One of the ways God has planned that Couples get closer to each other is through the act of sex. It is God’s design. However, God wanted it to be an act within the matrimonial sanctity.
It is so powerful that God said when either couple wants to abstain from it for a while, to fast, for example, permission must be taken from the other spouse.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. -1Corinthians 7:5 (KJV)
The Bible strongly advises that couples must seek each other’s desires. This is an area where wives must be extremely careful. Never deprive your husband sexually. If you do that, you can get him into troubles with secretaries, house-helps, and any other thing in a skirt. You may not understand this fully until you discover how his body is wired.
This is not a justification for marital infidelity, however. The Bible acknowledges that sexual desires are strong, but that marriage is powerful enough to contain it.
The Holy Spirit advised through Paul that you must not deprive your spouse sexually. In fact, the Bible calls it fraud when you do so.
Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly, but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality–the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting–but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. -1Corinthians 7:1-5 (MSG)
Why is God particular about sex? The reason is obvious. It creates bonding between spouses. It is God’s way of rekindling the fire in marriage.
During an act of sex, what takes place is more than physical. While non-religious writers may debunk the reality of its spiritual consequences, they are apt to accept the fact that something more than physical takes place during the act.
Within marriage, it affirms the dignity and uniqueness of the couple, strengthens the marital bond, and brings a healthy pleasure.
You will make it. You will not fall by the wayside. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. You will not become a victim of a sexualized society. God will keep you from falling. I see God sending that help you need right now to you as you call on Him! It is a new day for you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not deprive my spouse of my duty and his or her right. I am not angry or bitter toward my spouse. My spirit is not closed towards my spouse. I love _________(mention name of spouse) dearly. He/She is the love of my life. I am not self-seeking, I honour my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to make necessary changes in this area of my life. Grant me Lord, a quick forgiving spirit.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. -Hebrews 13:4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Sex can be spontaneous or strategic, be available for both.
Yesterday we looked at how important it is for wives everywhere to praise their husbands. We looked at how a little girl danced in honor of king Herod and praised him. He was willing to part with half of his kingdom. When women praise amazing things happen.
Today, we will be looking at ‘Husbands Appreciate your wives’.
To appreciate means to recognize the good qualities of something or someone. Husbands, your wives are your helper; they are created for you and for your good.
The fuel that keeps wives going and functioning in their calling as helpers, is appreciating their efforts and labour of love.
Any husband that doesn’t appreciate his wife is stifling the potential of his wife.
Appreciation comes with a sense of thoughtfulness that allows for gratitude. You become grateful for the little gestures and the big things your wife does.
Every wife is moved to do more or motivated by words. For example, if your wife cooks a meal and you appreciate her, she will remember the appreciation and will want to do better the next time she is cooking. If she is not appreciated, however, the creativity to do more or do better is not there.
If the love language of your wife is words of affirmation, you have to give her big doses of appreciation. Appreciate your wife for her looks, appreciate her for her dress sense, appreciate her being a home keeper, appreciate her for her intuition, appreciate her for her sacrifices, appreciate her for her kindness, for taking care of the children, for believing you, for encouraging you, for being there, for doing the dishes, and the list goes on and on.
One thing about appreciation like praise is that the more you give it the more you see reasons the give more appreciation.
In the same way, the less you show appreciation the less you will find reasons to show appreciation.
May God grant us grace to show more appreciation to our wives.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be more loving and tender to my wife
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a good husband, teach me how to always praise my wife
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take out time to praise your wife today
The two words Appreciate and Praise have same elements but are slightly different.
Every wife should know how to praise her husband. If you wait till your husband is perfect you will wait a long time. Besides, who says you have the right standard to judge him? You may have a thousand things against him, but look for and focus on the good things he has done.
How he has been a good father to your children, he didn’t neglect you when you were pregnant, he didn’t abuse you, he provided for you, he prayed and fast for you.
The truth of the fact is that your husband has done so much for you, that you are not even aware of. It will take eternity to discover some of the things our husbands have done for us. Just like it will be in eternity to unravel the so many things our heavenly father has done for us.
Sometimes we have misjudged their motives, yet God is the judge of all and He looks into the heart.
God our heavenly father loves praises and men are created in the image of God, so there is a part of every man that craves praises.
If every wife will look beyond the pains and hurts, and just praise her husband for what he does, I believe that praise will work wonders.
But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
That is what praise can do. We can learn this principle from this young girl, who despite who King Herod is or whatever he has done, danced with all her heart, and honored him till he felt so wonderful.
She could access what the king has by simply honoring him. She brought herself to a place of prominence by forgetting herself and praising the king first. She was rewarded for it.
Let us all as wives focus on praising our husbands. Let us be selfless. Let us not be too mindful of ourselves.
We can’t dance unless we learn to forget whatever issues, and grievances we have towards our husbands. For us to dance in a way that pleases and catch the attention of our husbands, our hearts must be free of offenses.
Have a light heart. So you can dance well. All you want is for your king to open his mouth and give you half of his kingdom, his heart, his life, his commitment, his loyalty, his attention.
The principle is to do his own first!
May God grant us the heart of humility to rid our hearts of everything that will not make our hearts light, so that we can dance for him.
God bless our marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a good wife, teach me how to always appreciate my husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the things your husband has done for you and appreciate him for it
COUPLES – How To Refuse The Devil’s Agenda In Marriage
Marriage is often time associated with wine because our union with our spouse is supposed to bring joy to us.
The marriage ceremony itself is a joyous occasion with the bride and groom looking their best. Everyone is happy, with lots of food to eat and drinks, music, dancing, and the exuberance of finding the love of your life.
All these sum up to give joy and excitement. Both for the new couples, the parents, families, the couples friends and all.
But a few years down the line, we see that joy almost vanished from the face of the once overjoyed couple. Why is this?
We may have different reasons why, but I want to point to us that the devil is the real culprit here.
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). – John 10:10 AMPC
The above scripture identifies the devil as a thief who comes to steal if not stopped, graduates to kill, and then finally to destroy, bringing to total ruins, both what you desire and what you have laboured for. He destroys the legacy of families and what they stand for.
The devil is the one that steals joy from marriages. He does this through several means and does it in whoever marriage he is allowed to perform his three-fold agenda and mission.
Every believer’s marriage is precious and priceless. The devil hates anything joyous, good, and glorious. He is attracted to it, to steal from it, kill and destroy it.
The devil is not just a nuisance, he is an enemy. That is the fact and the truth. You must always take the offensive against his onslaught.
The scripture in John 10:10 didn’t just say that the devil cometh to steal, kill and destroy. It concluded that ‘I am come that they might have or enjoy life and it more abundantly.
For every attempt of the devil to steal the joy of and in your marriage whether by misunderstanding, strife, unforgiveness, infidelity, the sin of different types, anger, works of the flesh etc. Jesus also came.
He came once and for all to deal with the 3 fold agenda of the devil. Jesus is not only the answer to the problem, He is much more than that.
It is not your wife or your husband that is hurting you or cheating on you.
Am I saying we should not take responsibility for our actions? No, I didn’t say that. We take responsibility and deal with the root cause of the issue. The devil hides under the works of the flesh or sin to carry out his 3 fold agenda.
Begin to insist on your joy, peace in marriage, prosperity, and every good thing Jesus already paid for there.
Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation.Isaiah 12:3 AMPC
Joy in your marriage is not just having good behaviour. You need your joy to draw from the well of salvation.
No wonder the devil is after your joy. Without joy, you cannot draw. You can speak in tongues, fast, and pray but you also need joy.
When the devil throws different issues at you, he is after your joy. Insist on your joy.
Respond in joy to any attack on your marriage. That joy is an overflowing joy, the joy that is full of glory.
Laugh at the face of lack. You begin to draw wealth and prosperity from the well of salvation.
Let nothing steal your joy. Be joyful with the wife of your youth.
God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage in Jesus name
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Nothing steals my joy in my home.
PRAYERS FOR TODAY Lord, strengthen me in my inner man
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation. Isaiah 12:3 AMPC
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out areas where you need God to remember you and go before Him to plead your case.
We have been considering several levels of communication in the last few days. We have looked at
1. The Hallway talker
2. Reporter’s Talk
3. Intellectual Talk
4. Emotional Talk.
This morning, we will be considering the last and highest level of Communication.
5. Loving, Genuine Truth Talk
‘Let’s Be Honest’.
This level allows us to speak the truth in love. It is a place of honesty without condemnation.
Most couples are finding out that such open, honest and loving communication enhances a much deeper level of intimacy, where couples can share their feelings and thoughts without feeling unsafe. Both have a sense of safety and security. This requires an attitude of acceptance.
You know your spouse understands you even if they don’t agree with you.
We can always agree to disagree without shaming ourselves or making us look less smart. We can have differing opinions and still be friends. No hurts, no guilt, no condemnation and we are still good to go.
We can’t be the same. Remember, acceptance is the key.
We may start out on the first level of communication, but please, don’t let us remain there.
As a couple, we should aim at moving higher in the way we relate, understand, and communicate with each other. This will require a certain level of work and being intentional about getting to understand your spouse.
The higher we grow in our level of communicating with ourselves, the more intimate we grow with our spouse.
I pray God will grant us wisdom and grace and help us all to communicate better in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing to many
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)
