Against contrary opinions, respect in marriage is mutual. People are of the opinion that respect for the husbands is a big deal. Yes, it is. Just as men do not want to be disrespected in private or public, so also do women need a dose of respect.
Men can readily tell what a bruised ego is and in this part of the world, an average man will not tolerate being disrespected in any form, method, shape, or size. In other to have a relationship that is healthy and mutually beneficial, respect has to be mutual.
Some of us don’t even know when we are being disrespected. The gospel of men’s dominance has been preached for so long that women feel they are not worth much, that they are just worthless, less than good, helpless, weaker vessels.
Contrary, women have tremendous strength, ability, knowledge, wisdom, and great dexterity. It takes great strength to be a mother and give birth to a child. To keep a home, multitask, submit to your husband and stay married. All these take great strength.
But if we are going to have a healthy marriage relationship, we would know that submission to one another in the fear of God is essential. A man not submitted to Christ is a difficult man and hard to submit to.
This is not teaching or telling wives not to submit to their husbands. It is addressing the fact that marriage is meant to be mutually beneficial to both the husband and the wife.
What are the practical ways to show respect to yourselves in marriage?
I will write about that tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed in all ramifications.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will enable you to pay the price for the fullness of His blessings in your home.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:4 [AMP]Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
3. Never allow anybody to come and live with you in the house without the full agreement of your spouse. If your spouse is not in support, your attempt to help others can be at the expense of your marriage and it can drive you apart.
Many marriages are under tremendous pressures because the wife is not only taking care of her husband but several siblings at a time. Issue will necessarily come out of this.
4. Never oppose your spouse openly. Don’t build walls against yourself. If you must correct your spouse, don’t do it in the presence of his friends and colleagues, you might end up adding more to the issue.
However, you can always have a confidant with whom both of you agree you can discuss with, because there are times you really need to pour your hearts out.
5. Never get close to others other than your spouse. Be your spouse’s friend and never allow anybody to come in between you.
There are Delialahs, Jezebels, Amnons, Jonadabs and so on. The moment you know, and you always know that you are getting up close and emotional to someone apart from your spouse, cut it off, or else you will soon be in serious problems. The moment you can hide things from your spouse, it is the beginning of problems.
The moment you can discuss your spouse with colleagues and they discuss theirs with you, you are going too far. The devil will set a trap. Avoid distractions.
May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My spouse is second to none but God.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach us to be a skillful couple in loving you and loving ourselves
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Co 2:11 MSG After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief–we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse on how you can love each other better.
One man was avidly studying his wedding certificate for hours. Upon being asked why he said he was looking for the expiry date! Sorry marriage does not expire, there is no reverse gear.
Another man was watching his wedding tape, but this time backward! He saw himself remove the ring, walked out of the church entered his car, and zoomed off. He wished he could do that in real life, but sorry! Marriage is a haven, not an oven. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. There is tremendous power in marriage as a couple.
The devil recognizes this power at your disposal as a married couple. That is why his intention is to throw a monkey wrench at your stuff. There are some precautions you can take in order to ensure that you are one with your spouse and that the power of agreement is not broken.
The Christian life is not hard to live, in fact, it is when you don’t follow God that things get messed up and complicated. That is why Jesus Christ said his yoke is easy, learn about it, it is easier that way.
1. If you want a successful marriage, never insult or abuse your spouse on account of someone else. Preserve your marriage by respecting your spouse inside and outside. This is because, for men, respect is a major issue. Every man is egocentric, although excessive egocentricity is not good.
2. Never empower others against your spouse. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. You are one in marriage, and that is how God sees it. Support your spouse always.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will invest in my marriage. My spouse is second to none but God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach us to be a skillful couple in loving you and loving ourselves
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2Co 2:11 MSG After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief–we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your spouse on how you can love each other better.
God has made it very easy for you. Focus only becomes effective when your attention and energy are on ONE thing! So what is that one thing? The moment there are two things, it is no longer focus. What is that one thing?
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. – Heb 12:2-3 KJV
So easy! Looking unto Jesus! That is as simple as you can see it. How do you look at Jesus? By looking at His word! Regularly! Continuously!
Why look at Jesus?
Because he is the author and finisher of your faith and your life! Your life is like a book and Jesus authored it! The book is not about to be written, it has been written and published. You are only acting out the script!
It becomes logical then to make sure you act well. You have to look at the author who is also the director of your life’s flick. Each chapter of the book is a portion and a season of your life. You have to keep on looking at Jesus and His word because the devil is always attempting to offer you what is never part of the script.
The moment you stop looking, focus is broken and there will be serious troubles, agony, and regrets.
How do I know that what God authored in the book are good things about me?
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. – Jer 29:11 KJV
Waoh! They are good stuff! I need to simply focus on Him!
Take a look at the message translation:
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. – Jer 29:11 MSG
Glory to God! Make up your mind to focus on Him this year and see the result. There is joy set before you! God wants to take care of you! Seriously! Others may not know what is going on with your life, but God says emphatically, ‘I know what I am doing!’ He is the author!
When you focus on Him and His Word, you will come to discover a lot. There is a chapter He has authored about your relationship and courtship. There is a chapter He has authored about your marriage. As you focus on Him, you will effortlessly glide into His will and plan for your life! That is the benefit of focus!
There are some things you are going through that are never part of His original script because you have refused to focus on Him and probably compromised as a result.
However, despite every broken focus experience, if you make up your mind today to focus on Him, God can fast-forward, rewind, pause, stop, erase, cancel, add, rewrite, restore, and do anything for you! How will He do that? He is the author…not just that….but also the finisher! Glory to God!
He is the one that will finish the story! The devil does not have the final say! God does! Turn around today and decide to focus!
For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. – Isa 50:7 KJV
Make up your mind. Set your face like a flint never to compromise again. God will help you and He will save you from imminent shame! Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused. I will not be distracted.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you focus and cause your face to be set like a flint
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 50:7 AMP For the Lord God helps Me; therefore have I not been ashamed or confounded. Therefore have I set My face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consciously disengage yourself from every distraction
As I listened to God’s Spirit to know what I will write this morning, I heard something about focus. So I believe the few words you are about to read are heaven’s message for you this morning.
And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. – Luk 9:62 KJV
Dear married couple, I write to you this morning on one ingredient you need, not only in your marriage but in life.
It is called focus! I like the definition that says “To concentrate attention or energy.”
In this contemporaneous world filled with mega distractions, there is no such time as this when this message becomes relevant.
When the devil wants to trap you, he brings distractions. The moment you are enticed and yielded, the focus is broken and the process of what God is trying to do in your life becomes delayed.
A child of God attending night parties for example will have his or her focus broken. There are things they do at night parties that you wouldn’t be able to share testimonies about, so there is no point wasting your time in such places. It’s just distractions.
There are ungodly friends that you keep that can break your focus. Many a life has been ruined by wrong associations.
When you engage in adultery, it’s a distraction and your focus will be broken. No matter how nice the person is, what is wrong is wrong!
The moment you put your hand on the plough, a process about your life and the plan of God for you begins and it is gradually unveiled. The moment you start to compromise, you tamper with that process! You are not supposed to look back. Looking back is not a kingdom mentality.
In the amours of a believer listed in the book of Ephesians, only the back has no protection! Why? You are not meant to look back!
The question is what do you focus on?
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am focused. I will not be distracted.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you focus and cause your face to be set like a flint
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isa 50:7 AMP For the Lord God helps Me; therefore have I not been ashamed or confounded. Therefore have I set My face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consciously disengage yourself from every distraction
