Yesterday, I established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to worth his threefold agenda in marriages. This is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immured to the strategies and attacks of the enemy.
He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snuff out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
It is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God, get rid of hurts, and make sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder. There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim of the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle it include:
1. Vengeance or Retaliation
This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart
We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt
We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or events that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degrees of hurt. But whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our hearts and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our hearts against hurts is by taking communion. Try it, it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also, take authority over the hurt, and exercise authority over words that cause hurt.
Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there is an exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with, you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness to defile you.
Let your heart be void of offense, bitterness, or hurt; against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
I have often heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else, especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you make up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision it is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt.
Some people have been hurt for most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity, and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt to get at you.
Hurtful words are spoken like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you, etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. –Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse, pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies.
That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that sixty years of your life are gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let’s receive grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, and criticized, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune to hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and overall the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. –Luke 10:19 (KJV)
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and he made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. –Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one; the one who died on the cross for you.
When you come face to face with Him on judgment day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory.
He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion, etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, remind yourself and confess out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
Remember, to protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotion. Protect yourself God’s way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I declare concerning my life and marriage, I have victory, the enemy has lost the battle over my life and mind. I refuse to stay in hurt and unforgiveness, Jesus is glorified.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name of Jesus every fiery dart of the evil one is destroyed in my life and marriage in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. -Ephesians 6:16 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Forgive and let go of every hurt today
We used to hear this phrase a lot long time ago, but nowadays, we hardly hear such a thing. The world has gone digital, fast and every body seems busy.
Knowledge has made people to replace old values with modern ones. The question is does modernization makes our conclusions about marriage right?
The modern day view of marriage is contractual while the good old days view marriage in Gods eyes as a covenant.
Contractual view says, you do this, then I do that’. While covenant says, I will do this for you because I am committed to you. It doesn’t really matter what you do or don’t do’.
Marriage as a contract is always based on negotiations, convenience, and protection of self. Each spouse maintain their lanes and do what is expected. Otherwise, the marriage contact does not work and they go their separate ways which means separation or divorce.
In this case, marriage is not for a common goal. There is no fulfilling purpose or destiny together on view. There is no sense of purpose or God bringing the couples together to fulfill a mandate or an assignment.
All that is involved is ‘I am attracted to you, and you to me. We have a love connection between us and we are good to go’.
Marriage is for better, for worse. This is a little scary which brings with it a sense of awe. Two hearts and should beating as one is a mystery. That mystery can only be unraveled by the help of divinity.
Here, there is a sense of a divine assignment. Marriage is not just lived on their terms but on the terms of God, who is the covenant witness and judge in the marriage union.
Each couples live their lives following a particular road map created by the creator. That means there is a supervisory role performed by God.
The husband cannot just do whatever he likes to do, neither can the wife do whatever she likes or wishes in the marriage.
There are guiding principles, guiding both husband and wife. There is a race set before each one to run, and each one runs with passion looking to God for grace to accomplish his/her race.
Here the wife is protected as well or as much as the husband is protected too. Both husband and wife have a common father who protects their interest.
It is not based on human standards that the rights of the husband is protected above the wife. Where the woman is subjected to servitude.
Or in some cultures, where the wife is overly protected above the husband.
Marriage is indeed till death so us part.
May God grant us grace to do His will.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR TODAY My marriage is blessed.
PRAYER FOR TODAY Lord, help me to live marriage as you ordained.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go through your marriage vows again.
There are opportunities to lust, to fill our eyes, ears and mouth with promiscuous pictures, movies and lyrics. There are opportunities for pornography, masturbation, homosexuality, lesbianism and the likes.
These are opportunities that should be rejected. You see, there are opportunities that can swallow destinies without a trace. There are opportunities that look like favour but are eternal traps.
No wonder the Bible says favour can be deceitful. There are opportunities that look like testimonies but are orchestrations of hell to trap you.
You see, there are gifts one can take that will make you want to curse God because your hands would be tied. You must be very discerning! You must be like the three Hebrew boys who refused to bow to the idol!
Couples have a lot of opportunities to do ‘good’. A ‘thank you’ here and a ‘word of affirmation’ there will go a long way to improve your marriage.
There are opportunities to profess your unfailing love to your spouse and to labour in prayers for them.
There can be a loving hug, an affectionate touch; an eye to eye contact that speaks volume, the list is endless.
But all these happen only when we are sensitive and discerning and when we go out of our way and comfort zone to extend a loving hand. On the other hand, opportunities to hurt our spouses are like love busters.
They bust the bubbles that make our marriages exciting. They kill the romance and affection in our relationships.
Identify opportunities in the light of the scripture. Let God guide you to know which to accept and embrace and which to reject and avoid.
Men can be doors and they can also be walls. Be discerning. Men can be open doors and they can also be disguised traps!
God will give you wisdom in Jesus name. He will open your eyes to see beyond the obvious. He will help you to identify godly opportunities in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loving and kind. I seize every opportunity to do good in my marriage. I am sensitive to the needs of my spouse. I seek to understand my spouse. I am not selfish in my approach to my spouse. I seek to understand our differences. I respect those differences and seek to adjust to them. My love account with my spouse is good.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I ask for the grace to be selfless. Help me to bring out the best in my spouse and to be lovingly devoted to him/her in love. Help me to use the many opportunities you are giving me well to sow good and lasting seeds of love into my marriage in Jesus’ name. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. –Galatians 6:10 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the good things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse. Begin to take note of opportunities to show affection to your spouse. Minimize love busters as much as possible.
Chance or opportunity is defined as a suitable time or opportunity (favourable time) to do something, especially something ‘good’ and worthwhile. In our marriages, there are opportune times.
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. –Ecclesiastics 9:11 (KJV)
There are opportunities to do good for our spouses. But most of the time we don’t take advantage of these opportunities. We are not often sensitive to our spouses’ needs.
We most often see things from our own standpoint and not from their viewpoint. This calls for understanding. It becomes impossible to love someone you do not understand. You simply become critical.
The Book of Proverbs says ‘Wisdom is the principal thing, in all thy getting get understanding’.
This means as you are ‘getting’ married, also get understanding of the person you are married to. Each day is filled with numerous opportunities to be kind, sacrificial, loving, understanding, tender, and instructive.
There are also opportunities to be selfish, to think only of your own feelings, and opportunities to fall into sexual sins.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am loving and kind. I seize every opportunity to do good in my marriage. I am sensitive to the needs of my spouse. I seek to understand my spouse. I am not selfish in my approach to my spouse. I seek to understand our differences. I respect those differences and seek to adjust to them. My love account with my spouse is good.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I ask for the grace to be selfless. Help me to bring out the best in my spouse and to be lovingly devoted to him/her in love. Help me to use the many opportunities you are giving me well to sow good and lasting seeds of love into my marriage in Jesus’ name. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith. –Galatians 6:10 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the good things you can do to improve your relationship with your spouse. Begin to take note of opportunities to show affection to your spouse. Minimize love busters as much as possible.
