I discussed the topic “How To Overcome Hurt In Marriage” yesterday and today, I will be concluding on the topic.
We established that the enemy often seeks to use the weapon of hurt to wrought his 3 fold agenda in marriages which is to steal, kill and destroy. No marriage is immune to the strategies and attacks of the enemy. He will often steal from our marriages, kill and snooze out life from our marriage and totally destroy all that our marriage stands for.
Hurt is a blessing blocker. When you are hurt, your heart cannot receive from God.
Getting rid of hurts and making sure your heart is guarded against any form of hurt that may arise. See the spiritual implication of hurt and what it can potentially do to your marriage.
If you don’t learn to handle your hurts the right way, it will lead to bitterness, which can lead to rage which can lead to all sorts of vices like murder.
There is a right way and a wrong way of handling hurts. Make sure you are not a victim to the deadly poison of hurt.
Some wrong and unhealthy ways to handle hurt include:
1. Vengeance or retaliation. This is when you allow the hurt to get at you so much that you act back based on the hurt. Retaliation could come in various ways, wanting to hurt your spouse back, or inflict pain.
2. Closing your heart We have a tendency to block our hearts as a way of protecting our hearts from further hurts.
3. Rehearsing or replaying the hurt We may also be in the rot of replaying the words or event that hurt us.
I know there are different levels and degree of hurt, but whichever, we have a responsibility of guarding our heart and we have a choice not to be hurt.
The best way to guard our heart against hurts is taking communion. Try it because it works so well. Take communion and plead the blood of Jesus over your heart.
Also take authority over the hurt. Exercise authority over words that cause hurts. Guard your heart against the effect of hurt using these two scriptures
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. Isaiah 54:17 KJV
Anytime there is a quarrel between couples and there are exchange of harsh words, you will do well to guard your heart against this hurt.
Even after you have made up and started talking, if not properly dealt with , you could still be nursing the hurt. Get rid of the hurt and don’t allow any root of bitterness defile you.
Let your heart be void of offence, bitterness or hurt against your spouse, siblings, parents, God, life, etc
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be hurt. I refuse to be bitter.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to forgive those who hurt me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to get rid of offense
Every marriage atone time or another will need the wine in the marriage to be renewed or replenish. This happens probably because we made more withdrawals than deposits in the emotional tank of each other.
Life happens and a times we get too busy or occupied with our tight schedules that we lag behind in the things that make our marriage sizzle. Maybe as a wife you have been busy with house chores, children , in laws, office work and you have been a liitle grouchy lately.
As a husband too, maybe you have been cranky lately with bills piling up and their deadline approaching or as a son to your parents you have responsibilities to fulfill or maybe your mechanic played a fast one on you and the list could be endless of different things that get us overwhelmed with life itself.
All these will eventually affect our marriage one way or the other.
In John 2:1-11 in the story of the Marriage at Cana in Galilee, we saw that at a particular point and time in the marriage the new finished. Thank God for Jesus being around at the marriage.
Jesus is the only solution for finished wine in our marriage. But Jesus alone did make it happen. Just as your being born again doesn’t guarantee the automatic renewal of the wine of your marriage.
In the marriage at Cana of Galilee, the key players are
1. Jesus Christ 2. The mother of Jesus 3. The Servants 4. The Bride and Groom 5. The chairman of the ceremony
For there to be renewal of your marriage wine you also need these people in your marriage.
1. Jesus Christ. – He is the Word. You need the word to be spoken over your marriage. You have to have an active relationship with the word and invite Jesus into your marriage.
2. The mother of Jesus. – you need people who care and are interested in you because they love you. They notice the little details of your life about your life and watch out for you. You have to give them the permission into your space.
They are like your mentor. This could also pass for the Holy spirit. Who nudges you that the wine in your marriage needs renewal.
3. The servants. –These are like your Protégées. They will do whatever you ask them to do. You must know how to manage them for the benefit of your marriage. Don’t let them become pain to you, they are gift. This could pass for your faculties you employ and yield in obedience to Jesus
4. The bride and groom. – they are the couples whose marriage the wine needs renewal. Their marriage can become beautiful again. They can be helped of God and become the envy of all people.
5. The chairman of the ceremony. – this stands for the unbelievers around who will witness and share in the joy of what the Lord has and can do in your marriage when invited.
May we always allow Jesus into our marriage. God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The wine of my marriage will not finish. I receive divine refilling.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to know when I need a refill.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 2:5 His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.
Jer 33:1-3 KJV (1) Moreover the word of the LORD came unto Jeremiah the second time, while he was yet shut up in the court of the prison, saying, (2) Thus saith the LORD the maker thereof, the LORD that formed it, to establish it; the LORD is his name; (3) Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
This is what I love about the God’s word. The word of the Lord came unto Jeremiah… Here, it is like saying a human being walks up to you…but actually, God’s word is more tangible than a human. The word of God is life…it is alive and it is the source of every life. It is that same word that became flesh and dwelt among us!
You see, the word of the Lord will always come and that is the beginning of good things in your life and the end of unpalatable experiences. The word of the Lord….let it come unto you daily before you leave your room, before you step out into your daily endeavor, it is the secret of life! Before you see the dawn of the day, and step out into the early morning sunshine, let the word of God light your soul in its blazing Shekinah glory!
And you see, the word of the Lord was not just coming unto Jeremiah…the scripture says it came unto him the second time…. God is a God of the second chance, and the third chance and the fourth chance and until you get it! He will come to you again and again because of His loving kindness and mercy…to you out there reading this…don’t back out on God, for He will lovingly embrace you when you respond to His word. You are not too far-gone; don’t allow the devil to deceive you. God will embrace the vilest of sinners that come unto Him and wash them clean as white as snow!
I then I love this… “…while he was yet shut up in the court of the prison. The word of God is not location-limited or circumstance-hindered. It does not discriminate and it does not play politics! It is not partial or biased. There is no distance in the realm of the spirit. That word came unto Jeremiah while he was still locked up.
Do you feel locked up and confused in a relationship? Do you feel barred and busted? The word of the Lord is what will free you. For you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
In that situation that looks very bleak, what you need to get you out is the word of God. In those situations, the last thing your flesh wants to do is to read or study God’s word. Your flesh wants to panic, cry, gossip, rant, complain and play the blame-game. It wants to get depressed and have some pity-party.
But you see, in such situations, you cannot allow your body to dictate to you. You must put your body under by diving into God’s word to hear what He will say unto you.
You see, whatever you are facing right now, whatever imbroglio you find yourself, whatever relationship issue or marriage pressure that faces you, one thing guaranteed to sort you out is to know God’s word. And that word will come unto wherever you are. Joseph was in the prison until the word of God tried him. That word will dissolve every puzzle and unravel every enigma.
You are confused as to the choice of who to marry? Get back into God’s word for in Him is life and the life is the light of men! The life gives you energy to go the way that the light will show you.
Verse 3 says
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
Message translation says:
Jer 33:3 MSG ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’
You see, there are things about your life, relationship and marriage you can never figure out on your own. You don’t often see beyond your nose. Your sight is often terminated by the horizon.
There are deceivers. A handsome man is not always a God loving man. A rich man is not always a nice man. A wicked man can be mercifully cruel! A beautiful woman can be a strange woman. The bible talks about a beautiful face on an empty head! How do you figure out some of these things?
The first thing is that the word of God must come unto you. The second thing is that you learn to call unto Him and He will answer you! The question is will it be that easy? Just call Him and then the next thing is that He will answer? This is the way I want you to see it. When you call a stranger, you’re introduce yourself first. When you call a friend, he already has your number and sometimes, you don’t even greet him or her before you say what you want to say. The scripture above is obviously one of a friendship, a relationship with God.
Call unto me, and I will answer… It didn’t say, “Call unto me, and introduce yourself and then I will consult my angel to find out who you are…”
It’s just like “Call unto me, and I will answer! Why? The background is that the word of the Lord already came unto you. There is already a relationship! It is on that premise that you call unto Him and He will answer you!
I pray for you this morning that even as you read this, the word of the Lord will come unto you to lift you out every miry clay and set you foot upon the mountain. You will overcome that challenge by the word of God.
You are not condemned because of that mistake; the word of God will come unto you and make you a new specie! You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. The very thing you need to know this day, God’s word will bring it unto you! Stop crying, wipe the tears off and get into God’s word! CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a lover of God’s word. I have what it takes to know and live the word.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to know the Word
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study a book on how to know God’s plan for your life
I haveoften heard that those we love hurt us deeper than anyone else. Especially our spouse. I had felt it can’t be that bad.
This world is full of hurtful people. I think the hurt is deeper when in marriage you hurt yourselves and keep on hunting yourselves unless you made up your mind not to hurt.
Hurt is a decision. It is not based on your feeling. You have to make a conscious effort and decision against hurt. Some people have been hurt most years of their life.
That is what the devil wants. He is busy having a nice time stealing joy, peace, life, compassion, unity and love from families.
The point is, people, your spouse, and those you hold dear to you will not stop hurting you but you have to make up your mind you won’t allow the hurt get at you.
Hurtful words spoken are like the cutting of the sword especially if your spouse is a choleric. You cannot prevent people from misunderstanding you, people judging you falsely, lying about you etc.
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18 KJV
From this scripture, you can pray for your spouse or of its a God ordained relationship or a relationship you can’t avoid. Pray that their tongues become the tongue of the wise that brings healing.
Hurt is like drinking poison and hoping your neighbour dies. That’s not going to happen. Hurts make you bitter. You can be bitter all your life if care is not taken. You will just see that 60 years of your life is gone without achieving much because of hurt and bitterness.
Let receive Grace from the Lord. Jesus was hated, misunderstood, lied against, misjudged, criticised, yet none of this affected him.
He choose to be immune against hurt. He kept His vision before His eyes. He choose between being powerful or being pitiful. He couldn’t possibly have died for humanity if He hated humanity. If he didn’t forgive on time, He couldn’t go to the cross.
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Luke 10:19 KJV
Jesus knew we will be faced with hurt and made provision for it. We have to walk in our authority over hurts.
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord , and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord . Isaiah 54:17 KJV
You have to take charge of your emotions. Not even your feelings should be strong enough to stop you from fulfilling your purpose. You are only answerable to one. The one who died on the cross for you. When you face to face before Him on the judgement day, you will have no excuse to offer. Jesus passed through the same and was victorious. He overcame and gave you the victory. He gave the blood of Jesus, the Word, the shield of faith, communion etc.
You have to take the shield of faith which is the Word of God. Anytime words are spoken to you that are hurtful, lies, etc remind yourself and confession out loud and use it against the wile of the enemy.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. Ephesians 6:16 KJV
Remember protect yourself against hurt and every negative emotions.
Protect yourself Gods way. There are negative ways of dealing with hurts. I will talk about that later.
We startedon the topic “These types of couples need urgent help” yesterday, we will continue today
4. Two people who are sentimental
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home. Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from sentimental point of view rather than principles.
In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments. They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two people who are angry
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it.
An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
6. Two people who are deceptive
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out.
Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two people who are unforgiving
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life.
Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will grow in my relationship with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be faithful to your partner
