – Genesis 2:18 (AMPC)
2. You are not looking for a house-help.
A lady is to be a helper and not a house-help. The roles are defined. They are not the same.
She can help out do laundry depending on your arrangement, but she is not a dry-cleaner or a washing machine.
She is not coming to work her hands off while the husband sits back and watch news and football.
This even becomes important these days when there are a lot of career women.
If the young couple don’t have house-helps or any body helping out, then they need to both face the work and not leave it for one party.
This does not undermine the hard work and industriousness of the wife as this is exemplified in the virtuous woman, but it also doesn’t make the husband redundant in house as well.
There should be “division of labour” in love!
And this is why ladies should not go and spend weekends with a boyfriend all in the bid of securing a wedding. It doesn’t work that way.
You will end up having plenty of jeru trip and less of meaningful discussions to advance your marital plans.
Time that should be spent in knowing each other and probing character defects are spent locked up in each other’s embrace, in passionate sex, and this is why there are problems after wedding.
You never got to know that person with you on the bed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God will help me.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 42:19 (MSG) You’re my servant, and you’re not looking! You’re my messenger, and you’re not listening! The very people I depended upon, servants of GOD, blind as a bat—willfully blind!
Women get easily hurt. And the husbands may not even be aware that they are hurt because their needs are miles apart.
Those are the times a husband asks his wife, “what is wrong?” She simply answers “Nothing!”
She says nothing because she doesn’t feel good explaining that something so little gets her upset.
Or she knows if she tries to explain, the husband might end up making her look like an idiot. So she keeps quiet.
What are examples of those little things that could upset your wife?
1. Don’t do things that make her uncomfortable sexually. Don’t embarrass her and don’t compare her with some past escapades.
2. Don’t ignore her when it comes to making important of financial decisions. Don’t leave her in the dark, keeping her guessing all the time.
3. Don’t compare her with others especially when it has to do with her appearance, weight or hairdo. Don’t go out of your way to appreciate and dote on other women while you completely ignore her.
4. Don’t do things that you have disallowed her from doing, making her feel like a little child who cannot think for herself.
5. Don’t ignore her when she is emotionally down or physically tired. Don’t say things like, “I am tired of you. When you get out of your nasty moods, let me know!”
6. Don’t hug and embrace other ladies endlessly while you don’t even hold her hands in public. Go out of your way and offer some PDA! Public Display of Affection!
7. Don’t leave her alone to do all the house chores while still expecting her to be an amazon in bed later in the night. That would be insensitive.
8. Don’t watch football all day and all night while refusing to let her watch her favorite programs. Don’t make her look like an idiot for her preference of programs. Join her to watch sometimes, and encourage her to join you as well.
9. Don’t forget or deliberately ignore her special days like birthdays and other anniversaries. Rather go out of your way to set notifications so that you can surprise her on those special days.
May God grant more understanding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am good spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bless our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 (KJV) Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
